So, I was grounded. Barred from going anywhere and deemed to have limited contact from the outside. Not even Helena, who kept making a fuss, could have her way this time around.
Fortunately, my Mother could talk some sense into her, and after a while, Helena finally stopped pestering the guards who were just doing their job.
Anyway, true to my Father's edict, the guards were increased, and no one other than the maids and Sir Rodrick were allowed access to meet me.
At night, they even went as far as entering my room to monitor me, with shifts, too. I couldn't say it didn't bother me, but it is what it is...
Be that as it may, from my perspective, this could also mean the long, quiet break that I desperately needed had come at the right moment.
I need to sort out my thoughts...
Truth be told, my mind was still a mess after the event with the Saint. Sure, I cried and slept it off, and it did help a lot. But it was still a mess, nonetheless.
The fact that I lost. The encounter with Meredith. The thing with Howard and Helena. And, of course...what my plan should be in the future.
I always have a firm guiding point in my grand plan. Something I spent a very long time cooking back in God's realm. Suffice it to say, I have never been a genius, so my plan would definitely be riddled with holes if we were to dissect it down to the details.
Objectively speaking, things have been good so far.
Steadily grew myself, meeting Howard and keeping him from going berserk by preventing Helena's death, and built the House of Light and Darkness to grow my own force for the future.
I was even able to get Helios on my side.
Yes. All the major points of my plan checked out, with a bonus, too...
And if there was anything that existed beyond my expectations, that would be my emotional growth. And what I meant by that was...my growing affection toward a certain group of people. My family in particular.
This family, in its role, should have been a place where I could bide my time peacefully. Nothing more and nothing less than that. A safe haven for me to spend my fifteen years in recovery before I was able to walk into the outside world on my own two feet.
My plan was to live out the fifteen years quietly, while the backup plan if that failed to pan out nicely, would be to stay with the House of Light and Darkness. Regardless, since the making of the House, we have been garnering a constant stream of enemies whether we realized it or not, so that plan also had its risks.
Anyway, since my family, the ducal house of Dawson, was able to offer me safety, I needed only to go on with the original plan. And, after spending ten years growing up with a family that was full of genuine love, I could no longer see them as merely a safe haven that I could use.
No, it had turned into something more than that.
This brought us to this point...
I honestly could no longer go with the original agenda because if I did, that meant I would have to drag my family down into hell with me, and knowing my family, I would bet my money they'd almost certainly try their luck by trying to protect me.
It was something I couldn't afford to happen. That's why I needed the time to think.
I needed to rearrange my plan, change what I could change, and steel my heart when the need to act arose. Meredith said I could choose whether to treat my affection as a sign of weakness or strength.
Honestly, I didn't know how to do that. All I knew was that I couldn't have the rest of the world condemn my family just because of me.
I must save the world, and for that to work, I have to become its enemy. The nemesis that struck despair and horror in the hearts of many...
Thus, the ties must be cut; I must sever them in a way so my family couldn't ever hope to associate themselves with me ever again. I couldn't have them share that fate. Just thinking about it made my gut churn wild, and my blood ran cold.
And the answer I found to satisfy that requirement was...for me to be gone.
Not like my recent escapades. No...this time, for good.
Fysi needed to see what happened. They have to be there and witness that moment.
The moment Alexander Von Dawson disappeared from the face of the world...