Things have been different the past couple of weeks. Mishti felt like the world was crashing on her shoulders that next day in class when Ronobir announced his departure. She had to harshly bite her lip to stifle any sob or tear threatening to escape her body. Not only did she not want to cause a scene in class but also didn't want Ronobir to feel guilty about leaving.
She told him she was okay with this, hell she was the one who encouraged him because it was the right thing to do. Love is supposed to be selfless, right? Mishti hasn't told him her feelings and at least for now, she wasn't going to. He already had so much going on with the move and she honestly wasn't looking forward to that conversation with him.
As he promised, Ronobir was determined to spend every second he could with Mishti but that wasn't as easy as it sounded. When he wasn't teaching he was packing or on the phone planning with his friend back in London. It was nice seeing him so excited about going back, Mishti could tell by his tone and actions that the anticipation of going back was killing him. He looked happy, that's all she cared about even at the expense of her own. She's never cared about someone this much but she's also never been in love before either.
Ronobir wanted to spend time with Mishti tonight but she "had assignments to finish". To be honest it was becoming more and more difficult to see and be with him knowing he'll be gone soon. She didn't want to constantly tease herself with his presence because, in the end, she would always feel alone.
"Hey!" Pari barged into her bedroom catching Mishti completely off guard. Her eyes were bloodshot as she quickly wiped the tears off her cheeks. Pari looked at her sister questionably.
"Mish?"
"I didn't know you were stopping by," Mishti said, her voice slightly hoarse due to her crying.
Closing the door behind her Pari walked over to the bed Mishti was sitting on. "Mauli Aunty let me in on her way out. I thought maybe we could work on this pre-calc assignment together."
"Umm I already finished mine but you can look at it." She said, pulling out the paper from her book, and handing it to her.
"Thanks." The short girl pressed her lips together nervously, debating whether or not to mention her sister's bleak mood. Mishti handed her the paper without even looking at her.
"Okay, Mishti, what's going on with you?" She began. "You've been moody a lot lately at college, your captain of the badminton team and you've been the complete opposite of cheery. That's unlike you and you were crying right before I walked in here."
"Pari-"
"I'm not leaving until you talk to me so you might as well give in." Pari threatened, sitting on the twin-sized bed with her sister.
Mishti couldn't tell Pari what was wrong without having to tell her about the whole affair. The thought of finally being able to spill her guts to someone was tempting. She's known Pari her whole life and trusted her but...
She shook her head. "I can't."
"When have we ever kept secrets from each other? You're my best friend, Mish. You know you can tell me anything, I'm the last person who would judge you."
Mishti sniffled, finally looking up. She couldn't hold this in anymore and the only person she could discuss this with she didn't feel like seeing. Pari was her friend and she was willing to listen and whatever happens but she felt she was going to explode.
Taking a deep breath she moved on the bed to face her. "Okay there's something I need to tell you, about Prof. Chatterjee but you can't tell anyone, not even Ragini."
Pari raised an eyebrow. "So cryptic, what is he a vampire?"
"I'm serious, Pari! You can't say anything, I'm trusting you."
"Care what is so important about Prof. Chatterjee that it has to be a secret?" She smirked.
She bit her lip nervously. "Because it's about me and Prof. Chatterjee."
Pari still seemed confused for a minute until the light bulb lit up so brightly in her head in realization.
"Oh...ohhh! Wow!" She exclaimed, making Mishti deeply blush. "I mean...Mish, I knew you were ambitious but this one tops them all. You lucky bitch."
Mishti sighed in relief not only at the reaction but also that she finally told someone.
"Prof. Chatterjee is hot! Do you have any idea how jealous everyone in our class would be if they knew? The whole college would be jealous, hell I'm jealous!" She laughed and Mishti laughed along with her.
"He's so mysterious and sexy and word on the street is that he doesn't date much, now I know it's because he's dating you."
Mishti playfully grinned.
"Exactly how long has this been going on?"
"Kinda since his first-day teaching."
Pari looked impressed. "Wow. I'm your best friend and your sister how didn't I figure it out? So...is he good?"
"Pari!" She playfully threw a pillow at her, increasing the laughter filling the room.
"It's a simple question that friends are supposed to talk about."
Her mouth formed into a straight line trying to hold back a grin that would definitely give away proof of their mind-blowing sex. "I'm not talking about that with you."
"You must really like him, you've never been modest about sex."
Mishti's joyous expression fell as she nodded. "No one has ever made me happier."
"Then why are you crying over him?" She curiously asked.
Mishti felt the tears building again. Talking and laughing with Pari was a good distraction from her sorrow but just like any distraction, the bliss was only temporary.
She brushed her curls to one side, sighing as the tears began to gradually stream down her face. "He's leaving, Pari."
Pari wanted to slap herself in the face for forgetting his announcement in class a few days ago. It was all starting to make sense since she noticed Mishti's mood shift around the same time.
"Oh yeah. Right...umm...well why don't you just ask him to stay?"
"It's not that simple."
"It is that simple! You're sad he's leaving but he's going anyway?"
"I'm the one who encouraged him to go."
Pari furrowed her eyebrows and scrunched her nose. "Wait what? Care you've been looking miserable because of this, why would you do that instead of asking him to stay?"
"Because I love him!" Mishti shouted silently thanking God her mom wasn't home. This was the first time she said the words out loud and now she felt she couldn't hold back any of her emotions. It was all coming out like word vomit.
"I didn't mean to...fall for him. Things were so much simpler when we were just having sex but I started liking him, a lot. He is the first guy I've ever been with or known to appreciate me and see me as more than a piece of ass. He respects me and makes me feel wanted and loved..." Her voice got caught in her throat as she continued talking.
"I thought maybe I was finally getting my happy ending but then I saw that job offer letter and it all faded away again. I could have easily asked him to stay and deep down I knew he wanted me to but that's not what he would've truly wanted in the end and his happiness means a lot to me...I can't be selfish with him, it doesn't even feel right that's why I told him to go."
Her brown eyes clouded with tears as her cries hysterically mixed with her voice. "But it hurts, it hurts so bad just the thought of maybe not ever seeing him again! That he'll start his life over and probably forget about me and what we had."
Pari felt helpless. She didn't know how to comfort her friend if she even wanted comfort. All she could do was let her finish ranting knowing surely there was a lot on her mind if the only person she could have spoken to about this was him.
"I can't even hang out with him without wanting to cry. I tried so hard to act like I'm okay, but I'm not, I'm really not!" Pari wrapped her arms around a shaking Mishti letting her cry into the hug. She held her close, patting her back softly.
"Why did I have to fall in love with him? Why did I have to fall in love with him?" She whispered to herself, her voice low and soft as she finally began coming down from the hysteria. The relief she felt finally talking to someone about this was unreal and she couldn't have felt more at ease than she did now. Her breathing slowed down gradually going back to normal as she pulled away from her more than supporting a best friend.
Pari sighed. "Mish, I'm sorry you're going through this and that you didn't think you could tell me about your relationship sooner."
"I just figured the fewer people who knew about it the better."
She nodded. "Does he know that you love him?"
"No. And he's not going to know." Mishti quickly answered.
She licked her lips. "Okay, I know you'll disagree and be incredibly stubborn about what I'm going to say but I think you should tell him. Not just the love part but be honest about how you actually feel about this whole situation."
"Pari, I can't."
"You don't want him staying because his happiness is important, I get it but how happy do you think he'll feel if he finds out how devastated you've been? Men can't catch a hint if it hits them in the face."
Mishti softly chuckled.
"If you're not honest with him he'll never know and you never know what could happen but keeping it all to yourself isn't healthy and does you no favors."
She knew Pari had a point but no matter if she decided to tell him or not, he was going to London.
"Thanks Pari," Mishti said softly with a smile.
She smiled back giving her one last tight hug. "Everything will work out, I know it will be okay?"
Mishti nodded in response after the hug, wiping her face with her sleeve.
"Now, onto more important topics...like his skills in the bedroom for example. He looks like the kinky type." She teased making Mishti blush and smother her face in the pillows.
"You say the apartment isn't that small, what does that exactly mean in Tapan?" Ronobir asked over the phone while packing a box.
"It's nice I promise you, let's just say it's definitely an upgrade from the place you had before." His friend replied.
"A bloody bathroom stall is an upgrade from what I had before."
The comment made Tapan chuckle lightly. "You'll love it well at least tolerate it for the time being and after a couple of showings you'll probably be able to afford something better."
He smirked. "I'm kidding. I appreciate all you've done for Tapan, it means more than you know."
"You're not going soft on me are you?" He teased Ronobir and rolled his eyes as he heard a knock on his door.
He still had the phone pressed to his ear as he walked across the room to his front door. When he opened it his features softened at the unexpected presence of Mishti. His smile grew as he stepped to the side to let her in, closing the door behind her.
"Tapan, something has come up I'll call you later," Ronobir said before hanging up.
"You didn't have to do that."
"When your beautiful girlfriend unexpectedly shows up at your door, you never keep her waiting." He smirked, lightly kissing her. She's going to miss how his lips felt moving against hers, soft and tender but with a spark.
Mishti smiled up at him, detaching her lips before scanning the room and noticing so many things already packed up into boxes.
"You're already almost cleaned out huh?"
"I guess I did pack faster than expected." He sighed. "Means I have more time for breaks."
She couldn't read what he meant in his mischievous grin before he scooped her off her feet carrying her bridal style. Mishti uncontrollably laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck so she wouldn't fall as he carried her over to his bed.
Her giggles were muffled by his eager lips the moment she back hit the mattress. His tongue teased her upper lip begging for entrance that she unhesitatingly allowed. The kiss was passionate and deep as Mishti tangled her fingers in his hair needing to feel him closer. Ronobir groaned before his mouth kissed down from her jaw to her neck. Sucking and biting her skin hotly, Mishti couldn't stay still. Her head was full of utter bliss from just his kisses alone, she forgot why she was here in the first place. Her attempt at easing him off failed when she subconsciously moaned at his lips reclaiming hers and sneaky hands venturing up her dress. His fingers teased the seam of her panties while tongues tangoed with each other.
Mishti wanted nothing more than to have him take her hard right now on his bed and lord knew she needed it but they had a lot to talk about that couldn't wait any longer.
"Ronny ." His name came out more as a moan which only encouraged him. Mishti closed her eyes briefly, getting lost in the moment of his touch firing up her skin before she returned to her senses.
She found the strength to lightly push on his chest with her hands creating distance between their bodies.
"What's wrong?" He asked her worriedly.
She pressed her lips together moving up from under his body now sitting on the edge of the bed. He turned around sitting in the spot right next to her.
"Mishti?" He looked at her warily.
She took a deep breath. "We said we were going, to be honest with each other right, no matter what?"
Now Ronobir was more confused about where she was going with this.
"It's about London..." She began.
Ronobir swallowed anticipating what she was going to say.
"I haven't been completely honest with you about how I feel..." Mishti bit her bottom lip trying to think of how to say this without seeming like she contradicted herself.
He lifted her chin up with his finger and she could already feel the knot tying in her stomach just from his gaze alone.
"I'm not okay with you leaving." Her tone is low.
Ronobir felt his heart drop as he looked into her saddened eyes before she quickly snatched away from him.
"Look at me." He softly demanded bringing her face back towards him. "That's what you want? You want me to stay?"
"Ronobir .."
"Tell me, Mishti."
She pushed his hand away from her shaking her head.
"Mish-" He tried grabbing her but she stood up from the bed.
"No. No, Ronny, this is why I didn't tell you! I knew you were going to second guess your decision because of me."
He stood up too. "Of course, I would, I want to be with you don't you understand?"
"Yes, and I want to be with you but missing out on this great opportunity just isn't worth it."
Ronobir pulled her to him, their bodies pressed against each other and breaths fanning each other's faces. "Don't say that, you're worth more than you know to me. If you don't want me to go to London then I won't go, all you have to do is say it."
"That's not what I want."
"But you're not okay with me leaving."
She sighed. "I'm going to miss you, a lot and I'm not sure when I'll get used to you being gone but knowing you're living your dream again will at least ensure it's not in vain."
He faintly grinned. "Sweety, I appreciate your selflessness. I really do but my dream isn't complete with my dream girl being there with me. And if she wants me to stay I will." He said tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
Mishti shook her head. "Stop."
Ronobir dropped his hand from her face with a now blank expression. "I don't understand you Mishti. First, you tell me to go to London now you're saying you're not okay with me leaving and then I ask if my staying is what you want and you tell me I should leave again, why? Why is he hell-bent on me leaving?"
"It's not like that." She said softly.
"Then what is it like I'm confused. London and the talent company mean a big deal to me but you're a part of my life now too, Mishti. The decision isn't set in stone nor easy for me to make but having your honest input could change the outcome. Remember our talk in the car that night?"
-How could she forget it?
She nodded slowly.
"Don't worry about what you think can't happen or can't work, just be honest with me Mishti." His voice was so desperate it made her heart drop.
Letting someone you love go wasn't easy, she was slowly but surely figuring that out. Of course, she wanted him to stay, how was that even a question but she also knew that him putting the breaks on his life because of her didn't sit well with her either. Mishti wished things could be different, that she could just run off with him to London and they could continue their happy ending there...but this was no fairytale and love wasn't black and white.
Ronobir stared at her patiently waiting for some kind of response as she just stood still in front of him. She took a deep breath finally looking up at him. His beautiful trusting eyes reminded her why she felt this way about him, why he was so important to her.
"I love you," Mishti whispered. The words snuck out and she was in shock herself that she said it.
Ronobir's eyes widened almost to capacity as he processed the three words that slipped out of her mouth.
"What did you say?" He asked almost in disbelief.
She gulped nibbling on her bottom lip. The first time was an accident, now she had to repeat it, making her breath hitch. But there was no one else she would rather say these words to and he was the only man who'll hear them from her.
Mishti stepped closer to him. "I love you, Ronobir ."
His lips were on her's in an instant, eager and needy as if he was inhaling every last bit of her. He didn't say it back, he didn't have to because she already knew. As always his actions spoke louder than his words.
The rough kiss easily granted his tongue access to her mouth making them both moan. Mishti sucked on Ronobir 's bottom lip seductively as she brought her hands up to both sides of his face. They both were desperate for this, for each other they needed this moment and her confession tied their passion together like a red bow.
Ronobir walked them backward until Mishti's back hit the wall, he swallowed her moan with a fiery kiss. Coming up for much-needed air, Ronobir kissed her cheek then kissed down the side of her neck. He cuffed the side he wasn't paying attention to keeping her in place. Her hips subconsciously lifted making contact with his hard bulge. Their lower bodies slowly but deliciously grind into each other; the friction making them both groan. She felt him smirk against her skin as he added more pressure.
"Ronny." She moaned at the feel of his teeth nipping her skin and his cool wet tongue licking over the wound.
He kissed his way back up to her mouth not wanting to waste another second not tasting her lips. Mishti's arms were around his neck while his hands were bunching up her dress.
"Ask me to stay." He breathed against her lips.
"What?" She breathlessly asked.
He looked into her eyes cradling her face in his hands, caressing her cheek with his thumb. "Ask me to stay, Mishti."
-He always had the worst timing.
Her words were what meant most to him in this situation. It was a bit overwhelming for him to put his future in his 18-year-old girlfriend's hands but she knew she was making the right decision for them both.
Mishti caressed his face gently, loving how he closed his eyes briefly, feeling at peace from her slightest touch. He grabbed her hand and kissed her palm making her grin.
"I love you, Ronobir Chatterjee."
He'll never get tired of hearing her say that.
"This news wasn't easy for me to tackle, I put on a brave face for you because I'm so happy and proud of you. I don't want to see you leave and not be with me anymore but this just wouldn't feel right. I have to let you go, I love you enough to do that." Her voice shaky as tears reformed.
Ronobir caught her falling teardrop with his thumb. The lump in his throat was evident as he tried to swallow down his emotions. He hated seeing her like this, sad and hurt and especially him being the cause of it. He'd give anything to see that beautiful Mishti Khanna smile on her face right now.
She wiped her tears away as they kept dropping. "I don't even know why I'm crying right now, I'm happy for you I am..."
Ronobir deeply sighed, rubbing his hands down her arms. "Doing the right thing isn't always easy."
"Tell me about it."
He kissed her slightly bruised pink lips deeply but briefly. "If two people are meant to be together, they'll find their way back." He whispered.
Mishti stayed silent in her sobs as he pulled her body closer to his, their chests tightly meeting.
He leaned his forehead against hers, closing his eyes as he held her close, inhaling her scent. He didn't want to let her go but he didn't want to stay either. Why did things have to get so complicated? Why couldn't they just be happy? They would depart knowing they loved each other and that what they had was something no one else could understand. It was unconventional but it was them and nothing could take that away.
"Stay with me tonight?" Ronobir hesitatingly asked, opening his eyes and staring down at her.
"Okay."
1 week later...
"My god can you walk any slower?!" Soundarya shouted.
Ronobir hung up his phone, shoving it in his pocket. "Oh, I'm sorry, sister. I just needed to make sure my boxes were shipped safely, it was nothing important at all." He sarcastically replied, making her roll her eyes.
"Can we just hurry?"
"What's the rush? Our flight doesn't even board for another 15 minutes and it's not like we're not already here."
She scoffed. "Look I only flew down to this trashy town for you in the first place, I would very much like to get back to the big city as soon as possible thank you."
Ronobir chuckled. "Yeah..." He drifted off scanning the busy airport thoroughly.
Soundarya sighed observing him. "Ronny, she's not coming."
Ronobir looked back at his concerned sister. He was hoping to see Mishti before he left, and she told him she would. As bothered as he was he also understood, it wasn't easy for either of them. That last night they spent together was full of passionate lovemaking and eternal promises. They promised never to forget each other but not hold onto each other. To live their lives fully. Move on, meet people and develop new friendships and romances but do not discourage the possibility of them seeing each other again one day. More importantly, they would always love and care for each other.
"I know." He muttered.
Soundarya was sympathetic. Though she didn't necessarily condone their relationship she couldn't deny how she's never seen her brother happier. She herself was never lucky in love but she knew what love was and knew that's what Ronobir had with Mishti. She grew a sense of respect for Mishti, instead of begging him to stay like a selfish brat she let him go. Being a barely adult didn't mean she was a complete nuisance after all.
She softly placed her hand on his shoulder giving him a light smile.
"Going soft on me, little sister?" He joked with a smirk.
Soundarya shoved his shoulder playfully, rolling her eyes as he laughed. "Let's just go before I hijack the plane and leave you stranded here."
"You wouldn't dare." He smirked.
"Quit underestimating me, brother." She teasingly raised an eyebrow before picking up her luggage and walking to their gate. Ronobir smiled before checking his phone. Wishful thinking that Mishti left him any kind of message, he made sure to remember to text her when he landed just so she knows. He sighed picking up his bag off the floor and following his sister to their boarding plane.