"That's all for today's class. Don't forget your Romeo and Juliet essays are due Monday and we'll also be starting The Great Gatsby. Have a good weekend."
Ronobir announced to the class a minute before the bell rang. He sighed in relief that it was finally Friday, he needed a break from the college and Mishti. Seeing her in class every day was not making it easy for him to attempt to get over her. He tried not to make it obvious but sometimes he let himself slip up.
He missed her.
Ronobir missed being with her, hearing her laugh, caressing her face and worshipping her the way she deserves to be worshipped. Mishti's presence alone just made him smile. The sex was great, he won't deny that, but that wasn't all he wanted from her. He wanted something deeper. Maybe he was naive for thinking that but what was the harm in giving it a shot? They've already got the physical part down, why not take the next step? He was willing but she wasn't.
He still doesn't believe that she doesn't feel the same about him, he's seen it in her eyes and has heard it in her voice but he can't read her mind nor force her to be with him. The next best thing is letting her go, no matter how difficult it was.
"Prof. Chatterjee?" He looked up at the doe eyes that could only belong to Mishti Khanna. Ronobir 's mouth went dry at the sight of her standing in front of his desk. Her bouncy curls shaped her flawless face beautifully and her dark purple dress exposed her long legs.
-Why did she have to be so beautiful?
He nervously cleared his throat. "Yes, Miss Prakash?"
"I know the Romeo and Juliet essay isn't due until Monday but I was wondering if I could turn it in today?"
He raised an eyebrow. "You're already finished with it?"
She grinned, pulling the paper out of her bag. "Yeah, I've had a lot of time on my hands lately so I figured why not? One less thing to worry about over the weekend."
"Quite the overachiever," Ronobir smirked.
"It's a part of my charm." She winked. Wow, Mishti forgot how easy it was to talk to him. She blinked a few times before finally handing it to him, their fingers slightly brushing each other. They both instantly felt the electrifying connection as they made eye contact with each other. Mishti could feel her chest heaving from just his smallest touch. After a while, she finally let go of the paper trying to avoid his gaze for he was still looking at her.
They haven't really spoken since that day and Mishti couldn't pretend she didn't miss him. His touch, the way he would look at her, the things he said, the way he made her feel...
"I guess I'll see you on Monday then," Mishti said, interrupting her thoughts. She couldn't dwell over him, not right in front of him at least.
"Mishti." He called before she could even make her way to the door. She turned back around to face him.
"Umm...I'm going out on a date tonight, with Kusum."
Mishti's jaw subconsciously clenched in jealousy and her stomach dropped. She swallowed down the lump in her throat, not trying to show him any kind of emotion. "Good for you, I'm glad you're giving it a shot."
"Are you?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
Ronobir looked disappointed and Mishti could tell he was waiting for a yell, scoff or any kind of emotion other than a plain congratulations. He didn't want her to accept that he was going on a date with another woman, he wanted her to react. He wanted her to express her disapproval and fight for him.
"I suppose you would."
She bit her lip anxiously. "Why did you tell me this?"
"You have to ask?" He got out of his seat walking towards her.
"You don't owe me any explanations, Ronobir. I told you we're not a couple, never were." The words taste like venom as they escape her lips.
"It's amazing how much you enjoy pointing that out, I wonder who you're trying to convince of that, me or yourself? Because if it's me, you're doing a terrible job."
She scoffed. "I'm not trying to convince anyone of anything."
"You're trying to convince yourself that your feelings don't run deeper than just a sexual attraction when we both know that's not true."
Damnit.
"I can't do this right now." She shook her head walking towards the door but he grabbed her hand before she could even turn the knob. She was afraid to turn, not ready to see his face but she did anyway and her knees were already weakened just from his stare. He pinned her against the door, reaching behind her to make sure it was locked.
Mishti's breathing quickened from the closeness, their bodies practically glued chest to chest. One of Ronobir 's hands trapped her between him and the door while his other hand brushed back the curls covering her face. The cold touch electrifies her warm skin. His finger outlined her face slowly, eyes wandering and memorizing her every detail over again. She felt the heat rush to her core as his thumb grazed over her bottom lip seductively.
He was good with his hands even when he was barely doing anything.
"Ronobir ..."
"I want you, Mishti." He whispered, his hand now cradling her face. "I miss you."
His face was now dangerously close to hers. Mishti wanted to kiss him so badly and give in, finally admit her true feelings and be done with it but she couldn't. She wanted to, but she couldn't.
"You have a date to get ready for." She bit her lip nervously looking up at him. Her words were dunked on him like a bucket of ice. His face was cold as he looked at her in disbelief. Ronobir dropped his hands from the wall and her face. He's done all he could. She knows exactly how he feels and nothing has changed for her, there wasn't much left he could do at this point.
He was done trying.
"I suppose I do. Have a nice weekend, sweety." Ronobir coldly started opening the door for her. She nodded at him pushing herself off the wall so she could walk out of the room. He closed the door right away leaving Mishti alone in the empty hallway.
-Why are you so damn stubborn, Mishti?!
She yelled at herself as she rushed to the girl's bathroom trying to hold back the tears threatening to stream down her face.
This wasn't supposed to happen.
It was supposed to be just casual sex, she didn't mean for feelings to develop on either end. Mishti can put up her wall as much as she wants but he will always find a way to slowly break it down. She couldn't stop it.
Mishti wanted Ronobir.
Durga Ma wanted him, all of him and because of her stubbornness, the date that belonged to her is now being shared with someone else. Mishti was so used to people not sticking around or giving a damn, she didn't know how to properly react when someone finally did.
This wasn't supposed to happen.
"Ah, Ronobir, I'm glad I caught you before you left," Ratan said as Ronobir locked his classroom door. "So...I heard you and Kusum are going out tonight."
Ronobir rolled his eyes. " Ratan."
"I won't harass you about it, I'm just glad it's happening. She's a great woman and smart, I think you'll like her a lot."
Ronobir gulped. "I guess we'll see." He began walking to his car and Ratan followed.
He grinned. "Usually I don't encourage romantic entanglements in the workplace but I hope tonight does work out."
"Why the sudden interest in my love life, brother?"
Ratan looked at him thoughtfully. "I just want you to be happy."
If only Ratan knew he already was. Mishti made him happy, the happiest he's been in a while but like most great moments in his life, it was brief.
"Ah come on, Mish! It's a Friday night and Rajdeep has an open bar." Pari said over the phone.
"I don't know, Pari..." She sighed.
Mishti sat on her bed listening to her friend try to convince her to go out tonight but she wasn't in the party mood. Too busy self-pitying over the date she was supposed to be on tonight with the guy she likes. She could've easily told Ronobir the truth, why didn't she? More missed opportunities after another. Now he's going out with the clingiest bitch known to mankind. If anything irked her more than the fact that she wasn't going on this date herself, it was who he was going with instead.
"Look, we're young, hot and single. We have nothing holding us down. There's going to be free booze and lots and lots of hot guys! I can't scope them all out by myself with Ragini strapped to Laksh's hip, you're my wing woman." She pleaded, making Mishti giggle.
"Seriously Mish, give me one good reason why you won't come out with me tonight."
-Well the guy I'm crazy about who's also our teacher who I've been sleeping with for the past few weeks, is going on a date with Ms Googley's eyes and I'm pissed! Good enough of a reason?
Pari was her sister and it pained her that she couldn't talk to her about Ronobir. Not that Mishti felt she would be judged but the fewer people that knew about them the better. But she wanted to talk about this and her feelings with someone but the only person she could do that with was Ronobir. Granted she did need to talk to him about it, he deserved an explanation but that wasn't happening tonight especially if he was with her.
This was ridiculous. He was going out on a date so why shouldn't she go out and have some fun too? As Pari said, they have nothing holding them down. She's not dating Ronobir and he's out with someone else anyways, it was only fair, right? Nothing helps to get over someone like a party full of hot guys and free alcohol.
"You know what...I changed my mind. Yeah, let's go out." Mishti confirmed and Pari squealed loudly.
"Okay! Ragini will pick us up at 9!" Pari abruptly hung up the phone.
This was a good thing. Going out, having fun and meeting boys her age was a good thing. Instead of moping around over a man who makes her feel like a goddess and treats her as such.
-This wasn't going to be easy.
It was already 8:45 and Mishti was barely finished getting ready and knowing Pari she was going to be on time. As she hurriedly straightened her hair she was, of course, thinking about Ronobir and Kusum.
-I hate that bitch so much.
Were they already on their date? Was Ronobir enjoying himself? Were Kusum's greedy hands all over him? To be fair, Mishti knew she had no one to blame but herself for this. Ronobir put himself out there and she stupidly chose to push him away instead of explaining to him what was going on in her head. She's never been great with communication.
She contemplated texting or calling him to tell him not to go out with Kusum but she decided not to. They're both doing their things tonight with people they can be seen with. They're with people they should be with...right?
After she finished her hair she applied light makeup to her face before her phone started to vibrate. Wishful thinking, she was hoping it was Ronobir but as expected it was a text from Ragini saying she was outside. Mishti sighed looking over her appearance in the mirror once then grabbed her phone and keys walking out the front door.
Pari excitedly waved and Mishti couldn't help but smile at her overly happy sister.
"Okay Miss 'I don't want to go out, you look hot! And your ass looks great in those jeans." She said when Mishti got in the passenger seat.
"Well, hopefully, others think so too." She smirked.
"Are you kidding? Rajdeep's only been trying to date you since last year, I think you going with him to the banquet gave him some hope."
"We'll see." She slowly stated strapping on her seatbelt.
Pari raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure you're okay, Mish? If you don't wanna go..."
"No, I do and I'm fine. This was a stressful week so some fun is exactly what I need right now." She sighed, sitting back in the seat.
"Alright..." She restarted her engine and began reversing out of the driveway.
"That was a great movie," Kusum said as she and Ronobir walked down the street together. "Tonight was nice, thank you"
"I'm glad, it was no problem."
She grinned discreetly, hooking her arm around his. Ronobir's eyes widened at her bold move looking down at their now interlocked arms. His first instinct was to detach from her but he had to remind himself, he was on a date and he was giving this a chance as Mishti told him he should.
Damn Mishti. He managed to sit through the whole movie without thinking about her, wondering what she was doing and wishing she was the one on his arm instead. He thought about calling the date off but what good would that do? Mishti didn't want to be with him, she made that abundantly clear more than once also this weekend was focused on him getting the space he desperately needed from her if he was ever going to attempt burying his feelings.
"Are you okay?" Kusum asked.
He blinked a few times before answering. "Of course." He pressed his lips together when they came up close to the green front door of Kusum's apartment. It was barely 11 o'clock.
"Well...this is me."
"You weren't kidding when you said you lived close to the theatre."
"In this city, I feel like I live next to everything." They both lightly laughed as she searched for her keys. "You can come in if you want, for a drink?"
Ronobir pondered observing the door and then looking at the woman in front of him. A part of him wanted to decline the offer and call it a night but going back to his place sulking wasn't something he was looking forward to either. Not to mention he was in desperate need of a drink. He instead accepted her offer which she happily reacted to when opening the door and turning on the light.
Her apartment was small and quaint but fitting since she lived by herself.
She put her bag down and began taking off her coat. "Sorry for the mess. I have hundreds of notes and learning plans to get through this weekend."
"I understand." He told her to take a seat on her sofa while looking over the room.
Kusum had disappeared into the kitchen to fetch the wine and two wine glasses. She quickly returned, taking a seat next to him and placing the glasses on the coffee table.
"Thank god for the weekend. I needed a break from college between grading papers and rude students. It started to take its toll." She cringed, pouring the wine into his glass.
Ronobir nodded. "Yeah."
She finished filling her glass. "To first dates." She held her glass up clanking it against his before they both took a sip of the drink. "Not bad." She laughed.
He nodded in agreement, taking another sip.
He was on his second glass by the time Kusum finished telling him her life story: growing up in Kolkata, her twin brother's rare allergy which influenced her decision to go into the biology field, her past relationships etc.
"At first it was my brother who was the reason I stayed in the city but I love it here and I have a comfortable life," Kusum explained. She was already almost finished with her third glass and very much buzzed.
"But enough about me, tell me more about you like the accent. Where are you from?"
He took a small sip. "I and my family are from Punjab but when my umm...father got a job in the Municipal corporation as a chief engineer we had to move here to Kolkata. Small towns aren't my thing so I decided to move to London after I was done with my studies."
"Wow. You've had to go through a lot of lifestyle changes." She teased.
"I suppose." He nodded.
"What did you do in London? I know you weren't always a teacher."
"I was or am an artist. The theatre I worked for got shut down so that's how I ended up here."
Kusum's eyes were dramatically saddened.
"It's nothing to feel sorry over, things happen. I still audition for the roles and when the next opportunity comes I'll take it." He claimed.
"Well I also collect rare herbs as a hobby, nothing serious just something to keep my mind occupied"
She smiled. "That's great, I'd love to see some of your work."
Ronobir took a sip of his drink dodging her comment. He wasn't comfortable showing his collection to others.
"Do you date often?" She boldly asked, surprising Ronobir. "It's just...Ratan may have mentioned you haven't seen anyone in quite some time."
"You and Ratan love discussing me, hm?"
"You're our favourite topic." She smirked, attempting to be flirtatious but it just made the situation more uncomfortable.
He coughed. "To answer your question, no I don't date often."
"But you're on one with me."
Ronobir shrugged. "You asked and I figured it could be fun."
She hummed scooting closer to him on the couch. "I'm glad you agreed. I'm usually not this forward but I've realized life is too short to not go after what you want."
Before Ronobir could even process what she said she caught him off guard by pressing her lips hard against his.
Mishti was having the worst time at the party. Pari was off somewhere chatting with almost everyone in the house while she was leaning on a wall bored, sipping on the same cup of beer from 2 hours ago. She wishes she could have as much fun as her friends and scope out the cute boys like she used to but it just didn't feel right anymore. All the boys here were the same. They'll get you a drink then try to get in your pants. It used to not bother her but now she was bored of the same thing, especially now that she's gotten a taste of something better.
Passion and desire. That's what she experienced with Ronobir and the longing in his eyes that made her know he was only about her. She missed that feeling of being wanted.
She missed him.
"There you are!" Rajdeep's presence made her eyes roll as he walked up to her. "When I saw Pari I knew you weren't far behind but I hadn't seen you all night."
"Well, I've been here. In this same spot all night." She commented.
"That's no way to enjoy a party." He stepped closer making Mishti uncomfortable.
"Not really in a party mood. I only came here for Pari."
"She's having a great time all by herself, maybe you should loosen up too." He said, placing his hands firmly on her hips.
Mishti pushed him away. "You're drunk..."
He ignored her, reaching out for her again, his hands hovering over her ass. She shoved him off of her again warning him to keep his hands off but when he tried again she slapped him right across the face.
Rajdeep groaned in pain holding his cheek and then staring back at her angrily. "What the hell?!"
"You didn't seem to get the hint." She grinned.
"You didn't mind me touching you at the sports event or any other time!"
She scoffed. "Seriously? It doesn't matter what happened in the past. If I say don't touch me then that means don't touch me!
"Right, and when does Mishti Khanna ever mean no?" He smirked.
She clenched her jaw before throwing the cup of beer in his face then pushed past him exiting the mansion. With tears in her eyes, she immediately pulled out her phone dialling the first person she could think of at this moment.
Ronobir was frozen, not sure how to respond to her eager kiss. This just didn't feel right, at all. One voice in his head was screaming at him that he should halt her actions while another voice was telling him to take advantage of it. Use Kusum as the distraction she's been from the beginning and stop dwelling over Mishti.
With that thought, he kissed her back. The lack of feeling in the kiss almost amazed him. He tried to feel something, anything by deepening the kiss with more force but there was nothing. She pushed her body more onto his, pressing him into the couch as she climbed on top of him.
His body went stiff.
This was wrong.
She wasn't Mishti and no matter how hard he tried to believe her dismal feelings towards him, he was still very much alive and he couldn't do this to her.
Ronobir grabbed Kusum's wrist when she ventured to his crotch area aiming for his belt. "Stop." He told her.
She detached from him breathless from her aggressive kissing. "What's wrong?"
"We can't do this."
She threaded her fingers through her dull blonde hair, blushing in embarrassment.
"I just thought..."
"I know...Look, it's not-"
"It's not you, it's me, right?" She climbed off of him sitting back on the cushion of the sofa deeply sighing. "Did I do something wrong?"
"No. No, Kusum, it's not your fault it's mine." He sighed.
"Is there someone else?" She asked. Ronobir nervously licked his lips, thankfully his phone began to ring before he could answer. He pulled the device out of his pocket stunned at the name that read across the screen.
"I'm sorry to do this but something's come up." He quickly rose off the sofa picking up his coat off the coat rack.
"Wait, you're leaving?"
"It's an emergency, I'm sorry. I'll see you Monday at work." He walked out the door before she could even reply, answering the phone while rushing back to his car.
"Mishti?"
"Hey." She said softly.
"Are you alright, sweety?"
She stayed silent.
"Mishti talk to me."
"I'm fine..." She sniffled.
He took notice of her tone and instantly flooded with concern. "Where are you?"
"I...I don't know why I called you, I'm sorry. You're on a date and-"
"Mishti tell me where you are." He interrupted.
She gulped. "I'm at a party...I only came because Pari but something happened and I just want to go home now but I have no idea where she is and she's been drinking-" She explained.
Ronobir finally arrived at his car, opening the driver seat door and starting the engine. "Text me the address." He said pulling off the curb.
"I just did."
"Got it, I'll be there shortly." He concluded by hanging up the phone.
Mishti waited outside in the cold for about 15 minutes before she noticed Ronobir's black SUV pull up. She gulped nervously about seeing him.
-Why did I even call him? Ugh.
He hastily got out of his car calling her name. Clearly, he forgot he was going to a party full of his students but he didn't care and neither did she, seeing him made her eyes well up. After the shock passed and before he completely exposed himself, she ran to him hurriedly. Mishti has never felt safer than right now being wrapped in his arms.
The hug was tight, warm and exactly what Mishti needed, what they both needed. She sobbed in his coat as he caressed her soft hair tenderly, getting lost in the moment for a second before remembering where they are. He pulled away from her slowly.
"Let's get you out of here." He told her leaving a quick kiss on her temple, leading her to his car by the small of her back. Thankfully the teenagers by the driveway were too drunk to even realize what was happening. Ronobir opened her door for her, waiting for her to get settled in so he could close it.
With them both now in the car he drove off. Mishti put the address to her house in his GPS before they left the party. It was a quiet ride, Mishti stared out of the window blankly the whole time while Ronobir's attention drifted back and forth between her and the road. He wanted to ask her why she called him and what happened but he decided not to press her about the subject at least not until they were closer to her house.
Eventually, they arrived on the street of her house. Ronobir parked a couple of houses down just in case her mom was home but he could still see it from their view. He set the engine off and turned in his seat towards the quiet girl.
"Nice house, very traditional but I like it." He said attempting to break the silence and ease the tension dominating the closed space of the vehicle.
Ronobir deeply sighed when she didn't react to him.
"Sorry for interrupting your date." She finally spoke.
Ronobir smirked. "I assure you, love you didn't interrupt anything."
Mishti raised an eyebrow in curiosity.
"She's a nice woman, she's just not the one for me."
"Too old?" She joked, making Ronobir softly chuckle.
She turned away from him again, sitting in her seat silent for a while before finally speaking again.
"Do you ever just think that there's not a single person in the world who loves you?" She slowly asked, still looking away. His eyebrows furrowed at her random question not understanding what she meant.
"Or even respects you or cares about you at all?" She continued.
"Mishti...what happened tonight?" He urged her not to be able to keep the question in any longer.
She finally looked at him with bloodshot eyes and tear-stained cheeks. He wanted to hurt whoever hurt her.
"It was nothing. Just Rajdeep being an asshole as usual." She said, wiping her face.
Ronobir wasn't convinced. "It was something if you called."
She glared at him briefly. "He tried to have his way with me and called me a slut because I said no."
Ronobir balled his fist together wishing he would've known earlier before leaving the house to give Rajdeep Thakur the beating he deserved. He reached out to touch her but she dodged his actions.
"He's not the first guy to think that about me, I'm sure you thought the same at one point."
His face hardened. "I would never think that of you."
"A student seducing her teacher didn't scream 'slut' to you? I find that hard to believe." Mishti spat.
"Well believe it because that thought has never crossed my mind about any woman."
She scoffed.
He sighed. "Mishti I've never thought less of you. No one deserves to be treated with disrespect, I need you to understand that. That you deserve more and better."
"I had more and better...but then I pushed it away because...I was scared." She said faintly. Ronobir observed her behaviour, he could tell how nervous she was talking about this but she was doing it anyway.
Mishti was finally letting him in.
"Scared because...no one has ever given a crap about me. My mom works shift after shift so she doesn't have to go home to an empty bed crying over my absentee father who left- us for another woman." She sighed. "Can't find love at home so I sought elsewhere for it but that ended up being just as bad because teenage boys are shit."
Ronobir softly smirked at the last comment.
"People come and go in my life, that's just how it is and I'm always the one who gets hurt in the end. I was used to not having anyone there for me or even wanting me...I don't know I guess I freaked.
Because you are the first guy in my life who cared. Who wants more than just my body and then you were saying you wanted an actual relationship with me which means long term but there's no way we can be together..." Her eyes softened as she took a breath, her words getting caught in her throat.
Ronobir unbuckled his seatbelt facing her completely. She gazed at him confused when he unbuckled her for her as well, cradling her face in his hands.
"Do you want to be with me, Mishti? Don't worry about what you think can't happen between us, I just need you, to be honest with me." He asked in a serious tone.
This was it. He's putting it all out on the table again for her to do the taking. Instinctively she was willing to allow that same fear to creep up on her again, to strap her down to miserable loneliness. But how could she possibly look this man in the eye and tell him she doesn't want him? How can she see the obvious care and longing in his eyes and not trust he won't hurt her? Ronobir was it, no matter how unconventional it may be.
Mishti nervously bit her bottom lip nodding. "Yes." She whispered. Ronobir's mouth was on her's the minute the word escaped her lips.
The kiss was full of desperation and passion, nothing compared to how he felt when he was with Kusum. Mishti's lips were soft and delicate as they moved against his. Everything about this felt right. The uneasiness they both had been feeling all day was due to the lack of each other. She felt a huge weight lifting off her chest. She finally confided in him, being as open with him as he's been with her.
Mishti moaned when his tongue explored the seam of her mouth before entangling it with hers. She pushed herself more towards him, needing to feel him close to her. Ronobir got the hint, helping her gracefully climb over the console that separated them.
They never detached from the heated kiss even as Mishti moved over to straddle his lap. Ronobir pulled his seat back a tad so they could be more comfortable. Her hands pressed on his chest leaning over him, their lips moving tenderly and rhythmically together. Coming up for air, her lips and tongue travelled down his neck kissing and sucking his skin eagerly. He groaned at the feeling before she kissed her way up back to his mouth, loving the taste his lips allowed. Ronobir's fingers got lost in her hair tugging her more towards him as if she wasn't close enough.
They both smiled into the kiss with pure happiness that only the two can give each other. Being together wasn't going to be easy, hell it was going to be brutal but if they get to experience this kind of joy and passion together then it will be worth it.
"Go on a date with me," Ronobir whispered against her mouth. Mishti pulled back looking down at him with a small grin tugging on her lips.
"Okay."