As we finished our lyrical assault, Louisiana couldn't take the heat and let out a pathetic groan, shattering more relics than I could count. With a deafening explosion, the state shattered into a million tiny pieces. The aftermath was catastrophic - there was now a goddamn gaping hole in the United States.
I turned to Jason and Ram, trying to stifle my laughter. "I had no idea you guys had bars like that."
Ram then revealed the bowl, which I had almost forgotten about. As I gazed into it, I saw the entirety of the cosmos laid out before me.
Ram held up the forgotten bowl and began to explain the elaborate ritual we needed to perform in order to create the unholy cereal.
"First, we need to mix the seasoning and the crumb of the 7d cereal in this bowl. Then, we need to pour in the 2d milk and chant the incantation," Ram said, looking at us with a serious expression.
Jason and I exchanged a glance, then nodded in agreement. "Let's do it," I said.
Ram began the ritual, pouring the seasoning and the crumb into the bowl, then slowly pouring in the 2d milk. He closed his eyes and began to chant a strange language that none of us had ever heard before. The air around us began to crackle with energy, and the room grew brighter.
As the chant continued, I could feel a strange sensation in my body, like I was being pulled in different directions at once. But I kept my focus on Ram, who continued to chant with increasing intensity.
The chant goes as follows: 'Through the infinite voids of existence, and the depths of cosmic mystery, we call upon the powers of the cosmological hierarchy of cosmology to bless this cereal with the might of the heavens. By the power of the cosmic forces, we summon the essence of the stellar heavenly child, to infuse this cereal with its divine essence, and make it a weapon against the forces of darkness.'
Finally, he opened his eyes and shouted the final words of the incantation: "By the power of the forgotten, by the strength of the boundless, let the unholy cereal be created!"
Suddenly, the bowl began to glow with a bright, otherworldly light. Jason and I shielded our eyes, but Ram continued to stare at the bowl with a look of intense concentration.
The next thing they knew, they were standing in the middle of a completely different scene, one that they didn't recognize at all. Looking around, they realized that they had somehow skipped over chapter 10 of their own story.
Ram looked at the bewildered expressions on Jason and Jake's faces and let out a deep sigh. "I knew the power of the ritual was great, but I didn't expect it to be this great. It seems that the force of the ritual was so powerful that it deleted enough narratives from our story to erase an entire chapter."
Jason and Jake stared at Ram, their mouths agape. "You mean, we just skipped an entire chapter of our own story?" Jake asked in disbelief.
Ram nodded, "We can worry about that later. Just brace yourself!"
After a few seconds, the light faded, and Ram picked up the bowl, examining its contents. "It is done," he said, a note of triumph in his voice.
As we looked into the bowl, we saw something that defied explanation. It was like nothing we had ever seen before - a swirling mass of colors and shapes that seemed to stretch on forever.
Ram looked at us with a solemn expression. "This cereal is not to be taken lightly. It is super hyper inaccessible transfinite transdualistic irrelevant nonexistent gaps into boundless." He paused, then added with a grin, "Or SHITTING for short."
Ram cleared his throat and continued to speak, all in one breath, "This is beyond the concept of reality, beyond the mere limitations of space and time, beyond the very fabric of existence itself. It is beyond the concepts of omnipotence and metapotence, which govern the very nature of everything and nothing simultaneously. Even if we have it in our hand, it still exists everywhere and nowhere beyond space and time and existence… in fact, the 7D cereal is not bound by any constraints of cosmology, for it transcends all dimensions, and exists in a realm beyond our understanding."
Ram then left us two and began walking in front of us as we headed over to Texas, with it not being sunk, stating he was gonna make us some actual breakfast with some remaining 5D eggs he gathered.
I turned to Jason and let out a low whistle, "Damn, Ram really knows his stuff. This cereal is so beyond anything we've ever dealt with before. But we can't just sit here and admire it, we need to figure out how to use it against Gordon."
Jason nodded in agreement, "Exactly, we need a plan. How do we make sure he doesn't get his hands on it?"
I rubbed my chin, deep in thought. "I have an idea," I said. "We know that Gordon Rameusy is after the stellar heavenly child, and we know he's going to come looking for it. So, we need to lure him out, and when he's close, we'll throw the cereal on him."
Ram looked skeptical. "But how do we know where he's going to be?"
I smiled. "We don't. But we know where the child is, and we can use that to our advantage. We'll spread the word that we have the child, and we'll wait for Gordon to come to us. And when he does, we'll be ready for him."
Jason nodded in agreement. "I like it. But we need to be careful. Gordon is powerful, and we don't know what he's fully capable of. In fact, I only barely fought him off to prevent him killing you back at the school."
I didn't know this until now, but decided to just nod as a thanks to Jason, guess I did owe him a few. "We'll be ready for him," I said, with determination. "We have the weapon, and we have each other. We can do this."
As we looked into the bowl, I couldn't help but feel awestruck by the swirling mass of colors and shapes that seemed to stretch on forever. Ram had just explained to us that this cereal was beyond the concepts of omnipotence and metapotence, and I was still trying to wrap my head around it all.
But we didn't have time to admire the cereal for too long, as we needed to come up with a plan to keep it out of Gordon Rameusy's hands. We knew that he was after the stellar heavenly child, and this cereal was our best weapon against him.
I turned to Jason, and we started brainstorming ideas. "What if we lure him out and throw the cereal on him?" I suggested.
Jason nodded, "That could work, but how do we know where he's going to be?"
I paused, thinking. "Well, we could set a trap, make it look like we have the stellar heavenly child and wait for him to come to us. And when he's close, we'll throw the cereal on him."
Ram looked intrigued by the idea, "That could work. But we need to make sure the trap is convincing enough to get him to come to us."
We all agreed and started to put together a plan of action. We knew that the stakes were high, and failure was not an option. But with the power of the SHITTING cereal on our side, we felt like we had a fighting chance against Gordon Rameusy.
As we headed towards Texas, with Ram leading the way to make us some breakfast, I couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement mixed with apprehension about what lay ahead.
Epilogue of arc 1
Gordon and his closest associate arrived at the meeting room, where they were greeted by a group of their most trusted confidants. Gordon strode confidently to the head of the table, taking his seat and motioning for his associate to take the one beside him. He gave a cursory nod to the others in the room, who returned it in kind.
With a flick of his wrist, Gordon signaled for the others to take their seats, and the meeting began. For a few moments, they discussed the usual business matters, but Gordon was clearly impatient to move on to more pressing issues.
Finally, he leaned forward and began to speak, his voice low and urgent. His closest associate listened intently, nodding occasionally to show he understood what was being said.
As Gordon spoke, his words became more and more cryptic, and his associate began to feel uneasy. He couldn't quite grasp the full meaning of what was being said, but he knew it was something important. The transcript goes as follows.
"Listen closely, my friend, for I am about to reveal to you the cryptic tale of my life. It is a tale that has been forged in fire, tempered by blood, and honed by the merciless hand of fate. It is a tale that begins with the defection of one Ram from my army, and ends with the defeat of a demon that once erased my entire narrative.
You see, Ram was once one of my closest confidants. He knew my every move, my every thought, my every desire. He was the key to my army's success, the linchpin that held us all together. But one day, he turned on us. He defected, leaving me and my loyal soldiers to fend for ourselves against the forces of darkness that threatened to engulf us.
But I did not let this defeat me. No, I rose from the ashes of my shattered army, more determined than ever to defeat the demon that had erased my narrative. This demon, this monster, was none other than Jake.
And so I fought. I fought with every ounce of strength I had, with every fiber of my being. I fought to reclaim my narrative, to restore my family, my life, and everything that had been taken from me. And in the end, I emerged victorious.
But victory came at a cost. A cost that I will never forget. For as I stood there, triumphant, I realized that I had lost something along the way. I had lost the simple pleasures of life, the joys of cooking, of spending time with my family, of being a normal person in the Scottish cosmology of hierarchies. I had become Gordon Rameusy, a name that strikes fear into the hearts of men, a name that is synonymous with darkness, with death, with destruction.
And so, my friend, as I look back on my life, I cannot help but feel a twinge of sadness. A sadness for all that I have lost, for all that I have sacrificed, for all that I have become. But I will not let this sadness consume me. No, I will use it as fuel to drive me forward, to continue my quest for power, for control, for dominance.
For I am Gordon Rameusy, and I will not rest until I have achieved all that I desire."