"I don't know," Lily said toward me, then toward Sweetie. "It might be good fuel for a future episode."
"Life happens," Cheery Pie said to her. "We don't save juicy tea for dens. Crazy stuff is always happening in these things. Life is life. It's just recorded."
"Lily," Sweetie said toward my sister. "Please don't say?"
"He's going to want to know. He can tell by the look on your face now," Lily said to her. "It's going to drive him crazy and he will get reckless to find out." She gestured outside. "I'll tell after we go to see my niece."
"Yes, the girl outside," Cheery Pie exclaimed. "Yes, the sweet girl! Let's go see her. Okay, Sweetie, I am going to ask you some questions again with your daughter."
My nameless wolf cub. I followed along with the rest of them outside. Juniper was in the yard again, playing tug of war with my daughter.
I tried to contain myself. Tug of war was a common game to play with cubs. There was just something about him, that I didn't like. "Love Judge," I greeted him none too kindly. "Or was it Judge Love?" If I could have gotten her inside the house forever, she would have been safe and wouldn't need an extra pair of eyes watching over her.
"Actually, it's Juniper," my sister said to me. "Remember? Sweetie named him."
"His name is Juniper." He knew that, but his sister seemed so extra when she said that.
"Yeah. It's his name, that Sweetie gave him," my sister said harder. "There are dears, darlings, bastards, and Juniper."
"Bastards are turned into jerks for the camera," Cheery Pie warned my sister. "Don't curse. Redo that line."
"Umm? What did I say exactly?" My sister Lily was trying to remember. "Oh yeah. There are dears, darlings, jerks, and Juniper. Remember how Zoan said I shouldn't name someone their actual name?"
Cheery Pie cleared her throat.
"Remember how my guard said I shouldn't name someone their actual name?" My sister Lily repeated. "It denotes?"
Hm? Hm?! "Not him!" It couldn't be him! "Sweetie, he's the whole reason you are even here in the first place!"
"He isn't the reason," Sweetie said back to me. "You are the reason. Twice over."
"I rejected her," Juniper said to me. "I didn't want to die by you later. Like I said, I've been trying to make up for the slight faux pas. It was business."
Business? "Are you still a judge?"
"No, Deacon is, I became a contestant," Juniper said to him. "She didn't choose me for love, I'm just the one watching over the little girl."
A safety net. The wicked man who tricked us into these contracts in the first place, felt like a safety net to her. "After we leave, I could help watch over her too." I tried to appeal to Sweetie.
Sweetie didn't look well by that at all.
"Oh yeah." Lily clapped her hands together, then used both of them to point at me. "Guard?" She stopped long enough to grab a name tag. She put Dev on me. "Dev, Bro? The whole fact you killed before terrorized her, it didn't make her feel better."
Bad timing. Cheery Pie was backing up, and calling for another guard.
I tried to calm her down. "You can think of me as a cop," I told her. "All of us guards are from a similar area. We don't hurt people, but we do what needs to be done."
Still, Cheery Pie didn't feel better until Sweetie's brother came in. He wasn't far since he was watching my sister Lily. "I meant it as a comfort," I tried to say toward Sweetie. "It was part of my job, but I'd hurt anyone who hurt you."
"You will make a fine guard for her, Dev," Cheery Pie said, using the other name on my badge now. "The more willing you are to do what it takes, the better the chances. It doesn't mean you still have any say so over her choice or the kids. Sweetie?" She looked toward Sweetie. "If you choose someone else, just know that we will get you away from your guard and to safety before he ever knows anything is wrong. You'll never see him again."
The vindictiveness. I had an involuntary growl almost creep out, but I managed to keep it back. I couldn't be caught as a wolf.
Cheery Pie bent down toward my wolf cub. "Hello there! Guess what? You are going to be getting a name soon."
My daughter barked excitedly.
"You are also going to get to come into the house." She shook her fingers around to make her more excited. "Yay! Do you want to come into your house with your mom and dad?"
She barked again.
"Can you turn into a human for us?"
Just like that, she changed back to a little girl. She held out her arms toward Sweetie. "Ma ma."
"Is that the only word she knows?" Cheery Pie asked as Sweetie picked her up.
Sweetie's POV
Part of this, felt like torture. Absolute torture. None of them understood. Cheery Pie, from her words, had an inkling of the truth.
What did I do to deserve this? What justified this kind of punishment?
My little girl's hands stretched out to me. Wanting love. Whatever did she do wrong? Nothing but being born. This guard of hers. This should have been husband, this father of my children?
No part of him understood. I should feel safe because he's killed before? He could help watch our daughter? He was living in a fantasy world.
Berating Juniper. He had no idea. How could he have no idea?
If I were less of a woman. If I were less of a person. If I didn't have to play with the hero, and could just . . . make the choice for me.
But, there was no choice. The bright lights and the cameras. The safety of the day. I patted my daughter's hair. It had always been so wild, never brushed a day in her life.
It wouldn't be long before she was lying dead in my arms. It wouldn't be long before someone took on Juniper in the middle of the night. It wouldn't be long before the bastards took away Wolfie. Then it wouldn't be long until she ended herself, once all of her children were gone.
This was just a slow death, with some happy moments between. But, hey? At least I helped save the world, right? That's why my guard wouldn't really help.
I wanted to deny all the facts. Maybe everything would be fine? I've been playing denial all morning and last night, but I could see it.
I could hear it.
I could feel it.
The only person who might have a slight chance to save us, didn't understand what he was stepping into. When he did? Her children might die even faster. She might be killed.
He was a killer for his duties. He killed for his duties. That meant he was an honorable person. If he killed for honor, would he? That keeps circling in my head too, and how so selfish that had been!
It would be better if he just killed us all off. I could tell him, and he'd kill us all off that very night. But? I didn't want it. It was selfish, but even if it meant more pain, I just wanted to live with my boy and girl as long as possible.
I wanted her to come into the house. I wanted her and Wolfie to become friends before they died. I wanted to give her every nice thing I possibly good.
Cheery Pie asked me again, if 'ma ma' was the only word she could say.
I couldn't take it anymore. So much hope, to end up with so much loss, this slow torture of a choice between death now or death later! I just couldn't anymore!