Legend Ten
The Phobes of Morhed
OR
(It's not gay to get your dick sucked!)
And just like that, the party finally got a good night's sleep after the spectacle that was curing Quinn of the strange potion's effects.
Once it was all said and done, the party decided that the secret lab was far too dangerous to leave unattended. With a bit of protest from Quinn and Barric, who wanted to try and drink the rest of the odd potions, the lab was hastily destroyed. Though plenty of entertainment was to be had by the party as they threw the glass bottles that contained the mystery potions against the cobblestone wall and watched as each one burst into bright colors.
Layla and Sylas were hesitant to partake in the barbaric form of entertainment, but soon joined in the bottle smashing after witnessing how satisfying the glass shattering on the wall felt.
And finally, the party was back on the road, heading north once again, doing their best to make their way as far as they could before the inevitable antics stole their time and attention once more.
Layla stared ahead with tired eyes, for she had been listening to Barric talk for about half the day now. He went on about his new found sexuality, though she felt he was being a bit hyperbolic and only half-right.
"How could I have been so blind?" He went on. "The best tours start at the back door. Like nothing I had ever experienced in my entire life, with enthusiasm I have never seen. It was no longer a blow job for him, it was as if it had become a blow privilege!" Barric waxed poetically.
"It certainly felt that way." Sylas commented.
Quinn rolled his eyes as he listened to the King the entire time, following close behind him.
"But with this new discovery I have also lost something. I can already feel my interest in women waning and I fear for my next chance meeting with the Queen of Wolves. Tragically, I'll have to inform her that I am no longer the Mother Fucker, but the Mother Cucker because I fuck people's dads! ...Or wouldn't it be because I fuck women's husbands? The point is, someone's dad and or husband is getting fucked!" The King exclaimed, finally pausing his monologue for a moment.
Layla and Quinn were already sick of this, while Hana just seemed disappointed.
"Would I also be an uncle fucker in this case?" Barric wondered out loud. "Perhaps so, but-"
"Look!" Layla said, cutting him off.
The path through the woods they had been following finally came to an opening and revealed rolling plains where a city could be seen in the distance.
It had been a while since they had come upon an actual city and not just some odd structure in the woods housing demons, carnies, or a secret laboratory.
"Finally!" Layla shouted, taking off into a run. "A warm bath!" She said, getting far ahead of the rest.
Quinn giggled and took off running as well, his excitement inspiring the King to do the same with Hana taking off to keep up with him, leaving Sylas behind all by himself.
Sylas sighed in annoyance, not wanting to put in any effort past a quick walk, but soon had to run to keep up with the others.
After a few minutes, the demon was able to catch up with the others as they had all slowed back to a walk.
Barric pat his sister on the back and laughed as she panted for breath.
"You're out of shape, sis! Should have spent more time training instead of practicing magic tricks!" He joked as the elf walked on, panting. The rest of the party seemed to fare better, as they all had more physical careers prior to their new lives as adventurers.
Sylas was relieved they slowed down when they did. He would have also struggled to keep up, seeing as before this, he always went out of his way to find the easiest means of transportation over walking. Whether that meant hitching rides on carts, commandeering unattended horses, or traveling through waygates.
After a bit more walking and complaining on Layla's behalf, they would soon enough make it to the city's gates.
The city itself was built in a style even the well-traveled king had never seen. Nearly everything was constructed of smooth, white stone, held aloft by intricate pillars that were etched with the ancient lores of their society.
The gates were already open, trader carts flowing in and out, indicating it was a peaceful enough city. The party was able to casually stroll in and only turn a few heads, likely because of the huge red demon they had in tow.
Almost as soon as they had entered, they came upon the city square, where a crowd was gathering. Curiosity always got the better of the king, and he led the party straight through the throng of people to see what they were gawking at.
In the middle of the city square, there rested three stockades, of which the middle one was occupied by a large man. The man himself was of peak physical condition, with all rippling and defined muscles. He sported short golden blond hair and a chiseled jaw, but a soft and kind looking face. He wore a plain garb of a white toga and brown sandals.
Another man who looked nearly identical to the one imprisoned, but his hair was of a dirtier blond, stood in front of the stocks and began to speak to the crowd.
"It is a sad day in our city whenever one of our own citizens must be punished, even sadder when the offender is caught in the act red handed with such a blatant and almost defiant disregard for our laws. This is one such citizen. Caught in the act of sodomy, buggery, and over all gay ass acts. Though he knew our laws and the motto of our city. Morhed! If you do not like Morhed, then you like less head, and this would infer you are a homosexual!" The man proclaimed, putting his arms out as if to lord over the crowd. The crowd itself went wild with cheers and chants of:
"Morhed! Morhed! Morhed!"
The so called crimes of which the stranger would be punished for disturbed Barric that they should even be considered crimes. The King's sense of justice began to stir as he felt the city's people misunderstand his new found sexuality.
Once the crowd began to quiet, but before the speaker had another chance, the King shouted out.
"Well, gays like head to, ya know!"
The crowd gasped and all looked about to find who had shouted such a comment. The speaker raised an eyebrow as he had spotted the King immediately.
"And how would you know this sir?" The speaker asked.
"Because!" The King shouted back, the entire crowd now turning to watch him.
"I'm fucking gay…" Barric said, crossing his arms and taking a confident stance with a slight grin. Layla pinched the bridge of her nose and looked down, letting out a long sigh. Quinn rolled his eyes with a general look of disappointment. The crowd let out a loud gasp at the King's bold statement.
"What is this?" The speaker said. "There is a homosexual in our midst? Do you not know our laws?" He asked.
"I do not! I am gay, I am the King of Ol' Tameria, and I am new in town!" Barric explained.