Lita grew up to be such a nice lady. Time had passed, surely time passed by. It means I grew up also. But I can't say if I also grew up to be such a nice lady like Lita.
Maybe she already forgot about, but I can't forget about her. I really envy her, but not too much. I would just be playing like a grasshopper but she would be working like the ant. It's not just I'm lazy, I just do my part while; she has to do many things. I just like by myself so I work for myself while she has to work for herself and her family.
Should I be thanking my mother for leaving me? Lita works hard because they have many family members.
And she goes to school too, that really something to envy at. I can't send myself to school. I used to play with her when we were still young, I mean young. An age wherein soils or dirt is something that we play with. And now that we were quite grown up, we can have our own opinions now.
We can decide on our own. She will get married, soon. It's too soon for me. But if she felt like her Romeo is here, and her Romeo felt like she is her Juliet. Then, so be it. That's her decision.
Her wedding is a big celebration thus it will last for 7 days, her father is a (1)kadangyan, so they can butcher pigs as many as they want. Lita's father took care of everything because the guy, Lita's soon to be husband is a (2)dayo on their land. He has nothing on his back when he came in this place. He was actually a worker of their farm, he is charming. He is the strongest among all the workers. He got it all, he got it, except that's not attractive to Lita at all.
I excitedly climbed the stairs of their ³ab-abong, I made sure my steps were light and made sure nothing is on my way,because I'd be in huge trouble if the white haired men will be disturbed by the noise. The room was dimly lit that's why I can only see a two shadows,but I immediately recognized the bride,Lita. Her sparkling pieces of jewelry were shimmering,their reflection are dancing around the room,everytime the fire get a glimpse of the golds attached to her body.
I supposed the fire light was on its edge that's why her companion stood up to get more light. She was left alone in the dark, but I felt as though her aura today is much darker than the darkness. I slowly walked towards her using my instinct. I managed to get inside ,I was near her yet seem so far for I could not fathom what she is thinking right now. Her eyes are dead empty. I tried to comfort her by patting her back and, then some shadows entered the room, that's when I knew we are all concerned for her. I hushed the others because I can hear their whispers,I don't want Lita to be disturbed by our noise.
Her companion came back and was holding a much brighter light now. Lita must have had looked directly at her companion's light as I saw her shining,shimmering tears rolled down her cheeks. She is sad,certainly sad,while;
Outside this dark room is bright and lively people dancing around the huge fire; we are lamenting around this fire. The stern voice of Lita's companion scared the others,and thought how terrible she was to say that to Lita. She was in command,she said a name or something that actually made us be scared of her. I don't want to leave but I don't know how to comfort her either because I never experienced what she was feeling and maybe forever never will.
My companions were teary eyed when we went out but what can we do? We don't know if she can feel our sympathy. Her companion was giving her the courage to face what she has to do since there's no way out now. Everything was set and it would be a huge embarrassment if the wedding was to be called off.
I realized our friendship is fragile. Yet we have many similarities but we have a huge difference. She doesn't want to get married, she wants to continue her studies. And as she said while sobbing, she is not still in her bloom of youth. She wants to have more aside from just being a wife.
The shouts of happy and drunkard people outside drowned her heavy sigh but it will certainly will be until her last breath as, she is a woman. A woman with silent voice. I joined the people near the large fire ,a group of people who turned out to have silent voice just like Lita. An elederly woman voiced out the advantages or the good side of it,but ended it with a note of sadness,her sadness.
Thus she is sharing the same sadness of Lita.The younger women in the circle sighed also as it might happen to them also.
Turns out she was in a ₄tumok marriage. It's not her will to get married, they cornered her. The elderly men cornered her. I thought it's a bullcrap, but no. It's real. How does that work anyway?
1- Kadangyan- a kankanaey language for a rich person. They are usually the people who will butcher 5-15, or more than pigs when it comes to weddings, death or any ritual ceremony.
2-Dayo– a kankanaey language for stranger, not born of that village
3- Ab-abong – kankanaey language for hut. Hut before has stairs because huts before were built with longer posts. The first floor is open and is usually where the animals will stay pigs, hens,or dogs. The stairs can be pulled up at night so that no one can climb it.
4- Tumok- kankanaey language for arranged marriage. It's not like any other arrange marriage where they will just tell them to marry. If a man like a girl and he can directly go and tell it to the elderly men. A group of elderly men will then go the woman. They will make a story or situation; they will ask the woman if ever she picked up a handkerchief or wallet. Then if the woman will say that she never had, then they will keep on telling her that someone saw her picked up a handkerchief or wallet. And the only solution for that is to marry the owner of that wallet or handkerchief.
It sounds awful, yes but that's a tradition before and it's not being done today. My grandparents and other relatives were the ones who experienced this kind of marriage. But not all of them got married through this, some got to choose their own partner. The explanations here are not as accurate as I only rely on the stories that I've heard.