I have been imprisoned here for over a year. I've even lost hope of ever escaping here. It's funny how one thing led to another. Some wouldn't call this imprisonment, though.
My body has become weaker by the day. I have rings around my eyes. It's even become a regular thing that sometimes I cannot breathe. I can't move most of my body parts. I have to be fed by people to survive. Instead of letting the servants do the job, the royals come to feed me to make that experience even worse.
Though there are a lot of negatives going on, I do enjoy seeing Avi. Though I am in pain when I am near her, she does give off a friendly atmosphere. I feel safe when I'm around her. We do not talk for obvious reasons, but when our eyes meet, it feels extraordinary.
I have noticed that each royal emits a different type of pain on me ... or should I say 'effect on me.' Avi has that pain that is intense, but I love it. I'm not saying it does not damage me, but it's the one I enjoy the most out of everyone. The Queen has that burning sensation. Vomiting, cramps, etc. She's something else—the prince. By the way, I'm talking about Prince Ama. Not that backstabbing asshole, Elmar. We weren't friends, but that was indeed the shittiest thing a person could ever do to someone. Anyways, back to Prince Ama. I haven't had many visits to say what damage he's doing. All I can say is it feels like I'm being shocked by electricity, like the stinging type. But I don't worry about him often because he's not always around. I don't know what he's up to, and I don't want to know either. The King is one of the worst pain I have ever endured—something I would experience in my nightmares. I would rather have nightmares than be near him. I can't breathe. I cough and vomit out actual blood. I become paralyzed sometimes. I black out randomly. You know, the list goes on. I'm telling you, he's not someone I enjoyed being with. He was generous enough to get me those breathing things at the hospital. The one that connects to a tube thingy... this is not science, I don't know, okay. He got me that so we can at least have a decent conversation.
No one knows I'm being held captive here. No one knows that my parents are long gone. I know this because I hear them reporting my parents and me missing to the King, asking them to do something about it. They didn't do anything about the matter because, hello, they are the cause of it. Technically I'm the cause, but they murdered my parents and held me captive. They can't let me go because they need me; only God knows why.