"when will you be back spooky?". "I don't know Ruby, as soon as I can, please don't use your phones, use the land line to call the number I gave you in case of an emergency."
"eat and sleep well Ruby, and whenever you think about me, say a prayer for my soul, for I very well will need a lot that… one other thing babe; don't venture into the woods all by yourself, promise me...."
"come to me my dear spooky." I threw myself into her arms and she held me to her soft chest, as we swing gently in the cool garden after breakfast."
"tell me more about your faith." "I have no faith Ruby...". the lady gave out a quick breath, and broke contact with me as though sting by a bee.
"what do you mean you don't have a faith?".
"because my faith is a faith of no faith Ruby."
"I don't understand spooky; I see you do that yoga thing. Put you fore heard on the ground."
"and if you did observe very well, you will realize I do it in an empty space." "yes. Does that have any significance?".
"look up the sky Ruby, do you think there is an end out there somewhere…?"
"no, but that doesn't explain anything." "it explains everything, if you but see it the way I see it."
"oh boy, you beginning to give me the creeps." This made me laugh. " you're beginning to sound like Kogna."
"I feel the same about you lately Ruby. Girl you scared the hell out of me, ever since the puma attack."
"why are repeating something we've both agreed not to mention again?" she asked solemnly.
"sorry Ruby. Look, my mouth is zipped close on that topic." "good for you Spooky. Now if you don't want me to go spooky on you again you better not raise the topic again."
"the faith of human kind is one and the same Ruby, no matter whatever creed one associate oneself with. It's all the same. We are governed by the same forces. The same eternal power…"
"what do you mean spooky?". "what I mean is, all this sages, prophets, messengers are talking about one and the same thing, but we the common people have a way of dividing everything into factions and dogma, well it gives us a sense of identity, but at the end of it all don't you think the universal identity of mankind is worth more than anything?
"whenever you placed your forehead on the ground, what is on you mind, what is the meaning and reasoning behind all that?".
"that is the symbol of absolute surrender to that power that encompasses all things, and keeps life flourishing and nourishing on auto pilot, you will call it divine grace and mercy. To some it's the Gaia, Chi, Tao, the ether, energy whatever…
it comes with so many names depending on the time and place, but its been the same seeking and craving for the divine mother of existence....
so succumb to that higher power, glorifying, and praising for the unconditional love, grace and mercy bestowed upon the world."
"wow, hoof, what a world?". "yes Ruby what a wonderful world, a heaven where everything is already given to us free of charge, breath of life, water, earth, fire, you put a grain or into the soil and it multiply a thousand times more, through no effort of our own. The gaia is real."
"you mean there is no difference between us except the barriers we create among ourselves?"
"yes Ruby, so far as the universe is concern we are all one people, I did rather want to side with the universe."
"you mean there is hope for what we have going on Spooky?". I have walked right into the trap of the maiden. She is cutting all the way to the core….
What kind of woman in her right mind will want to be with a nut case like me, and the fact that I want this woman so bad is the very reason why I needed her far away from me…"?
"how comes you are so quite now Spooky? Is there light at the end of the tunnel for us?".
"the simplest questions are the hardest to answer Ruby, why don't we talk about these things on my return babe, when our safety is guaranteed."
"let's talk about the here and now my dear Spooky, and let tomorrow handle tomorrow".
"oh, turning my words against me now". "can you put yourself in a ladies shoe just for a sec Spooky?".
"I wouldn't want to try Ruby, but I guess I know what you mean. It's a beautiful morning, and we are letting it slip by babe, with all this talks about tunnels and light, damn, I know I need you now, perhaps more than anything I ever wanted in my life."
"what about tomorrow Spooky?". "tomorrow, your whole opinion about me may change Ruby, and I wonder where that will leave us."
"your hair feels very soft and bushy Spooky," she said as she run her hand through my hear.
"I can give you a nice trim before you leave for the city." "I will be so grateful Ruby. Oh, wait you are not kidding are you?". "no Spooky, I am serious".
The lady ended up giving me a nice her cut I did ever have in a very longtime.
"wow Ruby, you are that good", I said and observe myself in the mirror toothlessly.
"have you seen Kogna anywhere around the house?". "no, he is with mom, they ventured outside into the village township, I think those two are up to something, yesterday I head mom whistling and singing when she returned home from their little walk which actually lasted closed to two hours…
the whistling gave her away, she has not done that for a very longtime until last night," she laughed, bite her lips and added "I wouldn't be surprise if she find the man appealing…",
she gasp and giggled, "oh can't believe I said that, mom will definitely kill me if she hears the last line," she said and we giggled together.
****†******†*****
I sat on the soft bed in my room and took a long breath to cool down my tensed nerves, these are probably my last days.
But it's time for me to face this off, I am going in blind without a well laid out plan and that can cause me my life… damn, I am already a dead man.
When I walked down stairs the vibe was moody across the dining table, and the launch felt like the last supper.
We all ate in silence, I and Ruby locked eyes every now and then, and I sense Kate and Kogna barely doing the same thing.
Kogna carried himself differently, like a gentleman, what the hell is going on? Kate and Kogna? Wow, what a world, the contrast between the two is perhaps the trigger of their attraction to each other.
I wouldn't be surprise.
Every now and then we have a princess choosing her prince from the ghetto trenches.
But I was concern, I didn't want the gun man around this suspicious woman. I am finding had trusting anybody, not even Ruby.
"running back to the clustered place so soon kuga, I guess my cookies didn't taste good enough".
"no Nana, I have a little business I have to take care of, I will be back as soon as I get the chance."
"I believe it has to do with the troubled look in your eyes since the day you've returned?".
"no troubles Nana, it's purely fatigue, stress from work, I will be fine Nana only if you don't worry about me."
"oh, you don't tell a crony not to worry. At our age, all we do is worry about our young, and you are all I have left kuga. But you are doing nothing about keeping the family line going, I can see bits of grey in your beard and hair kuga, you are not getting any younger. When will you stop running around and have your own family?"
'what has gotten into the old woman kuga? "why don't you tell me spooky?".
I stiffen involuntarily at this question, but continue to enjoy the hot banku with okro stew, garnish with cooked crab, roasted salmon and walley, one of my favorite dishes, whenever I am travelling.
Kate and Ruby exchanged a fleeting glance but I caught sight of it, while Nana had her looks switching between I and Ruby.
"are you going to sit there and say nothing? Oh, I did forgot men are children when it comes to this things, not until we women drug them by the balls."
At this, Kate burst out laughing, causing everyone to follow suit, except me.
I was trying very hard not to burst out crying or whaling, or to simply storm out of the hall and run into the endless stretch of wilderness at the backyard of the house and never return.
The words of the old woman went straight into the fear centers deep within me, resurrecting most of my worst dreaded fears.
Fear of being the last breed of my family, the end of the blood line, a failure to the honor and memory of my ancestry.
And the fear of ending up alone without anyone or anywhere to belong, …
I am human after all, and I want to belong and to be cared for, but isn't all that too late now?
I have started a war with a formidable enemy without knowing what I was getting into. Winning against such a force is out of the question. Coming out alive is the only hope I can cling to, however futile it seems.
The food suddenly felt stale in my mouth as I washed my hands and I stood up, feeling the intensity of four pair of eyes drilling holes on me….