How crazy does it get? A life as a bastard, a father as a king, a mother who is resting in peace, an uncle as a viscount, and a father who is a duke. How crazy does it get, dearest? If all this belongs to me as claimed, then why am I still revolving around and feeling all these unwanted yearnings? The king's carriage had arrived right, reason behind why we left the hotel. It was well and fully set: enough servants for me, enough food for me, enough clothes for me, and gold coins. Honestly, on mu lives, I am one who does not know where my riches root. It might be in the skies up above, but some way or another, I still make it to have something. The night was cozy, but I still could not shake the thought of how the princess was doing. I was not set to see her, but I felt the urge to just speak to her or look at her at some distance. I needed an answer; if she really was to be my sister, as the viscount disdained. And if she were, I sure would put the most implacable space and boundary between us, even if it meant running away from her gaze.
On waking, I hoped every member who accompanied me in this place quite enjoyed the night as I did, for as I bathed, I could hear the scrubs and washing on the ground floor and the talks in the kitchen. One thing I admired about servants was that they never seized the opportunity to neglect their jobs, despite how tired they were. Their job was always first-hand duty; even in the middle of their nights, when slumber hit the climax edge, they somehow awoke to check if their master was still alive or well. Their father never cared much about them. He just reprimanded them sometimes when he was furious, but most times he preferred doing his duties instead of asking them somehow to do this and that.
On my arrival downstairs, I was greeted by one of the maidens: "What would you love, my lord?" I was not in the mood to be called by the names lordships and lady ship. I just wanted to become a mere Viking or some Willock guy living under the roofs of a Duke's house. However, I did not say anything other than requesting them to bring what they had prepared, and so I sat in one of the chairs as I waited for Lady Elizabeth to step down, so as we could together, embrace the breakfast our hardworking domestics had prepared. I had noticed there were three maidens and three guards, in addition to those of the duke, who were about four, and the one with whom Lady Elizabeth came. Well, they were many, if I may say so. "My lord, a letter from the Duke." The guard from the gates said this, carrying scrolls and a big book with him. I took them and started reading, first the letter, with which I will quote,
Dearest Willock.
I hear you fell for a princess, or maybe you both fell, but that's your business to deal with. I have taught you enough about love and relationships. Only one thing I'll add to this letter, sometimes hearts are meant to break in order to harden.
However, son, I am not writing for the rumors or about your love stories; I am writing to tell you a thing. I have always shown you my businesses in Tigris. From the hotel and wrestling club to the shipping of shipments, food, and steel from the lake to every other part of the world. The books are in the library; read all of them from the first word to the last, as large and as many as they are. As the businesses are now quite flourishing, I believe you won't let me down. Ask Jaykim, the guard, anything about the business. As you know, some of them are not as clean, Jaykim understands everything, he, will take you through each. Learn how to fight, for more fights await you on the edge. The battle has not yet begun, but I feel it coming.
I will come at the end of this season; for now, I prepare to deal with the upcoming social event in relation to how I can end the poverty that reigns in the province. After finishing, I will come to your aid. I hope anything that the king offers, you shall not accept, for you are the rightful heir of all this. I believe you have the right mind to know who the realest are and who are not.
Lastly, son. I hope I will remain a father to you, even in the moments of confusion and yearning for power in case they assert themselves on your mind. I fear someone will inject your mind with ill tremors, and you will forget your roots. Your roots as a duke remain ingrained, which is why I let you deal with the businesses there. The fight will be hard; a lot of emotional drain will be needed from you; a lot of tears will be shed by you; and a lot of choosing will be needed from you.
This letter I write drunk, as you know, I am not a man of pouring my deepest emotions into some piece. I am still a father who has always wanted the best for you. Lady Isla taught me and made me promise to take care of you. It's like she knew she might not make it in the end with you. My wall has crumbled since I heard the news, the rumors that the king has sent his guards for your protection. Take care of our business. Welcome to adulthood.
Father. Vikings!
The letter was full of words, I can say. Business and work in the Lake are all on my watch. By this, I knew what father meant: I sure shall be the one to pay all these people, and I, will be responsible for taking care of the people here in the lake" I was never prepared for this. Even when taught, I never quite listened to anything; I was always waiting for him to end his statements so that I could leave to go and play with brother. Was I to be the heir of the Duke? Charles had never been taught about the workings of the Duke. He was just taught about random calculations and how to check checks, write invoices, and speak to people. Most of the time, it was me and my father, -being beaten from wrong calculation making, writing invoices on behalf of father, filling in information, and taking over as the Duke when he was not available, in terms of the businesses. However, as I had stated earlier, this is what I meant when I said that inside the Duke's house I was treated as a Duke and some sort of royal, but outside I was a mere bastard. Nevertheless, this is what it was; some responsibility has been offered unto me, and I sure had the right to fulfill it. Tough. "What are you reading?" Lady Elizabeth asked in a rather loud and sleepy voice. I wanted to scoop up the papers, especially the letter, but I couldn't, for she had already caught a glimpse of it. I did not want her to see what father had stated about the king; it would be rude for a duke to state such words about his highness. "A letter from the Duke? I am sure he says you stay away from your real roots." I did not know what to say to that but just kept quiet about it. "The Duke and his highness have never got along since childhood. There has always been something between the two, which they refuse to state out loud to people. They would drink together, but later on they would fight each other to the edge of almost death. I am not surprised by the Duke's warnings. He fears you will leave him. A caring father he is to be, I can say." "Breakfast." I stated that I was trying to change the subject, and as if the lady understood, she just smiled and sat opposite me. As she was serving herself the nice bread and tea that had been prepared for us, I called upon one of the guards that had been standing next to us and requested that he take all the scrolls and books that Father had sent to the library. Maybe some work would certainly fill my mind with thoughts of the princess and the world as a whole. "What brings you here, Lady Elizabeth? That is, if you mind me not asking." I asked, hoping for an answer. I knew she had something. She cleared her throat and stated, "My house is quite large. Accommodation is quite flourishing, and since my husband passed and my daughters married off, it has been quite lonely and alone in that castle. I hoped you moved in as a family; maybe one thing I can do for Lady Isla now that I have known about you." Her voice was steady and soft—emotional, if I may say. She looked at me in adoration, hoping for me to say yes. But I knew—I have businesses—that my father had already settled on my back for me to carry. Leaving for Lady Elizabeth's would mean alienating, or rather deserting, father's business. I was never taught how to say no. I was always the soft boy who could never say no to someone's request, and so I replied, "I appreciate your wants. I don't know much about London or about you, but living under your roof means you have the utmost trust towards me. Though, in the letter, father wants me to takeover and run the businesses here in Tigris. I don't know how much control the business wants and am not quite knowledgeable about the business partners. However, when all this is settled, I will definitely be coming to visit at least three times a week. To see your doings and at least to kill the boredom in my presence." By the look on her face, I saw some look of disappointment, which she flashed right when she realized I was gazing at her. "Okay. I understand everything; don't mind everything I said. You just remind me a lot of my friend." I just nodded to that. I knew, despite how many words I said to help her not feel sorry, it would never make me change my mind about staying here. Of course I would visit her and maybe glance at the princess; that's a good reason. Maybe I should be leaving for her place during ball dances so that I can play the piano in hiding as I watch the princess, hoping she will not be embraced by another. "Is the princess my sister?" I asked. This time, I wanted an answer. If she were to be my sister, my heart would ache, but this lady's words made it ache less. "The princess is not betrothed. That answers much of your quest. I believe you are not much of a fool to understand the statement." She stated this with a smile. Maybe I believed that I understood what she said, but she had left me in an imaginary world as much and in darkness as I was earlier. This never helped either way. Maybe she wasn't my sister; this means something made them not want me for the princess; something was sure wrong. Anyway, all this was just thought; the rightful answers reigned over his highness and the Queen, or maybe the princess knew as much that she was not one. "Well, Lord Willock. I was not set to stay as long here. I yearned to know where your mother rested and requested that you do whatever I stated. I hope you will visit often and feel free to even work under the guidance and protection of my roof." With that, Lady Elizabeth stood, and, as if in knowledge, his guard came out with the simple bag she had carried. "Quite fast, Lady Elizabeth." I asked, and she replied, "I was not here to stay even for the night; I just did not know how to state my yearnings, and since you had asked, I see no reason for me to stay. I hope you stay healthy. Don't participate in wrestling; it might scratch your exquisite and handsome face. Visit. The next ball will be at the Hondorous grounds, and I believe you are not set to miss. Find yourself a perfect match, but not the princess. She and you are no match, I'm sorry to say, dear son. She deserves better, you know that." Her last words hit again, like an ice cold, ingrained in my heart: "You are no match; she deserves better.' She sure did. "Of course, I understand." "You sure should, Lord Willock; your secrecy will be on the verge of showcasing if the princess is put in the picture. You will tarnish so many names, and you know that. A lot lies on you, as much as it all started with you and might end with you. Excuse me, I should leave for London. Stay safe, boy. Take my words with caution." With that, I took her hand and walked her out of the doors as the guards opened the doors for her to enter. When she was finally cozy in her seat, I felt the urge to enter and just kiss her forehead as a goodbye. The little time I had spent with her made me feel like she was my mother. She acted like one; the Viking's wife and mother, of course, showed me all sorts of affection and love, but she never engaged herself in heartfelt talks with me as much as I wished to. She was not missing, but I missed the feeling of having someone who understood me. She always fully spoke with Charles and would reprimand and angrily shout at him, but she never did that to me. Even if I made the greatest mistake, she would always wait for my father to punish me. And that I hated; I wanted to feel her impact in my life. Her teachings: what was it like to have someone as a mother who could slap you hard because of wrestling with other kids? Well, I'm funny, I guess. As other kids complained of their parents being too harsh, I complained of my mother being too soft. Ironical. As I rethought, the carriage was leaving, and my hand waved onto the lady as tears tried to escape my eyes. I was always emotional when it came to people who cared for me. I felt it whenever they left; I felt it whenever they were out of my presence. I was always scared of losing them. But now I had business to do. And some wrestling activity in the hotel, after leaving last night having promised them. I totally had forgot about that. With that, I entered the house with nothing ingrained in my mind but to read all the books in my father's library. Business it is; maybe later on do some fighting exercises with one of the guards. Just maybe.