Strider: "This should be easy. Just imagine a box, like a button with an icon of a shield on it. The shield is like those round yellow ones that shine and peel magic flakes sometimes, the ones you need to keep on channeling to maintain. You spend energy per second and if someone hits them, part of it is blocked, the other you receive as damage. If it receives too much damage it breaks, and those flakes go all around like glitter. You can enchant someone or protect someplace, but you need to be at the center of it. Then, all you need to do is gather the watery energy inside of you, it's like some weird blue fog, then just push it through the box."
Strider stares deep into my soul, smiling and nodding with anticipation.
Strider: "Go on, try it."
I look at him with tired hopelessness.
"I didn't understand anything you just said. You lost me on the 'icon' part."
Strider: "How you don't know what an icon is?"
"Is it like… someone famous or something?"
Strider: "No, no." – He sighs. – "This isn't working. I don't think you're making it right."
"I think you are not good at explaining things."
Strider: "I'm just saying what I do to activate my skills. For me, it's that simple."
"It is not 'that simple'! How is imagining a box helps me cast magic?"
He taps his feet on the ground to think for a couple of seconds, then he suddenly turns and starts walking towards the main road.
Strider: "…Okay, we are going for plan B, then. Let's go back to the village and talk to someone who has an ability close to yours. He should know since both of you are NPCs, if it works differently for you guys, he will tell."
I walk after him a few steps behind, but I stop with a frown.
"En pee sees?"
Strider just sighs tiredly.
Strider: "I won't explain it. Just follow me."
…
I was completely tired from all the sudden training, so we walked through in silence for a few minutes, it was way more calming than I would have imagined, maybe because all the effort on exercising was a way worse scenario than walking with someone in complete silence. But one thing kept coming back to mind and it ended up boiling out of my mind when the village's stone walls were already in sight.
"You said before..."
Strider: "Hm?"
"You said that you used to beat stronger kids than you. How did you win against them?"
Strider: "Hmmm…" – He slows his pacing as he looked at the sky to remember something. – "I never said I won."
"Wha??"
Strider: "They were, like, three to four years older than me, besides, bullies always have the strongest early genes for some damn reason, how could I win?" – He laughs. – "But seriously. You don't need to win every fistfight that falls on your lap, you should always run away when the odds are too low. All I did back then was throw some punches and run." – He shrugs. – "Hmmm… maybe that's why they always kept coming back, now that I think about it."
"So you just ran away? I thought heroes were more courageous than that--." – I immediately cover my mouth to stop saying things I shouldn't.
Strider: "Courageous, huh…? – He glares at me with a side-eye. – "Running away should always be a valid option. Know that a situation is only truly hopeless when there's no other choice but to fight. The real world is too harsh for you to be dumb at it, if you get too unlucky you're done forever, that's just plain fact. So running away is surviving to fight another day, giving up on your life is never the best option."
The both of us remain silent for a while, as if we were waiting for the swiping wind of the forest to pass.
"Strider… are you afraid of dying?"
He halts.
The houses of the village and a few wolfkins could already be seen beyond the rough stone walls in the distance.
Strider: "I guess." – The wind stops. – "But I'm kind of used to the feeling. A few people forced my hand before. A few times." – He turns to me, his serious gaze making my skin crawl. – "You don't need to pass through what I did, though. Just get strong enough to do what you want. If you force it too much you might break. And that…" – He resumes walking. – "…won't be pretty."
His dark cloak wavers with each step, and after digesting what he just said, I continue to follow him.
Not long after, we reach the insides of the village. We spend a few minutes roaming around and asking the townsfolk for directions, but after a while, we finally found the person Strider was searching for.
Strider: "Yo, Vute." – He tiredly waves to the chief of security. – "I need your help on something."
Vute: "Oh, Strider! And Tasah. So, you found him, did you? What can I do for you?"
Strider glanced at me.
Strider: "He's having a hard time activating a skill. Coincidentally, it's very close to the magic shield you have, so I thought of asking for any tips on how to make it work."
The wolfkin frowns and looks at the both of us repeatedly.
Vute: "Are you training him?"
Strider: "He asked, so why not?" – He shrugs. – "But what gave it away?"
Vute: "For starters…" – The wolfkin extends his hand to take a leaf out of my hair. – "He's way more beaten up than when he talked to me earlier, aaand I also had my suspicions since he was looking for you."
In truth, I was only going to apologize to him but I ended up lying my way to hell.
I shake my head to see if anything else was stuck over it, and three other leaves drop at the back of my neck. Why didn't Strider warn about them??
Strider: "Yeah, but he said that he can't use magic, never was able to. My theory is that he has the wrong idea of what to do, maybe you can share some techniques that help kids to start at it."
"Hey, I'm not a kid!"
Vute hums to think.
Vute: "It comes naturally, for wolfkins at least, so I'm afraid I can't help."
Strider: "Is that so…? Could you tell me how you make it happen, then? Maybe it'll inspire him."
Vute: "You said the barrier, right? Well, for that I draw an L on where I want to have the barrier and then I say:
Strider: "Huh… it's really up." – The Hero scratches his chin as he analyzes the wolfkin, then his gaze suddenly shoots at me, his eyes shining golden. – "You, try doing the same thing."
"Huh?!" – I startle. – "O-Okay…"
I lift my index finger hesitantly and repeat the gesture.
"Magic Barrier."
Is that it? I'm not feeling anything unusual.
Strider: "Yeah… as I thought." – He turns to Vute. – "So, there isn't a secret or a trigger to make it work?" – With no immediate response, he adds: – "Maybe something about doing the same skill in different ways? Or some people who train to get better at it?"
Vute scratches the back of his neck, a nervous look on his face.
Vute: "Well, there is. How can I explain this… Some cast spells by saying their names aloud, while others do it soundlessly. But that varies a lot, the majority use a mix or multiple methods to activate each of them. There are even some that need magic circles or gestures to make it work, like me. Back when I was a kid, there was even a powerful prince who could only cast when he used a special ring, even though it had no magic embedded into it. So for all I know, it depends on how the person feels about it."
Strider: "So, summing it up, there's no manual?"
Vute: "Sorry." – He smiles weakly. – "But I've also heard many stories of people managing to make their cast faster, either by using fewer words or by removing part of the incantation. If that helps."
Strider's eyes flinch.
Strider: "I guess it gives me a couple of clues at least." – His gaze looks distant at the floor. – "Thanks for the info, we'll be going now."
He suddenly turns and starts walking away, hand on his chin in a thoughtful manner.
Vute: "Oh, okay... Good luck with your training!" – He waves goodbye.
Strider: "Ah, and can we test some skills in the open fields near the crops? I don't want to keep coming and going to that training field."
Vute: "Um… sure? Actually, you can use the field on my stable, just don't mind the animals, sometimes I train them there so they are used to some noise." – He points to a road ahead. – "It's right over there."
Strider: "Okay, I'll try to not start any fires there." – He walks towards it with lazy steps.
Vute: "Now I'm worried. Just be careful to not hurt them!"
Strider keeps going straight and doesn't even turn to nod.
"T-Thanks, we will." – I bow to Vute before following Strider.
Strider: "This sure is annoying…" – he mumbles. – "No one here knows how skills work as players do… this is going to be a problem. It's like another thing entirely."
I lower my head and clench my hands together apprehensively.
"Strider… I don't think this is a good idea anymore. M-Maybe we should give up, I'm not saying that your eye thing is wrong, it's just that I'm not able to use magic, maybe that's how I was born… and-- and this is how I'm supposed to live my life, I-I think I should make peace with that... To tell you the truth, earlier I didn't actually want to get stronger… I… when I was seeing you in the forest, I…"
Strider: "[…] if it's not one, is two. These are the only variables I can think of that makes sense…"
"Ahm… are you listening to me…? Strider? I think we should stop."
Strider: "Stop?" – He looks around. – "Why here? The center of the field is right there, don't be stupid."
Without finding the strength to argue back, I follow him until we are in the middle of the stables where different types of animals were at. All I can see is their heads but I can notice the variety, some are bird mounts, others horses, or hybrids, there's even a huge worm-like thing rolled on itself as it sleeps over a bunch of hay.
Strider: "Okay, now we are going to test a few different things, alright? No matter how hard they seem to be, I ask you to do them with the utmost desire and confidence. Do you understand?"
"Y-Yeah."
Why do I feel like he's having more fun doing this than me?
…
And with that… the second part of hell started.
Strider kept on describing how other out worldly things worked, made me do some stupid meditation poses, and even dueled with me a few more rounds to see if my skills would come out when under pressure.
He even almost killed me! Twice! He kept repeating that I wouldn't die with his skills around and that he wasn't aiming for a "critical spot", but there's no way I'm trusting that! Especially since he kept on glaring at me like he wanted me dead for some reason the entire time.
I ran, drank weird potions, almost fell asleep with Strider's lectures, and almost died for the third time.
And as a surprise to no one, I still couldn't use magic after hours had passed by.
Strider: "Nothing is working…" – He sighs. – "I didn't want to rely on this, but I guess we don't have any options." – His face turns grim. – "Well, I hope this won't work, or it'll be very bad… very bad indeed."
"Hey, hey, hey! Stop right there! If it's too dangerous then cut me out! I'm not risking my life any more than I already did!"
Strider: "It's a pity…" – He grabs his own face to hide it, his eyes glaring from between his fingers. – "But it needs to be done… for science."
I go one step back as he extends his other hand and grips something out from the thin air. Purple energy in squared flakes suddenly condensed into some type of dark rod as he pulled it to the side. It was as if evil itself materialized in front of me, as if the tool of doom had just been brought up with a hero's life force and its target was no one else but me.
"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! What are you thinking of doing with that? Thank you so much, but I resign from training! Please excuse me, I'll be taking my leave immediately! I'm sorry for wasting your time!"
But before I turn, something bumps into my chest and falls to the ground.
Strider: "Argh… go on, take it." – He rolls his head with tiredness. – "To think I would be giving an item of that tier for free… that goes against all my morals."
I take some time to look at the thing on the ground. It's a dark-wooded staff with a giant pure-blue lazure moon wrapped at its tip. I'm not used to magical items, but even I can sense the dreadful energy coming out of it, it's like untouchable winds were whirling all around in the dirt and everything close to it was unnoticeably freezing.
"Wait…" – I point in fear. – "Do I take it?"
Strider: "It surely isn't to stay on the ground, is it?" – He snaps at me. – "We'll test if you can use magic with that thing, so I'm lending it to you."
"That… 'thing'? This looks to be the most expensive staff I've ever seen! Look! It's Lazure Moon! A head-sized Lazure Moon!"
Strider: "Who fucking cares?" – He crosses his arms grumpily. – "Just take it before I change my mind."
"Ah… O-O-Okay."
I lower myself and take it as if it was a newborn.
"So, what am I supposed to do with it?"
Strider: "First… grab it like a fucking normal human being, grip it with both hands as if you were to club someone with it." – He glares at me. – "With that equipped, you should have more action speed, elemental amplification, and a bunch of other annoying stuff. If the problem is one of those, you should be good enough to cast something."
"Uhh… I don't know… This looks dangerous."
Strider: "It's safe, it only has a passive to increase channeling speed as you use the same skill over and over again, and another that decreases energy cost for the previous casted skill. It won't explode on its own. It dropped from an idiot I've killed back in a dungeon."
"You killed somebody??"
Strider: "Yes… a Hero, they come back and all, right? He should be fine in a week or something. Now, stop whining and start working."
"…So, how do I use it?"
Strider: "Just point it at me and try casting anything."
"B-But at you!?"
Strider: "If I'm hit-killed by a level forty sheepkin, then I'll take my own life myself. Just imagine me as a target and cast something. You have a buff, a shield, and a water projectile, any of those will do. Just get going. Remember everything I've told you so far, if one style doesn't work, try another."
"Right… okay…"
My arms tremble to point the lazure moon tip at him, the staff is way heavier than it looks so it keeps on leaning downwards.
Just do everything from before, he says. But now with… this thing… It's so weird to think something this powerful exists, but this shouldn't be a surprise for me. Since I was a kid, I've read stories about countless adventurers that held items powerful enough to change the courses of history, and I've even seen some of these as I was growing up in Nepaty, and yet, deep down, I've blocked the possibility that they existed in the same world as me, all because I would never be able to follow their steps.
I close my eyes.
But to see it with my own eyes, to feel its energy through my bones. It's exhilarating. I feel like I could use magic anytime now, as if I'm one of those adventurers from the old tales. Just concentrate… if I feel the energy, and make it into a barrier…
(Strider: "It's like those yellow ones that peel flakes from time to time." … "You should be even stronger around other people." … – He looks at me with seriousness. – "If you manage to do that, You might be able to protect anyone you want to.")
If I do this, I can finally do something! I can finally be useful!
I feel the energy winds surrounding my arms and rising their way up.
If that thing that killed my brother comes back! I can help avenge him! I'll be able to turn into the adventurers I've admired so much! I won't need to hide anymore, I don't need to feel like a leech! If I can be a little bit like my brother, I know I'll be strong enough!
Warm tears fall down my cheeks, the freezing energy straining my knuckles gripping the staff.
I'm sick of everyone helping me. I'm sick of being the weak one. I never asked to be like this. I want to be the one who protects, the one who inspires, why can't I? Why I can't be like that? It's everything I want!
The tears grow into streams and I feel my chest hurting so much that I start sobbing.
So… why? Why, even now…? Why I can't activate it? After training the entire day with a hero, after having such a powerful weapon in my hands, after so many years trying to do it, to follow in my brother's footsteps. Why? Why doesn't it work? Why I can't make it work?
"I can't…" – I slowly open my eyes, the blurry staff emanating energy coming to the center of my sight, its blue gem pointing to the dirt as it became too heavy for me to carry. – "I can't do it. It won't activate… Strider. It's not working--"
I heard steps coming closer and I look just over my staff, Strider is suddenly charging at me. His eyes are numb like the fights I had before, but this time is different. It's like he's serious about it, more serious than before. No, that's not the right word. This time he's going for the kill, I can see him aiming at my throat, he's actually planning to kill me for real this time around.
I fall on my ass.
Strider's daggers point forward, slim flames bursting out from its edge. With two more leaps, he's right over me, and so his daggers thrust forth, I instinctively lift the staff to protect myself and close my eyes. Then the explosion came.
Flames spread everywhere, my closed eyelids brightening with the immense clarity and the sound of metal clinging. For a second, I thought of nothing. I was unsure if I should be afraid, curious, or perhaps angry. Why did he attack me all of the sudden? I just wanted him to hear me! One thing was all the training and lessons he made me do and listen through, but this was stupid. Something above stupidity. It's completely irresponsible, no matter how great you are, or how powerful you are, you shouldn't scare people like that! Now my butt is all hurt!
But when I open my eyes, my entire train of thought vanished in a click.
Strider was looking at me, his face completely unsurprised. And all around me, the world was tainted yellow. Small hexagonal lenses everywhere I looked, energy flakes occasionally floating out to the sky.
Strider: "It looks like it worked."
My gaze shifts to him, it takes me a couple of seconds to see that my staff and hands weren't as yellow as the rest of the world.
"It worked…?"
Strider: "Took you long enough. I was seriously thinking of giving up on you." – He sheathes his daggers and rests his hands over them with a relieved sigh. – "This was the last of my plans, you know. If this didn't get through, I wouldn't know what to do anymore."
"It worked?"
Strider frowns at me as a confused smile comes to my face.
"It worked!"
I start laughing, the staff slips to my lap as my hands rise to cover my mouth.
"It actually worked!" – More tears come out. – "I did this? I did this barrier?"
Strider looks to the side and crosses his arms.
Strider: "Of course you did, dumbass. The caster needs to be in the center of it, did you forget?"
And the only one in it… is me. Only I can be the caster. Only I…
I stand, breaking the barrier from within and running to hug him.
Strider: "The hell?! The fuck you doing??"
My arms tighten over his waist as my head presses against Strider's chest.
"T~Thank you…" – I sob with happiness. – "Thank you s-so much!"
I feel my throat burning and I start crying even harder.
…
Strider: "Tch. Whatever, kid."
He lightly pats my head and back.