Monday 0800
Annie was dressed for work and about ready to leave the house. She grabbed her bag, checked she had her phone and her keys and let herself out. Her heart felt like lead and the longing for the handsome stranger was as strong as ever, in fact it was growing. Sabine was still weak and despite praying to the Goddess, Annie hadn’t been able to talk to her. It had been a fitful night’s sleep and without Sabine’s strength, she had no idea how she was going to get through the day. There were no lectures before ten so Annie decided to go for a swim before work. Punishing workouts and burying herself in work had helped her recover last time and Annie sincerely hoped it would work again, life without her wolf was horribly lonely and almost unbearable.
Growing up Annie had always looked forward to meeting her mate and watched from afar as her brother and sister met theirs and for them, it was everything it was meant to be. She grew up hearing tales of how special the mate bond is to wolves, the feeling of euphoria and oneness with someone who would feel the same about you. It was all lies though, not every wolf had their happy ending and the mate bond had brought her nothing but pain.
The university pool was always quiet at that time of morning so Annie pushed herself to complete fifty lengths of the pool before showering and dashing to teach her first lecture. She looked at her new first year students, all sat enthusiastically with pens poised ready to take notes. There were sixty of them now, but she knew by the end of the first term that number would be whittled down to at least half. Some would drop out citing it was not what they wanted anymore, some would stop coming to lectures, submit no work and would be asked to leave, and some would change courses finding the sheer amount of reading, essay writing and exams overwhelming. Annie plastered a fake smile on her face and commenced with her day. By late in the afternoon she was exhausted and tearful, she collected her notes together and decided to do next week’s lesson plans at home rather than at the office. The pretending was wearing on her nerves, at least alone at home she could drop the act. As she walked to the bus stop she was so tired and miserable she didn’t notice the minivan with the darkened windows in the car park, had she had Sabine she wouldn’t have missed it but Sabine was still quiet and Annie didn’t have any heightened sense of awareness of her surroundings without her. She didn’t notice the van as she boarded the bus crammed with students, nor did she notice that it had followed her for the ten minute journey into town, or when she alighted from the bus and walked towards her house. She also missed the window sliding down, a camera lens poking out and taking a photo of her then driving up the street. She missed the same camera take a photo of her at her front door as she let herself in her house, the one thing the camera did miss however was Annie sinking onto her sofa in a pool of tears.
Annie woke up two hours later still in her coat. She stood sliding her coat off and looked at her tear stained face in the mirror. Grimacing at her awful reflection she felt around for her wolf, for any sign of life.
“Please come back to me Sabine.” she said out loud. There was nothing, just a deafening silence.
With no tears left, Annie sighed and went to the kitchen to make a pot of tea and after two hours of lesson planning, she had a hot shower and pulled on some comfortable pyjamas. Just before getting an early night and hopefully some sleep, Annie checked the calendar on her phone for any up and coming events for the next week. As she scrolled the usual university events and functions, something caught her eye, the coming Saturday was full moon. Annie’s heart started to quicken. The full moon was a powerful entity for Annie’s race, the moon had healing properties at certain wolf sites and the moon didn’t just pull the earthly tides in and out, it pulled at their wolves too which was probably where the myth that her kind had no choice but to shift at full moon came from. She knew there was a stone circle which had been built by ancient wolves near her childhood home, famed by her kind to have magical properties and was used to help young wolves make their painful first shift, but she was convinced there was one nearer. She was fairly sure she had read about one somewhere, outside a small town near to the village of Bleasdale. Annie pulled up a map on her phone and typed ‘Bleasdale Circle’ in the search bar. Yes, there it was, and she convinced it was wolf built as it was in an arrow head shaped wood. Arrow head woods were important to wolves as when the moon aligned with the point of the wood, the moon’s energy was said to flow down the arrow head into the stone or wood circle with- in. She began to feel a small spark of hope and let out a breath she didn’t realise she was holding, if she could just hold it together for four more days... Annie thoughts became resolute, she would absolutely get through the next four days as a visit to Bleasdale might not heal Sabine completely, but it would certainly help. Annie checked train times for Saturday night, she could get a train to the nearest city but that was a four hour hike. She checked the buses and found that if she got the bus to a small market town called Garstang, about a thirty minute bus ride, it was only a two hour hike to the circle. Her plans made, Annie went to bed feeling more hopeful than she had since this whole debacle began. Her sleep was no more peaceful than the night before as she dreamt of the stranger constantly. He was holding her body to his, running his hands through her hair, kissing her neck and crying out her name, Annie awoke in a pool of sweat, breathless, her chest heaving and her core burning. For Annie, Saturday couldn’t come soon enough, she felt weak without her wolf and she knew that this would be so much easier to deal with if she had her best friend with her, without Sabine, Annie was merely human.
The rest of the working week was divided between punishing workouts, swimming, her martial arts class and a crushing workload. Her students from all years had started their first assignments so there was the usual stream of students in and out of her office asking questions or requiring extra support. She pushed through the days trying to ignore the pull of the mate bond, hoping that each night she would sleep peacefully. It was easier to push down the lustful feelings she had for the man during the day when her mind was otherwise occupied, but each night he visited her in her dreams and she would jolt awake, fully aroused with a throbbing between her legs. By Friday Annie was an emotional sleep deprived mess, Sabine was still dormant and Annie felt more alone than ever.
Saturday was a long day for Annie. She awoke early and as the man had invaded her dreams once again, she decided to get up and make herself busy. After coffee, Annie cleaned her entire house, did all her laundry, went to the supermarket buying enough food so she wouldn’t have to shop for the rest of the week and swept and tidied her small garden. She stopped for something to eat about 16:30 and changed into her hiking gear. As a wolf, Annie didn’t feel the cold but the weather had turned from the early September Indian summer, to a grey and dismal autumn. With all the humans bundled up in hats and scarves, as part of not standing out, Annie would dress the same, it was all about blending in. At 17:30, as the night was starting to draw in, Annie went to catch her bus.