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Multi-Isekai Handyman and Assassin: At your otherworldly service

🇺🇸Wig_Turt
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Synopsis
A twist on the Isekai genre with humor and murder, and world-destruction
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Chapter 1 - Introduction

You probably know how this goes; I was a pretty much an average guy, with few close friends keeping in touch and whose favorite pastime was to go home after a tough shift, crack a cold one, and fall asleep on the sofa with the TV still on. See I did this every week, on and on, until One fateful Monday morning, I just didn't wake up.

The obnoxious morning soap with lots of dramatic music was doomed to keep playing until my decomposing body was found by the elderly landlord a few days later. But friends, this is no gloomy tale, as I was granted access to every person's dream: starting anew on a Isekai.

When I had opened my eyes, I found my self on an abyss of sorts; an empty plane that seemed to go on forever. A tiny building of sorts stood out like a large thumb, with glimmering lights. Upon close inspection, it turned out it was a bar, with faint neon-lights well past their prime adorning the walls. The wooden doors croaked open as I pushed through. The interior was homely, and behind the bar table was simply put: a goddess.

She was no otherworldly beauty, for sure. To be honest I was expecting some blonde with white veils fluttering all around with a halo or sumthing. Nuh uh. This lady was a readhead, with freckles like someone sprinkled 'em too long and a figure not much bigger than the bar table itself. But something about her, her soft eyes and etched expression screamed that she was a much, much bigger being than what met the eye.

She almost automatically quipped out in a little sing-song voice:"Welcome to the Next Abode, to which world do you yearn?" Now I wasn't no idiot, and had figured it out at this point. I was going to an Isekai! I could almost see my own great fantasy Isekai with blackjack and hookers. Earning my way to become a hero! Lots of beer and learning blackjack!

Filled with ecstasy, I eagerly looked at the menu hanging from the ceiling, looking for….nothing. Nothing was written on the board? I checked again, furtively looking around for a sign or a doorway that said "new world here" or something.

The goddess was staring at me quizzically. "Do you have no world that you yearn?" She asked politely. "No, it's that… I don't see anything. Is that normal?"

More quizzical looks thrown over the counter.

Shit.

Maybe there was no Isekai for me after all…