At night, the three of us went back home with my father. Min Soo and Rena were walking whispering in front of me and my father who was telling me some news about Hyoun Woo who applied for a job in a company in Seoul as a lawyer. I was listening to him while my sight was extending toward the two girls. My mind was not able to catch my father's words anymore. I badly wanted to ask Rena about the date of her birthday. I ran fast to stop her. She was in shock picking on my question. We had spent a long time looking at each other before she answered me. I was wrong. The 10th of October was not the date of her birthday.
I stepped a few steps forward. then!! Wait... wait! It's me who was born on October 10th ...yeah...me! But what did this date mean? And how could it be related to Rena?
The following day, when I knocked on Rena's house door to go upstairs to knock on Soo's door, she looked at me with a frowny face. I did not ask about the reasons behind that frown on her face, whether it was because of her boyfriend or because of the weird question I had asked last night. I left the mission for Soo.
At the door, she was standing and so was I, waiting, when her young brother sneaked under her arm which was leaning on the door. She went in for a while and then returned saying that she was not going to school. Again, I did not ask about the reason. I nodded then stepped up to knock on Soo's door. But she was still in her pajamas playing with her curly hair. It was obvious that she spent the last night watching several parties of her beloved bands. To be honest, I did not wait for her. I left her standing at the door, but she hissed angrily saying some mean words describing me as someone who lacks loyalty. I ignored her blaming words and took the elevator down. As quickly as possible I left the building, suddenly, something fell next to me, hitting my right shoulder and causing horrendous pain. I turned immediately to check what the matter was, and I was surprised to find a bleeding body that was breathing hard, making a sad whine counting its last breaths due to the lack of blood. I glowered at the corpse identifying to whom it belongs. It was Rena's young brother. My eyes were full of tears, and my body was shaking owing to the horrifying scene, but still, I did not cry.
Some passersby, who saw that kid throwing himself from the seventh floor, rushed towards the corpse. My parents, who had heard people's screams, came down out of the building to find that a huge crowd had already surrounded the corpse.
It was a so hard tragedy for both Rena and her mother. The sore mother threw herself onto her son's body crying in pain with a husky throat in a horrendous scene that breaks the hearts, but I could not cry.
I did not go to school that day, I stayed at home with my mother who tried to calm me down but her efforts went in vain. My eyes were staring at a faraway gap in sorrow. My mother said that we should go to stand by Rena's family but I could not dismiss the fear of those wolves which were howling inside me. One idea was spinning in my mind continuously. The 10th of October was not just my birthday, but the day that Rena's young brother committed suicide!
For the whole two weeks, Rena did not come to school. I visited her with Soo during that period. But the only one who succeeded in comforting her was Soo. I could not say a single word to her; the words got stocked in my throat as usual. I did not know what to say. She was in dreadful pain, suffering deeply, tearing making such a sorrowful face like mine in my nightmares with the river. I saw how much pain she was experiencing, and that was why I was afraid to scatter some stupid words here and there.
However, on my last visit, I forced myself to talk saying:" We're waiting for you, me and Soo, so come back soon if you please".
Something sparkled inside her eyes while hearing my words, and I thought that her torture would vanish and that she would find some light in that long dark way of her, I felt that the muscles of her face were shrinking to draw a wonderful smile, but suddenly it changed to form a crying face. I felt upset and stressed then I left hurriedly.
After days, she surprised me by knocking on my door to go to school together. On our way to school, I felt uncomfortable because I was not so good at consoling, I was not so good at stating my feelings, I was not so good at caressing people, and I was afraid of hurting her with my dummy words, therefore I was walking with tongue-tied. The only one who was jabbering was Soo.
At night, as I went out of the school to go back home, my sight tripped on a black car next to which Rena was standing with a young man who was wearing a casket and a black mask covering his face, which prevented me from identifying his features. Rena introduced us (me and Soo) to the young man who was her elder brother. He came to pick her up home for the first time since we got to know her. Soo bowed to the guy and I was silent. Rena suggested joining her to go back home in her brother's car. I called my mother to ask for permission and she allowed me.
Rena sat on the front seat next to her brother and we (Soo and I) sat behind them in the back seats. The atmosphere in the car was pretty annoying until Soo decided to break the silence condoling the young man for the death of his young brother but he preferred to stay silent and so did I.
I looked through the window, staring at the streetlights and the students going back home with their parents, and then I suddenly dozed off to wake up as the car parked next to our building. We stepped out of the car. Soo was talking non-stop as usual when we got to the building. The three of them headed to the elevator and I decided to take the stairs. That made my dear friend Soo ask me about the reason that made me take the stairs instead and I could not tell her that I was shy of Rena's elder brother so I moved on.
I heard her saying:" You, dummy eccentric!!!" I smiled without replying, therefore she added: "Hey, listen, tomorrow is the weekend, let's go for a picnic...the three of us."
I turned around towards her when suddenly, my glances met Rena's brother's glances, I felt that I was looking at the eyes of the prince of Goguryeo, but I quickly changed the direction of my gaze answering Soo, "I do not feel like going out. I think that I prefer to stay home; I would like to draw something."
Then I went upstairs.
"You are so boring, girl," Soo said.
I did not reply.
Then I went upstairs.
"You are so boring, girl," Soo said.
I did not reply.
The eyes of that young man were still moored in my mind when my mother opened the door for me to get in, then she turned back to continue reading a book. My father was in his room, I exchanged a few words with my mother, then headed to my room immediately.
I changed my clothes and lay down in the bed trying to sleep. Again, and as every night I drowned in the river, nothing had changed neither the place nor the features of me reflecting my pain. No one was there to offer a helping hand, no one rescued me, then I woke up at 2 am.
A horrible sore throat
attacked me, I felt like someone had ignited a fire in my throat. My body was burning because of the fever, and that was not uncommon. I prepared a hot tea with lemon to calm that fire in my throat. My parents were drowning in a deep sleep. I went back to my room, covered my hair with a blue scarf, put a blanket on my body, and then went to the balcony.
There, I stood observing the movement of vehicles that would never stop. I saw a man reeling in his gait holding a bottle of wine. He had just left a nightclub, I thought.
Two half-naked girls had just joined him. Their loud laughs were filling the air with excessive noise. I suddenly, heard a voice of a crying woman, a screaming voice of a man, and another man's voice that was calming down the woman warmly inside Rena's house. Then I heard a door slam. After that a shadow appeared on their balcony, I turned my sight towards the shadow which looked at me in shyness or maybe with eyes that carried a deep pain, but that did not prevent him from approaching saying, "It is life!"
I nodded in silence.
I put my hands around the cup whose steam was evaporating slowly. The shadow's glances were pointed at the cup then moved slowly to look at my face.
"Are you always silent like this? "He asked calmly.
"An ancient tomb," I answered with a husky voice.
He smiled.
"Did you recognize me? " he asked.
I nodded, and then added looking at the half-naked girls in the street, "Yes, I knew it was you as we entered the building; the lights were so strong, so it was not hard for me to recognize you."
"But the other girl seemed not to know who I am."
I was about to tell him that was because she did not focus on his features as I do, but then I changed my mind.
"So, you are the elder brother who bought a house?" I said.
He answered looking at the two girls with a vague look in his eyes, "The superstar…"