Theodora told me that I could always summon my element, wherever I am. But there was something in the wooden boards that covered the windows of the house that prevented the wind that I summoned from entering the house. And not having my element where to get magic from, I was doomed.
I dodged the werewolves' blows but there was always one or two more behind me to hold me down while their partner punched some part of my body. And to be honest, that brought back memories of my childhood, of Mark hitting me as a child. Thanks to that I developed a kind of resistance to pain that no child should develop. That's why I took the hits pretty well.
The raven wanted to help me.
"Fight," it told me. "I'll give you my energy. Fight."
"No," I said. "Not again."
"You have to defend yourself."
"I'm very angry," I said. "I'll take too much and I won't be able to stop until I destroy the entire house. I can't."
A blow to my face distracted me from my talk with the raven and made me lose my balance, I fell to the ground and felt the blood come out of my nose and drip around my mouth.
"I told you so" a werewolf said to Mark. "The enchanted boards would suffice. Apparently she's afraid to use dark magic again."
I glanced at Mark out of the corner of my eye and saw him roll his eyes. "I didn't think she was such a coward. I guess I overestimated her."
"Use me," the raven cried. "Use me. Use me. Use me. Use me. Use me."
And then, helplessly, I scrambled to my feet and grabbed the werewolf who had talked to Mark by the neck. The raven's talons grew on the hand that held his neck, dug into his flesh, and I tightened my grip. I withdrew my hand to the side forcefully ripping the werewolf's windpipe who bled out before falling limp to the ground.
The other werewolves looked at me with wide eyes in surprise and growled furiously, but oddly enough, they no longer moved forward to strike me. They stayed in place in a defensive position.
I looked at them and smiled. "What's wrong? Now you are nott manly enough to hit me, huh?" I approached one of them and faced him. "Are you afraid?" He growled at me, I widened my smile. "You should. The next shithead that touches me I will rip out more than just their windpipe."
Celia came running, she must've sensed the wolf's death. Her eyes were teary and her lower lip was trembling. When she saw the dead werewolf on the ground she began to sob, she dropped to her knees beside him and hugged his corpse as if it was the only thing she wanted to do in her life.
I looked up from her and saw Beom looking at the scene, he looked horrified. He returned my gaze and his eyes sent me a clear message. "You have no idea what you just did."
A few minutes passed before Celia let go of the body. She let her wolves take him and take him away, she stayed on the ground for a few seconds until she stood up and with a fleeting movement of his hand she took me by the neck and squeezed hard. I started to gag, I grabbed her arm with the raven claws and ripped the muscle in her arm making it bleed. She released me with a howl of pain. "Fucking bitch!" She shouted.
I felt the raven flap its wings, ready for battle. But I told it to back off. I told it that I wasn't gonna take magic from it for now.
Celia looked at me with bright red eyes. Then she looked at Beom. "Bring me the child."
"No!" I screamed. "Your problem is with me."
"Oh, of course it is." She said with a lisp thanks to the fangs growing in her mouth. She looked at me. "But I need you alive for now. That's why I'll resort to 'an eye for an eye'." She approached me and pointed her claw at the pool of blood left by the werewolf's corpse on the ground. "You killed my brother. I'll kill yours. And so my rage will calm down enough to keep you alive for a few more hours."
I was going to respond when she diverted her attention from me to dedicate it to Beom. She walked up to him and faced him. "Bring me the child."
And Beom remained unchanged. "No."
Celia raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
"I won't bring you the child because he is just that, a child."
Then Celia burst out laughing. "And you come to talk to me about it," she said, laughing. "You are the least likely to care who you kill. Or have you forgotten why you are here?" Beom looked at her without showing any expression on his face and that seemed to irritate her more. She grabbed his neck, her claws pressing into his skin but, to my surprise, they couldn't break through his skin. "Bring me the child, now. Or our deal ends here and now."
Then Beom took off his plaster mask and gave Celia a lopsided smile full of arrogance. He caught the outstretched wrist to his neck and squeezed, unloading a wave of dark magic that caused Celia burning, stinging pain. Celia released him and Beom placed a hand on her chest. "So be it." And he pushed.
He sent Celia flying by making her go through walls until she collides with one of her wolves in the next room. "Like you said," he yelled at Celia in the other room. "The deal is over." He walked over to me quickly and took my hand.
Seconds later we were in a clearing in the woods. The full moon was rising above us.
"Stay alert." He warned me. He stood next to me watching my sides. "They'll come for us."
And my first instinct was to call my Alpha, ask for him help and my pack's. But then I realized that this was all my fault, this whole war was because I couldn't ignore my father's miserable presence and I had to attack him. And now I had murdered my enemy Alpha's brother, this war had escalated to even higher levels than I would've liked.
"We have to kill them," Beom told me as if he had read my mind. "If we don't, they'll come back again and again. They'll come back for you and the boy. For your pack. For me." And the last thing he said it in a low voice.
I looked at him. "They won't, they won't touch us. We'll get rid of them," and then, I couldn't help but ask something that had been on my mind since we left the house. "The deal Celia mentioned…"
"No," he told me. "I told you I wasn't going to talk about it."
"She implied that…you had killed people and that's why you were with them. Were they protecting you? Was that the deal she was talking about?"
Beom looked at me annoyed. "I have to protect myself, raven. I'm not like you. I don't have a pack. I don't have anyone to back me up. I can't just blurt out private information," he turned his gaze back to the forest. "I'm not going to talk about this with you. Stop asking already."
And I wanted to tell him that he didn't have to be alone, that we could help him. That I could help him. But I couldn't force him to do something he didn't want, nor could I impose my ideas on him. I had to respect his desire for lonelyness even though I didn't like that at all.
Suddenly, we heard the paws hitting the ground hard as they ran towards us. We got on our guard and waited for the wolves.
When they arrived, they stalked us from the darkness of the trees. A large white wolf approached with its eyes glowing red. It was Celia. She growled furiously at us and prepared to attack. The wolves around her imitated her surrounding us.
"You have enough room here to summon your element, right?" Beom told me under his breath.
I look at him askance. "How did you know I'm using light magic?"
"Oh, come on. I'm a warlock, I feel these things. You do unconsciously too."
The wolves growled and bared their fangs.
Beom let the tiger roar in his chest and let its black stripes cover his body, his eyes lit up blue and electric. Blue fire coursed through his veins, illuminating them a neon color. The first wolf to rush at him, Beom had landed a punch in the snout that ended up ripping his head off.
I saw how two more wolves approached him from behind, I summoned the wind with my arms and waved them like a saber towards them. A sharp current of wind sliced them in half as they leaped toward Beom.
I felt one of them look at me and I raised my arms to the sky covering me and Beom with a whirlwind, protecting us from any attack. And then we heard them.
My pack. They were running to where we were. I saw Celia's eyes flash and she growled in the direction they were coming from. The two remaining wolves from her pack ran toward them.
"They're going towards them!" I yelled at Beom. "They're going to Sam!"
Beom's blue eyes twinkled. "How about you?"
"I'll take care of this bitch," I said turning to Celia. "You go and protect my brother."
Then Beom ran after the wolves, riding through the whirlwind with ease.
When he left, I undid the whirlwind and faced Celia. He crouched down and growled at me, showing me her fangs.
"I hope an Alpha is harder than the others," I told her. "Or maybe your wolves were too weak."
Celia raised her head to the sky, to the moon. She howled a song of war and agony that grumbled across the land. I felt a little sorry for her for at least five seconds, then I remembered that she wanted to kill Sam and I got over with it.
The white wolf lunged at me, her mouth open, her fangs glinting in the moonlight. I made as if to raise my hand to send her flying but her claws appeared quickly to the side of my face, I dodged her and threw myself to the ground. I rolled on the grass avoiding the Alpha's body who landed less than a meter from me. She began to snap at me, I crawled backwards, avoiding each one. The raven insisted on fighting, on using it and fighting. And I kept saying no.
I lifted one leg and kicked her head accompanied by the sharp wind. I cut off her ear and she screamed in pain. I stood up and started waving my arms at her throwing wind sabers at her body. Celia dodged everyone with grace and speed, I could only see a white blur dodging all my attacks. Then I heard a little voice in my head that was not the crow, but a more unpleasant one. It told me that light magic was no longer enough. That it would never be. That the wind and nature would never give me the power I needed for this. That I needed more.
The raven cried: "Yes!"
And I screamed: "No!"
I kept invoking the wind, some ravens appeared around me. They circled around the Alpha but never attacked, they waited for my command, the raven's command.
Celia jumped at me and I put my hands in front of me, a wall of compressed air pushed her out of my way and sent her crashing into a tree. She fell to the grass stunned, it was my chance. Look at the moon and let its light and its magic consume me. I felt the feathers, the legs, the beak, the wings. I jumped and the wind suspended me in the air, I turned until I lost myself in the raven and…
I am a raven.
Bad Alpha. It is on the floor. Stunned.
I fly towards her.
I attack her other eye. I pierce it. I tear it off.
I eat it.
I fly away from her and...
I am a witch.
I'm Gia.
I returned.
Celia was blind and bleeding. She screamed in pain and before she could make a move, she swung both arms at the same time throwing two crossed wind sabers towards her. And unable to dodge them, my wind cut the Alpha to pieces.
I was breathing heavily as I saw Celia's remains on the ground, the pieces of meat and white fur dripping blood onto the grass. Even so, I didn't take my eyes off them, for fear that by some miracle they would unite again and the wolf would come back to life. But it didn't happen.
I breathed out heavily and felt my legs shake. I looked towards where Beom and the wolves had gone, towards my pack. I ordered my legs to stop shaking, that they had to run towards them, towards Sam. But they didn't seem to want to listen to me. Even so, I walked as fast as I could between the trees until I reached them.
Then I heard the howl. It was not the an Alpha's howl. It wasn't Jasper's howl. It was the one of mine's howl . It was Henry. And his howl was so full of sadness, fury, agony.
My legs stopped shaking instantly, I felt a lump in my throat and how my heart turned over. I felt like a wave of terror spread through my back, enhancing all my senses. I ran as fast as I could.
And when I arrived, the scene in front of me was the beginning of my end.
The pack were surrounding someone on the ground, they were all human and naked. To one side was the corpse of a wolf. It wasn't one of mine. Then there was Beom away from the pack but not too far. Sam was close to Beom but not too close, he was looking at someone in front of him with attention and… fear. I approached where the others were, Oliver felt my presence and turned to me. The relief in his eyes was more than evident and I thought he would hug me, but instead he stepped aside so I could see the situation. The pack surrounded Henry on the ground holding a corpse, it was Jamie. In his chest was a bleeding hole.
And before them, his hands and mouth bathed in blood, was Mark. In his hands was Jamie's heart with a piece missing. There was a bite mark on the organ and traces of something at the corners of Mark's mouth. When he looked at me, he smirked with a triumphant air. "Eye for an eye." He told me.
And I saw red.
I didn't feel it at first, actually I think I didn't feel it afterwards either. I only knew that a great and orgasmic amount of dark and heavy power was consuming me from within. Things were flying around us, my pack moved away from me giving me space. I heard Sam's voice telling me to stop, that I would hurt myself but I couldn't do that. I was too angry. I felt feathers on my face, I felt the pain of the bones in my hands breaking and reforming into what were to be the raven's talons, and I thought I would feel the beak, but I didn't. Instead I felt fangs. Big, sharp fangs growing under my gums.
I looked at Mark and he was looking at me with the same look he had given me as a child after my first shift. He was proud of me. He was terrified.
I appeared in front of him who seemed to be paralyzed with fear because he turned pale, letting Jamie's heart fall to the ground. Slowly raised my hands (claws) to his neck and holded him gently. I wished with all my being that he would suffer, that he would rot from the inside out and feel at least half the pain that Jamie's death had caused us, and even though I knew he had suffered before because of Rogers' death, I didn't care at all.
Mark's neck began to turn coal black under my hands (claws) and he began to scream in agony. He writhed, blood dripping from his eyes and from his ears, then from his mouth and from his nose. "Jamie," I said in a strange voice. "Jamie."
And Mark managed to say, "Ethan."
"Jamie!" I yelled.
And one of my hands (claws) left his neck and went to his chest. I pushed it away, and with the strength of the wolf blood in me I pushed my hand (claw) through the skin, the flesh, the bones, until it reaches the heart. I took it and felt it beat. Mark's eyes widened and his eyes glowed yellow. "Please," he said. "Gia. My little girl."
"Fuck you."
I pulled my hand from his chest with force along with his heart. Mark's body fell limp to the ground, his eyes still glowing yellow, he still had a second or two to live. And in those two seconds, I took his heart to my mouth and took a bite without taking my eyes off his. When they went out, I swallowed. And when I swallowed, I felt it.
A painful throb rumbled in my chest. I heard the raven screaming in pain in my head, or maybe it was me who was screaming, or maybe both. An intense and stabbing pain spread throughout my body to the center of my chest, the magic wanted to come out of me, to explode. The raven begged me to stop taking, that I was going to die. I yelled at it that I wasn't doing anything, that I wasn't taking magic.
I fell to my knees on the ground and wrapped my arms around my body. I felt presences approaching me and the whirlwind appeared out of nowhere around me, protecting me. I looked up and saw my pack trying to break through the wind barrier but without success. I saw Oliver turn and crash into the whirlwind that ended up sending him flying and crashing into a tree. I saw Sam scream and approach the windbreak, but Annabel hugged him from behind to stop him, she was looking at me with teary eyes. Beom was looking at me with a frown, as if he was trying to figure out what was happening to me.
"Help!" Yelled the raven. "Please help!"
"I'm sorry," I said. "I'm so sorry."
And the more anguish and guilt I felt, the worse the pain, the greater the magic, the greater the pain. Tears began to roll down my cheeks and the pain became so intense that for a second I thought about dying. I raised my eyes to the moon and begged for peace, for relief... for death.
And then he arrived.
"Blue," the raven said suddenly. "Help me, Blue."
I looked at Oliver but he was still trying to get through the whirlwind. And suddenly, I felt a pair of arms hugged me from behind. They hugged me tight and gently. Whoever it is pressed their face against my cheek and whispered in my ear, "Calm down. Everything is fine," his voice was deep, hoarse and relaxing. "It's not your fault. You are not alone. Everybody loves you."
I felt a wave of tranquility and light spread in the black hole that was inside me. I felt how all the chaos and pain slowly vanished, as the feathers, the fangs and the claws disappeared. My body relaxed at the touch of him, the scent of him, he smelled like a rainy day. I didn't realize when the whirlwind disappeared and all the chaos around me went with it. I felt that person's hand affectionately pressed against my forehead and how tiredness took control over me. I let my head fall back onto his shoulder.
"That's it, you're fine now," he cooed in my ear. "Everyone is here. Your family. They love you so much," he squeezed his hug a little more and whispered. "I love you so much."
And a terror almost as intense as the one I felt when I heard Henry howl numbed my chest, and he felt it. "Don't go," I told him. "Don't go please. Don't go."
"Okay, okay," he said softly. "I'll stay until you wake up. I won't leave you."
He left a kiss on my temple and I felt faint. I didn't want to sleep, I wanted to tell him to stay with me long after I woke up. Because that person had done something extraordinary with me, he had so easily stopped what I couldn't stop since I was a child. He had managed to stop me feeling afraid, he had managed to make me feel safe.
But I couldn't stay awake because I was so tired and his voice in my ear felt so good that…
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
What happened after that I always associated it with a strange lucid dream. Although after a few years I would know that it wasn't a dream at all.
In the dream I wasn't myself. I was the raven. Or the raven was me.
The raven was walking with my legs, breathing with my lungs, touching and grasping things with my hands, talking with my vocal chords, tasting things with my tongue, hearing things with my ears, seeing the world with my eyes.
The raven possessed my body and did things.
Among them, talking to my pack. It told them that I had been benched because I was grounded for putting my own life at risk. It told them that I would be away for a while while I recovered and that it would take care of my body, that it wouldn't let anyone touch me and had looked specifically at Oliver.
Another thing the raven did was talk to Sam. It had found him looking out the window into the woods with a wistful expression. It had asked him what he was thinking and Sam hadn't wanted to tell him at first, but when he saw his sister's face he couldn't help it. He told the raven that he was confused, that the tiger was gone and he didn't know if he should be grateful or not. Sam had seen Beom as the bad guy who came to take his sister away, but then he ended up being the warlock who saved them from the bad wolves.
The raven told him that soon he would be able to find that answer easier for himself. That the moment would come when he would be old enough to judge people with his own criteria and that only at that moment he would be able to decide if the tiger is one of the good ones or not.
Sam had looked at the raven in astonishment, he had nodded and thanked it.
The last thing the raven did was go talk to that person. He had fulfilled his promise. He had stayed around the territory until he was sure that I was okay. The raven had found him admiring a lake. It had thanked him for helping me and that it was looking forward to seeing him again. That person was a light warlock, he was my other Blue. I don't quite remember his appearance through the crow's eyes, but I remember that his slanted eyes were a light and intense blue and that his pupils were vertically slit like those of snakes.
The warlock told the raven that he would leave because I wasn't yet ready to face the double path. That he would wait patiently until I am.
And then everything went black.