Two months go by, and Torson's condition seems to worsen by the day. Then, finally, he got the time to know the names of the royals and some of their ages. Avi is two years older than Torson, who is currently 13. That means she's 15. The prince is 22 years old. The Queen's name is Golia, and the King's name is Sikha.
Days go by, and he starts to get scars out of nowhere. His isolation from seeing anyone except the royals began getting to him. He would start seeing things that weren't there. At this point, he wasn't seeing them very often, but when he did, he was terrified. He couldn't even scream for help because he knew who would come to his isolated room to sort out the matter. And to be fair, it won't even solve an inch of the problem. It would just make things worse.
One day, no one bothered him. Not even to feed him. He realizes the royals are having a party, and everyone is too busy preparing for the guests to check on their 'beloved' child.
Now, Starving was the least of his problems. His being alone was the most he could ask for. He started hearing loud music from upstairs, but that didn't bother him much. He laid down on his back, staring at his room. Thinking. While staring, he thought about his life and how meaningless it had become. Then, he wakes up, gets forced to do work, and is fed, which isn't an excellent experience overall. The food wasn't pleasant at all.
TORSON POV
Have you ever sat back and taken a good look at your life? That's what I was doing for a couple of hours. When you are in that deep place where nothing can interrupt you. When you get there, it is initially a great place to be. But when you stay there for too long, you get these thoughts. Thoughts that you don't get all the time. It all starts when you are in that position and won't even move a muscle. When you reach that point of no return, memories come rushing through. First, the feeling is neutral. You think of the people you miss and the good times you had. Then there's that pause. You don't notice it. This is where your feelings start being 'toxic.' You think of the things that life has put you in. You think of how much you have tried to make things work, but it always does not go as planned. This is when you analyze your life, trying to avoid all the good stuff. After this, you begin thinking of what the future holds. Your predictions won't be pretty. After all of that thinking, you start to question life. You begin to get all these voices telling you to end your life—suicidal thoughts. The feeling is fantastic. You begin to feel something in your chest that you enjoy. It feels perfect when you do this a couple of hundred times. Then after you get used to it, it comes naturally. You become sad for no reason. You get mad faster. Even your thoughts can make you angry. Eventually, you stop caring about your health and what happens to you because, well, what's the point? This cycle of pain is just going to continue again and again. No one's going to help you. No one understands you to the point that you need them to. Their advice does not satisfy you. Everybody tries to give you excuses to avoid the problem, not solve it. Of course, it works. But the effect is temporary. I don't know if that's being stubborn, but who knows? But the feeling is nice, though. It feels nice to be sad. At that point, you start not showing your emotions because you love how it feels to be sad and alone. So why stop the feeling? You want to be alone most of the time. You do not want to see anyone. This is just a way for your brain to trap you even deeper into your thoughts, making it easier to kill yourself. It's a way to push you over. I see it as a reward, to be honest. I finally get to experience what I have been thinking of doing since forever. It's a lovely feeling. You start to not even talk anymore because what's ... the ... point. But why don't I end it already? What is it that's not working? What's keeping you alive is fear. You don't know what's going to happen after you die. Are you just going to end up in this place where you watch clips of what would've happened if you didn't give up so quickly on life and manage your regret for the rest of eternity? Other people are more optimistic about just ending their books than others. But there... I said it. I'm afraid. On second thought, though, I do not care anymore. This last bit of pain will probably be the least painful compared to what I've experienced.
"NOOOOOOO!!!!" Avi shouts as she runs to him and takes the knife away from Torson. She throws the blade at the wall. Crying. The Queen runs to Avi. Torson is too shocked to feel anything happening to him at the moment.
"Avi, what's the matter? Why are you crying?" The Queen asks worriedly.
"Nooo!" Avi repeats herself.
"Avi, what is it!?" The Queen tries to sound more demanding. Avi then takes the knife and makes body gestures telling The Queen that Torson is about to kill himself. The Queen shifts her head to Torson and then turns to the mirror on the wall. She sees dried blood on the wall. She then turns to Torson and sees deep, long cuts on his arms, face, and legs. She then takes a look at the mirror again to see her reflection.
"Come on, Avi, let's go..." says the Queen as she walks out of the room holding Avi by the hand. Torson feels some screeching voices telling him to look at the room's entrance; he sees the King's eyes in the shadows. This sends a shockwave to Torson. The King sees Torson see him, so he quickly moves out of sight. The door closes. There's silence once more.