Have you ever felt like the background character of your own life?
Lately, it seems like I've been watching everyone around me seemingly try new things, go places with friends, and have this college thing all figured out. They're the main characters- their own protagonists. Sure enough, everyone else sees them that way too.
It's like they see something in the world that I don't. Like their world is so much more colorful than mine.
They live life like its vibrant. Bursting with colors that only they can see. As I watch from the lonely chair at my college café, they high-five and act all confident around others. They attract attention, recognition, and even admiration. Truly, they must see the world in that vibrance that seems much too distant for me.
I wonder, will I ever be able to see life like that again?
I pack up the books and note papers I laid out on the café table. Since nobody was going to sit with me, I could have very well just spread out all my materials. I don't want to bring attention to myself, though.
As I open the exit door of the café, the warm summer breeze finds its way to my face. I'm sure others are enjoying it as well, but I won't ask. As I walk towards the campus exit, I see a group of girls hanging out by some benches under a tree. They talk, laugh, and exchange expressions with each other.
"They're laughing at you." Says the voice in my head. It must be true.
I quickly exit the campus, reminding myself that I wouldn't fit in with that group of girls anyway. How could I? It simply wouldn't work. "They're not worth it, anyway. Not my kind of friends." I mumble in an effort to relieve myself.
As I take the long sidewalk to the plaza a few blocks away, I pay no mind to the black and white trees. Instead, I observe the people driving the cars passing by. Why? I'm not so sure. But I must get a glimpse of their faces.
"They're looking at me." The voice in my head confirms. Surely enough, I catch the glances of each driver as they pass. It must be true.
I fiddle with the pockets of my cardigan, taking out my smartphone to give me something to look at. I scroll left and right on the home screen, observing the apps I have downloaded. I won't open one, just observe.
"Look at your social media timeline. That's normal." The voice in my head recommends. I open my social media app, having nothing to share on my story or post from the day- or even the week. Perhaps, even the month.
I scroll through my timeline, seeing the lives of everyone I follow. From celebrities to people from my old school, to even family members. I don't think I care to see my Mom and Dad's posts, though...
I start to see new posts from my favorite writers, perhaps the only community that I'm genuinely interested in. They have new stories to tell of distant lands, complex characters, love interests, and all sorts of villains to match.
As I scroll through the inspirational quotes, book updates, and discussions I stumble across an advertisement. A young man, seeming around 19, stands next to his father on a stage with a large screen behind it. His black hair looks messy, and his eyes have the look of someone who is terrified behind his glasses. His boney exterior pales in comparison to the older man, whose toned and veiny neck alone means he must have some muscles under his business suit.
"After years of intense work, NeuroBase has successfully developed the very first full-dive VR headset: the OrionGear!" The older man exclaimed in a confident voice that commanded authority. "I know the gaming community has been wanting this for quite a while!" He continues.
Wait, but I'm not even part of that community. How am I getting this ad? I should probably just scroll past it...
"My son!" The man exclaims, seemingly out of nowhere. The camera zooms in on his face, looking more and more frightened by the second. I can't say I blame him- I would probably feel the same way in front of a camera.
"I'm very proud to announce that he will be developing the very first game for this console, with the help of our new AI developers engine! He may not look it, but he's a skilled member of our team! A boy genius, in fact! He even helped us raise money for the engine with his college fund!"
He gave his college fund to his Dad? Or did he tak-
"Such generosity! Its always been his dream to develop a videogame, and I know he won't let us down! So look forward to the release of the OrionGear, cause it's gonna be out of this world!" A clip of a spaceship soaring through the stars played on the screen behind them. Then, the ship landed into a planet and somehow blew it up, with the words ORIONGEAR flashing on the screen.
"Warning: May or may not cause brain damage." A voiceover added, almost too quickly to hear. Somewhat intrigued, I opened the comments section to see what people thought of the cheesy advertisement for a piece of technology that could shape the future as we know it.
"This guy pops up every few years, no way this thing gets released!" One commenter said.
"Let's stop kidding ourselves, the OrionGear is never coming out. It's a scam!" Another spouted.
"Screw Brian and his malnourished offspring! I hope he gets arrested for trying to scam us all with this garbage!"
"The moment I saw an 'alpha-male' game developer I knew this was gonna to be a con job." The comments go on like this all the way down.
"Too good to be true, huh?" I mumble to myself. Still, I feel kind of bad for his son- he doesn't seem like he deserves this kind of hate.
I walked for the length of that advertisement, heading to my destination completely on autopilot. I know where my home is; it's my favorite place in this world. Why stop at the shops I pass by? Why stop at the restaurants? What do I gain from that?
Unknowingly, I come up to a large staircase that leads up to one of the townhomes lining both sides of the street.
"AHHH! LOOK OUT!"
Startled, I look up from my phone, and the boy from the ad I just saw is tumbling down one of the stairs to the door of a home. The fliers he was holding scatter into the air. Without thinking, I run up the stairs and grab his t-shirt as he passes me- stopping him from rolling all the way down to the sidewalk. Thank goodness, as he would have hit his head even more times if he reached the pavement.
He swings his arm to the rail, catching his breathe and frantically feeling all over his body. As the wind pushes the fliers all around, one lands on the side of my face. I let go of the boy's shirt to remove it.
"ORIONGEAR! THE FUTURE OF VR!" The flier reads, with a picture of a VR headset. The same rocket ship and planet from the social media advertisement served as the background, seeming like they had paused the video right before the ship hit the planet and took a screenshot.
"Y-you!" The boy yells. I look up from the flier, and the boy looks startled. "Y-you saved my life!"
"Oh, uh, I don't know about that..." I reply, wondering why he's being so dramatic. "Maybe from a massive headache, though." I add, realizing that this may be the first social interaction I've had today.
"Oh no, I'm still in excruciating pain. I hit my head three times on these stairs before you stopped me, uh..." He says, seemingly trying to discredit me.
"Oh, it's Chizuru."
"What?"
"Chi-zu-ru."
"Got it! Thanks Chizuru! Oh and uh, I'm Gideon!"
"Gideon? So you're the guy from that ad?"
"What!? You saw it!? Damnit, my Dad is always screwing up my chances with girls!"
"Your chances with girls?" I ask, confused as to why he's saying such things to me.
"I'm a game developer with no game AND no game! How will I go on!?" He yells.
"Dude, chill. Are you sure you're ok? You even had me repeat my name..."
"Pff, who me? All good, Chizuru! A few bumps and bruises, but I'll be fine thanks to you!" He begins to dust himself off.
"Seriously, nice save! I could have gotten a concussion, or even worse! Than I would REALLY be in trouble..." He continues. Does this guy ever shut up? He seems completely different from the terrified boy in the ad.
"Don't mention it, really. I'm just glad I could help." I reply, his face lighting up with a warm sense of gratitude. A moment of silence passes.
"By the way, are you and your dad really running a scam?" I ask.
The look on his face turns from lighthearted gratitude to utter shock, as if a high school bully had just insulted him in the most personal way possible. His expression stays this way for a moment, and he says nothing.
"Hey, uhh-"
"I promise you its not a scam! Ughh, I've been knocking on doors for 2 hours straight trying to advertise my Dad's life work, and that's all everybody has to say about it!"
That cheesy social media ad was that guy advertising his life's work!?
I try to hold back a snicker, but to no avail. He hears me and starts to blush. In that moment, I begin to see something I haven't in awhile- colors.
The colors of his cheeks, which are red. The color of his eyes, which are green. The color of his eyes, brown. I begin to notice things about him that I couldn't- no, maybe just didn't before.
"K-keep the flier! I gotta go! Thanks again!" He says suddenly, stumbling to get those words out. He runs away, seemingly embarrassed by our conversation.
I wanted to yell something to him. "Wait, don't go just yet" couldn't escape my mouth. My hand reached out as if to grab him, or even tell him to stop. He grabbed some fliers he had dropped and left the rest behind, running further and further down the sidewalk until he finally turned the corner into an alley near my house.
I suppose just like the OrionGear, it was all too good to be true after all...