My eyes continued staring at the ceiling until the sunlight reflected on it. Even though it was the morning, my mind was still on yesterday since it was my first time accepting someone. Not to mention, he was my first genuine love. All the ones I had before were one-sided and did not bother with them since I had a timid personality.
I let out a long sigh, feeling excited, tense and confused at one time. Dating was prohibited in our family and there's my sister who ran away while I started dating. My father would probably pass out if he heard that.
But all of my worries and problems faded away when I caught sight of that smile. To my utter surprise, his comforting voice and smile always helped me as a painkiller and stress reliever. Ethan greeted me just like usual but when I got closer, he took my hand and kissed the back of it leaving me in awe.
My eyes looked around like a prisoner to check if anyone saw.
"Ethan! What are you doing? We're in school." My loud whisper made him laugh.
"That doesn't mean I can't greet my love. You didn't sleep well last night, did you? Your eyes look restless." He said as we walked inside the school building.
"It's because you suddenly did that," I mumbled from embarrassment, thinking how that junior made my heart flutter like that.
Days went by like the waves of the ocean. But these days were like a wonderland to me as our friendship and emotions went deeper. I could feel Ethan's positive obsession towards me and I wasn't any different. Very soon, the day of my graduation arrived, making Ethan the saddest person among everyone since we'll be separating our ways for college. He refused to let go of me throughout the whole day. When the time of the final goodbye arrived, he and I sat on a bench under the yellow caramel tree while looking at each other.
He steadily brushed my hair off my neck and moved closer while giving me shivers, "You can open your eyes. I won't do anything." I heard his whisper in my ear when I opened my eyes to see a beautiful pendant around my collarbones
"It's so pretty..." My sight got blurry when I felt a thud in my chest. I felt my cheeks getting wet.
"Hey...hey Irene. Look at me. I'll always be there for you. Maybe not physically. We only have to wait a few years, ok? So don't be sad, hmm?" I couldn't take my eyes off his smiling face that couldn't hide his distress.
"I love your smile, Irene. Please smile for me and wait for me there. I will come to get you soon. I love you, Irene."
His gentle and soft voice made me feel even more miserable since I knew there was no guarantee I might hear that voice again after leaving the city.
"We can't tell what happens hereafter. I'm scared of my family's audacity. But I don't want to lose you either, Ethan. What if-" He pressed his two fingers on my lips to stop me from talking,
"Close your eyes..." He leaned closer before I could shut my eyes and kissed me, leaving his two fingers between our lips.
"Have faith in me. Have faith in our feelings. I will never let you go. If you stop loving me, I will make you fall for me again. So please don't worry about these things and focus on your dreams." He cupped my cheeks as I nodded while smiling at him. We bid our final goodbye that day with a last hug of 10 minutes since both of us refused to let go.
The next morning, I left the city with my father and mother for a new life. Everything went immaculate until my sister returned with her husband and my life broke into pieces.
I lost touch with Ethan and the others. I got devastated by the arguments at home and the distress. My mind became cynical about everything and I was unable to take things positively.
In the middle of all the chaos that day, I witnessed those soothing brown eyes as the wind brushed off his soft hair. It was Ethan looking for me in front of my college.
"Irene!" He called out my name and I held back everything inside of me as I made up my decision.
"I missed you so much. Why didn't you reach out to me? Navee was worried too."
"I got a bit busy adjusting to life here you know?"
"I see...Are you okay?" The question made me freeze for a moment. Such a simple question yet hearing it from him made me want to cry and let it all out. But I took a deep breath instead as I walked along with him by my side.
"Irene, I'm 18 now. I can't hold back anymore,"
"What do-" Before I could finish, he pulled me closer and pressed his soft lips against mine. Without resist, I let him kiss me as long as he could.
"Ethan, let's break up," My words made him look as if he got pierced by a knife.
"Huh? What do you mean suddenly? What happened, Irene? Did your parents do something? Tell me, what's wrong? I'll fix it." Ethan's eyes widened as he grabbed my shoulder while sounding desperate.
"Nothing happened. I merely think you're not compatible enough. You know my dad's a director so I might get married to a senior from an allied company. It's better to sort out the mistake beforehand." I pushed him away.
"Mistake? You're addressing the feelings we had as a mistake?
Why are you lying to yourself, Irene? If you're having trouble just let me know and we can work-"
"There's nothing. I don't love you anymore so just stop being ignorant. You should move on." I turned away to leave but he grabbed my hand.
"Don't leave. Tell me it's all a prank. I'll make myself better, didn't you say you'll watch me? Please don't leave." I felt a crushing sensation in my heart as I bit my lips to say, "You believed in mere words? That was naive of you, Ethan."
He released my hand to look away, "I understand. I hope you won't regret today's decision and remember my words."
The two of us turned our backs to each other and walked towards our lives.