Chapter 13: 1970s:
To say that I was in a foul mode would be an understatement. I have ruined my apartment more time than I have fingers and toes put together, after I returned the part, I destroyed in my aguish. I bet pedestrians were racking their brain about what they just saw, probably doubting their sanity when they returned to show it to someone else and find the park unscathed. When I have tired myself out with destruction I went to bed. That was a mistake, sleep because instead of the dark drifting world of silence and numbness, memories slipped past my vulnerable sleep, invading the only peaceful solace I have. Memories flashed in my dreams, no coherent thought, no specific order, just a jumbled chaotic jumble of mess.
A terrible storm, running away, a loud ear-piercing scream, a beautiful afternoon, falling. I woke up wet, as if I were drowning, even the bed was soaked. Those memories, all too familiar but try as I met, I cannot remember what happened that fateful day, all I can recall was a giant mess of feelings and flashes of images that show up in my dreams at my worst moments. Then I wake up wet, I always wake up wet after this turbulent dream. Taking me to the very first memory I have on earth, cold, dark, and wet, struggling to swim to the surface for air.
Ever since the first time I realized memories were beginning to fade from my mind, I find that day by day, slowly but certainly events from my long life are fading, and like every annoying memory, it was not in any order or system, out of the blue, bit and pieces will just be missing. I run my hands through my hair before swinging my left hand from right to left, thus returning my bed to its clean dry glory. I walked to the bathroom, not caring to remove my nightgown I sat on the tub and turned the shower on setting the temperature as high as it can get. Once the tub was all filled up, I turned the shower off and hugged my knees close to my chest.
I stayed sitting there for hours urging the water to stay burning hot until the dawn cracked, its light peeking through the small window of the bathroom. Once the sunlight as bathed the bathroom I stood and prepared myself for the day. I dried my hair down and let the natural waves take life on their own as I slipped into a flowy short dress with orange flower pattern and bell sleeves. I slipped on some earrings and walked to the kitchen to prepare some tea for the morning. Last night’s meal is still felt evidently in my stomach, so I decided to skip the unneeded sustenance and simply waited for the tea to brew.
I grabbed my journal and despite my better judgement, I turned the radio on instead of turning on my vinyl record player and putting on classical music. I reclaimed my journal and sat on the couch with my back on the arm rest propping up my leg on the rest of the couch and began writing with my journal propped on my legs. Ever since Zander influenced me to write, it had been an essential part of my mornings, to jut down my memories as earnestly and as sincerely as I remember them, focusing on not the details but the feeling incorporated within those memories.
I had been writing all morning that I did not notice that most of the day had passed until a knock on the door tore me away from my writing stupor. I sighed and threw my journal on the coffee table before running to the door. Thinking of the limited possibility on who is knocking at my door. Recalling there was only one person here in New York I have showed my apartment to.
I opened the door to the vision of the very first time I am seeing Zander in a casual attire, white shirt buttoned down way to low giving a small peek at his chest with short tight sleeves clinging on his arms and navy trousers with a lone black belt. I stared at him for a good moment taking in how incredibly inexplicably and undeniably attractive he looked in his casual getup.
“Wow, you look, wow. I don’t think I have ever seen you in something so blasé before” Zander breathed taking me in just as much as I am to him.
“I could say the same for you” I said opening the door wider to let him in.
“I’d offer to take your coat but seeing as you’re not wearing any, what brings you here?” I asked fiddling with my hands, my mind racing with thoughts once more remembering my discovery last night hoping that it was not going to be brought up today. I felt nervous as I walked towards him, feeling a little more exposed as my legs and feet are bare under his scrutiny.
“Hey, you’re listening to the radio!” he was about to answer when he finally noticed the music playing in the background.
“You’re a bad influence”
“Admit it you love it” he jested.
“Well since we’re on the topic of music, I came by to ask if I could take you out and show you some of the local vinyl stores, and maybe get some dinner while we are at it?” Zander asked looking at me hopefully. I looked at him and crossed my arms, pouting as I think about his proposition.
“You mean like a date?”
“Well, it can be like a date, if you want to, otherwise it’s all good and well to just go out as music pals”
“Music pals?” I raised my eyebrow questioning his choice of words, but as he chuckled and scratched his unkept hair I shook my head.
“Alright, let’s go I needed some change of pace anyway” I accepted his proposal.
“Great,”
“Just hold on while I grab my purse and shoes”
“Okay, I’ll just be waiting here” I shut the door to my room behind me and collected a small purse and a pair of knee-high boots to cover as much of my legs as possible. I checked my reflection in the mirror once more to make sure there was not any light strands of hair showing. Finally ready I returned to the living room to find Zander sitting on the couch and reading my journal. I instinctively snatched the apparatus from him and hid it behind me.
“Did you write that?”
“It’s nothing just a small journal of jumbled…ideas, it’s pretty random with no ordinance, probably not good at all, don’t worry and just forget about it” I defended nervously backing away, before scrambling towards my bedroom and shoving it on my bedside table.
“Are you kidding me, it was beautiful the way it was written it felt like it was written by someone who was there, reading it felt like an experience, like I was feeling everything the character was feeling,” he walked to me slowly, with his hand pressed on his chest.
“It was wonderful Laura, I told you are a wonderful writer.” Zander said tenderly placing his hands on my cheeks before pressing an equally tender kiss on my forehead.
“So how about that date?” he cheered up.
“As friends” I reminded.
“As friends…for now” he said cheekily adding the last part, holding my hand and leading my out of the door.
He took me to his favorite music stores and recommended tons of artists of the century sharing his favorite songs from each artist, asking the shop attendant if they could give us the permission to a couple songs from the vinyl, and since they were familiar with Zander as he is a regular customer, they left him to his own devices. It was like Zander was my very own shop attendant at he promoted record after record. He also made sure to include the ones we listened to the radio yesterday. We passed by several shops, and insisted he pay for everything since I was courteous enough to offer dinner and wine the previous night.
By the time we were finished with the vinyl stores, it was dusk and, but the streets were far from dark from the city lights and the lights of the still awake and still thriving city. Dinner was fast as he took me to a bistro before dragging me away once more.
“Where are you taking me?” I asked him as he escorted me out of his car. I have never been to this part of the city, but the crowd was incredible, everybody looked bright, and it was not just because of what they are wearing.
“It’s a surprise, come on” he pulled me to a brightly lit building where a line was gathering up front. We did not wait in line as he walked straight to the man upfront and entered the premises.
“Are you sure it’s alright for us to cut in line?” I whispered as he navigated me to the dark corridors of this place.
“Stop worrying” he said and placed me in front of him with his hands on my waist gently guiding me forward.
“Laura, I welcome to the disco” Zander guide me to a room world apart from the hallway that lead hear. There was bright colored lights everywhere, the music was playing so loud, you can barely hear the sound of laughter and chatter over it and everybody was dancing, even the people not on the dance floor were moving to the rhythm of the music.
“I said I’ll take you dancing so here we are” Zander said holding my hand and we combed the throng of people having a good time drinking and dancing and laughing.
“Wait, I don’t know the steps to this dance” I said as he positioned us in the middle of the dance floor right below the turning ball of mirrors.
“Laura, relax, there are no steps, no rules its just the music and us” Zander encouraged, as he moved in coherent sways of his hips and wild swing of his arms. I began to follow his example and copied his boisterous movements to the tee.
“Laura, close your eyes” he positioned himself behind me, and placed his hands to cover my eyes.
“Now listen to the music and let it take you” dumbfounded without any visual reference to follow, I took his advice and began bopping my head to the beat of the music.
“That’s it go on” Zander encouraged still with his hands on my eyes, energized by his own energy and the music and the energy of the people around me, I began to sway my hips to the rhythm of the music and raised my hands, letting it as Zander so aptly put flow with the music.
“There we go” Zander cheered finally removing his hand from my eyes and dancing with me, in his own steps. It was wild and rowdy with not order, everybody danced to the same music in different moves, in different interpretation. It was not pretty, though I doubt they were thinking about pretty, but it felt good, I felt a thousand miles off the ground light.
It felt like freedom.