"GREYBACK!"
Body tense as taut bowstring, eyes revolting, Remus straightened up with a scream lodged in his throat. His forehead and throat were burning. He could hardly catch his breath. But that was nothing compared to the abominable pain he felt in his leg. The pressure of the jaw was still there, increasing with each pulse of blood. It pierced his flesh and tore his muscles. Letting out a choked cry, Remus grabbed his thigh, pressing his fingers against the large scar. No. It wasn't bleeding. He needed to calm down. He needed to breathe.
"Greyback..." He groaned the name, his head unable to hold itself upright, bobbing back and forth.
"Greyback..."
He looked up in search of the monster but found only voidness. A blackness so deep that it left him dazed. Where was he? Was Greyback still chasing him? He was sure he had seen him earlier, on the castle grounds. He remembered the screams and the flames, the frenzied breath of the monster galloping under the trees...
His pupils, enlarged by the night, scanned the darkness for a clue, a detail to hold on to, but the tears and the fever distorted his vision until he was hallucinating. In every corner, the beast came to life. No matter where Remus looked, it would emerge from the depth of the night, its grimacing face flooding the boy's mind with unspeakable terrors.
Terrified by the sight, Remus wanted to flee, to use his hands to pull himself up and run away. But his fingers got lost in a ground that was far too soft. Confused, he scratched at what he thought was dirt before yelping as he felt the cottony fabric under his nails. He was no longer in the forest. An uncomfortable mattress had replaced the lichen and moss.
An unfamiliar bed.
Greyback was there. He was going to emerge from under the sheets.
He was going to die!
He didn't really know if he had only thought those words or if he had screamed them at the top of his lungs. His confusion had turned into a flood of panic that threw him to the floor. He felt the wolf's gaze all over him. Its tongue was tasting him, its clawed hands were grabbing him.
Crying, Remus crawled blindly across the cold tile floor. Things in the dark brushed against him, poked him, pushed him. Then there was a thunderous sound and the whole room lit up, briefly revealing the rows of beds in the infirmary before being swallowed up by darkness again.
Remus froze except for the heavy rise and fall of his back. Prostrate against the floor, he waited for another bolt of lightning to make sure he hadn't been dreaming.
When the lightning struck again, he looked around the room. The infirmary. He was in the infirmary. How could this be? Who had found him? Visions came back to him like flashes in the dullness of his memories: the eyes of the wolf, the spells cast, the crazy race… Did Dumbledore know what had happened? Had anyone else seen Greyback? Remus was sure he was still there. He could feel his presence in the castle, in the room, against his own body...
A shiver of horror ran through him, and he clutched at the bars of one of the beds to pull himself to his feet. The coldness of the metal against his damaged hands made him hiss. His breath shortened by the spasms that shook his body, he tried to gather his strength to get out of the infirmary. He had to warn Dumbledore of the danger before Greyback claimed any more victims. Maybe he was already in the school, sneaking into one of the dormitories...
Something stirred in the darkness, and Remus felt his whole life sink into the hollow of his throat, where his heart was beating so hard.
"Who... Who?" Remus' voice was a thin trickle. The fever was drying out his throat and the words were struggling to find their way out. He forced himself to repeat his question, "Who... Who's there?"
Only silence answered him.
He prayed for another flash of light to flood the room again, but the sky was stingy. The rain rolled against the windows with an angry roar, the drops hitting the glass with the force of hail. The shadow was so thick again that he could no longer see the ground.
Yet, despite the noise, he seemed to feel another breath than his own. Something was there with him, in the dark.
"Greyback?"
The darkness remained stagnant, so profound that Remus didn't know where to find himself. Where did his body begin? Where did it end? There was no more depth or nuance. Just the blackness that was eating away at him.
"Greyback..."
His voice was being devoured too. The shadow was taking him by the throat. He could feel his arteries pulsating, trembling with horror as he remained motionless, eyes fixed in the direction of the movement he'd spotted. Greyback was everywhere and nowhere at the same time. He could feel his teeth on the back of his neck and then glimpse him under a bed, hidden in the folds of a sheet, a few steps away.
"Greyback!"
Was it the urge to fight or the urge to give up that drove him to scream like that? Every time he spoke his name, he felt that same insurmountable revulsion. Yet he continued to call out to the wolf, crying out in the darkness. The bite of the night made him lose his mind.
It had to stop.
"Show… Show yourself! Greyback!"
Something moved again, and Remus saw a figure even blacker than the shadows rise up, ready to pounce, filled with a rage identical to his own. His petrified body stood only by miracle and Remus was surprised that he was still breathing.
His eyes filled with tears; he waited for the beast.
"I'm getting tired of hearing you talk about this Greyback…"
The voice that emerged from the darkness was marked with a deep weariness. The sky, too, must have grown weary of the situation, for it finally decided to illuminate the stranger. A white figure appeared in the bright light a few beds away, and Remus first believed it to be an apparition before realizing that the individual was simply covered in bandages. Although the storm had only briefly exposed his face, Remus immediately recognized his angular nose.
"Snape..."
Said Snape did not answer right away, clumsily lighting the candle on his bedside table with his wand before pointing it in his direction and whispering another spell. His turbaned head and gauze-covered cheeks were held upright only with the help of a neck brace, and his arms were stiff, wrapped in too-thick bandages, while a corset clamped his lower abdomen. His hand struggled to hold his wand, which eventually slipped from his fingers and fell to the bedside table. Snape watched it before sighing. He had trouble keeping his eyes open because of fatigue, as evidenced by the dark circles that dug into his face, making his prominent cheekbones stand out.
He gave Remus a jaded look. "Do you realize that I heard you screaming while I cast an earplug spell on myself? It's supposed to make me practically deaf, Lupin. And yet I hear you. Do you even know how many times you've woken me up? And, of course, Madame Pomfrey doesn't answer when I ring the bell, otherwise, it would be too easy! I have to manage both of us! Look, I can see that you have night terrors, or sleepwalking, whatever, I don't know, I'm not an expert in this field. Maybe I'm even talking into the void because you're still asleep. But, for God's sake, Lupin, if you're conscious, I'd really like you to finally shut your mouth because... Hey! What are you doing? Let go of me! You're hurting me! Lupin!"
The flame had managed to push the darkness back a few feet, creating a halo of light on the ground toward which Remus had rushed, escaping the night that had pressed at his back. He had felt this gaping void clinging to his shoulders as he leapt toward the light, bringing forth this terrible fear. A feeling of horror that ate at his heart.
Then he had run towards Snape, his steps disordered, his breathing chaotic, and his hand had thrown itself at his throat with the snarl of a wild beast.
"Why? Why? I... Who has...? Here. Who brought me? Greyback... Greyback! Tell me! Ah..." His temperature had driven the saliva from his mouth and he only managed to stammer out garbled questions. The hours he had spent in the cold had seized his throat and his mind. Nothing came. Yet he kept trying to speak, until he had no words left. Until he could do nothing but smack his lips and clear his throat. Like an animal.
"Get off me! You're out of your mind!" Snape screamed in complete panic as he tried to escape his grip. "Get off! Stay away from me!"
Each new effort made Remus' eyes roll back a little more under his lids. Yet he refused to give up. "Why... am I here? Is that... Greyback? A... werewolf? Need to know... now!"
"For fuck' sake! Get away from me!"
The Slytherin raised his arm protectively, slapping him unintentionally, and Remus' ears began to ring. He didn't know if it was because of the terror that overwhelmed him, or the fever that pierced his temples, but he felt himself tipping into another world. With an uncontrollable force, a body gone wild, unresponsive to pain and tightening its grip on Snape until the knuckles of his fingers turned white. His entire skin grew goosebumps, curling up like fur, his hair standing up on the back of his neck. Remus stared at Snape with an eye that his dilated pupils had left black. Snape, his only way out, his only chance to finally escape this nightmare in which he had been trapped since he woke up.
He couldn't let him go.
"Tell me!"
His spasming hands continued to clench around the Slytherin's neck brace, almost strangling him. Between his fingers, Snape hissed like a snake, trying to extricate himself from his grip before giving up, overcome by pain. Desperate, he finally spat out:
"I beg you, calm down! You are going to choke me! I don't really know what happened! I was asleep when you arrived! I woke up because of all the noise they made when they brought you in! There was the nurse and another person! Later, I don't know when, I fell asleep again, Dumbledore came in. He talked about you, I think, he said that you set the forest on fire, something like that! He said there was a story about a monster, that you had seen one I think, but he also said it wasn't true and that there was nothing to worry about! And you know what? I'm not surprised that you have hallucinations and that you set things on fire because you and the poor bastards who are your friends are all completely insane! At first, I thought it was just them who had a problem, but in fact, you're even crazier than them! And to think that I was convinced that James was the psychopath of the group! By the way, it's because of him that I'm here, you know that? He almost killed me! Because of that asshole, I have a fractured skull with a fucking concussion and I almost broke my neck! So for God's sake, leave me alone! Do what you want, go where you want, I won't tell, I promise! But leave me alone! You're freaking me out! I... What the hell are you doing? No! Please! Don't lift me up like this! Lupin, you're hurting me!"
Remus had let go of Snape's neck to grope his ribs and try to pull him off the bed. His face was taut with effort, but he maintained incredible determination, his features filled with fury. Dumbledore didn't know what had really happened. He didn't know the extent of the danger. He was the only one who could prevent a tragedy from happening. Never again would he let teeth sink into tender thighs. The blood to flow in the sheets.
Never again would he let anyone suffer because of Greyback.
Starting with Snape.
"For God's sake, Lupin, leave me alone!"
Yet Snape was fighting back. If his arms were swaddled in bandages and his neck brace limited his movement, he still managed to press his burned fingers against Remus' eyes. The gesture drew a groan from Remus, but he did not relent and continued to grip Snape with unnerving strength as if he would rather save him by crushing him than leave him to the monster.
"God... But why... are you... .... refusing to... leave me alone?" he whimpered, pressing as hard as he could his fingers on Remus' eyes until the Gryffindor felt dizzy.
"Because I don't want... him… to hurt... you… I'll... never... let... him... not even you! You're going.... to see Dumbledore... with me... You're going to... come... WITH ME! " His voice, cracked at first, had finally swelled in the hollow of his throat until it turned into a roar that echoed so far away that Remus suddenly stopped, convinced that someone other than himself had just spoken. Yet when he turned around, he found only himself.
Snape tried to take advantage of this moment to kick him, but Remus' nails dug into the Slytherin's leg. Maintaining his grip, he pushed against the bed frame to pull Snape violently toward him. The latter let out a shrill cry, pulling his hands away from Remus' face in an unsuccessful attempt to hold onto the sheets as they both fell to the floor.
Carried away by the momentum, Remus slammed painfully against the tiles. The impact stunned him and he lay still on the floor, his hands first numbly feeling for his skull and then rubbing his blinded eyes. Beside him, Snape was screaming at the top of his lungs. Remus could feel their legs rubbing against each other as the Slytherin tried to pull himself upright, shouting:
"You're a sick bastard! I told you I hurt my vertebrae! You could have paralyzed me for life doing that! What the hell is wrong with your head? You fucking lunatic! Why does it always have to be me? Oh no... No, no, no! I'm never gonna make it... I... You know what, Lupin? You win... You wanna see Dumbledore? Okay... I don't know what you're talking about, but if you think we're really in danger, we'll go see him... Is that... Is that okay with you?"
Remus tried to open his eyes. Snape's blurred figure stood out in the light as he tried to lean on the bed to straighten up.
"We need to go... Dumbledore," Remus' head still ached and he wasn't sure if he had articulated his sentence correctly, but Snape answered anyway after a silence:
"Yes, yes. I told you. I'll come along. You've won. Just let me have the wheelchair that's behind my bed. Madam Pomfrey left it with me, and in the condition I'm in, I doubt I'll be able to walk on my own. I'm going to get in the chair and we're going to go see the director, okay? Will you let me up?"
Something in Snape's speech had changed. He was speaking now with a voice that was far too soft, almost childlike in tone. It was as if he was trying to soothe Remus, which made his ears perk up.
Something was wrong.
Remus forced himself to follow Snape with his eyes. Half-slumped on his mattress, the Slytherin was awkwardly reaching for his nightstand.
His wand. That bastard was trying to get his wand back.
"Give me that."
Remus' hand gripped Snape's ankle so tightly that it cracked under his fingers. The latter let out a startled cry before turning his head in his direction, completely enraged. "Get off me, you freak!"
He tried to kick him again, but Remus held his ground. His arms brought Snape's leg up to his mouth and he sank his teeth into the bandage that covered his lower calf. Snape let out a howl, his arm sweeping everything onto the floor. In a shower of pills and bandages, the wand landed on the ground before rolling into Remus' face. Snape tried to crush his fingers to prevent him from grabbing it, but Remus was faster.
He pointed the wand at Snape, looking at him dead in the eyes.
"Dumbledore. Now."
There was silence. Snape stared at him apprehensively, his hands resting on his bruised legs. With a bewildered look on his face, he murmured in a low voice, "Lupin, you're really freaking me out..."
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"Could I at least know who this Greyback is?"
Snape had had no choice but to admit defeat. He was leading the way while holding a candle, sitting in the wheelchair that the nurse had bewitched for him. The seat rolled alone but at a slow pace, sometimes zigzagging instead of moving in a straight line, which made the Slytherin grumble. Behind him, Remus limped along, lighting his path with the wand.
With no windows, the castle corridors were even darker than the infirmary. Remus could feel the void tightening around them. The greedy blackness walked in his footsteps, breathed down his neck. With every glance back, the night brushed his face like a wet veil. Or was it his fever? He seemed to be dripping with sweat. The adrenaline that had carried him so far was diminishing with each step and his body was becoming more and more rigid.
One of the chair's wheels made an ominous squeaking sound and Remus felt anguish twist his stomach. They were weakened and completely exposed. If Greyback caught them, they couldn't escape.
Maybe they should have stayed hidden in the infirmary.
Maybe, by trying to save Snape, he had sentenced him to death.
The air seemed thicker and thicker. The heat more and more acidic. The corridors appeared to move, to breathe. Remus felt as if he were being chewed up by the living darkness as if he were walking inside a mouth. From one step to the next, everything around him was constantly shifting: the floor, the walls, the void.
In the grip of a deep uneasiness, he began to walk like the beasts, his flank pressed against the barriers, his eyes exorbitant. At each crossroads, he stopped to sniff in the dark, looking bewildered as big tears began to run down his cheeks. It mixed with his sweat to create an uncomfortable combination. His face was burning and he was only breathing through his mouth now, tongue dirt-dry, stuck against the back of his teeth. He moved forward with small steps, his ankles occasionally buckling under his weight as aches and pains began to set in, forcing him to lean against the wall. What was happening to him? He could feel his strength waning... Yet he couldn't collapse now. Not after what had happened with Greyback. Not after what he had done to Snape...
Ah, if only James were here. Surely he would have known what to do. Getting out of dangerous situations in extremis was his specialty. Peter would have supported him by giving him something to eat. And then Sirius... Sirius would surely have carried him in his arms, as usual. And Remus would have pretended not to like it…
James, Peter, Sirius... This was the first time Remus had done anything dangerous without them... In fact, since that summer, he was finding it harder and harder to spend time with the group. He isolated himself a lot, and on the rare occasions that he was there, he struggled to keep up with them.
Would this end up being a hindrance to him?
He didn't want to be alone again...
"Lupin? Can you hear me? You fell."
The candle flame lit the Slytherin's face from below, bringing out his large black eyes and the terrible dark circles that dug into his cheeks. Remus stared at him, blinking in disbelief, before realizing that Snape was indeed towering over him. He had fallen to his knees, his shoulder and head resting against the wall. How long had he been in this position?
"I... Ah..." His throat was so tight that the words couldn't escape. His nose was clogged too, streams running down his mouth while a sharp pain was felt in his sinuses. He was breathing with difficulty, in fits and starts, the air rushing to his lungs with a sinister hiss and leaving with sputters. There was nothing more that he could order his body to do. Exhausted, it was reluctant to perform the smallest movement.
Behind Snape, the darkness packed in on itself, ready to pounce, and Remus shuddered. He felt so small in front of the void. So insignificant. How could he think he could escape the night? How could he think he could escape Greyback? He could feel the wolf's gaze through the shadows, its piercing eyes searching his body. What if he decided to go after Snape too?
He hadn't just put his life in danger. Snape was now exposed too, trapped in his chair, weakened from their fight. There was no way they could escape if Greyback decided to attack them.
With tears in his eyes, Remus looked up at Snape, wanting to apologize, but the light from the Lumos blinded him. Snape held the wand Remus had stolen from him earlier in his hand.
His face shut, he asked in a dry voice, "Tell me what would stop me from leaving you here and going after Dumbledore myself and telling him that you hit and threatened me with my own wand?"
Remus' mouth hung open as he lay against the wall, his face pale, as if drained of blood. The tears that dripped down his cheeks filled the corners of his mouth before spilling a salty taste onto his tongue. "I..."
What could he possibly say to that? Snape was telling the truth. Remus had abused him. And now they were possibly facing death here. Because of him.
Snape's kidnapping was not a rescue. It was a condemnation
"I'm... sorry..." His voice choked with fever and emotion was so weak that Snape had to lean in to hear it. "I didn't mean... I didn't mean to hurt you... I just wanted to keep it from happening..."
A heavy sob caught in Remus' throat and he gasped, his cheeks turning red as he found it harder and harder to breathe. Snape noticed and grabbed his face to force him to look up and stop him from cowering in on himself.
"Hey, don't curl up. You'll choke if you do that. Focus on your breathing. Don't collapse now, that would be the last straw."
Remus shook his head vigorously between his fingers, struggling with his own breath. He looked up at Snape, his eyes blurred with tears. His voice was hiccupping now, the sentences struggling to follow each other. All tight and panting.
"I didn't mean... for him to catch you... I didn't mean for him to do... the same thing to you as he did to me... I just wanted to protect you... I'm sorry!"
His last sentence had echoed down the hallway, tearing a groan of pain from him in the process, and Remus clutched Snape's hand reflexively, seeking comfort in his touch.
The Slytherin watched him silently before staring at the hand that had tightened around his wrist. His features softened. He seemed less angry. More concerned, though.
"Hey... It's okay. Don't worry," he finally replied, hesitating in his choice of words, "I believe you, okay? I forgive you... However, it's my decision now. And I think it's better to go back the way we came. You're in no condition to walk and you look like you have quite a fever. Wait..."
He murmured a spell and then placed his wand against his forehead. It took only a few seconds for the tip to turn red and for thick smoke to billow out, drawing a "4" and a "0" in the air.
"Damn it!" exclaimed Snape. "You've got a fever of 40! It's not Dumbledore we need to find, it's Madam Pomfrey! And quickly! We have to go back!"
"No..."
That was all Remus could think to say. He knew Snape was right. He could feel himself leaving. But he couldn't abandon his mission. He couldn't let Greyback hurt others.
Snape, on the other hand, didn't seem to think so, and he grabbed Remus's shoulders as best he could to try to get him up. "Rah, I'm so sick of you! You see, Lupin, I always thought you were hanging out with Potter and the other two twerps because they were keeping you from being bullied. But now I see that not only are you just as crazy as them, but you're even more stubborn than all three of them combined! You're going to die if you sit there in the middle of the night! You need treatment! Madam Pomfrey apparently gave you some kind of strong medicine when you first arrived and now it's starting to wear off. You need to go and see her now if you don't want to get pneumonia! Come on! Get on my lap, I'll take us back to the infirmary, she lives next door."
"No... Please..." Remus's voice was nothing more than a whimper and despite his protests, he pulled himself up to Snape's chair to come and sit on his haunches, his head resting against one of the corners of the chair as he stared up at the castle ceiling.
"Must... Dumbledore... Greyback..."
Snape wasted no time and began to turn around. Remus' weight against his own body hindered his movements a little more and he turned the wheels of the chair with difficulty, occasionally grumbling through his teeth at the Gryffindor.
"Seriously... All this fuss over this 'Greyback'... Who the hell is 'Greyback' at the end? I have the right to know!"
Remus felt a tear roll down his cheek as he continued to stare at the castle's vaults, trying as best he could to focus on his breathing.
"A werewolf."
"A werewolf? Why would a werewolf attempt to attack Hogwarts?"
"For me."
"Why?"
"To kill me."
"Yes, but why?"
"To finish... what he started..."
The chair suddenly stopped moving and Remus raised his eyebrows, confused before realizing he may had said too much. Shit, did Snape understand that he had been bitten?
"I... It's not... what you think..."
"It's not a full moon, Lupin. Your story doesn't hold water."
Snape's voice was so low that Remus struggled to hear him. He tilted his head a little in the direction of the Slytherin, who seemed to have frozen in the chair, staring straight ahead. Did he think Remus was lying? Remus knew that what he was saying didn't make sense. Yet it was the only explanation he could come up with. With any luck, Snape would just think he was crazy and his blunder would go unnoticed.
"Yeah, I know... It's stupid..."
"Still, I think he's here."
"What?"
"Lupin. I think he's coming towards us."
Remus looked up sharply before freezing too. A light was progressing at the end of the corridor, on the stairs. Its pure white beam, almost blinding in the midst of the darkness, cut a shadowy profile of a face with a flat nose and a protruding chin, surrounded by thick fur and topped by two pointed ears.
A groan rose from Remus' mouth, muffled at first, then swelling to an unbearable scream.