I didn't talk. Not for one week to anyone there.
My brother has a bad habit of betting over me. When I tried for my 10th board, he bet that I would score above 90 and when I scored above 95, he was happy. When I was about to tell my parents that I wanted to take up arts instead of science, he declared that I wanted to take up Commerce as if he was the one making my life decisions. When I tried to explain how and why I wanted to take up arts only him and dad kind of revolted but mom helped me.
When I gave my 12th boards, he bet on the fact that I would fail and have to live there with them, get married and become a housewife.
When I gave my entrance, he bet on the fact that I would fail by one seat.
He has practically believed that I can never succeed in my entire life till now.
He's my Bhai and I respect him, I love him but it also hurts when I think of the past. But, he still hasn't changed. Now, he doesn't bet on if I can succeed in life. Instead, he bets on whether I can have a successful marriage or not. Sometimes I really hate him.
Then there's Suha who just thinks that it's all a joke. It's not. You might consider it to be funny but not anymore. I don't think that it's funny. Nobody can choose or bet on what I do in my life. Now I think that he even bet on if I would agree to marry or not.
I didn't talk to him for one whole month after going to Gujurat because he had scolded me and blamed me for getting in. I only talked to him after he called me on my birthday and said sorry. He had promised me 5 years ago that he would never do it again. He had promised me that he would support me in everything and he did do it for the 5 years till now but now I don't know anymore. Did he still bet and not let me find out?
I was angry at him as well as his friends. Yes, they're no more my fiance and ex. I label them as his friends and his friends alone.
Do you know what Sohit told me last night? He said sorry. Sorry for the kiss. Sorry for forcing you. Sorry for everything.
Do you know how angry I got after listening to that? I was fuming, unable to sleep, and screaming within a few seconds all night long. It was the first and foremost time I didn't want to hear a sorry from anyone. Sorry for the kiss? Was he trying to act like a gentleman there after kissing me?? Was he seriously serious? I wanted to kill him that moment itself.
No one says sorry after kissing!! Plus I kissed back!! That meant something!!
When I got out of the room the next morning, they were all staring at me, anticipating my actions but, I was done. Suha tried to approach me but I only threw the plates on the table, creating a lot of noise that clearly said that I wasn't ready to talk to anyone there. They got startled and Sohit's eyes widened while bhai frowned
" You're dragging it too long," he told me and I just slammed a glass in front of his plate, spilling the water everywhere
" Not everything is a joke," was the only thing I told them before leaving that place and going away.
I was so angry that I had decided, I wasn't staying there anymore. Not with bhai there 24 by 7, not with suha completely shifted into that house and with Sohit coming and going within every few days. I was done with seeing their faces so, that day after finishing my work, I took a detour and went to dad's.
There is a reason I and bhai both don't stay with him but, right now I wasn't left with many options plus, he would not interfere in my work. So, that was the best place for me to stay in.
" Pari?" he asked in disbelief when I turned up at dinner and I looked at the woman there and sighed. Yeah, I get it. My dad is rich and powerful. Plus he's single. There are many women who would die to marry him now. Every night, you could find a different woman in the house so, I and bhai decided to stick together and get out of the house after mom died. No, it never happened when mom was alive. I think that this was only a way for him to try and get over her. I'm sure.
" Papa," I hugged him and he was just confused
" What happened? Did Sohit try something?" I shook my head at his concerned voice and he frowned
" Then what happened?" he asked
" Bhai bet on me again. I'm done. I'm not staying with him," I told him and his eyes softened. He hugged me and moved his hand over my head
" You want to stay here till the marriage then?" he asked and I nodded while tears formed in my eyes
" Ok. You wait in the hall for some time. I'll ask Madhav to clean your room," he told me and I nodded again, walking out of the dining room and to the living room.
I stayed there, for 1 week or so, with papa and surprisingly there was no woman who came over. It was just me and papa there and I have to agree that I had a good time there. Papa even got off work just to stay with me for a longer time. I guess that's what you get from your parents when you are about to get married. He didn't even cut anything I told him, he smiled too much when I walked around and over small things he told me that I am just like mom. I loved staying there alone with him treating me like a princess.
But, as they say, everything has to come to an end. So did my happy time when suddenly, out of nowhere bhai, suha and Sohit came to have dinner one fine Sunday evening. I would honestly much more like a woman over at dinner than look at them, staring at me and trying to talk as if nothing even happened. I was, irritated. Sohit was sitting next to me, stealing glances, bhai was sitting right in front of me, looking at me more than the plate and Suha was looking constantly at me, without eating anything. I was super uncomfortable with them there.
The door was knocked on at about 12 in the night and who else would come in but my...
Fiance.
I was half hoping that my brother would come in and apologize but I guess he's too over his head to say sorry to me for everything or even anything. I was half disheartened after seeing his face so, I laid on my bed and put a blanket over my head as he sat next to me
" Why are you here?" I asked him and he pulled the blanket a little down
" Sorry," that's it. I sat up and glared at him
" For what?! I don't want your sorry!" I shouted and he just shifted closer to me
" For saying sorry. I wanted to do it. I shouldn't have messed it up,"
" I'm not angry because of that," he stopped saying nonsense. I bet he didn't know anything about why I was even angry at that moment or 1 week ago
" Yes, I didn't want that sorry from you but I am angry on bhai. Not you so you don't need to get guilty over anything," I told him and his frown only deepened
" Why?" he asked me and I shifted a little, to get a more comfortable place to sit and cleared my throat
" Because he had promised me," I told him, " To never bet on anything I ever do in my life again. He was supposed to leave it to me and deal with his own life," His frown got released and he took in a deep breath
" So you know..." as if I didn't.
" Why are you still here!? Go, and bet again with him!" I shouted and he shook his hand in front of me
" It wasn't a bet," he started, " Suha said that because he didn't want you to know that he hated the fact that I kissed you,"
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Shit.
" He didn't bet on the fact anytime. In fact, when you left too, he was just unhappy because he didn't want his younger sister to leave. That's why he lied," he just kept saying and my eyes just kept opening with realization. I never thought that bhai... He could've told me before this! I wouldn't have gotten this angry!! I so damn hate him for this.
and before I could say anything the door opened and bhai literally stumbled inside. We both looked at him, both of us shocked as he cleared his throat and the door opened again
" Bhai, we should go!" Suha shouted and Sohit looked back at me. Then, he stood up and looked back
" Yeah," he agreed and before going out, just kept a hand over bhai's shoulder. I could see him smiling as he looked back slightly and then left the room.
I squinted my eyes at my brother who was trying to not look at me and find a place to sit in.
" can't you tell me the truth at least sometimes? You don't have to always depend on Suha," I started and he sighed
" You're small. You won't get it," he told me and I raised an eyebrow while crossing my hands
" How small? I'm Suhani's age if you forgot and I've grown up," I told him and he just sat next to me on the bed, not giving a fuck about anything I just said
" That is not something I can tell you," he argued
" So you can let me think that you are bad instead of knowing the truth?!" I asked in anger and he frowned
I needed that talk with him from a long time and by the time we ended explaining things, we were both in tears, remembering mumma and hugging each other on the bed. It was a good bonding time for both of us and now, I think that it was better we did it before I got married. I wanted bhai to be possessive of me and tell me everything he had to say. Even if I didn't like what he said, I didn't want him to tell me the false thing and become the villain in my eyes... He is my bhai and I love him.
" So?" She asked me in the morning and I just rolled my eyes at her question
" Bhai. Tell her that I'm still not talking to traitors," I declared before leaving the house and she ran behind me
" That is not fair!" She shouted when we had left the house and she was just following me
" I don't know. Is betraying your best friend and lying fair? Don't think so,"
I bet she was shocked but I was still at least a little angry at her for lying just because my brother asked her to.
" So sorry princess," she put her hand around my neck and I just glared at her with squinted eyes
" Get that off me," I ordered in authority and she only started tickling me. I giggled, tried to get out of her grasp and laughed as a few tears finally did came out of my eyes as I finally got free and ran away from her
" You stop!" I shouted, still laughing and she kept her hands over her hips
" Only when you give up being a balloon!" She declared
I ran from there, real fast, without looking at the people in front of me and I stumbled into someone. Actually, it seemed more like someone was pushed at me, just to stop me and when I looked at the man who had that sturdy chest, I paused, so did he.
We paused and looked at each for a long time till Suha finally poked my shoulder and I shifted, moved a little away from him who was still staring at me with his handsome face and gorgeous eyes.
" I'm not angry at you," I repeated when we got in the car and he nodded
" I understood that the moment I heard the payal jingle when you came to open the door," he told me and I tilted my head a little
" Then why did you apologize last night?" Was the instant question that left my mouth and he looked at me, for a long time
" I owed you one, after that last sorry," I tried hard to keep my smile away and looked at the window, away from him as he smiled.
I just hope that he kept understanding and saying sorry for the right things...