I look up, confusion written on my face.
'how the hell is it raining?' I walk slowly.
I pass by an animated figure of me in the past, moving to a memory that I remember.
practicing with Auntie, getting scolded by my father.
all of them were here
I was confused because what I remembered was that I was laying in my bed sleeping.
the water that I walk on echoes by my step, like some kind of switch–it brings colors to a memory nearby and it moves to what I remember
even if the memory wasn't happy at all.
I found it amusing that every step I made lit up a memory that wasn't supposed to be happy, I let out snickers
I continue to walk, observing the 'memories'
the water reflecting my body wearing my white sleepwear that was given–or found in the closet
the more I walk, the more 'dark' the memory becomes.
increasingly make the atmosphere uncomfortable and oddly enough weird, with the steps I made the memories move disturbingly–as it lit up the memories that were connected to violence.
I feel uneasiness creep before me–yet by some unknown force–I didn't show any emotion on my face
like I already get used to it.
then, I stop.
my body tense up and still.
there sat was me, wearing a white t-shirt with a dark blue coat hanging over my head
leaning against the alleyway I saw when I finish 'training' with kaeru
I stare, shocked. I never remember or recall any memories of this
I continue to gaze over my 'younger' self.
I look 15 or 14 this time around. I look so
lifeless, empty like I'm missing something.
I started to recall my past behavior, I have been like this. yet music sparks something in me making me at least human
yet in here I look so. not human
that gets me thinking, what makes me interested in music?
"yamikumo..." I flinch, at that voice.
I look at my aunt.. or itoshi her name, a black umbrella covered her head as–what looks like–she looks down on me.
I can hear the emptiness in her voice as if she lost someone precious
"No... Yuuko" she continues
The memory of me, I guess, tilts my head ever so slightly.
"your name is Yuuko ito...go to sleep and forget"
'go to sleep and forget?' I can see the memory started to crack, and I instantly run to it.
to my surprise, the memory of itoshi turned her head to me with a pained smile
they started to part away, and one by one become pieces, pieces that slowly disappear.
and in me, the memories of this disappear
I grit my teeth in frustration, I concentrate on trying to remember, imprinting, scarred this memory in my head
'Yes scarred!' I bang my head hard on the alley wall.
I can feel my blood gushing and dripping on my face
the memory of aunt staring in shock, and the pieces that fade away slowly put back together
I can feel a tug on my lips and pull a smile
I slide by the alleyway, in the middle of 'me' and itoshiIi let out a big sigh and looks up, the smile already disappear
'This is... not what I expected when I saw this alleyway'
why was I in the alley? why did she call me Yamikuno? why did she ask me to sleep and forget?
why?–but the answer never came.
I close my eye, yet a light shines.
I sat up from my bed, hands on my head
'The bandage on my head is already removed yesterday..' I remember, putting my hands down.
there was blood in my sleepwear
'ah....it's gonna leave a scar'
***
luckily my music class isn't in the first period, it's the last
yet it's almost the last period
I get lost in the way, and students that didn't recognize me whisper to each other
'way to start Sunday..' I jokingly think I didn't even bother to ask a student where is the music class
I rather get lost than ask people who are younger than me the way
I enter a classroom with 'music' written on a small board at the top
luckily no one in here and the music class looks the same as the one me snd itoshi used to practice
I sat down at a table–supposedly a teacher's table–and put down my guitar
there were many instruments, piano, violent, trumpet, all you could think off
that makes me wonder 'why did Suzuki-san ask me to bring a pick if there wasn't any bass ill carry? same with a drum stick, it a drag to bring a whole drum set....yet why would he ask me to bring it?!' my question loop
I stop my idiotic thinking and stare at the wall.
'I should try playing the piano... it's been a long time since I play it' and an idea came.
I stand up and walk to the piano
pressing each one to test, doing simple songs for warm-up.
I started to play a hard piece and felt a little confident in myself
I play 'balakirev - islamey' missing a couple of keys at some point, yet I manage to fix it with the next press.
my eyes feel like its burning from staring at the keys for too long, but I continue to play
I concretate. hearing the note I hit very carefully and already knowing the next one
the pieces of the key were put back together creating a tone that was pleasant to my ears and calming to my mind.
yet I didn't see any tune, I didn't see the lights that guide me on the stage.
I feel frustrated and angry.
the emotion builds in my head and I release it by playing the piece
I didn't even realize it, but it's already the last period.
that means the bell rang
which means students already enter.
I finally press the last note letting out a big sigh
I lean–into nothing.
I fell on my back letting out a quiet groan
"shit!..." I mumble quietly
I push myself to sit up, scratching my head
the clothes didn't make it better, it was a uniform each teacher have to wear and oh my god it's so itchy
the long button-up white shirt is so loose, and every time it brush my skin it tickles.
the black pant is the same, it's so thin and itchy!
and to sum it up–teachers need to tie their hair if they have long hair
I don't mind it really, but it just feels weird to me.
my usual hair that when I move, brush my cheeks and shoulder. now every time I move I didn't even feel anything brushing
it feels wrong!
"See? I told you he is cool!" I shudder to hear Itoshi's voice, I guess the student is already here
another voice spoke answering itoshi remarks "Well...some note feels wrong...I think he made a mistake"
"but still! he is cool, right? That proves my point that he is gonna bring our band to the top!!" itoshi answered energetically
I turn around and sat at my table. I clear my throat awkwardly trying to get their attention.
and it work, they all started to look at me
"Um...hello everyone my name is Akira Fujita but please call me Mr. Fujita"
"and why does it sound wrong is it because I made a mistake, well a couple. it's been a long time since I play the piano"
'because senior Kaede and senior Kaito have been pushing me to practice more because I receive my first mission... it's been only one day for god sake!'
"enough of that, does everyone in here can play any instrument" To my surprise much play, and there was a couple of students who raise their hand and say 'me' including itoshi
"Well, what kind of instrument do you all play?"
"I PLAY THE BASS BUT IM TRYING TO PLAY THE GUITAR!!" itoshi shouted, I flinch at the sudden noise
"oi! Quite down will ya? anyway I can play the drum" black hair boy say after nudging itoshi shoulder
"I can play the electric guitar"
"oh I can play the pianika!" a girl with red long hair says, taking my attention
'hmm....pianika? never heard of it..'
"well um–" "Haru" "–"haru-chan, can you please tell me what a pianika is? or do you buy the instrument?"
"yes sir!" haru slip out a blue mini piano with a white tube at the end
she sat on the ground legs crossed and put the tube in her mouth
she breath in and breath out then blow the tube while at the same time pressing the keys to play a song
I observe with curiosity, this instrument is quite fascinating and amusing too on my part
it's funny seeing someone blowing and pressing at the same time
"welp, thank you for the demonstrate you can stop now" Haru then stopped, standing up and bowing.
she goes back to her friends
"I can play angklung!"
"I can play this weird instrument!"
"I can play–"
'wow.... so many instruments I never heard or seen...' I sat dumbfounded
'And why does this class have many music kids? In my school, it was only me!!'