"Hey Katy," Dale said.
I was too stunned to respond as I held onto the door knob. Even my thoughts and words were lost on me. Even though I knew I would eventually get in touch with him, I never expected my brother to just show up.
"Can I come in?" He asked. We have barely spoken in three years, and when I did talk to him, it was when Dad was around, so he wouldn't suspect anything was wrong. Dale tried to apologize a few times, but I didn't care. I still didn't want to hear him out, but I wanted him gone before Carter arrived. I moved out of the way to let him in. Once I closed the door, I watched him expectantly.
"I know I've said it before, but Katy, I'm sorry. I was trying to protect you when I learned about you and Carter, but I ended up snapping. I ought never to have spoken the way I did," he apologized.
"Okay."
"Okay?" He asked, looking lost.
"Okay," I repeated simply. I didn't care right now. I did not want to see him right now. I just wanted him gone.
"Katy…" Dale started, his face twisting in pain. "I recognize that you are an adult now and that I have no right to attempt to control your life. All I want is to partake -"
Dale was then interrupted by the doorbell. I responded to it while internally moaning. Carter was here. When I finally had him to myself, I had spent a lot of time scheming, and now I had to get rid of Dale.
"Hey…" I said, shakily.
"Hi… Are you okay?" Carter asked, examining my face in a worried manner. He saw how uncomfortable I was rather than the attractive style of my hair and clothes. I composed myself by recalling my poker face.
"Sure, lemme go grab that inhaler," I said, purposefully keeping the door wide so he could see Dale and Dale could see him. I had no desire to conceal our relationship once more. I want Dale and Carter to be aware of that. And I was aware of Dale's fury. I could eject him from the room and end the conversation if he went off.
-Flashback-
Carter pulled at my white tank top and shorts as we lay in bed facing one other, he murmured, "Too many clothes."
He was berating me for wearing pajamas. Absent the bra and underpants, it was the same as my workout attire. It served no purpose. I understood that having on underwear would simply slow him down since Carter's occasional overnight stays couldn't do so frequently. So when he came, we made the most of it.
Invading my space with his hands, he began massaging my breast. "I don't know why you have to sleep in your clothes," he said.
I responded back, gasping, "I don't understand why you don't."
"I usually do, but I felt why bother because there is absolutely no risk of a youngster running in in the middle of the night?" He responded while sliding my nipples between his fingers and grinning. I groaned and started to pull back a little to get my tank out. He continued to play with the other nipple as he leaned in and swallowed one into his mouth. I smiled at him as I stared down at him and felt pleasure go throughout my entire body.
"Happy?" Barely saying the words.
"Nearly," he said. He moved us over so that I was straddling him with a strength and speed that astounded me. He shoved his pelvis up against me, and I gasped.
"If you weren't wearing those shorts…" he said after pausing. He pushed me up forcefully while holding my hips down, brushing me between my thighs with his hardness. I screamed. He continued to bounce me against him, grunting, "I would be inside of you right now."
"Carter!" I struggled, panting and trying to move my shorts out of the way.
He pulled my shorts into position, saying, "No more clothes while you're in bed with me.
"But… What if there is a fire, though?" I grumbled. A smile appeared on his face.
"Fine. No shorts or pants."
"But I - "
"Your shirts are big enough to keep everything crucial covered," he interrupted me. He then moved in slow motion, guiding my hips towards his, creating an incredible grinding motion in our pelvises. I was prepared to accede to all of his requests when someone banged on my door.
"Go away!" I yelled at Roxanna, and Carter chuckled.
"You need to get out here now! Dale is at the door," she hissed.
Hearing that was like having a bucket of cold water dumped all over my body. I hopped up and got dressed properly in underwear.
Carter was getting dressed too.
"Please, just stay in here. I'm going to get rid of him, and I'll be right back."
He reluctantly agreed, and I hurried to the living room. I could tell by the look on my brother's face that he knew what I was up to and with whom.
"Dale-" I started.
He cut me off, shaking his head. "I couldn't believe it… No, I didn't believe it when I heard you were sleeping with him. But here I am, once again, seeing it with my own eyes."
"Dale, just listen to me."
"For what? What do you possibly have to say? That's not his truck out there? It was an accident?" He responded, darkly.
"No, I'm sorry," I said pathetically.
"You're sorry? Before, it wasn't your fault, now you're sorry. I'm starting to think you have some serious issues that make you think sleeping with inappropriate men is okay." He ranted.
He didn't realize the fatal mistake he had made by making that statement. Fatal, because at that moment, the brother I loved and admired died. The fact that he would bring up that painful memory, the one I buried deep when I was 16 years old, let me know that I needed to get this stranger out of my home. Immediately.
"Get out," I said calmly, looking him in the eye.
"What?"
"I said get out. You can't have anything left to say to me, so leave. You're not welcome here anymore." I said detached.
He momentarily looked hurt, but then said, "Fine. I'll let you get back to your friend. Don't come to me when it ends badly." With that, he stormed out.
-Present-
While I attempted to give Carter the inhaler, Dale calmly waited. Suddenly, Carter took hold of my hand.
"If you need anything, call me, alright?" He spoke while turning to face my brother before looking directly into my eyes. Carter took the inhaler and walked away as I nodded.
As soon as I turned around to face Dale, he took a long breath. "We've been through too much together, and we're too close, for anyone to try to separate us. No matter if you're with him-"
"This is not about him!" I cut him off, frustrated. Once again, here he was, thinking he could tell me what to do. I'm grown; I don't need his permission.
"Then what is it? This silent treatment has been going on for too long. I don't understand."
"You wouldn't, would you? You and Dad never did! Only, looking out only for your own feelings and agendas, never stopping to think about how I feel!" I exclaimed. "Never! And the second I try to do anything, I'm wrong!"
"I understand that I do. That's why I'm sorry, especially about bringing up Perez. I know that wasn't your fault-"
"I'm not interested!" I don't mind if you point the finger at me. I'm sure Dad feels the same way I do." I exploded. I couldn't decide whether I was more wounded or irritated that he even mentioned his name. I'd had enough of being hurt. "I could forgive everything. I'll never forgive you for lying to me about my father and mother! Then there's your affair with Shana to top it all off! I'm not sure I even want to!"
Dale paled. "Dad told you?"
"Of course not," you say. He would have taken that secret with him to the grave. When I asked him, he assumed I had told him. Dale, I attempted to locate my mother. Instead, I found an aunt. Can you imagine my surprise when I discovered that my father initially mistook me for his biological daughter? It was ten times worse to discover you had known the entire time! How could you not have told me? Is that why your mother left? Isn't that right?!?" I confronted him angrily.
"Katypad-" He began. I hated him using the fun nickname Josiah called me at this moment.
"No. Don't ever call me that! Why didn't you inform me? Did Dad promise to keep his distance if you kept the secret? I felt as though I owed him everything. I wouldn't have let him manage my life for all those years if I'd known he took me in because he thought I was his!" I burst out laughing, tears streaming down my cheeks. He took a step closer to me, and I took a step back. "No, no. I'm exhausted. It's horrible enough that it was my parents' fault. I don't want to be a burden to you anymore." I sobbed.
"Katy… You will always be my little sister. I get that we have to change what that means for us, but I'm always here for you. Just call me whenever you need me, okay?" He said it softly.
When I just nodded, he turned around and left. I closed the door and broke down. Over my sobs, I hear the doorbell again. I took a deep breath as I opened the door, preparing for round two. I was stunned again to see Carter standing there.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, wiping my tears away.
"I made the mistake before of leaving when I knew you weren't okay. I'm not doing that again." He said it firmly.
He was referring to the first argument I had with my brother. I went back to my room after evicting Dale, not knowing how much Carter had heard. He'd had enough, judging by the look on his face. Instead of discussing it, I asked him to go. He agreed, and I didn't hear from him again for a week. When he contacted me, I ignored him for another week, blaming it on my graduation. He made a point of calling me shortly after I graduated, so I'd have no excuse not to talk to him. I just allowed him in tonight. I was too exhausted to struggle any longer.