I avoided Shu for a while since the last series of awkward moments involving… my erections. The first time my dick poked his tummy when we hugged was awkward, but quickly forgotten. The second time on the sofa was a bit more risqué, with my dick rubbing onto Shu's ass, followed by Shu walking into me fapping in the shower the next morning.
I knew the bigger deal I make out of it the more awkward it would become, but still, I think casually messing about with him now could possibly lead to more unforeseen boners, which will just make things worse.
Thankfully, Shu didn't make much out of it either. We stayed consciously apart, physically, but we still had chit-chat over breakfast, he came over to have lunch with me at school sometimes, and I even got him to help me out with some of my homework. So, in short, it was all good.
It was nearing June and end-of-the-semester exams loomed. There was still a little more than a month to go but every exam counted. I still didn't know what I was studying for though. Going to university was out of the question. First of all, I don't think I could afford that, and secondly, and more depressingly – what good is a higher education degree gonna do for me if I fail all my job applications after that due to my 'criminal' record? There was a hard limit on what I could do or achieve, and getting employed for a good job wasn't one of them.
On a positive note, Sayna has been making great improvements. It certainly wasn't quick, but she was definitely progressing. Considering the hikikomori-like life she was living before, it was already a feat that she started to come to school by herself now. She was still not sociable in class, but at least she could look people in the eyes. Okay, maybe not really in the eyes but at least turn her face in that general direction.
She could answer questions with short yes or no, but her sentences have been getting longer. I'm still yet to see her smile, but I was sure it would come.
Shu was initially on guard with Sayna. Probably because Shu being Shu, Sayna originally left an impression on him as a potential competitor that could disturb how he monopolized me. But whenever Shu visited my classroom, Shu made effort to talk to Sayna. She wasn't that responsive, but she opened up a little more to Shu than she did to other people. Since Sayna sat in front of me and Shu came over to visit, there were many natural opportunities like that to have simple exchanges.
All through this though, she never turned around to eat lunch together at my desk. Although I was happy to think that I helped this poor girl, this is also where I drew the line. I will help her if she needs anything and if it's something I can do, but I won't go out of my way to become her best buddy or anything like that.
So it was a great surprise to me when Sayna messaged me one Friday night. She's never contacted me over the phone before although she always had my number. Her message was very simple,
'Hi"
"Hi. Whassup"
"Am I disturbing you?"
"No. I'm just chilling"
"I see"
Then the messages stopped for a long time. After like an hour I was thinking what the hell, I'll write to her and see.
"So whatssup?"
"Are you busy?"
"No I'm not doing anything right now"
"I mean tomorrow"
"No I have no plans"
"I see"
And that was that. I spent the next hour doing a bit of exercise and a hot shower before I sleep. And just as I lay down on the bed I got her message again.
"Hi"
"Yeah?"
"Are you sleeping?"
"No"
"I see"
"Come on, just say what you want man"
There was a bit of pause.
:Ding:
"Is it possible for us to meet up tomorrow?"
"What for?"
"I'm sorry. It's ok"
After that, she didn't send me any more messages, but as time passed I felt a little bit sorry for her. For whatever reason, she wanted to meet up tomorrow, and it took her a lot of courage to say that probably. My 'what for' seems to have been interpreted by her as 'what are you bothering me for'. Welp, I didn't have anything to do the next day anyway.
"Ok. Let's meet up tomorrow", this time I sent her a message first.
"Where? When?"
"Clock tower at 14:00?"
"Ok. See you"
I arrived a bit late at the place because things got a bit tricky with Shu. First, he was teasing me that I was going on a date, when I said it was not a date, he said then he will come along. But when I told him he shouldn't come along because Sayna did not ask for him and she might feel awkward, he then went back to calling it a date.
Whatever, the boy's just messing with me.
"Hi, Sorry I'm late"
"It's okay"
"It's the first time I see you outside of school actually since you started going to school by yourself, that's good"
"Yeah, thank you... I think I'd still be stuck at home if you didn't come around that time"
"So… whassup?"
"I.. just thought maybe we can meet and talk.. because we don't get to talk in school"
"Er… you sit right in front of me though…? We can always talk in school if you want"
"Sorry, maybe I shouldn't have asked you to come out today.."
"No, no, it's okay. Just saying-, don't take things too heavy"
"Can we go to a library?"
"O-kay. But isn't it better to talk somewhere else?"
"Please come with me to the library. We can talk after that"
So Sayna walked in front of me, leading me to the library nearby. I thought it was odd, but decided to follow her anyway.
Once we got into the library, Sayna asked me to pick out a book, so I did, and she picked one for herself too. Then we found a quiet corner of the library to sit down and…. Just read books for like an hour without saying a thing?!
"Sayna-"
"Shush-. We are in library"
"How, and when are we gonna talk?"
Sayna then lifts her finger over her mouth to shush me again. It was a little irritating. I was happy to lend support if there was something troubling her, but I wasn't here to waste time doing nothing.
Just about when my patience was running out, Sayna got up and we left the library together.
"What was that?! You said you want to talk but we just sat there reading for like an hour"
"I used to come here a lot back in middle school. I loved reading books, so I sat by the corner where we sat before and spent a lot of time just reading and reading. Not for studying, but just for reading novels"
"O-kay", how was I supposed to react to that?
"Let's take a walk"
Then we walked around the back of the library where there was a path leading to the park.
"Right. Now we are somewhere to talk, right?"
"Yeah-. Once I was done in the library, I used to take this path back home. This was the short cut"
"Hm, you are right actually. We can get to our home area if we just cross this park"
Then we walked across the park for a minute or two without saying a thing, and Sayna suddenly stopped in one spot, like her feet were rooted to the ground. Was she trembling a little?
"And he…here… I was just passing through here one night"
She seemed to have difficulty talking now, I know this feeling when someone's trying to recall something they do not wish to recall.
"Hey, it's okay. You don't need to say it"
"…. And I just couldn't leave home anymore... I was so scared…"
"Hey, it's okay. You are okay now"
Then Sayna broke into tears and started to sob hard.
It must have been so hard for her back then, and so hard for her now to bring this up. It was probably best for her to forget about it and never talk about it, but maybe all this time there was no one she could talk to and it took great courage for her to come here and face the past. Although she looked like a helpless squirrel the first time I saw her, she was a very brave girl in her own way.
I approached her and gave her a gentle hug, not too hard or tight, just my arms barely touching her body while embracing her. Sayna dove her head into my chest and started to cry. I stroked her head gently to calm her down.
She cried like that for maybe ten minutes or so.
"I'm sorry Boh.. this has nothing to do with you… I don't know why I brought you here"
"It's ok. I told you. I won't let anybody wrong my classmates. In or out of school. Not under my watch"
The way Sayna looked helpless and hurt reminded me of how Shu looked before. Does Shu feel the same way if he ever visits the back of the school again? Has he even gone there since that day at all?
Now I knew why Sayna picked me specifically to talk to. And why she trusted me to take her out of her house and walk to school. She didn't need a good guy. She needed a bad guy that will stop other bad guys.
And I can be pretty bad.