I quickly explained myself in the smallest voice so that he won't feel disgusted. Then I took a deep breath and sighed deeply.
"I... just missed him so much so I unconsciously hugged and pecked him on the lips."
"Wait-"
"I know... I wasn't supposed to kiss him there because he never even kissed me at all and that was to prevent any potential scandal that may affect all of you. It was very unprofessional and insensitive of me so I understand him."
"Wait, what?"
"Please don't make me repeat myself... it's really hard to say this kind of private stuff."
"No, I mean did he get mad because of… that?"
"Probably... it's the only reason I could think of or perhaps I'm overthinking this up but-"
"That doesn't even make sense."
He shook his head in disbelief.
"You mean he never did… ahem… that to you?"
"Yeah..."
"Unbelievable…"
He smacked his forehead with his palm and subtly looked at the wall mirrors without moving his head.
I knew he's going to check K's reaction so I followed his eyes, only to catch K's intense gaze towards me and I somehow got burnt by it.
I quickly looked down and rummaged the makeup set for the lip gloss and tapped it lightly over Fuma's thinly-shaped lips.
"Just to be clear we both agreed to the idea of avoiding intimacy for the meantime and I promised to wait until his contract expires before he goes public about our relationship."
I whispered and sighed deeply.
"That's bullshit."
"Hey…"
Fuma rarely shows this kind of emotion and I began to worry.
"(Y/N), our contract is seven full years, active or not. What is the point of being in a relationship if you have no right to act like one? It's giving he only wanted to block anyone else from courting you."
"No, no. It wasn't solely his fault. I also suggested it for the sake of the group. I get what you're saying but I don't really mind. It's already a miracle a guy is dating me and it still feels surreal that he's the one of all people."
I pretended to brush his eyebrows in place to distract my tears from falling down.
"What are you saying?"
He straightened up and held my wrist to stop me from moving.
"The truth. I don't even know what exactly made him like me when there's a lot of people out there who look way better and he feels more comfortable being around with…"
"No, you're gravely mistaken. Please don't think you lack certain qualities because it will only make you feel unnecessarily inferior. Everyone is built differently and that's what makes us all interesting."
"I know. K's a great guy. I think he's just really nice so it's fine at how things are going. At least, there's something rather than nothing."
"That's not what I meant. Please be more confident on yourself."
My tears are on the brink of falling and I'm trying my best to force them back in.
Since K debuted up until now, there's nothing in our relationship that can be considered as dating, online or even offline because anything can be seen as evidence but his occasional meaningful stares and concerns at my well-being have kept me sane enough to cling onto his promise of forever.
"I still don't understand why go through great lengths to hide something so obvious."
"What do you mean?"
I felt my heartbeat skip at his remark.
"Everyone around us already knows K hyung is head over heels on you since the beginning."
"They do?"
Forget the head over heels part since I believe Fuma's just exaggerating to comfort me but the staffs and other members having a clue of what's going on almost gave me a heart attack.
"To be honest, they're actually rooting for you two. People here aren't as heartless as you think."
"I must be dreaming."
I don't believe him yet I can't ask anyone for confirmation either.
Fuma massaged his temples. I probably gave him a headache and I totally regretted it. They're about to face the camera and yet here I am, giving problems to the both of them.
"Let's talk more about this later after work. Meet me at the cafeteria's balcony.
I just nodded in agreement.
I was planning to make up an excuse later at night because I don't want people to speculate about us and cause him problems in the future.