"That's why we have to make this work out." Debra said over the phone.
"Hey babe." Jane said as she walked into the room hugging Debra from behind. Debra turned and cut the call off, she grabbed her by the waist, they began kissing and it was so weird for so many reasons. I shivered inside the cupboard which I was inside.
"So who'as my baby girl talking to?." Jane asked, they bold held their waists looking each other in the eyes. Jane was the typical man in the relationship, she had a multi colored undercut hairstyle and usually wore black or white clothes meant for boys which was why many people always mistook her as a guy coupled with the fact her boobs were the size of a lemon... Nandy was quite like Jane in physique and few more, Jane always worked out every Saturdays and Sundays and days when she wasn't working, she did press ups and pull ups immediately she wakes up, well according to Debra though, and she also loved playing sports at times particularly football but Nandy never exercised or did any of these but she just took after Jane in physique, plus she didn't take in any junk foods, she was a health freak took after Debra.
Jane learnt about Cristiano Ronaldo's ideology and decided to take after him and you know, Nandy and being a mummy's girl.
Debra had a classic long hair with one side shaved. These people would soon finger themselves if I wasn't careful to close my eyes.
"No one important baby, it's one of those dirty prank callers." That was a lie but it's always for the best if it's coming from Debra. They were both on red leggings and white Lakers jerseys and they seemed fine talking and massaging each others' back cheeks and kissing after every five sentences or there about.
Now you may be wondering what I was doing in my parents' room, well, I was looking for Jane's card as I had grabbed her phone and place it on airplane mode so I wouldn't be disturbed. I was beginning to think Nandy was right, I needed a job.
"Well babe, be very careful because prank callers are doing shit with AI now a days." Jane was right.
"Real old gist, But I actually totally forgot, better luck for me next time, thanks babe." Debra said. Oh Lord, when am I gonna get out of this sticky situation, if you grant me a chance to escape, amma drop her card and phone and go get me a job.
"Babe, let's go to the other room, we were here yesterday." Debra said. My lovely parents had a timetable for rumpy pumping?, why didn't I think of that?. Oh yeah, I don't have a girlfriend and I've never been in anyone before. As soon as they left I went out to fulfill my promise to my self and God.
"Thank you Jesus." I said as I ran down the stairs in a rush.
"Where you headed to weirdo?." Nandy asked as I bumped into her on my way.
"None of your business playgirl." I sighed deeply. This was her fifth girl in three days just this week and from the look of things, they all didn't seem to know each other.
"You've probably stolen something from mom's room, mommm!" She shouted.
"Shut the fuck up girl, why you gotta be a rat?, besides I didn't steal anything." She ran towards and began to ransack my pockets, I shoved her hands off. "Get off me you creep, I'm going somewhere, see you later, don't ask." I said.
"Not even gonna..., just don't get kidnapped ok?." She turned going up the stairs.
"Like you care or anything." She hissed and we parted.
She usually got money from Jane, sometimes Debra or when she wanted to be the weaker sex in her relationships and before when she would save people from me and the gang, the only way I got money was from Debra or stealing from Jane, or back when I was a bully, I'm basically too lazy to go get a job but since two days ago I've been thinking about getting one then you know, I made a promise to God in that cupboard, soooo... I was gonna head over to Gary's and see whether he and his pops got any ideas.
So that was where I headed off to. "Hey Mrs Turner, good afternoon." I greeted as I skated past her house?
"Well hello there Tobias, how are you doing?."
"I'm fine thank you Mrs Turner, how's the family?." she always made me refer to her cats as her family besides no one actually ever bothered to greet her and she didn't seem to mind me greeting her not did she mind the fact that no one greeted her, she usually woke up really early, sat on her porch at the first floor of her house, she always made use of a well crafted stick to clean her teeth before she actually brushed, if she actually brushed, I remember my grandma using one of those back in Nigeria, one of the many wonders of Africa, she loved sitting around watching those passing and any who bothered to greet her of which it was mostly me, she would reply, her cats would surround her, some running around the verandah, none ever crossed the gates except they were with her, what I really loved about her was that she took life the way it was.
"Oh, Pudding and the family are doing fine." I smiled and no matter how fake it was I tried to make it as real as Oshimen's smile when he won the Napoli the Italian Scudetto for the first in thirty years a few years back. I waved with a smile and rode away on my board, the fact she had ninety cats and called them a family was not giving, they should actually be called a community, I wonder where she got money from to afford her living since she barely worked nor did she have kids or grandkids which I ever saw, oh well, I shrugged moving on.
I was about to get to the junction leading to Gary's house when I remembered a wise saying I had heard from my uncle Buchi, "If you really want to be successful, don't tell people all your plans because the lion doesn't roar after a kill, plus they may sabotage them, no matter how close you guys are." I quickly diverted, I was gonna do this on my own, my efforts and a little surfing of the search engines on the internet must do the trick, hope it does.
Well there was all these jobs on social media where you could make good money from but for a guy who was lazy I sure did prefer manual labor. I rode on with my ear pods listening to a gripping Zlatan Ibile jam, I saw a very familiar figure move into a store, I looked a bit but I decided not to give it much thought, this Able God banger is really giving. I decided to stop at a grocery store called ShopRite to ask whether they had a vacant spot.
"Did you see any ad for vacancy?." A rude middle aged man probably in his forties asked in a loud tone. I stared at him for a while. "Well?." he jolted me back to reality. "Did you?!." His loud voice sent shivers down my spines.
"No sir!." I answered like a hyped up soldier in the face of his commander and people then began to laugh.
"Well, I don't see why you're still standing here looking at me like we've got no use for our lifes." I ran outta there, his voice was just loud and seemed to be looking for who to vent out his anger on, happens to the best of us... and at this point I was the vulnerable one. I guess it's the next store then.
Damn I just lost an ear pod, now I've gotta go find it, in the midst of still trying to find a job, this was much more stressful than the experience of getting settled in a university in Nigeria, according to my cousins back there, if you walk up and down for three hours and get frustrated with useless lecturers with unpaid half cuts as salaries screaming at you and you can't talk back because thanks to making our parents proud through the source they love the most "education", these useless people suddenly feel like they have the keys to your "life" and they can break them at any point so you just have to endure the stupidity, again all thanks to our parents and their irrational love for education seemingly forgetting that they're begging for salaries everyday after being "well educated", when I think about all these it simply just makes me mad because they don't believe you can be successful as a footballer, or a dancer and a musician and what not and, they simply don't get that tertiary education is not for everyone and between that man screaming at me and all these abnormalities from our loving parents I don't know what is more annoying for me today, though some people actually like and care about tertiary education, definitely not me, so I don't know why parents gotta go around forcing it on us. Anyways, after pacing around for almost twenty two minutes, I gave up, I simply walked into the next store and bumped into a person on a burqa, the bag dropped and the medicine rolled out.
"Watch your way you motherfuc... I'm sorry, let me help you with that." I let go of my anger and smiled as I helped arrange everything, I also complimented the person. "You know burqas are lovely always but why do y'all cover yourselves up so immensely even up to the face and in this heatwave right in the middle of June, it's almost twenty twenty s... She nodded and went away with her stuffs not even muttering "thanks", rude much?, anyways I've got a job to find you know?.
I changed my mind about that store and moved to the next, I stopped on my tracks and realized I hadn't even examined that store I had left as well, that was a pharmacy, hell no I'm being medical in this life, medical personnels are one of the most hardworking people in the world, no one could replace them in their jobs, very important but their handwritings and high prices were the worst, respect to the medicals. Few miles away was Walmart, I could probably make bank there, or not, I almost forgot USA's economy going down faster than I can flush a toilet, the Yuan or Rubles was gonna be the new world reserve currency anytime now and there's nothing the States could do about that except nuke Shanghai, Beijing, St. Petersburg or Moscow which would be their biggest blow and the most stupid thing they would ever do since majority of the world elites planned faking a pandemic to keep everyone inside so they could turn the path of the world's economies especially Africa and also Lyndon's creepy grin after being sworn into office in 1963. Anyways, point was Walmart may not pay me much in as much they were a private corporation.
I opted for a rather small well to do kiosk I had just sighted across the road, for some reason a thought made me believe I had a future there... Weird!, I crossed over and went to go meet the owner, it was a lady, random much?.
"Whatcha wanna buy young man?."
"Good evening, you hiring?." she looked me up and down for a while and said, "Give me your number." and when I did she said. "Amma get back to you."
"For a small kiosk, you sure are serious." she stared at me a while again with an expressionless face and went back to her duties. "Sorry mam." I went away feeling slightly satisfied, a little embarrassed though, but chill, now I kinda have an upper edge against Nandy.
I got on my board and rode home, I decided I was gonna keep it a secret from everyone, yup, the lion doesn't roar after a kill. As I got home, I greeted all who were present and those who cared reciprocated, I then ate on the dining table, went to the freezer, got our a cartoon of orange juice and went to go lie down in my room for a well deserved rest. I checked my phone and it was almost seven thirty pm after my meal, oh wow, I guess I'm going in early.