From the moment my father raised his voice, I couldn't help rolling my eyes. But the gods didn't seem to have been kind to me, because my streak of bad luck just didn't seem to end.
"Now answer me!" My father's voice literally echoed through the hallway.
"Now don't yell at her like that!" my mother suddenly interjected, joining us with a sigh.
"I'll yell at that snotty brat as much as I want to. Stay out of it woman!" my father now yelled at my mother as well.
"If you yell at me like that in front of the kids one more time, you'll be sleeping outside with the chickens tonight where you belong!" she countered, now giving my brother an angry look as well. "And you stop teasing your sister! You're a grown man so act accordingly!"
My father didn't seem to like my mother's telling off. He angrily grabbed his jacket that was hanging just a few steps away from us and left the house in a rage.
"Zao! Behave yourself your sister has her divine blessing tomorrow. A little more sensitivity would be in order. Understood?" my mother asked, to which Zao just nodded, turned aside and quickly disappeared into his room.
"And now for you Yona! You don't think I'm going to let you off that easily, do you?" my mother asked, still stern. Affected, I looked down at the floor. I couldn't talk back to my mother. She would ignore me for days and make me do the hardest work if I angered her too much. Accordingly, I lowered my gaze and avoided eye contact.
"You don't think I'm going to let you off that easily either, do you?" she repeated. And then she started lecturing me about my behavior.
But I remained silent. It wasn't worth it.
***
I sat on my bed, surrounded by dirty clothes and books. There was so much stuff on my small bed that I could barely move. At times I would need to crawl to the other side to get out of it.
As I sat there in a miserable mood, I thought about how my brother would marry the village slut the following day.
I was sure that he had just used me to manipulate the rest of the family. Just when I had finally found some peace, a fresh wave of irritation passed over me. This time I was angry at myself.
Why did I feel this anger towards my brother?
My mother had said that I shouldn't be angry with him for having chosen Hua. I would agree if it hadn't been for the fact that I had been manipulated.
For quite a while I had fantasized about taking revenge on Zao and Hua. I often pictured myself waiting for them outside of the wedding location when they were about to get married.
But there was nothing I could do about the situation. My brother and Hua were getting married and somehow I would have to come to terms with it.
While I was thinking about my miserable life in my room, my forehead throbbed. The pain stretched from my temples up to my hairline and abruptly subsided.
Confused, I rubbed my temples. By all appearances, Hua's presence had now given me headaches.
When my stomach suddenly made a loud noise, I was again abruptly aware that I could not spend the whole day in my room. Just as I was about to face another sermon from my mother to get food in the kitchen, a small pebble banged against my glass window. I grabbed the handle, opened the window and peered down. A cheeky grin greeted me.
My best friend Tlaca stood below and waved at me, her shoulder-length pitch-black hair swirling in the wind. "Go on throw me a rope down so I can come up." I nodded and went to my bed. From underneath I took out a rope, which I occasionally used for my morning walks to sneak out through the window.
With the rope I went back to the window and tied it tightly so that Tlaca could climb up it. "Hurry up," I whispered. "I'm hungry."
"All right, I'll hurry!"
Not a minute later she was sitting on my window ledge, grinning at me. "I heard you got busted for your walk."
I nodded and sat down on the bed. "That absolutely sucks... But you look so sad. Did something else happen?" asked Tlaca, dangling her feet while still sitting on my window ledge.
"Zao is getting married the day after tomorrow"
"Excuse me?!" asked Tlaca, startled. "Who?"
"That bitch Hua."
"This is a bad joke, isn't it?"
"No, I'm afraid not.", I replied and Tlaca ran his hand through his hair angrily. "Where is your brother right now? I'll beat his face until he comes to his senses."
Angrily she went to the door. I jumped up from the bed and stopped her. "Calm down Tlaca! Please!"
Resigned, she dropped cross-legged to the floor. "Why does he want to marry her?"
"I don't know. Maybe he's in love with her. I don't know anything about his private life."
"Maybe he wants to get rid of you?", Tlaca suggested.
"No, I don't think so. I think he wants to become the new head of the village. Tlaca is the best partner to make this a reality!"
"Nonsense. The guy is just horny for her tits. If he wants to become the new head, he can get respect through the coming divine hunt too."
"It's his decision, not mine. Either way, I have to accept it"
"Yeah, yeah", Tlaca said unenthusiastically.
We sat silently for a while and then Tlaca finally spoke up again. "How are you doing anyway? Is everything ok?"
"Everything is fine. Why wouldn't it be?"
"Your face looks like shit, like you haven't eaten in days."
"Really?" I asked, startled, grabbing my face.
"Well, your face looks as pretty as ever, but you look so pale."
"I had a headache earlier, but it went away in a minute." I ran my hand over my temples thoughtfully.
Tlaca nodded and looked me up and down. "Don't get sick now. Tomorrow we have our divine blessing."
"What?" I asked surprised, jumping to my feet. "Do I really look that bad?"
I ran to the mirror and caught sight of my pale likeness.
"When was the last time you were in the temple?" she asked, standing next to me as she also examined herself in the mirror and fixed a few strands of hair. "Maybe that's why you feel so bad. When was the last time you went to pray?"
I thought about it, but apparently for too long. "Yona? Really now? How are you going to get your divine blessings tomorrow if you don't go to the temple once in a while?"
"Oh, I'm fine. I'll just pray right here."
Tlaca snorted and shook her head. "Haha, I can see you're not going to listen. I'll take you by force tomorrow, otherwise you won't go anywhere!"
I laughed and punched her arm. "You don't have to force me, I'll come tomorrow. I don't have any other choice. Either I come or my mother will force me anyway!"
"It's better too!" You better be on time tomorrow!"
"Ok Tlaca I got it. That's enough now," I sighed and let myself fall back onto my bed. My stomach growled again and Tlaca raised an eyebrow. "Haven't eaten anything yet have you?" I shook my head.
She went back to the window seat and reached for the rope. "Go and get something to eat then, I have to go back home and feed the chickens now too." I nodded again and closed my eyes for a moment before stepping to the window.
Before Tlaca roped down, she paused. "Yona ... About your brother and Hua... we'll talk about it again tomorrow if you want. I'll help you get through this."
I smiled softly and gave her a light punch on the shoulder. "Thanks Tlaca. I appreciate it."
She grinned at me before saying goodbye and throwing the rope back up.
I closed the window and then stepped out into the hallway. My brother was not to be seen. I crept quietly down the stairs towards the kitchen, but just as I reached the bottom of the stairs, my mother was standing there, eyeing me angrily. "Why do you always have to go to that goddamn cliff! Tell me Yona!"
I didn't reply.
"Because of you, I'm going to start swearing. Oh Eurybia, daughter of the sea god Pontos and the earth goddess Gaia, oh patron goddess of Niantra please forgive my words."
I couldn't help rolling my eyes at my mother's words. Unlike me, I would call my mother a true blessed believer. But I didn't think much of apologising to the gods in everyday life. I was all the less looking forward to my blessing tomorrow.
What was there to be blessed for? What was the point of having a patron god if you got injured or sick despite being blessed?
Why should one give oneself unconditionally to a patron god. These questions had been running through my head since I was a little child, but I couldn't ask anyone.
I would immediately be labelled as an unbeliever and would have to lead an existence as a lower being. But I didn't know what that meant, because I didn't know anyone who was an unbeliever - except for myself.
"Yona? YONA!"
My mother snapped me out of my thoughts and I looked at her, dumbfounded.
"No wonder your father always freaks out like that! You never listen!" with these words she turned and walked energetically back towards the kitchen.
I stood there for a moment, lost in thought. But then I decided to give in to my stomach growl and follow my mother into the kitchen.
The smells of freshly baked bread and fried eggs filled the air. My mouth began watering instantly. My mother was already serving up plates for all of us. The table was laid out nicely and all we needed to do was sit down. However, the negative mood emanating from her was palpable.
"Where is your brother?" my mother asked, gesturing towards me with a fork.
I arrived at the temple without incident. The sun was shining through the windows illuminating the interior. The light played on the mosaics of the walls and the statues of the god Eurybia.
Euybia is the daughter of the sea god Pontos and the earth goddess Gaia. It is said that her heart is made of pure steel. This is the reason why the statue in the temple was made of pure steel.
Eurybia's statue was huge compared to her human height. She stood in a large pool of water and looked towards the entrance gates. Water flowed from her hands into the basin, causing a soothing sound. On her head she wore a golden crown which looked a little like antlers. Her clothes were also gilded and consisted of a skimpy top and skirt that closed around her legs like waves.
The temple was empty apart from the priestesses.They wore long white robes and their faces were covered with transparent veils. It had been half an eternity since I had entered these halls. I had forgotten how beautiful they were. The marble floors shone brightly under the sunlight.
The sound of the water as it poured into the basin was very calming. I began to relax, but then I heard someone approaching me from behind.
I quickly turned around. Standing in front of me was a priest. He was dressed in a similar fashion to the priestesses: a long white robe and a veil covering his face.
"Greetings, I have not seen you for a long time Yona, daughter of Onea."
Onea was my mother's name and hearing her name after today's argument made my anger boil up again.
The priest raised his hand and brought his palm to his forehead, closing his eyes. I did the same. This was the code of greeting among the faithful and was also used outside the temple. "If I am not mistaken, you will receive your blessing tomorrow. What brings you here?"
"Nothing", I replied curtly.
He smiled kindly. "This is not a good day to enter the temple, but I understand that you have urgent business. You don't owe me a detailed explanation. You may use this room to pray and wash yourself, it is just a short distance away. You will remember the way, won't you?"
I nodded, grateful that he did not question me further.
"May the gods watch over you," he added and quietly walked away.
I walked through the silent temple and went up a small staircase to a gallery. A sudden twinge in my head made me wince and for a brief moment my vision blurred....