Walking out from the curtain hidden door, on the chilly balcony of my room, a magnificent view of the sunset stretched before my eyes. It's mesmerizing, crimson rays were turning every leaf into a bloody rose color, and the clouds seemed like celestial bodies. The warm breeze traveled through the thin cloth of my dress, with the smell of the cut grass tingling in my nose.
Looking down from the first floor, a wide field has just been bathed in orange light. But in the space where the grass would be accompanied by the colorful flowers, there weren't any there. Cut thoroughly, I could only see a small silhouette of a person collecting all of the grass and withered stems of the plants. Wasn't this field... The one that grew the poisonous flowers? Did master... Order it to be cleaned?
I bet that the gardener Dalius was told off, for whatever reason these plants were there. But on the other hand... If nobody ever wandered into the gardens, would it really be directed to harm anybody?
I didn't notice when the man, cleaning the field, turned his head up. His scared eyes were looking straight into mine. He was taking care of the garden despite not being a gardener... Who is he? A new worker?
Before the rays of the Sun set behind the lush forest, he disappeared, going into the mansion. In my mind... I have an unknown urge to talk with the gardener. For whatever reason, he was the only one who would exchange words with me. Not seeing him all day, bustling around the hedges, was strange.
"It's getting chilly, you should head inside." — The low voice came from behind my back.
Turning my head, I saw the duke standing in the doorway, staring at the slowly fading red on my face. The crickets started to chirp, the beauty of the vast world has went to sleep.
"You've missed a beautiful sunset."
"...I have all of my life to watch other ones, even more breathtaking."
...All of your life, huh?
There was something in his words, a sudden and unknown feeling that haven't ever been inside of my heart.
Glaring once again at the cut down field, I realized that one of my life's mysteries were solved. I've gained an answer I've wanted to know.
But... What's truly next?
There are no... Goals and ambitions in my mind. An empty space with no dreams. Living every day like I have lived now... There is no point of all of this. There is nothing for me to do than just drown in my own thoughts.
"Have you calmed yourself down?" — He took off his coat, and hanged it on my shivering shoulders, covering my skin.
The black eyes of his, they suited the young night that was about to rise. With the last faint presence of the Sunlight, it was slowly fading into the long darkness. Quiet, chilly, cold, but in some way one could find calmness and answers within them.
He swore to my late husband to protect me, so can I trust him? Me being here... Is this a proof of his good heart, being hidden behind a stone face?
Can I give my life to this man, who gave an oath to take care of me? After all... He could have broken it and left me towards an unknown fate... Alone, forgotten and lost.
"...Thank you... For taking me in." — I whispered into the cold air.
"..."
His eyebrows raised up, lips slowly opening as if wanting to say something, but the courage was stuck in the suffocating abyss.
"...If I am burden, please, don't lie and make me feel unworthy. I can feel it. Tell me right now."
The pointlessness in my life was at its peak.
But he wouldn't stay quiet and confused anymore. He didn't want to listen to me. The black of his eyes, widening in fury, could tell me straight.
Pulling my head to his chest, my pale face was hidden before the world. Trying to silence my intrusive words, I could feel his whole body shake in anger.
"Don't ever say things like this again! Never even think of this again. I didn't took you in just because I thought this is my duty. I'm genuinely concerned about you and I want to give you the best life I can, to make you forget about you suffering. You are a wife of my dearest friend. I couldn't abandon you."
Squeezing me tightly, it was a habit of his to put his fingers through my hair, and grab my head in a grasp. His sweet perfume, unfit of a man, smelled like a field of sunny daffodils. It made me calm and sleepy. His words were soothing, oh I wish I could just stay like that forever. The warmth of another person, comforting words. They were so pleasant. I was alone in the void for so long.
"I can understand that... You can feel lonely and useless in my mansion. I can't let you do the tasks of a servant... So I thought about something else." — He unraveled his arms, but didn't take them of my shoulders.
Glaring into my tired and hazy eyes, he wanted to lift my soul from the bottom of hades.
"Go to sleep, I will tell you good news tomorrow. Don't bother yourself with unnecessary feelings anymore. Everything is going to be well."
His sincere smile brightened the dark night, as he caught my hand and led me into my room.
Ever since today, he has been behaving like if we were old friends, supporting each other in every crisis. But just yesterday...
I reminded myself of the grip around my neck, and his venomous stare, threatening me... Still not understanding why would he suddenly switch from that abusive side of his to a gentle person, one more unsolved question was left in the corners of my mind. He told me that... I would resent him if I was my old self... Does that mean I was a cruel woman? Being capable of blaming someone for trying their best to help?
There was an empty void in my heart, with no reason for hating anyone for anything.
Wishing me good night, I was left alone in a spacious room, with its sweet smell making my eyes close on their own.
•••
Having eaten delicious breakfast and an especially sweet tea, I was led into a bright room, with the glorious sun rays lighting the beige walls of the room. The walls were covered with dark wood cabinets, filled with countless papers, from snow white new ones to yellowed old documents. With the smell of the wood, I walked to the center of the room, where a desk stood, with various items scattered on its surface. The atmosphere was brighter than in any other mansion room, my mood immediately lifted up after getting to see so much sunlight.
"One of the tasks that master will give upon you, is sorting the files of the earnings and spendings of the duchy, and calculating the weekly expenses. If you don't mind, I will show you how to start..."
The middle-aged man approached me, sending me a questioning look. Not realizing he was really asking me for approval, I anxiously nodded my head after an uncomfortable while of waiting.
His black hair had strikes of gray color, a sparse beard decorating his jawline, and solid looking gray eyes, he was one of masters closest butlers. Not recalling hearing his name, I was listening absentmindedly about the task details.
"If you have any problems, don't hesitate to call me immediately. Now, if you could excuse me, I have other duties." — Leaving without a smile, the door to the room closed loudly.
With the files piled up on the desk, I was quite delighted by the work given to me, as I wouldn't stand being passive in any way. Any help I can give to anyone fills me with satisfaction and content.
This weeks documents were each signed with a different date. This is how I got to know, that it was currently the end of april. But seeing how the nature would become more green with every day, I could guess it either way.
Checking through the papers, their white surfaces were covered with neat writing, containing many, yet unknown to me numbers, I was about to organize and calculate. But the deeper I went into the analysis, the more unexpected the outcome would be.
Under the label of income, the numbers hit very high values, increasing with every date further. Yet the spendings...
Were not even a considerate part of the money learned. The low expenses have shocked me, despite it being one of the largest, as I heard, properties in the kingdom. With the duke looking like a man that wouldn't hesitate to spend his riches on anything, the outcomes have really surprised me.
I haven't seen him today, despite him telling me yesterday that he would show me my duties. The butler coming instead of him, can I say I was slightly disappointed? But... On the other hand... What did I expect? For him to treat me kindly like he did, everyday?
My hand squeezed the paper unconsciously, making its surface crumpled. Not caring about the strange difference between the income and the expenses, my task was to calculate the total amount, and not analyze why it was like that. I wrote numbers on a clean paper unconsciously, and started writing equations, while wondering about the behavior of the duke.
Soon, I focused on my task. The titles of the income would be named after the way of getting it. But I often stumbled upon the payments that would be titled as 'other', which made me wonder what is exactly the way this amount of money is being earned?
After circling this weeks income with a red ink, as the butler told me, I realized that I've already finished my job. Having taken me so short, I was surprised by my math abilities being so efficient and fast. Could this be a proof of me actually not coming from the commoners? He didn't tell me if his friends and me were nobility or not... If I was a commoner, then I probably wouldn't be able to operate on such high numbers with ease.
Lifting my head from above the pile of papers, I searched around the room. My eyes meeting with only closed cabinets, I wondered if this is the place where all of the documents are stored.
Wait...
My legs moved on their own, approaching the first cabinet, the treasury so hidden I didn't think of it at the first thought. There must be some valuable information hidden somewhere in here. Something that would prove useful to uncovering my identity.
But how disappointed I was, when the handles of the drawers wouldn't move an inch. Checking them one by one, they were all locked, greeting me with hostility. But I couldn't give up so easily. Something had to be overseen, and left open.
Having tried to open almost every one in his room, other than the already opened one with the income files, there was only one left. A tall cabinet, made of red wood, standing just right by the door, reaching almost to the ceiling. I couldn't reach the last drawer with my height, but I helped my curiosity with bringing the chair. Climbing on it, my fingers touched the dusty surface.
I held my breath in, as the heavy drawer creaked from being unmoved in days. Slowly opening before my eyes, the sudden smell of the documents made me want to sneeze. Hidden in the last, most difficult to reach, drawer, what could they be about?
Reading the curved letters, the first paper was very old, it's color reaching yellow, the letters were barely visible. I couldn't describe anything else than the words: "Name, address and family members", with, what was probably a list, of all of the above. I couldn't sadly read any of that, the ink being so faded. The second document seemed to be much younger, with the same type of content like the first one. But still, the ink seemed to be very bad quality, I wouldn't learn anything new from it.
That was until, on the bottom of the drawer, sheets of snow white papers contrasted with the darkness of the drawer. My curiosity pushing me forwards, my heart was filled with excitement as the letters of the surface were so sharp and black, I could read them from afar.
Being just like other two documents, the layout was the same, and the list of people just as long. It was written on March 1st, almost two months ago. There seemed to be nothing unusual, but then I returned to the first page, to read all of the details that would be ciphered on the other documents.
After seeing the title of the paper, I was put into a confusing state.
"The Witnesses of the Noble White."
Noble... White? What could that mean? Is this some kind of a... Code? A war mission perhaps?
"This list officially contains all of the names, addresses and family members of the ones which sighted the noble white. The unsigned oath, proclaimed with the nobleman laws, states, that the word given by the servant to their former master, sworn on their freedom and lives, can't be broken, with the punishment of death. The witnesses, being sent away, shall never speak of the noble white. Any signs of breaking the oath will result in inducting the punishment.
Signed by: Narcis Begonia of house Begonie."
The same sign was on the other papers.
Reading further, with every word, my head would start to hurt more and more, not understanding any of this. Punishment of... Death? Not allowed to... speak about a thing that isn't even described?
Why would he create and sign a strange document like that? Could he really... Kill anyone who spoke of the... Noble white?
Trying to find something else written in this weird document, Suddenly, I heard the doorknob of the door next to me being turned. The cold and heavy metal fighted with its might with the weight of someone's hand.
My heart would stop beating from the sudden fear, inflicted on my body.
No! I can't be seen browsing through the documents like that. I've seen... Something I shouldn't have. Something that is punished with death upon... knowing so.
I don't want to die. Don't come in... Oh please!
Shoving the papers panically into the drawer, I didn't bother putting them in the correct order. My heart was squeezed tightly, afraid of being caught.
But as I wanted to quickly get off, the door opening abruptly, moving the chair, my foot would slip of its edge.
Falling to the floor, with a scared scream, I didn't have any time to think of anything. The immense pain would be the first thing to pierce my body, right next to the fear of being seen and humiliation. Ah... Will I become a lonely ghost again, after this?
In the darkness that surrounded me, falling into, there was surprisingly no pain. It was warm, the embrace tightening around my arms. The smell of the perfume that I enjoyed so much. Have I... Hit my head so strongly?
But the void around me tightened, realizing I'm being held by two, strong arms of a man.
I didn't except the thing I would land into, to be the arms of the duke. Holding me firmly, my whole body, shaking from fear, was weighing his one down to the floor.
Slowly lifting my head up, the only thing I was was a pair of two, charcoal black gems, glaring at me with a sharp expression I haven't seen yet.