I hate feeling so vulnerable right now, but I had to tell Brian the truth. Something just doesn't feel right with us whenever he's around Dass. When I first met her, everything was fine. It wasn't until Saoirse and her broke up that I started getting weird vibes. Something with how she looked at me, like she was hiding something. Still, my brother is right, Brian has done nothing that would warrant me not trusting him.
If I keep acting like I can not trust him, I will only sabotage myself by pushing him away.
God, this sucks. I don't mean to act like I don't trust him, I do. It's others I don't trust. It doesn't matter what I say though, my actions speak louder than my words. So I'm letting him go to the club without me, even though the minute he leaves, I want to call him back to me.
"You're stronger than this Sarina, you can do this." I mutter to myself, "Even if things don't work out, I will survive."
But damn it's going to hurt.
"No! I can't think like that!" I smack my thigh, get up and pack up some more stuff to take back to my house. I forgot to ask him what he wanted me to start packing of his stuff.
Since I'm wanting to start packing up his stuff to move in with me, that's my subconscious telling me things are going to work out, right?
Damn it, I wish Lirael was here to talk to. I guess I could call up Barb, but I think she's working today at the shop front... I don't want to bug her while she's working at the shop.
"Ughhh..." I pace a minute before pulling myself together and get dressed to go visit my brother.
Upon arrival, I find him talking with Alyssa laying in the bed with him and the curtains drawn for privacy around the bed. He smiles when he sees me poke my head in the curtains. He waves me over and I lay a kiss on his forehead.
"Hey sis, where's Brian?" He looks toward the door, like he might come through shortly.
"He had to handle the footage from the club last night so he could take it to the police station. He'll be here as soon as he can." I force a smile on my face and sit down.
"Did you two straighten things out between you?" Alyssa raises her head just enough to look at me more clearly.
I shrug, "I guess. I don't feel like it's resolved but that could just be that I know that Dass is probably at the club too right now." Sighing, I try to relax in the chair and continue, "But I'm going to trust Brian, as I've always done. It's her that I feel something is off, like she has a secret she's keeping from me."
"Then why are you taking it out on him? Why not just ask her?" Alyssa asks.
Groaning, I rest my head in my hands, " I don't know. Can we just drop it for now? How are you feeling today, David?"
"I'm alright as I can be, sissy. However, I wanted to let you know something." He gives Alyssa a soft smile, "I'm going to go stay at Alyssa's though from here on out."
"What?! Why?"
David smiles, "Because, I don't want my last days spent in a nursing home. Alyssa is going to take some paid vacation time and PTO, so she can take care of me at her home. She's already having a hospital bed and all the equipment I need, delivered to her home later today. As soon as it's set up, I'm going to go there."
My attention switches to Alyssa, asking her silently if she was really wanting to do this, but her sad smile and nod of her head tells me she is. I look back to David and giving him my best encouraging smile, I nod.
"I understand. I can still visit in the afternoons during the week, right?"
Alyssa scoffs, "Hell no!" Catching me off guard.
"I'm kidding! Of course you can!" Alyssa burst out laughing seeing the reaction on my face.
I awkwardly laugh at my own stupid reaction, because of course she wouldn't prevent me from visiting my brother.
Alyssa's phone goes off and she answers it, stepping out of the room.
"So sis, tell me something that is good that is going on with you and Brian."
My head swivels back to my brother from the door as I shrug, "Well, I offered to have him move in with me. His lease ends September first, so we were planning him moving in then. I don't know if he still wants to do that though. I've only started packing my stuff in boxes so far. I'm not sure what he would want packed yet."
"Pack whatever, just pack some of his stuff, that will tell him that you're still wanting him to move in with you. Now, give me something else." He asks, a smug smile spreading across his lips.
Unsure of what he was asking for, I curl my top lip at him and furrow my brows in disgust. "I'm not telling you about my sex life, you pervert."
David lets out a loud laugh, that gets him coughing and laughing at the same time. He brings his coughing under control and points at me, "Not that you idiot! Did he say something special to you lately?"
"HUH?" I'm totally clueless, thinking what has got him asking me if Brian has said something.
Oh my god, was Brian thinking of proposing to me already? Is that why he was so curt last night? Because the night got ruined? WAIT... What if he asked Dass to help pick it out and that is why she always seems like she's keeping something from me?
STOP SARINA... I'm letting my mind run away right now..
I admonish myself for letting my crazy thoughts grow out of control.
"What are you trying to ask me, David?"
He rolls his eyes, "So he tells me I love your sister, but he has not told you he loves you yet?"
Now it's my turn to laugh, "He told me that a few weeks ago!"
"How was I supposed to know? You didn't tell me." He smiles widely. "He's a good man, Sarina. Remember that."
Alyssa comes back into the room, smiling, "Well, everything has been delivered and my sister has it all hooked up and ready to go for us. So now we just need to pack your things and get your meds before we can go to the house."
David's smile grows wider, "What are we waiting on then? Let's start packing." He motions towards me and then his wheelchair, "Please, sis?"
I push the wheelchair closer to him, lock the wheels as he starts to move to get out of bed.
"Whoa! Hold up, Davy!" Alyssa rushes over, grabs his oxygen tubes and untangles them from around the bed frame. "Okay, now you can get down safely."
My brother looks at her with stars in his eyes and whispers softly, "You haven't called me Davy since high school."
She blushes, "Sorry, I forgot how much you disliked that nickname."
Chuckling, he tells her, "Yeah, I didn't like it that much when others would call me that, but I never told you how much I liked it when YOU called me that."
The goo goo eyes between these two right now have me sighing and awing like an anime character.
"Okay, you two. Let's save those moments for once you are at Alyssa's home, yeah?" I finally stop the moment seeing that they were just staring into each others eyes with such longing. It was starting to make me feel uncomfortable. That I was intruding on a private moment.
My brother just nods, still smiling with that twinkle in his eyes. "Yeah, you're right sis."
We got to work, packing his belongings, which wasn't much, mainly clothes and pictures. Looking at some of the pictures, I did notice that many of them were of me and him, but also him and Alyssa. My heart clenched in pain, life was so unpredictable and my brother may have made some bad choices, but he didn't deserve how life has turned out for him.
But... he doesn't seem to be letting any of it get him down.
I finish putting his pictures in a bag and watch as Alyssa attaches an oxygen tank to the back of David's wheelchair, and runs a short line to it for my brother to use. Yes, his health is fading, he can not walk, he lost too many years with the love of his life, but the laughter and happiness in his eyes, the excitement at going to his loves house, to spend as much time as they can together...
"Sis, are you going to continue collecting moon dust while you're spacing out or are you going to join us while I check out of here?" David's waving his hand at me and I shake my head.
"Sorry, I didn't gather any moon dust, but I do have a foot that can connect with Uranus if you keep that up." I retort, leaving David snickering as he wheels himself out.
"You're going to have to get to it first!" He shouts, as I follow him out, watching him wheel himself with renewed vigor.
My phone rings and I take it out of my pocket not looking at the caller ID, "Hello? Sarina McNeal speaking."
"Uh... Hey babe? I was just calling to let you know, I'm dropping the USB off at the police station and then I'm on my way to the nursing home. Are you still there?"
I look at the screen and sigh, "Not for long. David is being moved to Alyssa's house. We're about to sign him out now and everything. Alyssa's going to take care of him."
"Oh okay, are you going to her place with them then?"
"Yeah, for a little bit. You want me to send you the address so you can meet us there?" I ask him.
"That would be great. Thank you."
"Alright, I'll see you in a bit." I hang up and catch up to see David signing some paperwork at the front desk before we exit. I get the address from Alyssa and send it to Brian before following them out to her place.