— Ryan Romano.
The person who called my name looked like a typical representative of the working class, "bound by one chain of indestructible capitalism": dark circles under the eyes, sunken cheeks accentuating prominent cheekbones, and generally looked haggard.
However, this man was a professor at the Magic Academy and a 5th-Circle magician, which made him one of the best at the academy within the "Grau Zauber" association of magicians.
And this skinny man, whom everyone simply called Professor Wins, spoke in a business-like tone:
"You probably know why I called you."
I only nodded. Not that I had an inflated self-esteem or vice versa, I didn't put myself above anything, no, I just knew exactly what this conversation would be about. After all, this conversation happens every year for the past three years.
"Your written exam results are perfect. You scored the maximum score in all subjects. I'm sure no professor in the academy could write these tests as brilliantly as you, let alone the students…"
If these words were said to me in a past life, I would surely have smiled with self-satisfaction, but alas, my academic knowledge is now the most ridiculous reason for pride.
"However, you cannot graduate from our academy because your practical results... are unsatisfactory."
To graduate from the magic academy, you need to score seventy points in a written exam and become a third-circle mage. However, to the shame of all reincarnators, I was born with a small amount of magic power and weak sensitivity, that is, almost devoid of magical talent.
As a result, I have been unable to graduate from the academy for the third year in a row.
"Hmm… What Circle are you in now, Rayan? – Professor Wins asked with a disappointed voice."
He asked the same question last year and the year before that. However, my answer remained the same.
"... 2nd."
It was a nightmare number.
Most students at the academy usually became 2nd Circle magicians by the end of the first year, and by the time they transitioned to the third year, they became 3rd Circle magicians. In rare cases, particularly talented students upon graduation from the academy became 4th Circle masters.
However, I have already spent four years in the academy and still have not been able to overcome the wall separating me from the 3rd Circle. Furthermore, this was not my only problem.
"Have you been able to master the magic of the 2nd Circle?"
"...No, it didn't work out for me," I tried to answer as calmly as possible.
The lack of magical power is only half the problem, because I could get it from external sources. Of course, this is a costly method, but on the other hand, the scales are weighed by the possibility of using magic. After all, this is the dream of any modern person.
Where my sensitivity is more important, or more accurately, almost its complete absence. Sensitivity is linked to the ability to control magical power. Magicians with high sensitivity are more powerful than their colleagues, even if they use the same spell. It also directly affects the speed of accumulating magical power. Personally, I compare sensitivity to a magician's natural talent, which unfortunately cannot be increased.
'What's the point of knowing magical theory better than most professors in the academy? With such poor magical sensitivity, I will never become a full-fledged magician. Spending 4 years here and not even mastering magic of the 2nd Circle... It seems hopeless.'
I was gazing thoughtfully at the gray sky outside the window.
Any other student would have given up long ago... But I, who knew about the lack of talent better than anyone else, did not stop trying to get to the required level for three consecutive years.
Professor Wins, slightly embarrassed, pulled a envelope out of the box. It was not the first time, but it seemed that the weight of the envelope had increased over the years. The envelope contained a letter that was given to those who were supposed to go on a repeat course.
"It's my duty as a professor, but... I can't shake the feeling that I'm doing something wrong towards you. I'm sorry."
"...No, it's all good."
"Before you throw it away, read it. Compared to last year, there shouldn't be much change in it, but who knows."
I calmly took the envelope from the professor's hands.
Honestly, I couldn't care less about this letter because I'm receiving it for the third time. But I couldn't care less about the fact that I messed up again. The feeling of defeat was eating me up inside and, probably, it's impossible to get used to it.
I cast a dull gaze at the letter in my hand. Initially, like any other young person, I embarked on the path of becoming a wizard due to a childlike naive dream of a great wizard, flying in the sky and casting hundreds of spells on his enemies. Moreover, I was a reincarnator, even more so in the anime world.
But when I turned six, life decided to confront me with a grim reality. I was born into a family of wizards, and from childhood, my parents taught me about the magical world, including its dangers. Maybe then the reincarnation confused my mind, and I did not perceive this world as real. And life knocks you off your feet sometimes, it can even be very painful.
Like any other wizards, my parents went on "business trips" that were essentially missions from the wizard association "Graw Cauber." And one evening instead of my parents, a wizard came to the house with two cans of ashes and a letter of condolences from some marshal. A damn horrible invitation to Hogwarts.
I think that at that moment I finally realized that I am alive and the world and people around me are real. It's a shame that because of this I lost a lot of very valuable things...
And then... later I was taken to a children's home for children with a predisposition to magic. Since you can only enter the magic academy at the age of twelve, I was taken to a special "magical" children's home.
And what could you think, all these six years I have been training. Yes, cliches, but you don't have to judge strangers so quickly either. I was emotionally broken due to the loss of my parents, so diving into training helped me recover. In addition, spiritually, I was almost two decades older than the people around me - children.
So, I went to bed later than everyone else and got up earlier than everyone else. I worked and studied with enthusiasm, sacrificing sleep to practice a little more with my mana. Instead of complaining about my fate and injustice, I thought that if I put in more effort, I would definitely achieve results. And at first, that's what happened, because I finished a four-year course in just one year.
'Maybe I was too optimistic?'
This year, my classmates, whom I first entered the walls of the magic academy with, are finishing their education. And I remained an eternal sophomore, burdened with the nickname "worthless genius."
'When did everything go wrong?'
Maybe it all started when the attempt to activate the spell failed when I was still living in the orphanage? When I realized that my magical sensitivity was a hopeless venture?
Or when, for several years, I couldn't master the basic spells, while it only took my classmates a couple of weeks? Or when, just a few days before the graduation ceremony, I received my first letter about the need to repeat the course?
Or, perhaps... Perhaps, when I first started dreaming of becoming a wizard?
'Curse'.
I have never been bothered by the injustice in my life before, because it's the most pointless and stupid activity, but now... now I can't curse the one who gave me a second chance.
My patience seems to have reached its limit.
To be born a talented mage? No, instead I ended up in a completely talentless world where a guy has to get strength from breasts.
If not talent, then at least to get some kind of gift for reincarnators? It feels like I refused it or quarreled with the God who gave me a second life before my reincarnation.
And if not all of this, then at least to have some luck to live my new life without deprivation and "survival"? But no, the Gods surely do not love something as boring and ordinary as a happy life.
Of course, someone will surely say: it's a sin to complain about a second chance, after all, there is a rule: given - take it. But if you were given a glass of poisoned wine to drink, would you swallow it? I think not.
And the funniest thing is that one could live this life as an ordinary person: go to a regular school, a regular university, to a regular job, but unfortunately, I was born into a family of magicians, which determined "the branch of my development"... An absolutely hopeless situation.
"I have to go back to classes," I said emotionlessly.
As soon as Professor Winn nodded in agreement, I turned around and headed for the exit.
Boom!
The door closed with a much louder impact than when I entered.
"Your parents didn't want you to have this life," the words floated in the air in the office as if carried by the wind.
With a heavy expression, Professor Winn looked at the door, but after a few seconds, he lowered his gaze to the book, the pages of which had not been turned over for a long time.
Ding! Bam! Bom!
A loud bell rang in the corridor. The clock has given a signal that it was evening.
Walking to my dormitory, I suddenly stopped.
"... If I recall, I haven't eaten dinner yet. Should I go to the dining hall now?"
After a little thought, I just shook my head. Due to the letter in my hand, I had no appetite. Then maybe I should go back to the dormitory and go to sleep? No, I lost a good sleep too. It would be a real happiness if I could fall asleep without seeing any nightmares.
In the end, my feet headed in the same direction as always.
This place was rarely visited by strangers, and it was the most comfortable in the entire Academy for such a "worthless genius" like me. The library.