Living with darkness is not a frightening thing. Darkness is the best friend one can have. When you close your eyes or open them, darkness will always accompany you. It stays with you while you sleep and when you wake up. Hence, darkness is not a frightening thing.
However, it is what the darkness brings that is frightening.
Loneliness.
Loneliness that gnaws at the heart and makes the mind suffer. Thinking and waiting for loneliness to become a companion is the most terrifying thing. Because whether loneliness is present or not, everything is the same. It is only you with a hollow body and an empty mind.
---------------------------
Kylia opened her eyes and saw bright light seeping through the curtains of the bedroom window. She wanted to get up, but the wound on her back made her groan in pain.
The sound of the door opening could be heard.
Someone had been waiting for her behind the entrance for who knows how long. He brought a tray of soft food like porridge... well, just porridge and a glass of water.
"Kylia, you're awake. Come on, let's eat first. I've made you some chicken porridge," said Agung with an innocent smile on his face.
"Thanks," said Kylia with a blank expression.
She had been living with Agung for a week now. The debt of gratitude she owed him was accumulating, making Kylia feel suffocated. She didn't know how to repay Agung's kindness.
A terrifying future awaited them both if Kylia stayed here. She knew that either her enemies or the organization would soon find her here. After that, killing Kylia would be the most innocent kindness they could give.
Agung and Pasia village would disappear. The organization wouldn't want to leave evidence of their existence to the world. Reporting it to the authorities would be pointless because those in power needed dirty hands to do hidden tasks.
Kylia had tried to ask Agung to take her out of this village, leaving her in a remote place and forgetting they had ever met. But this kind and innocent man wouldn't do it. He asked Kylia to wait until she had fully recovered.
Despite Kylia's pleading, she was only met with Agung's sincere smile. The debt of gratitude she owed him was piling up, making Kylia feel suffocated.
Agung sat on a bench beside the bed and helped Kylia sit up. He started stirring the porridge and mixing soy sauce, chicken bits, and spices in it.
!
Kylia refused to be fed, feeling shy about accepting Agung's kindness. Slowly, she began to eat the porridge in front of her, which tasted very delicious, much better than the dry food she had been eating all this time and much better than the luxurious food she had eaten while in disguise.
Here, Kylia felt safe and calm. She felt the warmth of the family she had lost for a long time. She wanted to stay here forever. However, the image of her younger sister still being held captive by the organization made Kylia aware of reality.
She didn't want to linger in this warmth and return to her cold world. But...
At least she could rest for a while, right?
At least until her wounds healed. Let her feel this warmth a little longer.
"Is the porridge good, Kylia?" Agung interrupted her thoughts.
Kylia turned to look at Agung's face and fell silent.
"Ah... I don't mean to brag, but I used to sell chicken porridge before I became a fisherman. I had quite a few customers, and my chicken porridge was famous in the Pasia village. Even Mrs. Sri from the city praised my chicken porridge... Ah, I'm not bragging..."
"Why are you so kind to me?" Kylia interrupted Agung's rambling.
"..."
"You don't know me. I'm just a stranger with a gunshot wound. Don't you think I might be dangerous and bring harm to you and this village?"
"..."
"What do you want from me? I'm telling you I don't have any wealth you can ask for. I don't have a rich family. The only thing left of my family is my younger sister."
"..."
"Why aren't you answering? What do you want from me? Do you want my body? If that's what you want, then you can have it." Kylia placed the porridge bowl on the table and began to unbutton her pajama top.
She didn't care if Agung wanted to enjoy her body. She had been trained since childhood on how to serve men. She wasn't even worried if Agung impregnated her since her womb had been removed when she was only fifteen years old.
"NO!" Before Kylia could undo the first button, Agung stopped her hand with a frightened look on his face.
"I will never ask that of you!" Agung exclaimed.
"What's wrong? Am I not your type? Forgive me if my body is too skinny right now, you just need to give me a few days to get back to normal," Kylia said.
"That's not it!" Agung became more desperate.
"Then what is it? Don't you like women?" Kylia pushed away Agung's hand that was holding her.
"No, it's not that! I'm still normal, Kylia, and you're the most beautiful woman I've ever met in my life," Agung blurted out with a red face.
"Then what do you want from me?" Kylia asked.
"I just want to help you!"
"Bullshit!"
"..."
"Tell me honestly why you want to help me?"
"..."
Agung remained silent, staring straight into Kylia's golden eyes. His body froze, but his eyes expressed all the emotions he felt.
And Kylia could see those feelings clearly.
"Don't tell me... You're in love with me?"
"..." Agung remained silent.
"What? Why? When?"
"From the first time," Agung answered.
"..."
"..."
A long silence fell over the room, the sound of the waves could be heard through the window. Meanwhile, fishermen returned from a night of fishing and the fish market was reopened.
"A... Agung... I'm sorry... I..."
"It's okay, Kylia, I never asked for anything in return. Just consider it a gift from my kindness. Let me love you until you're healed and decide to leave this place. Can you let me do that?"
Agung stopped Kylia's apology and held her hand tightly. His smile, full of love, gazed at Kylia. He was no longer hiding behind the innocent face he had shown before.
Kylia now understood that Agung only looked innocent and foolish to make her feel comfortable and safe. Behind that, Agung understood everything that was happening and would happen to him.
But the fear of a bad future and a broken heart did not make him afraid to continue loving the woman he first met. For him, the fleeting happiness he received in the past few days was enough to be a memory he could cherish for the rest of his life.
Kylia's frozen heart suddenly beat again.
"..."
"..."
!
"O... okay," she said, hiding her face.
"Ah... tha.. thanks... hahaha... Hmm.. okay... ah... I have to go to the market to buy food for lunch."
"Hmm..." Kylia just nodded.
Agung walked backward, his eyes fixed on Kylia, who was looking down. Opening the door reluctantly, he said, "I'll go first."
"Hmm... take care."
"Bye."
"Bye."
The bedroom door closed again, leaving Kylia alone. Her face was hot, and her heart was beating fast. This was the first time she had ever felt like this.
Agung's face and gaze remained in her mind. A genuine smile, which had never before graced her face, slowly appeared, along with an unfamiliar feeling she had never experienced before.
But...
Before she could understand what was happening, her younger sister's face appeared in her mind. It wasn't the face she remembered and knew, but a horrifying face she had never seen before. But Kylia knew it was her younger sister.
At the same time, everything turned black.
Kylia returned to the darkness. A suffocating darkness that made her unable to feel anything but her presence. Along with it, loneliness gnawed at her heart and made her mind ache.
Kylia wanted to scream, but her voice didn't come out, as if the silence was an absolute law in this place. Loneliness made her struggle, and emptiness made her crazy, but she still felt it.
Uncontrollable anger.
"HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!!"
Suddenly, Kylia's stomach constricted, and she vomited everything out. The stomach acid burned her throat and nose, causing her to choke and lose her breath.
"HOW DARE YOU TRY TO FORGET ME!!!!"
'No... NO... Sister, I didn't forget you!' Kylia tried to scream, but her voice disappeared into the darkness and loneliness.
"I ONLY HAVE YOU!! WHY DID YOU FORGET ME? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?"
Kylia felt her body being sliced by thin swords, eroding her skin layer by layer until her bones were exposed. She wanted to scream, but darkness and loneliness swallowed her voice again.
"DIDN'T YOU SAY YOU WANTED TO BE MY FRIEND! DIDN'T YOU SAY YOU'D ALWAYS BE WITH ME! DIDN'T YOU SAY YOU'D HELP ME! DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT! WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?"
Kylia struggled, but her body felt trapped between two enormous mountains, pressing on her chest until her bones shattered.
In the torment that exceeded her brain's ability to receive pain, Kylia saw a figure she would never forget.
A golden-haired woman with eyes like gold looked at her, full of betrayal. Every inch of the woman's body was stabbed with pipes as thick as flagpoles. The holes in her body were connected by elongated hoses that stretched up to the sky.
One of her eyes was empty as if it had just been gouged out. Her teeth were crushed after iron pipes were forced down her throat. Seven needles, as big as adult fingers, were pierced into her throat, connected to a hard metal behind her neck, making her head unable to move in any direction.
But the thing that made the sight sealed in her memory was the woman's face. A face that was very similar to hers.
"I WON'T LET YOU GO JUST LIKE THAT! I WON'T LET YOU GO SO EASILY! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! DARKNESS DOESN'T WANT TO BE MY FRIEND! LONELINESS DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH ME! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! YOUR FAULT! YOUR FAULT! YOUR FAULT! WHY DID YOU GIVE ME HOPE!!! WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?"
Kylia's head felt like it was going to explode, her lungs felt like they were going to explode, her heart felt like it was going to explode, her skin felt like it was going to explode, and her blood felt like it was going to explode.
"No... No... No... No... NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
"Kylia!" Agung's voice woke her up.
"Pant... pant... pant..."
"What's wrong, Kylia?" Agung asked with great concern.
"Pant... pant... pant..."
Kylia didn't answer, looking around, she was already back in her room.