Snape tried to silence Remus by clamping a hand over his mouth, but it was no use. The boy screamed at the top of his lungs at the monstrous figure that had appeared on the stairs. Overcome with terror, he tried to get up from the chair but only managed to slide off Snape's lap. The Slytherin grasped at the collar of his gown in an attempt to break his fall but Remus' weight proved to be too much for him in his weakened condition and he failed to cushion the boy's fall, leaving him to wallow on the cold castle tiles.
"Lupin! Lupin! Can you hear me? Get up! Run!"
Remus did not move as he let out another cry of horror, eyes fixed on the shadow as it began to stir. It was now running down the stairs, almost causing the lamp in its grip to go out as it swung frantically in all directions, casting a menacing silhouette on the walls. It was everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Soon it would be upon them.
Snape let out a flurry of curses. He threw his candle to the floor in a panic and stuck his wand between his teeth before grabbing Remus by the shoulders and throwing himself back onto the chair. The impact triggered the mobility spell and sent the wheelchair reeling backward, hurtling down one of the corridors that lined the great hall until it collided with a heavy wooden door. The crash tore a wince from him but he held on, shaking Remus in all directions as he tried to pull him to his feet.
"Damn it, Lupin, get up, you have to move! There's a door behind us! Maybe I can open it!"
His pleas went unanswered. With a hallucinated look in his wide eyes, Remus had stopped screaming, but was still frantically panting, unable to gain control of his limbs. The darkness had engulfed the scenery again, and everywhere he looked something frightening was emerging. His brain was giving in to horror and fever, pouring out its terrors into the emptiness of the hallway. The whole night had become a monster factory. They materialized before his eyes, ready to feed on him.
It was not Greyback who would eventually get him. It was his own mind.
"For God's sake, Lupin! Don't lose it now! Wake up! WAKE UP!"
The powerful slap Remus received on the back of his head made him abruptly lift his chin, his throat sucking in air in an eager snort. The sweat dripping down his body had soaked his clothes and it felt like drowning. His bewildered eyes stared into the shadows, fearing to see new chimeras, but met only a great, equally agonizing void. Eventually, they fell on Snape's face, distorted beyond recognition with horror, before finally being drawn to the blinding beam that had invaded the main hall.
Remus forced himself to look into it, hoping to find something reassuring in the light to hold onto, some proof that what he had seen on the stairs was also a figment of his imagination. But reality proved more threatening than his nightmares. Once again the large black shadow appeared. Advancing sinisterly, step by step, it progressed until it blocked the exit of the corridor, its dark coat illuminated by the lamp. A haunting that would live in Remus with every moment.
He didn't even have the strength to scream this time, cowering like a child against the Slytherin's lap, the only person capable of protecting him now.
The latter, completely panicked, brandished his wand in front of the monster.
"PROJECCIO!"
The figure was thrown into the air and crashed into the castle wall with a loud, shrill cry followed by a fiery roar. The lantern it held smashed to the ground, this time illuminating not one but two figures: that of Filch, the young caretaker, and his cat Azazel, who, with his back rounded and his fur bristling, spat like a maniac in their direction.
Snape watched the man as he tried to get up before muttering, dumbfounded, "The caretaker. It's the caretaker... It's the caretaker, Remus, it's the caretaker!"
The almost hysterical joy that had taken hold of him was not enough to calm Remus. Still glued to Snape's legs, he had begun to hyperventilate, unable to regain his composure. Seeing him like this reminded Snape of the gravity of the situation and he immediately lost his smile:
"Oh shit, it's the caretaker. I attacked the caretaker. Oh no, that's impossible... We're going to be in big trouble... I... Sir, are you okay?" His voice had suddenly turned affable as he tried as best he could to get Remus out of the way in order to help the other man. "I, look, this is a huge misunderstanding, I didn't mean to attack you... My comrade is in the middle of a panic attack and needs urgent care!"
"Oh, you, boy," Filch interrupted as he struggled to his feet, "I can guarantee you're in serious trouble! Attack me! You just attacked me! You threw me against a wall! Are you out of your mind? I'm sure I broke something! What kind of behavior is that? You wander the halls at night and on top of that, you attack a personnel member! That's grounds for expulsion!" His words ended with a croak, his eyes darting from one student to the next, glaring at them furiously before a wicked smile came to his lips and he resumed with a menacing whisper, "And don't think I'm going to stop there. Oh no, I'm going to drag you to the gates of Azkaban! Where vermin like you deserve to go! Believe me!"
This statement left Snape livid, stammering more excuses as Filch held out the remains of his lantern in their direction. The man paused as he saw Remus groaning, prostrate on the floor, and Snape covered in bandages in his wheelchair, but he picked up the pace when he recognized his face:
"But I know you! You're part of that Slytherin gang that's been harassing me since I took over! That bunch of scatterbrains who only swear by the purity of blood! You're always hanging out with them! It's a conspiracy, isn't it? Bullying wasn't enough for you so you tried to take my life! This is an assassination attempt!"
Again, Snape tried in vain to defend himself:
"Sir, I have never had any negative things to say to you and I have never participated in your harassment, believe me, that was not my purpose at all, I..."
Filch interrupted him with a curt gesture. "Silence! You just tried to kill me! Your words are worthless! We're going to the Headmaster's right now and I'm going to make sure I never have to see your nasty little faces again! Now, give me your wand!"
"Sir, I..."
"Give it to me!"
He walked over to them, snatched the wand from Snape's hands, and stuffed it into his pocket before lowering his lantern to shine a bright light on Remus's face, who was trying his best not to choke.
"And you, what are you doing? Get up! And without a fuss! Whining won't save you!"
"Lupin," Snape muttered, trying to soothe the situation as best he could, "Lupin, get up. We're going to go see Dumbledore. That's what you wanted, right?"
But Remus couldn't get up. He remained pressed against Snape's legs, his body wet with fear as he now struggled to keep his eyes closed. The shadow of Filch had rekindled his childhood traumas. The memory of the beast's breath bent over him overlapped with the caretaker's screams, making his heart pulse in his throat. His scar burned so much that he desperately threw his hands into the void, trying to remove invisible jaws from his flesh.
"I beg you... Let go of me..."
Filch would not hear of it. "Very well. You don't want to cooperate? Fine. I'll take you there by force."
He shoved the broken lantern into Snape's arms, nearly setting him on fire in the process, before grabbing Remus' shoulders with both hands and trying to drag him across the tiles. Scared, the Gryffindor struggled blindly, trying to pull him away from him until a hiss sounded near his ear, and a sharp pain was felt in his cheek. Between Filch's legs, Azazel growled like a wild beast, responding to Remus' sudden movements with increasingly violent clawing. A quick glance in his direction revealed the animal's wide eyes and Remus froze again. The prey. He was still the prey. Again and again.
Would it ever end?
"Get the fuck off of him and get your cat out of here!" shouted Snape. "You can see Remus is in the middle of a crisis! We need to get him back to the infirmary!"
"I don't care about his little act! He's your accomplice, I know it! He's going to come with me and face the consequences of his actions!"
"My God, you're crazy like him! Let him go, I tell you!"
In response, Filch tightened his grip and Remus let out a cry of distress. Seemingly obeying a will other than his own, he kicked Azazel, crushing him against the caretaker's leg, before screaming at the top of his lungs:
"FUCK OFF! LET GO OF ME! I WANT YOU ALL TO LEAVE ME ALONE!"
The cat's claws were lost in the pants of Filch, who whimpered in pain, and Remus took the opportunity to break free of his grip and crawl onto the tile floor. He didn't want to be touched anymore. He didn't want to be talked to. He didn't even want to see Dumbledore anymore. He didn't have the strength. All he wanted right now was to be able to curl up in a ball against the nearest wall. To feel safe, was all he wanted. That someone would let him do it while watching over him. To defend him from all monsters, real and imagined. He wanted someone to protect him, to put a compress on his burning forehead and whisper to him that everything would be okay. That it would all be over soon. Just like his mother used to do when he was little. Like she still did sometimes, when he would give up his pride and ask her to spend the night with him because he was afraid he wouldn't survive the night.
Was he going to survive the night?
He felt himself dying.
In the distance, in the darkness of the hallway, something seemed to be floating in the air, illuminated by a dim light. Was it real? Remus watched it move toward them before closing his eyes as tightly as he could, trying to escape the hallucinations.
Above him, the voices of Filch and Snape were booming. Remus tried to focus on what they were saying to each other, but the words became distorted and hollowed out, becoming nothing more than background noise, soon drowned out by footsteps that echoed in his skull with increasing force. Another monster? An army of chimeras? It seemed to him that something huge was coming at them. A colossal beast.
Filch's hand came to grasp him firmly by the shoulders and Remus had no strength to protest this time. Devour. He was going to be devoured. Once and for all.
"DON'T TOUCH HIM!"
The caretaker's pressure suddenly eased as a loud voice filled the hallway. Confused, Remus opened one eye, but the bright light of a wand inches from his face made it close immediately.
It wasn't a beast that had run into them. It was someone.
Someone had come to his rescue.
Who?
"BLACK!"
Snape's shout echoed through the hall and Remus gasped. Black? Sirius Black? Sirius was here? Was it he who had come?
He forced himself to look towards the light. Illuminated by the glow of his wand, Sirius's head, and only his head, rose into the air. Remus' heart raced again as tears welled up in his eyes.
Sirius. He had come for him. To save him... This wasn't the first time tonight, was it?
He remembered now. He had seen him in the forest. Between the burning trees. He had hugged him and carried him.
Sirius was there. He was finally safe.
He could finally give up.
That was his last thought before he surrendered to the darkness. ___________________________________________________________________________________
Once again, Sirius' instincts had been stronger than him. Although drunk and under the influence of the weed that Calvin Hooper had given him, he had managed to leave his three classmates' dormitory to sneak into his own and snatch James' invisibility cloak. Then it was with a slow and awkward step that he had dragged himself to the infirmary to join the subject of his thoughts. Knowing Remus was alone made him terribly anxious. He couldn't help but imagine him in bed, feverish, lost, trying to call Madam Pomfrey but unable to reach the bell on the bedside table...
Deep down, Sirius knew he was freaking out over nothing. He was being overly dramatic, as always, and the mix of drugs and alcohol he'd taken wasn't helping. But, even though it was far more likely that by now his friend was sound asleep, Sirius hadn't been able to help himself from checking.
When he found all the beds in the infirmary empty and signs of a struggle, he realized that he had done the right thing.
"Oh no, please."
Sirius had turned pale when he saw the unmade bed. Spinning his eyes around, he tried to figure out what had happened before finally giving up and going straight to the nurse, drumming like a maniac on her door. He was afraid that Remus had been rushed to St Mungo's. Had he needed medical attention? Emergency care? Or had Madam Pomfrey thought it wiser to leave him there for observation? Knowing the nurse's reluctance to transfer her students there, this did not bode well. Besides, Remus didn't like hospitals. He had spent so much time in them as a child that he hated them now. What would he think if he woke up there in the middle of the night, all alone?
Madam Pomfrey didn't answer, leaving Sirius feeling sick to his stomach. It wasn't like the nurse to be absent. Maybe she had decided to spend the night at Remus' bedside. She seemed to like him a lot after all. Anyway, if Remus wasn't here, he certainly was in the hospital, wasn't he? That was the only place Remus could be...
That was the only place Remus could be, right?
With his wand held up in front of him, Sirius spun around and anxiously observed the great corridors that ran from all sides into the depths of the castle. His mind was racing and he began to imagine everything that could have happened to Remus while he was away: having a drug allergy, falling into a coma from hypothermia, being attacked by another student in the infirmary with gnome rabies, being kidnapped by a terrorist group of house elves... Oh, by Merlin, maybe it was even worse than that! Maybe he hadn't survived his injuries and had died in the night! He had hurt his head, what if he had bled internally? Oh no, he was panicking! He had to pull himself together! Maybe it was just something stupid, a bad timing! Maybe Remus had left the infirmary on his own. After all, this wasn't the first time all day that Remus had mysteriously disappeared and wandered to the other side of the castle. Yes, Remus had gone off on his own through the corridors of the castle, probably to join James, Peter, and himself in their dormitory. And in doing so he had missed a step because of his critical condition and cracked his neck on the stairs... Oh, damn it, Remus was in danger! Maybe he was already dead in some corner of the castle! Oh, this time he was really panicking!
He had to go to Dumbledore immediately! Never mind if it cost Gryffindor all his points, never mind if McGo' punished him or expelled him the next day! He had been promised that Remus would be safe and sound in the infirmary and he had to find out why he had been lied to.
He wanted answers, and he wanted them now.
Sirius started walking through the corridors of the castle with a disjointed step. His vision was blurred and he could hardly walk straight, his body occasionally colliding with the armor that lined the corridors with a loud metallic clang. When he wasn't mesmerized by the checkered pavement of the hallway, it was James' cloak that caught on his legs and slowed him down, forcing him to stop and untangle himself from the fabric, too afraid to tear it. But despite everything, he held on. Sirius had a new mission and he was going to do it. For Remus. For his Remus.
Chilling screams echoed in the distance and Sirius looked up sharply. Between the distance and the echo of the corridors, it was impossible for him to know if it was Remus. But, if it was him, what was going on? Why would Remus start screaming like that? Had he broken something? Or was it Peeves who had attacked him?
Sirius stepped up his pace, though he couldn't run, as his drunken body didn't allow him to make such an effort. As he approached, the voices were heard more clearly. He could make out the voice of a man, obviously angry. Then there was another shout, asking to be left alone, this time clearly identifiable.
Remus. It was Remus' voice.
Sirius's blood rushed to his feet and he ran as fast as he could in his direction. The alcohol and drugs clouded his mind, turning the floor and walls into blurry lines that danced around the edges of his eyelids. James's damned cloak had slipped down his hair to his shoulders and his legs got tangled in it several times, nearly causing him to fall. Yet he continued to run frantically, without thinking.
He thought even less when he finally saw Remus, curled up in a ball on the ground, the threatening figure of Filch towering over him. Carried away by rage, he rushed at him, crossing the distance that separated them in a few steps to stick his fist in his face.
"DON'T TOUCH HIM!"
He struck Filch with so much force that his face followed the trajectory of his fist to the end. The caretaker's feet lifted off the ground and his whole body was swept away by the momentum before he collapsed on the tile floor, completely stunned.
The violence of the blow nearly knocked Sirius off balance and he flopped from one foot to the other before managing to stabilize himself, his vision completely blurred and his stomach lurching. Shit. He couldn't throw up. Not now. He needed to focus on the action.
He didn't know if it was Merlin who had heard his prayers, but a sharp pain in his calf quickly brought him to his senses. Azazel, the caretaker's cat, had obviously not liked the jab Sirius had given his master. His fur bristling, growling with fury, he had emerged from the shadows and had rushed on Sirius' leg, lacerating his woolen pants with his claws. Sirius cursed and shook his foot in all directions but the animal held on, snarling like a demon, His eyes bulging and his ears laid back. It was only when Sirius bent his knees to try to crush him between the ground and his leg that the cat finally retreated to hide behind the shield of one of the statues that adorned the hallway. Sirius watched him flee, almost growling too before a strangled voice drew his attention:
"BLACK!"
A mummy-like student had just shouted his name and Sirius frowned before staring at him, squinting his eyes. Who was this guy? What the hell was he doing with Remus? Was he an enemy or an ally? Was he supposed to beat him up too?
Sirius grimaced and forced himself to take a good look at his features before widening his eyes. Damn it, it was Snivelus! Why was he there? And what was he doing in a wheelchair?
What the fuck was going on here?
Snape was probably asking himself the same question as he fidgeted like an earthworm in his seat, completely hysterical:
"Holy shit, what the hell! I'm going crazy, it's not possible! You were the only one missing! First Potter, then Lupin, then you! That's why I HATE you! Because every time I think I'm done with you, you try again! Finish me, you want to finish me! Especially you, you, and your ugly head floating around! You fucking scared me! How did you do that in the first place? Don't tell me you've mastered an invisibility spell, I won't believe you! And by Merlin, why did you hit the caretaker? We were in enough trouble as it was! "
A lot of questions that needed way too many elaborate answers, and his mind was not in any condition to give them. However, the very reason for his presence was lying on the ground a few feet away from them and didn't seem to be moving. Priority had to be given.
"Remus!"
Sirius rushed to his friend, trying to pull him back to himself. Shit. Remus looked pretty beat up. He was in worse shape than when he'd handed him over to Madam Pomfrey. How could that be? Besides, what was he doing there in the middle of the night? And what the hell was that Slytherin scum doing with him? Was it he who had brought him here? Was he the reason Remus was in this state?
Anger made him jump to his feet in a single bound.
"You!"
He crossed the distance between him and Snape in barely a few strides before grabbing him by the collar of his nightgown, nearly lifting him from his chair.
"You stupid bastard! What the hell are you doing here with Remus? Did you bring him here? What was the plan? Did you see he was weak and wanted to get revenge on him?"
Completely taken aback, Snape looked at Sirius in astonishment, his mouth wide open. Then, recovering from the initial shock, he began to yell, even louder than Sirius had.
"Are you kidding me? Look at me, Black! Do you think I'm in any shape to do anything? I can barely move on my own! Do you really think I wanted to walk around at night with your friend? It's this freak who forced me! He wanted to go see Dumbledore to tell him about a werewolf that was chasing him! Greyback! That's all he ever talks about! Now get off my back, will you? You're hurting me!"
This time it was Sirius' turn to look at Snape with a bewildered expression. Did Remus still think it was Greyback who had chased him? Hadn't anyone explained it to him? He... Was he still to blame for all this mess?
"Black, get off me, we need to get Lupin back to the infirmary!"
The sentence snapped Sirius out of his torpor and he released Snape who fell back into his chair with a groan of pain.
"Seriously, couldn't you have just put me down slowly? Can't you see I'm covered in bandages? And stop looking at me with that stupid face! Besides, when you talk it stinks of al... Wait, are you drunk? Have you been drinking?"
The question caught Sirius off guard. Shit. Did it smell from there?
"Uh, no... No, I haven't... I mean..."
Snape took advantage of his confusion to snatch his wand from Sirius' hands and hold it out towards his face. Completely dazzled by the light of the Lumos, Sirius took a step back. "Ah, what the hell are you doing?"
He tried to grab it back but Snape quickly pulled it against his chest.
"Hands off, junkie."
"Huh?"
A shiver of panic ran down Sirius's spine and he stared at Snape. How did he know? Was smoking leaving visible marks on his face? What did he have? Spots on his nose? A third eye in the middle of his forehead? Confused, he groped his head, checking that everything was normal.
Snape let out a small, contemptuous chuckle, "I thought you didn't just smell like alcohol. Your eyes are bright red. Ah... I knew it. Of course the great Sirius Black gets high. That's why you're always acting like your only two brain are fighting a duel. You're just constantly wasted! Fucking rich kids... You don't know what to do with your lives…"
Sirius took a deep breath. Okay. Snape had figured out what he'd done and the situation stunk of shit. But he could still get away with it.
"No, but this is the first time I've... And then, fuck, first of all, how do you even know about this? Like, with all the potions you deal with, you don't do this kind of thing!"
Well, now it was for sure, he would never become a lawyer. Usually, it was James who would trick the others to avoid trouble, not him.
"No. I don't do that. I'm not a filthy little rich kid who gets high instead of studying," Snape laughed again, this time almost happily as Sirius winced, aware that the situation had reached a point of no return. "At least if we get caught, we can be sure it'll be you who gets expelled first. It almost makes my day to know that! I don't even know if I want us to get out of this now!"
If his big glassy eyes hadn't been completely dry from the drugs, Sirius would have started crying. It was over. No matter what he did, that bastard Snape would be happy to report him and he'd be kicked out of school in a heartbeat. He wouldn't see his friends again. He wouldn't see Remus again. Not even during vacations. His parents would send him to Durmstrang for full boarding, where he would probably end up being murdered by a group of black mage apprentices...
Maybe he deserved it after all. Between what he had done to Remus and what he had done to Snape, the universe was just paying him back...
Beside them, Filch groaned against the floor. Snape turned his head towards him, finally losing his smile as he saw the deplorable state Sirius had put him in.
"By Merlin, Black, why did you hit the caretaker? You completely dried him out. Bloody Gryffindors with their pea brains... Well, go and get my wand. He put it in his pocket. I'm going to try to fix the situation."
Snape's statement surprised Sirius so much that he didn't move, remaining stock still, staring at the Slytherin. What had he just said? That he was going to help them? That he was going to help him, Sirius Black? His sworn enemy?
"Black. Are you deaf or something? I told you to go get my wand. I know you're limited, but you're going to have to make an effort here. I remind you that Lupin has passed out."
Sirius reflexively glanced at Remus who still hadn't moved. Snape was right, there was no point in hanging around, but seeing him so cooperative made him more than a little puzzled. He had rather expected him to refuse to run away, and instead try to wake the caretaker, rushing to denounce them, claiming to be the victim of a terrible conspiracy.
In all honesty, that's what Sirius would have done if he had been in his place.
"You... Are you really going to help us?"
"I'm going to help myself!" Snape replied curtly, "If there's one thing I've figured out, it's that when I get involved in your stories, it always ends up backfiring on me and I value my scholarship!"
"Your scholarship?"
"Yes, Black, my scholarship. Since you're as dumb as you are rich, I guess you've never heard of it, but the top students at this school get a scholarship to continue their higher education. I'm one of them, and I won't let your nonsense ruin my future! I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth, I have to work instead of smoking joints in my dorm! Now shut up, and pass me my wand!"
The Slytherin's displayed selfishness reassured Sirius somewhat. Snape was indeed acting in his own interest and the situation made sense again. Relieved, he leaned over to the caretaker to reach into his pockets and pull out the wand. Part of the man's face had started to turn purple and Sirius wondered if he would end up with a black eye. That wouldn't be surprising considering the blow he had given him. He had hit him so hard that his knuckles still hurt.
"I know I shouldn't have hit him..."
He shouldn't have, but considering the state he'd put Remus in, he didn't regret it.
"No kidding," Snape replied, grabbing the wand Sirius was handing him. "Thanks for your help. I'll keep your wand in my lap if you don't mind, I need it for light. I think I can patch up his face, but as far as his memories go, it's going to be more complicated."
"His memories?" asked Sirius raising an eyebrow in disbelief, "What are you planning to do? A memory charm? You don't learn that until the seventh year!"
Nope, right now, Snivellus was bluffing. He must have seen someone do it in front of him and he thought that was enough for him to master the spell. If that was it, Sirius could do it too! He had already seen his cousin Andromeda throw one at their great uncle Cetus the day they had collapsed his chandelier while playing Quidditch in the living room! Well, it hadn't worked, the old man just blew steam out of his nose like a locomotive and that pissed him off even more. But, still, he had witnessed the attempt! Could Snape say the same? Granted, he was at the top of their school's rankings, but he still wasn't two years ahead of the program! He was just saying that to make himself look good!
"I've already mastered the memory charm, but I don't think it's the best fit for this situation. If Filch wakes up with a memory lapse, it will arouse suspicion. We need to convince him that he just fell down the stairs. I'll try a memory alteration spell."
Ah, well, yes… Right. Snape knew how to do that sort of thing. Sirius could go fuck himself. The Slytherin seemed to have a much better handle on the situation than he did. Seriously, what had Sirius been good for in the story? Other than knocking out the caretaker and getting Remus into more trouble! Maybe everything would have ended well if he hadn't intervened. Damn, that was infuriating…
"Well, if the great Severus Snape can do that…"
"The great Severus Snape, as you say, is not very sure of himself. I read a book of spells co-authored by one of the Ministry's obliviators. The method was pretty well described, but this will be the first time I've done it... If I mess up, it might make our situation even worse."
It may have been immature, but seeing Snape doubt himself almost relieved Sirius. There was a silence during which the two stared at each other, Snape having already raised his wand in front of him, ready to operate. He was obviously just waiting for Sirius' approval. The latter finally sighed before shrugging his shoulders.
"Well, at this point, we might as well give it a try."
They were already in a lot of trouble, yes. So, whether they were up to their waists or up to their necks, what difference did it make?
Snape smirked. "Perfect."