Arvid returned to Strasbourg and Thomas disappeared out of Liv's life again. In comparison to the feeling Arvid left behind when he had gone, the one Thomas left was much more unnerving and vexing. Still, weeks later, she could start to think about how he had kissed her and touched her and feel heat rising to her cheeks and something move inside her chest and stomach. Not butterflies, no, more like a torture device, punching the breath out of her at any time.
It's just a crush, it'll go away, she made herself think. Even so, she knew she didn't want it to go away. Sure, it was torture but it was an exhilarating kind of torture, filling her with angsty thrills of longing.
He was on her mind next to all the time and for some, very much annoying reason, Wilma had started to talk about him a lot, making Liv suspect that she was suffering from lovesick too. Over and over again Wilma would pry Melvin for details about the evening the previous autumn, when Thomas had been at Liv's place at the same time as Melvin. When he retold the story of how Thomas had come across as cold and rather murderous she looked delighted and smiled at Liv.
"I know it's old and probably sexist but being overprotective still sells, man...", she sighed.
Wilma had had a couple of boyfriends before - all of them the difficult, ruthless type. Older guys with whom she always seemed to develop more of a motherly relationship with. In the end they always started to use her in one way or another and Liv had to do everything in her might to convince Wilma to break it off. It was a pity, really, seeing as Liv thought Wilma the closest thing to an angel she had ever come near, both in behaviour and looks.
Wilma's hair was lighter, almost white, and curlier than Liv's, coming down just to her shoulders, and her skin was always effortlessly tan and glowing somehow. Paired with her inability to ever be even the slightest bit mean or cynical, she was what Liv would define as a catch.
"You'd actually be great together", Liv said, ignoring the physical pain it caused her to utter those words, "You two are honestly the best people I know."
"Trying not to hear that..."
Melvin had walked up to them and looked crossly at Liv who just smiled and squinted at him.
"Can we get out some night soon? I need...", she stopped herself before saying "to get my mind of my brother's best friend" and opted instead for "to forget about school for a while".
"You won't have to ask me twice. There's actually this thing tomorrow night at the Alvik-cliffs", Melvin said, "Only the thing is..."
"Yeah what?"
"Alice is the one organising it and you guys are sort of... not very close I guess."
"Got that right...", Liv muttered and looked down at her feet.
Most people were aware of the ongoing rumour about how Alice's father had sexually harassed a teenager last year in august. However, no one except Wilma knew Liv was the teenager in question.
"We'll come!", Wilma cheered, "I'll ask her if it's okay."
"Honestly don't bother her...", Liv begun but Wilma had already run off.
The night turned out to be the opposite of what she had needed. When they arrived most of the people present were already wasted, Alice most of all. Apparently she was so drunk she even talked to Liv, which was saying a lot.
"Hey there besties", she garbled upon seeing Wilma and Liv and tottered up to them, stumbling over the uneven, cliffy terrain.
Wilma put her arms around her and supported her, glancing worriedly at Liv.
"Didn't miss this part of our friendship", Liv said and rolled her eyes.
They had had to take care of a drunken Alice several times before.
"Be nice", Wilma mumbled and patted Alice's messy brown hair.
Then Alice threw up all over Wilma just as Melvin walked up to them, seemingly also pretty drunk.
"Oh my. Now that's a welcome if anything", he laughed but stopped when he saw that Alice's head fell down to her chest and that Wilma and Liv practically had to hold her upright.
"Hey, Alice! Stand up straight for us, won't you?", he added, looking mildly concerned.
"She was with some guys when I came, never seen them before."
A bit further down the cliffs a group of boys, clearly older than them, leered up at them and yelled some inaudible things.
"Give it back here", Liv thought she perceived and unconsciously tightened her grip around Alice.
"We should call someone", Wilma stated, cringing away from her vomit-drenched clothes, "It's either we leave or I'm skinny dipping in front of those guys to get clean. I can't get on the bus like this either."
"Maybe her mom", Liv suggested but got a startled look from Wilma.
"No way! You'd want your mom involved if you were in this state?"
Before she could answer Melvin picked up his phone and nodded at them.
"I know just who to call", he said, slurring a little and walked off a bit.
A few minutes later he came back with a wry smile.
"Help is on the way! Oh and so is Wilma's future husband."
Liv's eyes widened in realisation.
"No! Tell me you did n... You don't have his number."
"Google Thomas Nielsen 23 and you get his address and everything", Melvin smiled triumphantly.
"Please tell me you're joking", she asked despite already knowing.
"Oh, relax, it's just your semi-brother or whatever kinda relationship it is you entertain... Don't look so devastated, I just thought Wilma could use a set-up since she's talking about him constantly and..."
"Are you kidding me! I've got vomit all over me and you think this is the time for that!", Wilma exclaimed.
Alice muttered something too but Liv felt too upset to listen to either of them. For weeks she had been so determined - just like Thomas wanted, needed her to be, and now it was all for nothing. She had lied awake for hours every night thinking about him, forcing herself to not even think about considering texting or calling him. Melvin had shattered everything with a single phone call and something dropped in her stomach when she thought about how disappointed Thomas would be in her. How desperate she would seem - to not be able to go without him for even a month.
"Honestly fuck you", she said louder than she had meant and both Melvin and Wilma stared surprised at her.
"Tell me what you said to him, exactly what you said!"
"Jesus, okay, calm down. I just said there were some drunk damsels in distress here in need of a sober knight with a shining drivers license."
"It's not totally off, Liv", Wilma said softly, "We do need help. Help from someone who's not our parents."
"I'm just not on the best of terms with him at the moment", she wearily attempted to explain and made an effort to not start swearing out loud.
She then hopefully called him again to try and cancel it off but he did not pick up and she figured he must already be driving. Some other kids from their year had walked up to Melvin and it seemed like they were consolidating.
"We're out of here", he then informed them, "Those dudes down there are picking fights. Reckon you'll be okay 'til he shows up?"
"Yeah sure", Liv muttered, still too upset to look straight at him.
"Ok? Tell him hi from me!"
"Will do!", Wilma smiled and Liv shot an annoyed glare at her.
The closest parking lot was quiet far off, giving them at least a few minutes to clean themselves up, Liv figured.
"Hey, hello, Alice. Feeling any better?", she whispered and shook her gently while Wilma tried to make her clothes less disgusting best she could.
"Got left behind girls?", a voice rose up from the group of guys.
Just as some of them started to climb up closer towards them Liv felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Hey, what's going on?"
Thomas stood behind her looking worried and tired. Quickly she focused her gaze on the ground reminding herself of her promise to him. Before she could answer the guys roared with disappointment.
"Who's that?", they shouted.
"Our big brother!", Alice shouted back, alert all of a sudden.
She must have confused Thomas with Arvid.
"Brothers share! Brothers share! Brothers share!", the boys started to chant loudly.
"Lovely company you keep", Thomas said flatly and Liv winced at him.
"Oh, me and Liv just came. We didn't know they'd be here", Wilma hurried to explain.
"And this one?", he nodded towards Alice who had gone back to staring blankly in front of her.
"Those guys gave her something. We don't know what."
Thomas walked up to Alice, lifted her chin and examined her face. Liv knew his expertise in these sorts of things came from a childhood spent always trying to figure out what his father was on. Then he sighed and turned to Liv again.
"And I'm guessing any involvement of parents is out of the question."
"Yes!", all three of them answered simultaneously and so he pointed towards the path that led away from the cliffs.
Wilma apologised repeatedly in the car but Liv just said nothing, held back Alice's hair and dreaded whatever it was that awaited. A lesson? Disappointment? Sheer apathy?
"Thank you so much Tommy. This is so sweet of you, and we're truly sorry."
"Quit sucking up to him Wilma", Alice muttered and Wilma blushed.
Thomas seemed to pretend he had not heard anything.
"I'm the one with daddy issues so leave him to me...", she went on slurring.
"Hey I'm twenty-three, not fifty", Thomas said and Liv saw he was almost smiling in the rear view mirror.
What was even more funny was that if everyone in the car would compete for most entitled to have daddy issues it would indefinitely be the driver who would win.
"Liv's got it worse though. Suppose 'cause her dad didn't want her. Did you know... Did you know she tried to fuck my dad? I mean that's messed up... So now I can't see him."
Liv felt her stomach turn to ice.
"Yeah, I'm not against throwing her out of the car."
Thomas spoke calmly but she saw his hands clench the steering wheel.
"She's drunk it's fine", she ensured him but drew back the arm she had wrapped around Alice.
The rest of the ride was completely quiet.