"What do you need? Who are you two?" asked the father in a low voice.
"I need Mas Afri, I need to meet," I replied.
"He's in town. What do you need?" asked the father again.
"Can I meet Mas Afri's parents?" I asked again.
"We are the parents," explained the mother who was holding the well-built man and then ordered the mother who swept the yard to leave the four of us. His gaze was full of inquiry at me and also Pakde Pur.
Astagfirullah, if they were Mas Afri's parents, who were they then brought to the house? This means that Mas Afri deceived me, at that time it was not his parents who brought him.
"Sorry, but the one who proposed to me is not the father and mother," I said.
"Propose? Propose to whom?" asked the father confused.
"Mas Afri proposed to me. We plan to get married today. But Mas Afri didn't come," I explained.
"Maybe it's Afri that you don't mean our son. He just started working in Jakarta. It's impossible to get married now. The condition is that you can't get married first."
"But I have proof of photocopies of Mas Afri's KTP and KK, sir," I said.
"Ma'am, if it's just a photocopy like that. I can also get a photocopy of your KTP. Indeed, there are many women who like my child. It's normal, he is handsome, well-established, but don't let your method be this low, you want to be tricked into getting my child," said the man -that man.
"I'm not cheating, sir. For God's sake, I want to marry Mas Afri, Afri Setiaji," I said firmly.
"A moment." The father stopped me from speaking again and then reached into his pocket for something.
Then in his hand was a cell phone which he then showed me the screen.
"Is this Afri you mean?" the father asked me.
"That's right, sir, that's a photo of Mas Afri. We were dating for a while. Then Mas Afri brought his parents to propose to me. We want to get married," I said full of emotion but not in a high tone. Only my tears could not be contained. I am indeed fragile.
"If Afri invites his parents, both of us will definitely be invited. You are making this up. After all, I can't just accept my mother-in-law. The seeds, seedlings and weights must be clear. Where is your father serving and what is his position? What business do you have? Land? how many hectares are you? Ha?" His father's voice was getting higher and more insulting.
My heart feels like it's been stabbed.
"I'm not really a child of rank, not the owner of acres of land, nor the son of a businessman. But we have pride. I'm only here to ask for clarification, if it's clear that your son is a loser, I don't need to bother fighting. not always at the top, sir," I said with a trembling mouth.
My head is boiling. What I'm thinking right now, how is the situation of my mother, father, and neighbors who must be discordant about this. The failure of my marriage to Mas Afri.
Oh Allah....
"How dare you insult my son? Go!" snapped the father. The woman who was holding him smiled cynically and mockedly.
"That's it, Lan. We're leaving this devil's house," Pakde Pur whispered to me softly.
"Tapi--"
"We go home, it's useless, Lan. They are only deceiving us. They have no heart and mind, Lan," interrupted Pakde Pur.
"Go! We have something more important to do than serving bums who want to live comfortably without effort like you. Lazy people!" the father cursed.
"Ma'am, you are not that ugly. Try to find another man. Don't expect our child. Our status is very different from yours. If you want to live a good life, work. Don't trap rich people's children," said the mother.
I stared into the mother's eyes, causing her to turn her gaze to the others, and step back a little behind her husband from his original standing position.
"Come on, Wulan, come on, let's just go home. It's getting hotter here. They can't be controlled just by saying that. It doesn't guarantee that people have a good attitude," said Mr. Pur and then took my hand.
***
I don't know if it's wrong or not if there is a burning grudge in my heart towards Mas Afri's family. I can't shake off my hatred and trust in men soaring.
I'm fragile, it's hard for me to get up and I always choose to lock myself in my room instead of meeting people outside the house. I'm so shy. A failed marriage, even my dream has been destroyed. Moreover, what can I do?
Seeing my mother's condition is no less down than me. Mother did not dare to leave the house and cried all day. What's worse, part of yesterday's wedding preparations was the result of a loan from Wak Tarub, a coffee collector for the farmers.
Day by day, I'm getting stronger to face this situation.
I took a deep breath, encouraging heart and soul. I have to get up. Not always the storm will rain on me. I don't want to be bad all the time.
This morning I went to the musholla for congregational prayers. I don't care anymore about the scorn of many people towards me.
There is a cult after dawn prayers.
The musholla has wooden walls, as well as the neatly arranged wooden tiles. My soul feels at peace here. Cool and cold at dawn this time there is a heart that starts to warm, I'm getting closer to God for this heavy test.
"In facing the test of Allah SWT, people should face it with a patient soul. As Allah SWT said, 'And we will certainly test you with a little fear, hunger, lack of wealth, souls and fruits, and convey good news to those who sabar' in the Qur'an surah Al-Baqarah verse 155)," said the teacher who gave cultum.
Pilgrims who joined the morning prayer sat in rows listening respectfully.
"If only our minds were formed. O Allah, why, really, my test is so heavy? So ask to be stronger to bear the burden of your problems on Allah. There is no story that Allah gives tests and trials beyond our strength. Disasters and tests are God's way of loving his servant."
Sentence after sentence from the ustaz calmed my heart.
I so there is a desire to start asking mother out. It's time for us to rise. While it was still early, I wanted to take him for a walk to the village gate, to buy his favorite rice cake with wild duck meat.
****
Father chose to stay at home with Tari because he was preparing for school. I deliberately invited my mother to walk alone with me, so that my mother could also feel the same enthusiasm. You agree, you look excited to give positive energy to you.
"Well, yes. Go there, with Wulan. Everything has passed. Now is the time for us to fight, Mom. Wulan's match is not yet, Mom," my father said to my mother, then my mother looked at me. She smiled and took her headscarf, mother agreed to take me out with her.
○
"Where are you going?" whispered mother while walking with me, down the village road that is still not paved.
I hold his hand tightly, smiling looking at the road ahead.
"Mom, it's impossible for us to be down forever. The bad things will surely pass soon. We're going for a walk. There are lots of beautiful things out there."
"But mother is embarrassed, Lan. Mother also thinks that you are insulted by other people." Mother's voice sounded soft and impressed depressed.
Oh God, this is how my mother is.
"Why are you embarrassed? We don't disturb people's lives, Mom. The sun is alone, it still shines. Many people still need it. If it's my destiny to still be alone, maybe God will still choose a good partner for me, Mom."
"But what about our debt to Wak Tarub?"
"If you owe it, you have to pay it. Later I will work even harder, Mom, to pay off our debt. I'm sorry Wulan, Mom, I'll make it difficult for you and you."
"No... mom just thought about it. Everyone ridiculed us, especially you. I don't know what they would say anymore if they found out we were in debt because of this marriage that didn't happen."
"Okay, let's just relax. Everyone knows, it's not our fault, ma'am. Nobody wants to be in our position either."
The streets were still quiet, only a few farmers started to go to their fields carrying hoes by riding old-fashioned bicycles.
The air feels fresh. The sun was still thinly spreading its rays between the big trees along the way.
"Miss Enik!" Someone called my mother's name.
We stopped and turned around.
It turned out that there were several women walking to download coffee right behind us.
"Alhamdulillah, I dared to go out of the house, I'm done with being secluded, mother and child," said one of them while giggling, but to me it even seemed to mock my mother and me. Maybe I'm just too sensitive.
"Yes," said the mother.
"It's okay. Later, Wulan will get a balanced match. Bye, you don't have to look for someone who is rich, as long as you want to be with Wulan, Mrs. Nik. The problem is if you've failed like this, it's difficult to find a match," said one of them again.
"Well, yes. It's only natural, wong is the son of a rich man. Yes, he should just leave Wulan. Now, logically, it has to be balanced. Dianya sultan, when she was holding a basket of sticky rice. Yes, right?" another said.
"We've gone first," I said while grabbing mother's hand, but they took a brisk walk beside us.
"Lan, weren't you invited to his house before? How come you really believe in other people. Sometimes we need to be a little smart in dealing with people, Lan."
Actually this is advice, but it doesn't feel right to say at this time in a mother who is so insecure, down and feels broken because of the failure of my marriage.
"Yes, it's possible that Afri already has a wife now. What's more, he went to town. Right? Does that mean you're a perpetrator, Lan?" joked another mother.
I glanced at the mother next to me began to look down.
"Sorry, we want to buy breakfast first," I concluded and walked faster with my mother.
"Well, walking along the road is even suffocating. Don't be embarrassed, everyone knows you too, Lan. If you keep on failing."
Another giggle sounded.
Oh Allah....
"Well, you don't have to listen to it, Mom," I said to my mother.
Mother was silent and kept walking with me.
I just want to invite mom so she doesn't get bored and just stay in the room.
We arrived at the stall selling rice cakes.
"Mom, buy four, use the mussels one by one. Just wrap them up, nope, ma'am," I ordered the seller and then sat on the chair next to my mother.
"You, Miss."
I hold mother's hand.
"Oh, Miss Wulan. Buy breakfast too?" Who is the mother who happens to be my neighbor.
"Ugh," I said briefly. I'm worried that the mother spoke nonsense.
"Wulan? Did Wulan, who was said to be married, not happen yesterday at Sumur Arum village?" said the vegetable rice cake seller.
I was silent but my neighbor answered.
"No. Opo anyway. Hurry up and sell it," said my neighbor.
But the seller's mother chimed in again.
"It's crowded. Yesterday, my niece's husband, who wanted to marry, came late. Eh, it turned out that she was waiting for months because her husband didn't come. I heard that her husband-to-be is a rich man's son, right? Yes, I'm not self-conscious, really. Yes. Ordinary people want to be with rich people. Wow, it looks like his family really needs money. Don't get into debt again for the party yesterday. Oh, come on, Friday," said the saleswoman and chuckled.
"Hurry up, Mom," I said.
"Yes, these. Forty thousand in all." The mother held out a plastic bag to me.
I gave him fifty thousand denominations from my savings while I was working on a coffee plantation. Then the mother gave me ten thousand change. I thought he would be silent but it turned out that he was making false accusations.
"You can have the same name, but don't confuse the idiot with Wulan, okay, Nduk. If the spell fades, it's confusing, the target will appear."
I felt my chest rumbling, want to swear want to berate back. I snatched the change roughly from his hand.
"Eh, ma'am. If you don't understand what's going on. You don't need to comment that isn't okay. Your mouth can be poison for other people. Remember, madam. Slander is a sin that cannot be broken. The slander that you say will continue to flow his sins on everyone that mother told!" I snapped full of emotion.
"Let's go home Lan." Mother's voice was frightened and her crying broke out.
Even though I wanted to take mom out for a walk so mom could be happy but in fact it was even more vicious outside.
We walked at a fast pace. Arriving at home Mother did not want to have breakfast and chose to go into her room.
I followed him, but father prevented me from letting mother calm down first.
"Your mother has always been like that. Her heart is too sensitive. It's easy to think. Let's calm down first, I'll let you talk later," my father said and then told me to prepare breakfast because my sister had a school exam and father had to go to the garden.
Several days have passed, mother is increasingly closed and does not want to talk. The plan is that when we have enough money, we will take our mother for treatment to the city. We are worried about the mother's psyche.
I work even harder so I can earn more money.
It's still early, I'm getting ready to go to work, but not to the garden. Instead, go to the village head's house first to help clean the house. Sometimes I also accompany my father to harvest cassava. Besides being sold, we also consume it ourselves as a substitute for rice to make it more efficient.
I walked along the village road which was still quiet because it was still early.
Dukkk
My head nudged a mango hanging down the road. Because it looks lonely, terbesit to take it quietly.
Pluppp
I pulled the ripe mango off the stalk.
I wipe the skin of the mango on my shirt to make it clean. Then I took a bite and it was crunchy sweet and delicious. Weird, but usually sour.
Arriving at the house of Mrs. Kades, I immediately went to work. Because after that I will work on the plantation.
After cleaning his house, he continued ironing the clothes belonging to the village leader's family.
"Nduk, mother has a lot of cooking. You can bring it later," said the village head as she sat closer to me.
"Don't bother, ma'am," I replied while continuing to rub my shirt to make it neat and smooth.
"No. I'm really cooking a lot, Nduk. Mr. Dul was just slaughtering chicken."
"Yes, ma'am. Thank you."
"Excuse me! Asalamualaikum!" shouted greetings from outside.
"Like dad," I muttered.
I unplugged the iron and ran out with Mrs. Kades.
That's right, the father is coming. His breath was shallow, his face full of sweat. Her gaze was confused and panicked.
"What's the matter, sir?" I asked.
"Your mother, Nduk."
Deg!
"What's wrong? Why, sir?" I asked.
"I'm sorry, Mrs. Kades. I can take Wulan home," the father asked Mrs. Kades.
"Eee ... yes, sir. What's wrong? Why are you panicking?" said the village head.
"Yes," said Father then took my hand and walked quickly until I didn't have time to wear sandals.
"Excuse me, ma'am," I said goodbye to the village head.
"Yeah, yeah...," answered Mrs. Kades while looking at me who had walked away.
"What's the matter, sir?" I asked father.
"Your mother was at home. After you left, I thought about it and went home. At home, it turned out that there were several neighbors accompanying your mother."
Father's step half ran until it made me tired.
"Neighbor? What are you doing?" I asked.
"Give your mother a job. Woven bamboo for tempeh. So you don't get bored."
"Then what are you waiting for?" I asked.
"Yes, left. Father's work is not finished. I think Mother has someone to accompany her."
I'm feeling worse.
"Oh God. Why now mother?"
You keep speeding up your pace.
Continued