I nodded, unable to form words. My world was falling apart. I tried to focus on what was happening around me. I had to leave the temple immediately. Today just didn't make sense. Out of nowhere, my life had been turned upside down.
It seemed like bad karma was chasing me - well, in my case that would be bad gods who were not well-disposed towards me.
"So you are saying that I have to die in order to live, so that I don't destroy the world. I hope you know that all this makes no sense at all." My gaze slid to the priestess.
"Now I come to you, Madam Priestess. I don't understand what you mean by wishing that you had the power to protect me so many times. Surely you also only now through the grey weeping willows what lies ahead for me in the future?!"
Confused, I looked at the priestess and waited for a plausible answer.
Her eyes were wide open and her lips trembled. She tried to speak but she couldn't. Tears flowed down her cheeks.
"Please, Madam Priestess, tell me! I want to understand why you didn't know what to do with me earlier and suddenly you act like you know everything?"
The priestess lifted her head and shook it sadly. "There is nothing I can do for you. There is nothing anyone can do for you. The fate of the world is in your hands now. No one else can stop it."
I swallowed hard. "Madam Priestess, please..."
The priestess hurriedly looked away and wiped her tears. "I knew that someone in the village was destined for something big and could bring disaster upon us. I received a warning from our patron goddess Eurybia. Since then I have been on the lookout. Then at your blessing everything became clear to me when I saw the black water. But to be really sure, I brought you here to the primeval grey weeping willows."
She stared at the floor, unwilling to look at me. "No one should suffer like you have suffered. No one should experience such pain. Now it is time for you to die, Yona."
The grey weeping willows nodded affirmatively.
I sighed deeply. "Okay, I'll think about what you said and try to understand it."
The priestess smiled again and it seemed as if a huge weight was falling from her shoulders.
This woman was just as unstable and not quite clean in her head as these mystical creatures that clearly did not look trustworthy.
The priestess went to the door and opened it, "So we're done here, Yona. Let's go back to the main hall."
I followed her and turned around once more on the doorstep. "Bye.", I said a little awkwardly.
The grey weeping willows nodded and closed their eyes. Their bodies sank into the ground, leaving only their heads above the surface. I wondered if they were dead or alive.
"I suppose this is goodbye," I whispered.
I watched the priestess walk away, her head bowed in grief and her shoulders shaking. Something wasn't right.
I tried to ignore this, but it proved very difficult. To distract myself from what had just happened, I asked the priestess a question that had been on my mind all the time. "Madam priestess, how is Lito?"
"Oh, he's fine again. He has already returned to his home. You mustn't worry about him. Besides, he is a strong man. Our honourable and kind goddess of protection, Eurybia, healed him. He still needs a little bed rest to be fit again, but that will not be a problem. His mutetr is a very controlling and leader-like person."
I nodded. "I hope he continues to recover quickly."
"As do I." The priestess stopped and gave me a warm smile. "Don't forget to visit him. I'm sure he'd love to see you again."
The priestess turned around.
I stood there for a moment and watched her disappear. "So my dear that brings us back to our starting point."
We were back in the main hall and Eurybia's huge statue stood intimidatingly in front of us.
"The water seems to be slowly returning to normal," the priestess said, examining the water more closely. "Remember, Yona, that from now on you must always knock before entering these sacred halls."
I nodded and rubbed my face with my palms. My body was heavy and I felt drained. All I wanted to do was go to bed.
"Yona please come back tomorrow. I have something very important to show you."
"You want me to come back here again?", I muttered as my joy was contained.
"Yes, I'm asking you to come back tomorrow," the priestess replied.
"Tomorrow?", I repeated, looking at her with an expression of disbelief. What would she want from me tomorrow that she couldn't have shown me today? But I had no choice. The priestess's piercing eyes did not tolerate any backtalk.
"I will come tomorrow."
***
When I finally managed to fall asleep, the vision of the grey weeping willows' faces remained engraved in my memory. I dreamed about them and woke up covered in sweat. I could hardly breathe, and my heart was pounding so fast that I felt like it would burst out of my chest. I lay there shaking until I fell back asleep.
I awoke with a headache which got worse every second. I had a lot of unanswered questions and no idea what to do.
My thoughts drifted back to yesterday and I tried to picture what had happened in my head.
Why did the priestess know about it? How would she know about anything?
All these questions circled around in my head like vultures.
What had happened?
Had I made a mistake?
Was I dreaming?
What were those grey weeping willows?
Did they exist? Were they real? Or were they figments of my imagination?
I felt very alone. I had never felt so isolated and helpless. I needed help. Someone to talk to. Unfortunately, I couldn't rely on anyone. My family was no longer a family. My father was not my father and my brother would now marry my arch-enemy. I didn't even want to think about my mother.
All in all, a complete disaster.
Last night, when I was sent home by the priestess, I was met outside by contemptuous looks from the villagers. I couldn't see my family anywhere in the hustle and bustle. As I walked along the path from the temple to my home, all the villagers were invited back into the temple, whereupon the Divine Blessing ceremony continued.
When I arrived home, there was no one to be seen either, so I fell asleep in my bed last night. Now I lay here in my bed and thought about my life, which was a disaster. What good was this divine blessing anyway? I sighed heavily.
I got up and took a look at my surroundings. Although the sun was high above the horizon, it was still dark in the forest and everything looked gloomy and grey. I felt like there was a storm brewing somewhere in the distance.
I yawned and stretched. Maybe I should start eating better and going to bed earlier. I felt like crap. But then I thought of Tlaca's words about my slight belly fat and I dismissed that idea again. She had really asked me if I was pregnant... what a bitch. A smile crossed my lips. Tlaca would be a person I could talk to, but would she even want to. Talking to an outlaw. Her parents have certainly already forbidden her to speak to me.
I went to the kitchen and filled a bowl with porridge. Before pouring it into the pot, I poured some of the water left in the basin into the porridge and stirred it vigorously. I hoped this would give me some energy during the day. It seemed like I was alone in the house.
The dead silence was palpable and a slight shiver ran down my spine. So this is what a broken family felt like.
In the meantime, the porridge was ready. I put the lid on the pot and placed it next to the fire. I grabbed two pieces of bread and spread some butter on them. I sat down in front of the hearth and started to eat.
The smell of the food brought back memories of my mother. She had always made delicious meals. I could almost feel her warmth and hear her laughter. Her cooking skills were unsurpassed. I would sit there and watch her prepare a meal.
But that was over and done with.
I decided to stop thinking about her.
Instead, I listened to the sounds of nature around me: the rustling of leaves in the wind, the occasional chirp of a bird, the creaking of tree branches and the gentle flow of the river nearby. The fresh air blew through the open window and I felt inner peace spread through me.
After finishing my breakfast, I packed my things. I had to get out of here soon because I couldn't take being alone anymore.
I threw my stuff into a bag and slung it over my shoulder. As I moved towards my door, it banged against the wall and flew off the hinges. I looked at the wooden frame that supported the door and it was split down the middle.
What the hell?!
I approached the door cautiously and listened carefully for any signs of life. When I heard nothing, I looked at the wall once again. Only a few feet away, a huge piece of wood had fallen out of the wall. As it came loose, I noticed a large hole in the wall and a dark corridor beyond the opening.
I was scared shitless. This was definitely no natural phenomenon. Someone had been in my house!
I crept forward and peered into the darkness. It was pitch-black and I couldn't see anything. I reached for my backpack and pulled out my torch. Light flooded the area and I could see a stone staircase leading downwards.
I stepped inside the passage and followed it until it ended in a huge basement. The ceiling was low and the walls were damp and mouldy. There was no furniture except a long table. On top of it was a book with a golden symbol on the cover. I took it off the table and opened it. The symbols were all written in a language I could not read.
I grabbed the book and flipped through the pages. It contained nothing but more symbols. The same language was used throughout the whole volume.
I felt uneasy. Was this some kind of trap? Had somebody set me up here? Why was there a hidden passage in the wall? Who ever had built this place knew what they were doing, but why? Why is there suddenly a secret corridor?
All of a sudden a corridor opens up in a mysterious way? Such rubbish sounded more like an event from a book and not at all like reality.
But who else would have a reason to go underground and build a tunnel?
Suddenly, I remembered the priestess' words. "You are destined to die."
I shivered.
I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. I didn't believe in destiny and I thought that the priestess had simply been too caught up in her own world to notice the obvious.
I took the book and put it back on the table. I wanted to get out of here but something stopped me. This book in this empty room, nothing but a table and some light. The atmosphere was oppressive and the hairs on my arms were standing on end. I felt as if someone was watching me.
I turned around and suddenly I saw a figure standing at the far end of the room. The face was not visible. I only felt the coldness that this person radiated. I began to tremble.
That's enough!
I turned and ran down the corridor as fast as I could. Behind me I felt the cold that seemed to be chasing me. I entered my room and turned around in fear. But nothing was there any more. No hole in my wall leading to a secret corridor. My door and the frame were intact. It seemed as if none of this had just happened.
What the hell was going on here?