"learnt you called on me old boy," I said, and the Nabulus smiled infectiously.
"I admire your disdain for formalities, you make me feel youthful yet. bunch of these fool's act around me with an exaggerated veneration I found appalling, too much baggage on my weary bones, aye. But not you kuga. Sit down, and let's have coffee, it will do us both some good…"
Nabulus poured me a mug before sipping from his cup. he led me into an ajoining room where we continue our way up a flight of stairs leading into a garden.
"this must be a lab garden?".
"you guess right. This one opens to the skies though." I watched as he pressed a switch and the ceiling panels folded neatly exposing day light, fresh air rushed into the space, and I drink my fill. I knew this was not going to last.
"you seem to frequent this place" I said gesturing to the bed at left corner, and a table and a desk at the far right.
we sat on a bench.... and were quite for a while, as we imbibed the energy of natural vegetation, a priceless luxury in this forsaken ship.
"are you a botanist or something?". "I am just a lousy student of the in its myriad forms... and the behavior of this herbs depends on how each interact with the mother life force..."
" you must be having a terrific adventure on the study of these things?"
"Aha, the whole of life is terrific, Kuga. so thrilling, people hang themselves for the bliss of it."
"you can come in here anytime you want kuga."
"thanks Nabulus, is that your real name?".
"ah, where did you hear that name?"
"that is the name you ask me to called you when we first met."
"oh, I might have forgotten, this old thing been giving me trouble of late. That is the name, its actually Nebulous."
"as in hazy limitless, the eternal mist, the moving clouds?"
"aha, that is what they said I am, and it makes me wonder. I am here walking on the earth, oppressed by gravity, they claimed I am a moving cloud. The irony of man," he said, and grinned boyishly.
In the pocket of a bag on a wall, he brought out two regalia. The same brand Nka did shared with me the other day.
And I instantly remembered Mika's words;
"what does it mean to share a regalia with another man within the clan, misty one, or you rather prefer 'he who walk in the skies'."
the old man fixed me a quick cagy glance, before recomposing himself.
a dry smile crack opens his refine firm lips and he nodded, more to himself than to me, as if I was not even there.
"to share this special herb we have chosen, is a declaration of brotherhood, unity in strength, trust in the fact that the other man next to you will protect you with the last drop of his blood if it need be.
However, the weight of that oath is in the giver rather than the receiver.
Now you want to know what this place is, or probably ask what am doing here,?" he asked and turned his eyes on me with mischief.
"why are you here kuga?".
"I never chose to be here…?".
"that is not my question… okay, what brought you here?"
"Nka; a man who have taken it upon himself to enslave other men."
"and what did you do to invite such a man into your life?"
"is this some kind of interrogation? Did he put you up to this?"
"who?" Nebulous asked innocently. "Nka?". "who is that?". "the owner of this vessel." Nebulous laughed at this.
"and do you know the owner of this vessel?".
"I believe Nka owns it, and he is using it as a prison."
" there is no prisoner in this whole ship, everyone chose to be here including you," he said laughing through the hazy smoke of the regalia.
"well, I am tired of being here" I sighed in exasperation, bringing out white smoke, the residue of the blue one I did draw in.
"are you tired of being yourself? Or tired of incarcerating yourself for this long?" he asked matter of factually.
The conversation was proving disquieting to my single minded quest to find the truth.
And what did the old man mean by incarcerating myself?
"why run away from your own truth, answers to all the questions you have? ....
Your inner monster, so you call it, but who created it? is that not the very thing standing in your way now, your own monster.
You have given it flesh and bones, now it has become so huge, you dread to accost it one-on-one.
And no matter where you are, you want to be somewhere else. what a hopeless life that is.
I wouldn't be surprise if you think you are in prison kuga. fact is, you've never been free," Nebulous laughed again and continued…
"We put you in the arena again and again just to get rid of this monster. You want to know what this clan is all about? well, this a place people come to slay that inner monster…
it is there within you, it frightens you, shackling it wouldn't help.
Slaying the monster means unleashing it, wielding it to your will power, for your devil too has high hopes of attaining salvation, Kuga.….
you deny it this much, and your being will be a battle field your whole life...."
The tears were just whirling up in my eyes, taking their own course down my face.
the man was no more sitting beside me, he was inside me, breaking all the shackles, and restraints.
I feel all the pent up guilt, regret, sorrow, shame, for all the things I did done with the excuse that I am fighting for what is right.
I justify my actions as right because I felt I have been wronged, and all this draining emotions gathered together to form my imaginary monster.
Realization down on me. I did bring myself here, whether I am in the right or wrong.
Is there even such a thing? I am not sure anymore…. I am confused.
Nebulous was saying;
"it's good to be confused kuga, confusion is a good thing.
Look at the space right before us, its transparent, crystal clear, as though it held nothing.
But look at how the smoke come alive in this emptiness. The smoke only takes the shape in the sublime confusion all around us, it gives it a grey cloth to wear, and take its shape.
the smoke project the movement of nothingness, you can see it's rising up. everything is rising up Kuga. will you rise with it or resist it by gassing downward?"
"this is a sanctuary of sort; you mean?"
"it depends on what you wish it to be. Perhaps it's not about the place and time, but how we perceive things in whatever place in time we found ourselves."
"how long have you been here, Nebulous?". "longer than I could remember. Fact is my world remain the same no matter where I am. And that is what we stand for, that is what we are all about."
"what were you doing on those mountains living like a ghost?"
"one of the few times I come back to land, more like a Pilgrim."
"you sound like a stoic priest, old boy."
"oh, I am glad you notice," nebulous said and asked in a grinned, "what if, bringing you here did save your life, or perhaps, you came here for a much greater purpose.
Or you will rather deny this version of yourself, and go back to being who you were three years ago."
"I am proud of who I have become. I think my problem is not knowing what am doing, or where am heading?
Or not being in control. if being here did save my life, how much longer do I have to stay till that status change.
Actually, it's in my nature to be out there confronting my problems head on."
"what if we want you on our side, kuga?"
" why will you want me on your side, to do what actually?".
"you never read the testament, I see," nebulous stated grimly. "testament?", I asked in a frown,
"what are you talking about?".
"how much do you know about your linage? Starting from your grandparents."
"will you just tell me what I need to know, rather than keep going in circles old man?", I aked beginning to fume.
"Makilla gave you a patch of papers before she died, my guess is you never peep through those documents," he said gravely.
"and how do you know my grandma, or what she gave to me before she died?".
What sort of sorcery are these people practicing? How did they know about the documents my grandma gave to me on her death bed?
I did glance through the documents back in the days but my mental faculties couldn't digest what it was all about. I was hoping to decipher the content when I found myself competent enough, or found someone to help me unravel the dicey material.
Same documents in my safe that was stolen. I did suspects lycan hieghts, although Diana and shanaz never laid their hands on the documents.
But since the organization is in two factions, I wouldn't be surprise if one has it. the question is; which of them has it?
"how do you know about the documents, misty one in the skies."
"I know because, I gave them to her," He replied mysteriously.
"what sort of weird games are you playing now, old man?".
"why let your energies fluctuate this way kuga? If you are angry you called me old man, if you are sad, you called me; misty one in the skies, when you are being friendly you called me nebulous or old boy.
Can you pick one and stick with it, instead of draining your energies this way?"
"you said you gave those documents to her, how? Who are you Nebulous?"
"do you know the meaning of nebulous in the ancient dialect of your clan? My guess is you don't know; for had you known, you would've learnt that it means kuga."
I laugh in malice, as promnesia envelope me whole. who I thought I was torn into shreds till it diminishes into the something beyond time.
And I saw the image of my father, the image was me, this very person, but on a closer look it was that of Nebulous.
"no, you can't be him, he died a longtime ago. Granpa kuga, died a long time ago, long before I was ever born."
"I never told you I am your grandfather, I said my name in the mother tongue of our people is kuga.
Whoever your grandpa is, he is long gone, for this is one thing I want you to put in you twisted mind.
The kuga today, and the kuga tomorrow, are two different people."
What did nana said about grandpa kuga, "the man walk away, and never came back…". what if he never died. But how can he live that long?
"you formed Wodmax. ," I said, staring at the old man in the face, and he nodded and added "Makillas' idea".
"why did you sit around and let them kill him….".
"you mean you father? Who are we mere mortals to meddle with the mysteries of fate….".
"so you are one of them? Lycan heights?".
"no, I am all of them. I am Lycan heights."
I laughed again, this time at the tricks of the old man, and he laughed with me.
"you have been out of the sun so long, your mine begins to fail you right. You probably need some vitamins.
I was right about you being a monk. And my guess is you did meditate for so long, you think you are everything.
How did they called it, 'nothingness', and by being nothing, they have become everything? Nice one Nebulous….", I laughed and light up my regalia again, then drew the rich spicy smoke into my lungs, soaking it down to cool my jittery nerves.
What a joke, I thought to myself. "Nebulous, how about….," the words froze in my tongue, because when I turned to where he did been sitting, it was empty .
He was gone, as though he has never been there.