* * *
Tonight, I was alone with my mother for the first time in a long time.
I mustered up the courage to speak to my mother first.
"mom. Are you okay now? excuse me… … ."
Seeing me hesitantly, Mom must have noticed what I wanted to say.
I want to do the next thing I did last time.
This is the first time I've spoken first, as my mother had suggested it to me before.
I didn't even think that my mother would refuse.
My mom listens to anything I ask for.
But Mom answered with a troubled face.
"I'm sorry, Seonhu. Mom and stuff like that now... Can we stop?"
Is this what the thunderbolt is like?
When I heard my mom say no, it was like the sky was falling.
"Why why… … Did you hate your mother?"
Do you hate doing things like that with me?
Or did you hate me
I was afraid to hear the answer.
But I couldn't help but ask.
"no. It's not like that... . Would you like to come and sit down for a minute?"
My mother seemed a little taken aback by my shock.
I sat in the seat next to me, as my mother ordered.
breathe slowly
Don't fret over this.
Because that would only disappoint my mother.
Mom held my hand as I was quietly shaking.
Mom's hands were still warm.
"You know that mom puts the first priority in everything, right?"
"… … huh."
"The reason my mother suggested such a thing to the seonhu at first was because she was worried that the seonhu might fall into a bad path. Do you remember what happened then?"
I nodded.
When I masturbated in my sister's panties and was caught by my mother.
While my mom scolded me for stealing my sister's panties (though I didn't actually steal them), she also suggested a solution to keep me from doing such a thing.
And for the first time, he even helped me masturbate.
It is an unforgettable day, the beginning of my relationship with my mother.
"The reason my mother made that suggestion at that time was because she thought it would be helpful for the seonhu. But now I wonder if this is really for the future."
"why… … ?"
"Mom loves the seonhu as they are right now, but I want the seonhu to be friendly with more people in the future. I want to see her not being afraid of people, talking and dating naturally."
Her mother's voice was serious.
I didn't feel the slightest falsehood.
I know very well what mom wants to talk about.
I want to change too.
I want to live like a normal person.
I want to be freed from this damn mental illness.
But what does that have to do with this?
Does loving my mother interfere with my treatment?
"I hope that the seonhu will bring a pretty girlfriend someday and introduce her to my mother. I want her to get married, have a happy family, and give her a cute grandchild. But in order to do that, she has to want to make her a girlfriend, right? It's because I don't think mom is taking that opportunity away. She might not be able to move forward if the seonhu are satisfied with her current state."
I could understand what my mother meant.
Obviously, if I can continue to have a good relationship with my mother, older sister, and younger brother, I will not need another girlfriend in my life.
But it shouldn't be.
Because what I want is not a girlfriend, but a mother.
"mom. Me, I don't think so."
"huh? At what point? Would you like to talk to your mother?"
I organized the thoughts that popped into my head.
How can I convince my mother?
It's bad to lie, but now more important things were at stake.
"A while ago at school, I was talking to a girl I didn't know."
"Oh my goodness. Is that true?"
Even if it's just a word or two.
Even if one person was dragged along the way.
Anyway, that was a conversation.
Mom was genuinely surprised by my words.
It is true that it has actually improved a lot. In the past, it was to the point that my body stiffened just by talking to someone I didn't know.
"huh. It's improved to the point where I can talk to people I don't know face to face. It's still a little scary, but not as painful as it used to be."
I put my other hand on my mother's hand holding mine.
"Thanks to my mother. I was able to change because her mother instilled confidence in me."
My mom thought our relationship was interfering with my therapy.
If that's the case, then I'll just have to claim that it helped me on the contrary.
"Aww, this guy. You speak well."
"It's true, Mom."
Mom hugged me like she couldn't stop. There were little tears in her eyes.
And I saw the opportunity and buried my face in my mother's chest.
I could feel my mother's scent strong. It's a scent that makes me happy.
"okay… … If what you said before and after is true, it's something to celebrate. Do you have anything you want to eat?"
"Mom, I would rather eat… … ."
I was speechless, but the meaning would have been conveyed.
Mom sighed deeply, as if to listen.
"really. How did I become such a naughty child? Should I be happy or sad about this... … ."
Even so, my mother did not separate me from burying my face in her chest.
Rather, he stroked the back of his head.
"But it's good. can you make a promise to mom? I will bring another girlfriend."
"that… … ."
It was a difficult condition.
You're my girlfriend... … Can I really date you?
… … Can't you bring a smile and call her girlfriend?
"It's not that I'm in a hurry. Mom says she did because she didn't stay in the same place before and after. I hope she tries to get better a little bit."
"… … huh. okay. I'll try."
"okay… … ."
And my mother took me out of her arms.
I could feel the lost warmth.
"Then, Seonhu, come to Mom's room in 10 minutes."
"in 10 minutes?"
"huh. Because mom needs to be prepared too."
"… okay. Then I'll be there in 10 minutes."
Mom got up and went into her room.
And I sat quietly in the living room and waited for the time to pass.
10 minutes.
only 10 minutes.
But these 10 minutes felt like the longest 10 minutes of my life.
Time is running out. The clock seemed to move particularly slowly today.
What does mom mean by preparation? It's okay if I'm not prepared.
… … Wouldn't it be better for me to brush my teeth first?
* * *
I stood in front of my mother's door nervous than before.
smart.
I knock on the door with trembling hands.
"mom. Can I come in?"
"huh. come in."
Only the light on the publication stand was on in the room.
Bathed in the light of the nightstand, my mother sat down on the bed and stared at me.
See-through black negligee.
I knew there were clothes like that in my mom's closet, but it was the first time I'd seen her wearing them.
Underneath was a negligee and small matching black panties. Her swollen breasts and nipples were still visible.
The only regret was that it was a bit dark and I couldn't see clearly.
"I am a little ashamed. Don't clothes like this suit your mother's age?"
"No Mom… So pretty."
The reflection of her mother in the light of the stand was so beautiful and enchanting.
I couldn't take my eyes off my mother.
"Whoops. thank you. Would you like to get into bed?"
I climbed into bed as my mother said.
My body stiffened from the tension.
"Seonhu. it's mom Don't be nervous."
Mom smiled and rubbed my shoulders as if to ease my tension.
okay. Where's the need to be nervous in front of mom?
I took a deep breath and let go of the tension.
"huh. It's okay, mom. thank you."
"okay. So what should we do today? What do you want to do before and after?"
"I am a mother… … I want to see you there."
I was encouraged by my mother's question and spoke honestly.
My eyes were on my mother's panties.
The place hidden under the panties. genitalia. see
Forest of Eternal Mystery.
I've seen it while taking a bath together when we were young, but my memories of the past have already faded.
I glanced at my sister and Smile, but what I really wanted to see was my mother's.
Mom laughed awkwardly.
"Seonhu. I'm ashamed of my mother too. And if the sergeant sees it, she might be shocked."
"not… will it?"
I held the hand of my mother who was about to decline and met her gaze.
Until now, my mother would do anything if I sincerely asked for it.
And it will be the same this time too.
"… … okay. Even my mom said she couldn't win against the chosen ones."
"really?"
"Instead, the fire stays like this. Also forbidden to touch. You just have to see it with your own eyes. got it?"
"huh. I will just look."
The operation was successful.
It's the first time I've been allowed to see a woman's place.
And that of my mother whom I love the most.
My heart was pounding like it would explode.
"Then I'll take it off... … ."
Mom put her hands under her negligee.
Hook your fingers on the sides of your panties and slowly pull them down.
I was watching the scene intently.
Does mom usually organize things like this?
When the panties came down, the first thing that caught my eye was the conspiracy drawing a pretty inverted triangle.
And underneath it was a vertical crack.
Even the plump outer flesh.
I could see the bright red petals protruding slightly from the inside.
it was hot It was so naughty.
It was on a different level from what I envisioned in my head with my poor imagination.
Was the mother hiding such an erotic body?
My heart pumped so much blood that I felt dizzy.
Seeing me staring at her without even blinking, my mother gave a small smile.
"Seriously, if you look at me like that, even your mother would be ashamed."
"No, because my mother is so pretty… … Sorry."
I forcibly turned my head while apologizing.
Seeing me like that, my mother smiled leisurely.
"Whoops. Thank you even for the words. Do you feel gross or unpleasant or anything like that?"
"at all. I don't think so at all. It's really pretty, Mom."
"… thank you my son Thanks to that, my mother has become more confident."
Mom kissed me on the cheek and smiled happily.
I was sincere. It was to the point where I felt resentful for my lack of expressiveness.
"A woman's genitals are the most embarrassing and sensitive part, so you can't just ask others to show you. Of course you can't even touch it. You only do it when you have a really close relationship with someone you really love."
"huh."
my mom teaches me
Mom's voice is pleasant. She becomes happy just by listening.
Then Mom spread her legs and beckoned me to come closer.
"Seonhu, would you like to come closer and take a look?"
I swallowed a dry saliva and moved closer to my mother.