The street lights guided my path as I made my way to my house. Everywhere was deathly quiet, and I would have enjoyed it if the silence didn't let my mind wander.
The henshaws had dropped me off, and we're so kind to wait until security let me into the estate before they drove off.
I was certain it was only because I was the resident pastor's daughter; the princess of the church like Tom said, they wanted to be in good terms with the resident pastor.
Now I was nearing my house with a frown etched on my face because really loud music was blaring from Keith's car slicing the silence that had once engulfed me. The same car he had drove off in after stealing money from the church.
My steps slowed, but the music only got louder. Until I was in front of my house. Keith's car was parked in front of his, lights blaring, doors open. And there he was sitting on the steps of his porch, burying his tongue in a girl's mouth.
He wasn't wearing a shirt, and I caught a peek of the solid abs lining his abdomen before the girl used her body to cover them. She was touching him everywhere. Shoulders, biceps, when her hands started to move to front of his jeans, my eyes widened.
I blinked at my idiocy. What was I watching ?
Right now his hand was going underneath her top as they kissed, and I held my breath.
Eva don't be so stupid. Move !
He pulled away for a second, and his eyes flicked in my direction. They held mine as his hand proceeded to grab her ...
I looked away, and walked up to my porch.
I opened my bag, and fished out the keys to the house. My hands shook as I focused on getting the key into the key hole.
"Is that your neighbor ?", I heard the girl ask.
I couldn't hear his reply.
" Why is she dressed like that ?", She asked and this time I heard his reply.
"Like what ?".
Stupid key
Stupid hands
Stupid door !
Enter where you were designed to enter key !
Turns out it was the wrong key. I grabbed the next in the huge bunch, what were all these keys even for ?
"Like a grandma ", she answered him, and a laugh bubbled from her.
I grabbed the third key, ignoring her words. It wasn't also a fit.
I grabbed another.
"Really ?", He asked, sounding like he wasn't interested in a word she was saying. When in reality I was certain, he loved each word that left her mouth.
"She's also very ugly. Like ..", another laugh, " Why does she look like that ?".
He had the nerve to join in her laughter. His sounding forced, but I knew he was enjoying this.
Before I could stop myself, I turned to both of them. She was straddling him, and I scrunched my face in disgust when I realized her breasts were in full display now. Her top discarded on the floor.
"You're the only ugly one here", I burst out. "... and the funny thing is you're still ugly even with all of that stupid make up on your face. How can you be planning on having sex with a guy who has sex with anything that has a vagina, looking shameless with your breasts out in the open like that. You're a slut. You need Jesus, both of you ! ", My eyes cut sharply to him.
He looked amused, a small stupid smile playing on his lips.
"Bitch who the fuck are you talking to like that ?", The girl's stupid voice reached my ears.
"And you", I continued, " You might be gorgeous on the outside, but inside, you're hideous. You two deserve each other. A slut, with an even bigger slut who is also a thief. Ride on ! ", I finished, and turned back to the door not without noticing the dark look he sent me.
This time the key I used opened the door, and I pushed it open entering my house.
"Ndị nzuzu ( stupid people )", I mumbled loud enough for them to hear even though they couldn't understand what I said.
I shut my door, and locked it. Feeling proud of myself, I walked to the staircase, to go to my room, and pray to God to forgive me.
***
At the end of my prayer, I was in a much better state of mind than I had been earlier. Those words Keith had said to me had messed with me so badly not just because he had said them, but because he was right. That was the main reason I was excited for university.
And realising someone had finally noticed my unhappiness wasn't something I was ready for.
But he could have said those words in a better way, a nicer way.
Regardless, I was indeed miserable. I didn't know who I was outside the church because my life had always revolved around the church.
I loved God, and I would continue to serve him. I loved when people served him, I loved helping out in the church, I loved the church. What I didn't like was how I had no life outside of it.
I wanted to do crazy things that people my age talked about. Thinking I would age with no stories to tell my grand children was horrible. My grandmother always had the funniest stories to tell me, and watching her eyes light up whenever she said them made me sad because I was currently eighteen and all I had to tell anyone was :-
I go to church, I love the church, my parents are the resident pastors of the church. We live in an estate provided by the church, I'm part of the choir in the church, I clean the church after service ...
Jesus, my life sucks. There was no excitement, no nothing.
This wouldn't be how God wanted me to live. He said there was time for everything. Getting consumed in one thing wasn't right. Even my parents had hidden the fact that my father wasn't a virgin when he married my mother.
Who knows the things they did before they wrapped their lives around the church ?
I couldn't continue like this.
I wouldn't continue like this.