When I woke up it was snowing.
I felt that a thick and warm blanket sheltered me in bed. The heater was on, and as expected, Sam was sleeping next to me.
When I turned to see him... I was surprised to see that he no longer had the face of a child. He no longer had plump cheeks and smooth features. His face was more streamlined and less…childish.
He slowly opened his eyes, they were still the same bright black eyes I remembered. But his look was no longer that of an innocent child who has just met the world, he had the look of a boy who had seen things that had made him mature.
Still, when he saw me open my eyes, he didn't look at me with the joy and relief I expected. He looked at me with skeptical eyes, as if he wasn't sure who I was.
"Sammy?" I said.
And then he gave me a smile so radiant and full of happiness that I thought he would cry. He hugged me tightly, I complained about the pain and he moved away a little but not too much.
"It's you," he said. "Finally, it's you."
"Of course it's me. Why wouldn't I?" And then I focused on the most important thing. I took him by the face and looked at him, without a doubt he had grown. "What happened? Why did you grow up? How long was I asleep?"
Sam looked at me with sad eyes. "You were asleep for three years."
"What!?"
"Jamie died, remember?"
Oh right. Jamie had died. I nodded slowly.
"Well…we buried Jamie behind the house. He's got a tombstone and everything. You…you lost control of your magic when he died and you did a lot of damage to yourself. You slept all this time because you were healing, nature was healing you. Or at least that's what Theodora said."
"But three years… that's a long time. Was it that bad?"
He agreed with a gloomy look on his face that I didn't like at all. "You had…a lot of internal injuries. The wolf and magic are not compatible so…it was like they were both fighting inside you and destroying everything around them."
"The wolf? What are you talking about? I'm not a wolf."
"When you…ate Mark's heart…it awakened one of the more primitive wolf instincts within you, which is why your wolf blood kicked in for a few minutes."
I was speechless. I had never imagined that something like that could cause this catastrophe. In fact, until that moment I hadn't known that wolf blood and magic weren't compatible. But if so then...
"If that's the case then why are we okay? If magic and wolves aren't compatible…Sam, how are you and I even possible?"
He looked at me as if I had come to the same conclusion as the rest of the world. He smiled at me a little tired, as if instead of being thirteen he was forty. "I don't know. I guess we're miracles."
No, there was more there. There was more context that we had to discover, we had to dig deep into the lineage of wolves and witches. Because it couldn't be possible that Sam and I exist if what they said about magic and wolves was correct. And there was plenty of evidence that it was, because if it wasn't I wouldn't have been about to die.
I put the subject aside and focused on Sam. His voice sounded deeper than before. I thought about the years that he had passed without me, I worried a little but not too much, because I knew that I had the pack.
"How have you been all this time?" I asked. "What about the others? Where are they?"
Sam nodded. "The others are at their jobs. Leon at school. Lily at college."
I smiled. "Really? Cool."
"She's studying to be a doctor."
My smile widened. "Even cooler," then I remembered something important and my smile faded. "Why aren't you at school?"
He rolled his eyes. "I decided not to go today."
"But you're going to school, right?"
"Yes," he said a little annoyed. "Don't worry about that."
"Okay. So why didn't you go today?"
He looked at me. "Because it's your birthday. I wanted to be with you."
I looked at him surprised and blinked a few times. "Is my what?"
"Today is December 12th. It's your birthday."
It was my twenty-first birthday. But if it was December 12th that meant… "Sammy, your birthday was three days ago."
"I'm fourteen now." He said puffing out his chest as if he was already a man.
"Fourteen? Aren't you thirteen? Hasn't it been three years since…? You know." He nodded. I saw him take a breath to speak but I put a hand on his face, stopping him. "Wait, okay. Don't tell me. Too much math for me. I'll take your word for it."
He smiled. "Happy Birthday."
I smiled back. "Happy birthday to you too."
"My birthday is over."
"Yes, but I wasn't around at the time to tell you." I hugged him and threw him on the bed with me, he complained for a second but he hugged me back.
We stayed there for a few more minutes. Sam told me that the magic had preserved my body well and that's why my muscles hadn't atrophied and I could move my body without any problem. He said Theodora helped with that too, that she came every day to check on me and make sure I was healing well.
"I'll have to thank her later." I said as I got out of bed and got dressed.
Sam nodded. Something caught his attention and he stood still for a second, listening. Then he smiled and looked at me. "Grace is home."
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When I went downstairs to the kitchen, Grace gave me the same look as Sam. Skeptical. After a few seconds she smiled as if she had seen the most beautiful thing in the world. She walked towards me with open arms and held me in a hug so warm and motherly that it melted me inside. She held me in her arms for a few seconds, I let her do it.
When she let me go, she looked at me fondly. "You're a grown woman now, I'm sure you were very surprised when you woke up. Happy birthday darling."
And the truth is that I wasn't. I didn't feel like I was twenty-one years old. I was used to being seventeen. The years weren't very evident on me, at least not when I looked in the mirror earlier. Maybe I was a little taller and my breasts had grown a little, my face lost a little weight too. Still, the three years were just words to me even though I had the proof in front of me when I saw Sam.
I smiled. "Thank you Grace."
"Are you hungry? I'll make you breakfast." And she walked straight to the toaster.
Sam was already pouring two cups of coffee. Obviously he had grown up, but I never thought he would be taller than me at his age. If he kept up like this, he would be a giant at my age. He handed me a cup of coffee and we sat at the bar. We talked about what had happened during these years.
Grace told me that Leon and Sam were opposite poles at school. She said that Sam was very dedicated to his studies while Leon failed every day.
Lily had decided to go to college because she said it was what I would've wanted for her, to keep going no matter what. And she was right.
Asher had graduated from college and was now an art professor at Yeil College.
Henry…had had a hard time. Jamie's death destroyed him. They were best friends since they were kids. But he managed to pull himself together and started working in a mechanical workshop.
And Oliver… well, Oliver was the same as always. He had left school a long time ago, since before we met. Now Owen had given him a job at his company as an intern because he had been quite annoying those days.
"He was very affected by what happened to you," Grace said. "Everyone, actually. But Oliver…it was different for him. You know why."
I knew why.
"Adding the fact of the appearance of the third in discord." Sam added.
Grace scolded him with a look. I look at him strangely. "What are you taking about?"
He looked at me sideways. "You don't remember?" I shook my head and he sighed. "The warlock who came to help you when…you almost exploded. Theodora said he was part of your double track or something."
"Double path," I said under my breath, correcting him. "Where is he?"
"He's gone. He's been gone for years," Sam said. And I must've made a strange face because he was alarmed when he saw me and hastened to add. "But he said he'd come back in the future. When you're ready."
"Ready for what?"
He shrugged and went back to his coffee.
"Ready to die." I told myself. Because there was no way in the world that Oliver was going to kill me. Not with the way he looked at me, the way he touched me, the way he talked to me. Fuck, not with the way I was looking at him. And then I wondered how much Oliver had changed in these three years. I had an urgent and surprising desire to see him.
Then, as if I summoned him, Oliver came home. And what happened to everyone so far happened. He gave me a skeptical look that I would have to dig into later because this was already getting ridiculous, and then his eyes flashed yellow. He practically ran to me and hugged me tight, he lifted me off the ground and pulled me against his body. I hugged him back and smiled against his shoulder. "Someone missed me a lot." I said joking. But he didn't answer. He stood there, hugging me in the middle of the kitchen for a few minutes. I didn't try to push him away, on the contrary, I liked having him close to me, feeling his scent and his warmth.
When he released me he did so reluctantly because he heard Sam's soft growl. I glanced at my brother who looked away from me immediately feigning innocence. I looked back at Oliver and looked at him. The years had favored him, the features of his face were more mature, more adult. His shoulders were wider as were his arms, it made me want to run my hands on them. I didn't do it. Instead, I smiled at him.
"How have you been?" I asked.
He smiled tight-lipped, as if he was suppressing the radiant smile it was fighting to get out of him. "Fine…I think. I missed you. A lot."
I wanted to tell him that I had missed him too, but there was no point. For me time didn't pass at all. "I've been told you're working with Owen, even though you haven't graduated which sounds illegal but I won't meddle."
And he laughed. God, how he laughed. "Fuck, I missed you so much."
And I smiled even more.
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By the time night fell, everyone else had returned home except for Lily. She lived in the college dormitories, but when she found out that I woke up she called me instantly and she told me that she would take the first bus home first thing tomorrow morning.
Everyone's reaction tended to be the same as the previous three, but it wasn't because Sam or Grace always jumped in and said, "Gia's back."
Leon smiled and jumped on me to hug me. He wasn't taller than Sam but he was taller than me. He almost knocked me to the ground when he was in my arms.
Annabel cried and kissed me roughly on the lips. Oliver growled at her. I laughed and let her be.
Jasper hugged me and kissed my head.
Owen and Asher squeezed my shoulders and put their foreheads against mine.
Henry hugged me tight and cried a bit too.
I missed Jamie. I went to see his headstone in the backyard. I sat in front of it and talked to Jamie wherever he was. I told him that I was back, that I was very sorry. I cried and curled up in front of my friend's grave. I told him that I wish we would run and jump more high branches on full moons. I told him that I would miss him forever.
Theodora came to dinner. Apparently they had already brought her up to date because when she saw me she gave me a big smile full of relief.
Dinner that night was balsamic for everyone. Even though Jamie and Lily weren't there, the pack felt a little better, or so Jasper had commented. He said that losing two of his own destroyed him, but that his anchor was always those who were still standing. And now that I had woken up he felt that things could improve with time.
And I knew what he was talking about, but I still had things on my mind. My mother, for example, and the vision of her not at all reassuring about her that I had had years before. And not mentioning to the warlock that was meant to kill me, saying that he would come back when I was ready. I wondered how much Theodora had told the others about my double path. Did they know that the warlock was destined to kill me?
I asked Theodora about it before she left and she told me that she had only mentioned that the warlock and Oliver were important parts of my life. "We don't know which of the two is your murderer. Don't assume things ahead of time." She warned me.
"Oliver will never hurt me." I said.
Theodora smiled but didn't answer. She left me with words in my mouth and many things to think about.
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That night, before going to sleep, Oliver knocked on my door.
When I opened it I saw him put on a serious and a little nervous expression.
"Is everything alright?" I asked. He nodded and looked at me, his eyes glowing yellow. Then I smiled. "I miss blue, you know? Lately you're always anxious and all I see is yellow." I commented.
"Shut up," he said under his breath. "I'm...a little nervous, that's all."
I wanted to laugh but I didn't. "Nervous? Why?"
He looked at me, the yellow lighted up even more. He took air. "It's just… when Theodora told us about the double path of witches and then that guy came to help you when I couldn't… do anything," he growled angrily at himself when he said that. He took a deep breath and calmed down. "I've never felt so… useless before. You were there suffering and I couldn't… " He clenched his fists, I could see threads of blood escape between his fingers. I took his closed fist with my hand and tried to calm him down a bit. He opened his hand and his claws came out from inside his palm, his wounds healing quickly. He laced his fingers through mine slowly, always giving myself the chance to pull away, but I didn't. "And then you… you were in a coma for years and all I could do was wait for you to come back."
"I'm here," I said with a small voice. "I'm here. I'm back."
"Yes... you are."
And I don't know when or how it happened but out of nowhere we were so close that we could feel each other's breath. Neither of us moved, we just stayed like that for a few seconds. Until Oliver tightened his grip on his hand against mine and brought his face even closer. And I couldn't breathe, I felt the fear and terror of how real it all felt. I still didn't pull away, because it was Oliver. He was my wolf.
He kissed me. It was a soft and magical kiss. The feeling was so intense that it surprised the crow resting on my chest, it raised its head observing the surroundings.
His lips moved once and twice over mine, soft and slow. I took his face with my free hand and my skin vibrated to feel his under my fingertips. I felt his hand take me carefully from the waist and slowly pull me towards him. I got carried away and was attached to Oliver's body, kissing him slowly and enjoying the feeling of his lips against mine. A soft growl escaped his throat as I slipped my fingers into his hair and slid it down his neck, touching his neck gently with my thumb. We moved away a little but not too much, I looked into his eyes and his were still yellow but they shone like I had never seen before.
"We better stop now," he rested his forehead against mine. "It's very difficult for me to hold back."
I smiled. "Okay."
He let me go a little reluctantly which made me smile even more. He said goodnight to me and he left without letting go of my hand, our fingers separated when he was already a meter away from me with his arm outstretched. I laughed and that night I didn't sleep, I smiled at the ceiling of my room all night.
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"I have to talk to you about something." Sam told me the next morning.
I was making coffee. The others were at their jobs. Lily was on her way home. Leon and Sam didn't have school that day, so Leon decided to spend the day accompanying her mother to do the shopping in the city and help her with the bags.
Sam sat down in one of the bar seats, facing me. He put his hands on the bar and clenched his fists, lowering his head a little and frowning. He was nervous.
I paid attention to him. I left the coffee carafe in the coffee machine. "Everything is alright?"
He nodded, then he stopped and looked at me. "Don't know. That's the point."
I approached him and leaned on the bar. I put my arms on the bar and I propped me up on my elbows. I faced him. "What's wrong Sam?"
He sighed and brushed his thick black hair with his hand. "There's no easy way to say this, or maybe there is but… it's not easy for me. Which may sound stupid because we are in the 21st century and things have changed and it shouldn't be that hard…" he stopped. He took a breath and exhaled shakily. He stared at me and his eyes were yellow. "I think I don't like women the way I should."
I raised an eyebrow. "And how should you like women?"
"You know like… loving them romantically or…sexually." He blushed to the neck as he said the last. He was such an innocent child back then.
"Sammy, who the fuck told you that bulshit?"
"Boys from school."
"Well, fuck them. They don't know shit."
He smiled slightly. "I'm glad you think that," he squeezed his eyes shut. Then he opened them and his eyes were black again as always. "I think I'm gay."
"So you think?"
He shook his head and this time he looked at me more sure of himself. "I'm pretty sure I am. Yes, I'm gay."
And I smiled. Proud and happy. "Thanks for telling me, Sammy. You know that I love you no matter what, right?"
He nodded and dropped his shoulders releasing the tension. "The others don't know yet, so don't say anything. I wanted to tell you first."
"Okay," I said leaning into him and placing a kiss on his forehead. "And I also have something to tell you. It's something that's been around for a long time but I never told you," he looked at me expectantly and I smiled confidently. "I am bisexual."
He widened his eyes in surprise. "You are?"
I nodded. "I'm pretty sure I am."
"Why did you not tell me? I never saw you with a girl."
"I kept it a secret for a long time," I looked down and remembered what I had tried so hard to forget. "I was with a girl when I was fifteen. We actually dated for a year," Sam looked at me even more surprised. "But we broke up when I turned sixteen."
"Why?"
"She cheated on me with a guy, the captain of the soccer team."
"Bitch." He spited.
I let out a laugh. "Yeah, she was a bitch."
Sam smiled and I could see the fear and tension leave his face. "Thanks for telling me, Gia. You know that I love you no matter what, right?"
I smiled back and nodded.
We had breakfast together after that.
"You're awake," the raven said suddenly. "You're awake."
"Yes," I told him. "I am."
"She knows," it told me. "Be careful, she knows. She will come, she will come soon."
"Who? Who knows?"
The raven cried: "Nevermore."