'I suppose you're not joking?'
"I do not jest, child." a simple reply.
'...Why? Why me? Let's be honest. I don't have what it takes to save a world. Don't have the brain, nor the skill to do it. I am just a normal human living a normal life.'
"Out of all the souls that swim across the realms, your soul is the only one that reaches out to the summon. It is but a fate."
Their tone stayed the same, but I shuddered like a newly-born foal in return.
'...No. I don't want to. It's scary. I can't do it, god. Please find another one.'
A brief silence lasted between us.
"A pity. Truly is. But I will respect the will of your soul, child."
'Thanks. I was afraid you would kidnap me for a second there.'
I sighed with relief when he backed out without throwing a threat or two.
'So, what will happen to me after this?'
"This one will send you back into the cycle of life and death far from this realm. But not right now. The divinity This one has is not nearly enough to achieve such a feat. Until they are restored, you will stay by This one's side. Here in this realm."
'Okay, I get it...I'm sorry for all the questions, but can I ask one last thing?' I looked at the god expectantly.
"500 years, child."
'Huh...? Um, what? Wait. No...No way, right? You don't even know what I'm gonna ask you.' I picked my nonexistent ears just to confirm whether I just misheard the god or not.
"This one simply hears the intent of your soul."
'500 years!? I have to wait in here for 500 fucking years!? Please tell me you are not serious, god.'
"I spoke the truth, child."
'Argh!!' I screamed and pulled my hair. Well, imaginary hair. 'Damn it. You are kidnapping me, after all.'
The god merely listened in silence, basking in the ever-glowing regality.
I wish I could hurl profanity left and right to my heart's content, but considering the party who'll receive it is a god, I chose to be the wiser.
Well, I was sure he knew just how angry I was...
"This one knows of the rage that blooms within you."
'Well yeah...I hate this! You are giving me choices that don't seem like a choice at all!'
"It is but a fate, child."
'To hell with fate and that shit...' Even I know that being angry wouldn't take me anywhere. So, I said with as much sincerity as my irritated heart could muster. 'Let me think...'
I need a lot of time to think.
So, time flows by. I didn't know how long, and I didn't want to find the answer to that.
But here's the strange part...
Whenever I thought about what might happen if I accepted the offer, my past life kept flashing before me.
My path, relationships, thoughts, and all the choices that I made.
Everything came back to me crystal clear. And something was gnawing at the back of my mind. As if begging to be finally left out of its cage.
And it dawned upon me after who knew how long...
I never had a dream...
It was baffling why I only realized this after I died, but yes, I did not have a dream.
Everything always felt bland and grey to me.
Why was that? Did I live my life wrong? I just did it like everybody else, though...
I remembered people asking me about my dream and also the half-hearted lies I gave as an answer.
But here...I found myself utterly speechless, in this place where lies couldn't cover the truth.
Dream...
It was so simple and free. It was not grandiose or even rare, and it took only but a thought, but I never gave it any room.
Pathetic...
The world was never bland or grey. I was the bland and grey alien all along...Trying to fit my way in along the masses inside that awkward world.
And the minute I realized how ignorant and meaningless my life had been, something churned within me.
The realization brought about the truth. And from truth came despair, and from despair...came rage.
"God...I'll do it." And so, I gave my answer, burning with madness that stemmed wildly from the depth of my soul.
"..." The response I received was the deafening silence.
I was still afraid when I imagined the unknown world ahead of me. But there was no more room left for fear to steer the way.
Instead, what was left to reign was the boiling obsession born out of anger.
"But if we're gonna do this, let's do it right!"