It became more and clearer to me-, on how life-like the fuckening things here really be.
These humanoid mobs weren't named Pig-men just for looking like their bacon buddies.
These fuckers had tags and individual names to which my nose could not have ever oinked in pronouncing nor thine fingers versed and knowing in oinking their names in ink.
And-,
I find it best to quickly retract my charred broccoli head back grabbing the core as gentle I could and hid from down below the steep- in hopes that the thirsty looking Pig-men below would stop bothering about my measly me.
"Fuck! Did they see me? They didn't maybe, your too many and *piggy* please don't see me!!!" near a panic, I wasn't sure peace would be an option and I wasn't too keen on taking them all on, they were amounting to near dozens of oinks and in a total their oinking ranks dwarfed my little rank by too oinking much.
Motheroinking pigs!
"Please don't notice me senpais!" as I laid; as flat as I could amongst the grass beside the dent, standing seemed a bad idea, 'I'm blending in.' was what I thought but then a rather peculiar landmark so to speak smashed me a scare, "My Afro!" seething teeth then cursed at the wisp.
Vein webbed eyes of red, in its fuming anger they roamed and spied the many bushes of green and dry yellow around the wyrm's toilet and me an experience thinker for eighteen years figured, 'This just might do it.'
As do snakes I slithered and wriggled barenack towards the nearest bushes along the dent, 'Good going shoulders.' burnt hair took it's place amongst the flora, my body deserves to be complimented, 'There ya go feet!'
But still my body was way too visible and I need to hide my awesome.
Mundane as it might seemed but to a vegetable as I, this slithering movement was still heaven and pleasing.
Still my body was like a sore thumb, thinking back Oh! How appearances are judged based on where you are fore my hair was clearly the sorest of thumbs but now it was fitting with the bushes whilst the beautifully tall body was sticking out a sore thumb.
With two a puffed cheeks, I arched my feet towards the head and rolled and landed a somersault, face first I now blended in. "Now I'm just simply a burnt bush…" I sighed with nervous wrinkles for a smile at both sides of the lips as I planted my afro among the bushes.
An impeccable camouflage it was.
Save for the trail of blood I had left behind.
Little seconds pass and just as I nearly calmed my rapid beating heart- I was shown the green skinned orcish piggies flawless, sentient design.
Intelligence to the point of perfect coordination.
These fuckers sent up a duo of scouts way ahead before they pulled down the wyrm, which they did, some-fucking-how and down it crashed it did.
A plan executed in perfect tandem as it would seem-,
I laid face down after I- like turtles do in danger retracted the neck away from the edge, with little a time for a nervous breath out I heard rustles of grasses, maybe leaves just feet away from the right and down from the climb leading up to here; the wyrm's toilet.
I raised my afro a bit, I needed to spy an eye to make any appropriate reaction to any which might occur.
An intrigued raised brow dreadfully spied two slightly leaner Pig-men, "Oh! Fuck!" I was spooked, "You didn't see me right?" like a whistle I whispered, slowly humming, "I'm just a black bush.." I pleaded to the deity of camouflage, thinking back on how I tried to fit in with the bushes- if the piggies saw me do it won't I look fucking ridiculous? Was what I thought.
With black rugged manes they both came out of hiding from among the bushes in the edge and their yellow eyes, black lined pupils which stares at yours truly clearly dictates I was not a black bush as I heard;
*OINK!*
Oinked one of the two as if he was saying, "You ain't a bush!" as three rugged large fingers held a dagger which it used to point at yours truly and a tusk of whatever in the other.
I could not read its name it was not possible but I could see their ranks, a whopping Archon and the other was the same.
Dressed in strapped thick-hide pauldrons, and a slab of rugged cut steel in the belly also held by leather straps.
Flimsy they seemed, they were hanging free and swaying with each step they took-, closer and closer to me.
*OINK!*
Went the other, 'A-are you twins?' was what I thought, the knowing aspect that this is a game still plugged me a calm state of mind yet the aspect of it's realism entices grey emotions such as; sweaty nervousness and physically the occasional shaking body in freight; saying this does not mean I was shaking.
"*Oink – oink – oink?*" the other piggy oinked, it felt as if it was peacefully asking a question.
'Uhh! It's like I can feel his vibe?' I pondered, cheering Muller for making this game.
Like a cotton headed caterpillar I caterpillar-ed out of my impeccable hiding spot, 'This is somehow shameful.' One might claim of me but Nay! I enjoyed every possible motion and twists the body could endure.
Then;
Slowly I sat upright, all the while me eyes were on them as the both of them kept on oinking their oinkers.
They felt on guard as my mind told me, rather then being bloodthirsty and savage they just felt on guard, 'Maybe cause I killed the wyrm?'
Closer now they were and Oink they went in clear full sentences.
"Uhh! I can- I can't understand.." I said, rather annoyed were my brows, aching the hands to jerk around and hopefully tell them, "I can't *oinking* understand you?" I voiced, in words and actions and in nose, an Oink, a drama of pure perfection, standing my little naked feet with a finger pushing the nose in my next mighty *oink*.
However;
*OINKK!!*
Shrieked the two in unison, this particular oink somehow to me was comprehensible.
Raised weapons and mean-piggy-mugged faces.
Yes! It was something in the oink that I had said, "Uh-Oh!" I nodded twice and once slowly but only after when my squiggly, teary eyes saw the Pig-men erupt in anger.
"Yeaaa… you're mad!" I slowly sang with some chuckles for a chorus.
And when I saw them took-, two a wide stance.
And an Oink, a battle roar.
It was hard to miss their oink of anger when both of them started flushing out their auras.
But Lo! Powers and auras and mine was OP.
"Oh!" I then exclaimed, a near gasp- Okay! A gasp with sarcasm and a classy set of opened palm to cover the spiteful mouth, "Powers!" I chortled, not one to fret on the rank differences for I got this OP power, still their numbers were a far shot for me but fucking all hecks the confident broccoli got his moxie back right then when I saw and smell the pigs auras and their manas fluctuating inside, the scent of their battle stances jogged me to suddenly remember-, My OP-ness and that was to me a huge backbone support, with a pompous smile, "Well then.. it's a dance."
I accepted the challenge.
I stood a tall five foot four as me own aura flushed in a perfect spherical bubble.
My rather beautiful specks of mana, little light-flies of the all-colors they fluttered inside my aura.
The Pigs stood stale in their place as I did so.
"Second thoughts?" I teased with a smug little smirk.
The intelligent pigs knew to be on guard for they was sure to see that I was the one who felled the wyrm, the blood was fresh and the body still warm, the grasses near the dent I had made were marked with fresh little print of blood from my little feet.
Over confidence showered me and thinking back my immediate start to this new life had maketh me a tad battle hungry.
"Suit yourselves.. Here I come!"
I took a step, "Here comes something.." I said, leaving bloody marks with every little steps.
In spite of my glorious, impeccable talks what comes after I activated my powers was shame, unmotivated, lazy idea of a power.
With a sudden poof of bluish smoke covering the whole of my body, in a spit the smoke fades and there I was standing, a mighty white chicken with a bucket shell protruding in the feathery back, one would never miss the small stubborn afro of black on thine chicken head.
Odd I felt, feathery and light with a strange looseness and flexibility in the neck, I could twist the neck past what would usually kill a man.
Turning my chicken neck at my back to check myself of what me power grants; a bucket shell with a writing on it.
Slowly I read, 'Unbreakable' was painted with red in this shell of a bucket, and the last 'e' was fading, it was now hard to find comforting safety in it.
And to all these white feathers me cursed, 'I'm a chicken turtle bucket thing!?!'
*Pok-kawkK!*
A Pok-kawk of cursing and I need not say more, that would suffice.
Then suddenly;
I just simply ran a crazed, twirly eyed chicken in the slender elevated land, the land which was the wyrm's toilet.
To the left and quickly back to the far right I ran about-, feathers plucked and fell as I flapped thine wings in a massive chickening panic.
I was chickening amok.
The two pigs stared on, then at each other and then to my chicken bucket shell, with no clue of what to make of.
Oink they went, Pok-kawk I answered.
OINK!
POK-KAWK!
OINK!!
POK-KAWK!!!
Verbally now, we were a match.
I was here near a rock, vanished somewhere among the shrubs and appeared with a loud shriek in the dent, in the air as feathers fell, I was there, here and everywhere-, littler chickeny feet rather fit.
I was not far-off from confusion as the pigs, I was just chickening amok.
I could very well see and sense and feel as do thine normal but a chicken with a bucket shell for use in combat?
I would chicken about instead any time of any given day.
If I could've been able to speak then, I would comment on how unfair it was to send a chicken with two thighs, coming ready with a bucket to boot. I was pre-prepared chicken ready to be served.
So lost in the panic, it did not occur to me when my little chickening feet made off the cliff and down the same fall where the wyrm poos and falls.
*POK?*
I cooed slowly coming to a slow realization, when the feet finally felt and noticed empty spaces for steps-, I was already not too far off from smashing into the ground when little eyes stared down under.
*POOOOK*
Another longer one from the red ugly balls that hangs on the throat-, yelling no from my chicken'y throat, stretching my slender feathery neck as far as could and shaking the little head, "NO!" to the pig-men down below who was readying its club-, both hands reeling back for a mad swing, its grunting snout dictates it was aiming for me, and that was when I made the noise.
*Pok-kawkK!*
I with this weird instinct shriveled the ballsy throat and all of my chicken head, down to the wings and tail inside the bucket and the world then heard a loud thwack, a clang of beaten metal and a broken sound of a log breaking, possibly the club of the pig.
This shell stood true to what was written on it.
All to my chicken eyes saw was darkness inside the bucket, I felt no shock, no nothing but a rather uneasy comfort, I was getting drowsy with nigh a yawn, maybe a yawn, don't think our chicken kind could yawn, "This feels a little longer.." I mumbled to my power's duration but as the same blue poof of a cloud came I was free of my chicken body but then I see-, another delight of a never-fun flying tour of the blurry scenery of the game.
For the second time and not even an hour passed from first my descent, I was sent spinning, an uncalled for cartwheels in the falling air with no brakes and blown away to butt-fuck nowhere and further deep and deeper more into the the forest.
Winds and co you know it all.
Nauseous and green was my face, little lips and bulging cheeks held back a glob of disgust tightly-, my puke.
With wild a guess, gulping back the puke much cursed by thine taste buds, I took a random time in deciding when to let out my now possibly despised power, be far from ground I might be or from any or no crashes I now fret not to use thine power as thus was more sick of the spinning.
"Something goooooooodddd~" I hollered as I spun uncontrollably.
Suddenly my limbs, four of them detached themselves from the body, so was my neck and my head, I was now floating in place in the current moment of when I used thine power, the force of the pig's swing was just simply non-existent in an instant.
"Another weird one.. What now??" I grunted with frustrated lips blowing raspberries.
Sickened eyes, dark baggy smudges round the blues already prepared the lids to fathom all bullshitting surprises from first I was let heard the nature of my power however the series of luck and the sheer power of my power was one that would make anyone curve an intolerable smile, wide in their narcissistic faces, walking through hell- chest out broad and pumped with a 'can-do' attitude.
Whatever and any kinds of all kinds was to be expected when using this power and now this whatever? To me?! I was not surprised and when thinking is all that you are limited to, you rather think fast in any situation.
Random was the case in my power but the randoms I got although bizarre were rather always curiously helpful so in-turn and since Me!- A master of thinking, a thinker but only I was not made of marbles, I was in the flesh.
So a thinker, I was prepped with solutions for what come may.
And-,
There I was in the sky, in the middle of my nigh visible aura with floating limbs, a head , buttocks and torso.
No blood dripping and no grotesque signs of dismemberment.
Just some black things covering the joints.
Suddenly I was flabbergasted, as all my limbs, all four of them turned white and thin, like a sheet of paper quickly creased and folded they did, all into white regular paper airplanes just right after they divorced themselves from my whole.
Then my buttocks did the same, then the body too and finally now my head where eyes popped out in the tip of the paper-head-plane, in this form too the afro did not disappear.
I was now a fleet of paper planes, seven planes to be exact.
"This is taking it too far… its just as I expected ya shitty WISP!!!" I growled to its bizarre nature of random bullshitery.
But somehow it always came in clutch, saving me life and all, 'Maybe it's the will of the demon helping?' of this thought I was not yet sure.
Until thine popped eyes fret over the result if I were to fall from this height and I re-figured, "Four fucking seconds!!" I cursed to my limitation.
Hurried now I was immediately focused on a course set down, with a swoosh the measly planes nearly broke a little sound barrier, all six of the planes followed the head's lead.
A nose dive straight to the green grounds below.
"One!"
I started the count and I spied a running stream far yonder below.
"Two!"
I was still far-off from the ground and slowly I bank a wing hoping to make it to the river until,
"Three….."
The height would still crush even my soul, my throat would gulped but they did not exist in this current form.
"Four!"
This would still break bones.
"I'm not gonna make itt…." I panicked, "Luck please come back… rape me for all I care just come backkk!!!"I begged, teary eyes for pity to lady luck.
Then-,
*POOF*
With a blue smoke, I was reverted back to my old and tall body, black afro hair and all.
Only difference was- I was head down and slightly in control of the fall and I was sure a drop from this far and speed would still hurt even in water but aren't I a descent with peak human body with an indestructible hairdo?
"I cann makee it, TRUST IN THE AFRO!"
As though will was an engine-, the veins, in all my neck and body revved it as hard as they could.
Aiming for the hard-wet embrace of water hopefully to cushion.
I was aware that the body I piloted was fit as a magical fiddle and strong and mighty as magical rocks with the hair.
Aligned and straight- I was now to the river below.
"Suck in that gut!!" I alarmed thee-self, closed eyes prepared the cheeks with two bulging full pockets of air.
*SPLASH*
With tall bursts of water shooting around as I dove in deep, yet the ears heard none.
All there was and all I knew then and after was blank and black.