Having to compose myself a little I stayed behind everyone and tried my best to ignore sympathetic glances commanders gave me before leaving.I was mentally exhausted so I sat on the floor with my back pressed against the cold wall, while burying my face in my hands.I released a shaky breath I was holding till now.That did it, without further warning my whole body trembled and I let out a strangled sob.How on Earth am I supposed to talk to my parents now if talking to my comrades broke me like this.I really wished that I was never born as the future king.Who would want to die as a distraction?.I wanted to run away from all troubles to a place where everything was easy and peaceful.But these thoughts were just pipe dreams.I realized it even when I was still a child.I was the king whether I liked or not.I am twenty four,my whole life I've been trained for this kind of situations.Then why am I suddenly feeling like this is the end.No!I refuse to think like that.The future of every Azarian depends on me.I had people to protect.That thought effectively stopped my tears.I furiously wiped them away and stood up."That was enough"I said myself sternly"you had your moment now go out there and do what you have to do".I took a deep breath and also left the north Wing like I wasn't just bawling my eyes out.Even if there are any servants running around they wouldn't dare to look me in the eyes.So I don't have to worry about being called "the crybaby king". Rumors were very dangerous things when you live with many people in enclosed spaces like castles.Everyone needs entertainment.That is why those false rumors exists.I don't want to cause more panic so it is much better if nobody saw me in this state.I quickly took a relaxing bath then left my chambers to meet Queen Flavia and Princesses Caerlion in the garden.
While passing the large windows that that overlooked the royal garden I noticed my father former king Ashford who was ill, lying unconscious on one of the garden beds that was made for him, while mother and little Caerlion seems to be in deep discussion about the late events no doubt.I gulped.If there was one thing that I feared it was my mother's wrath.I mean don't get me wrong,she is not a bad person on the contrary she is very sweet and nice woman until you make her angry.Once in middle of an event she came up to me with a charming smile.I know that some people think if someone smiles with their eyes closed it is because they are happy right?Well it might be true with some people but it is not the case with my mother.Me and Caerlion both take this smile as a warning and try not to trigger her even more.So if I recall correctly it turns out she was furious with how close Princess Claudia of Calixte was with me.But the party was my mother's idea all along.She wanted me to get married quickly, because I was beginning to shut people out.She thought having children would suddenly change me.So she sent informants to all over the Azariah and neighboring countries to inform people that no matter the lady's wealth and social status they could come to this so called Quer Ball.Even so I was against it I wanted to give everyone a chance to enjoy a nice evening after she told me anyone who wishes can come.But no one expected that Princess Claudia would show up too, considering that her kingdom and our's were fighting.It would be rude to sent someone away after telling anyone can come,so mother just invited her to join the other ladies.Even though I tried to ignore princess Claudia many times she didn't give up.Her ruby like irises that makes Orabas family stand out scared any girls away who wanted to talk to me with it's famous "devil's glare".For some reason every member of her family were really good at glaring.I knew since we were little that she had a crush on me and I hoped she would lose interest when she grow up.But it unfortunately it grew from innocent crush to obsession.She didn't stop pursuing me even after my rejection because of what her family did.In my opinion children grow up based on their parents personalities.And believe me Morfran Orabis was opposite of what you call a ideal father.
I let out a heavy sigh."I am starting to overthink it" I mumbled"You are overthinking what?". Startled I immediately spun around to deny the question and almost head-butted Nicholas who seemed shocked as well.
"What the hell Thaddeus?You almost made me curse in front of His Majesty whose presence I shouldn't disgrace" he said smirking slightly.Well he recovered fast, maybe he does this a lot.I rolled my eyes and scoffed while continuing to walk"Oh please, don't act like you haven't been disgracing my presence ever since you met me".He touched his chest with pained expression making me confused and said"Ouch that pierced right through my fragile heart".I burst out laughing and asked"Where did learn to talk like that?" he happily replied "Yesterday a traveler taught me.He was a strange one but seems to know lots things,for example did you know that there are more water than land in the world and there are mountains that are as hot as our blacksmith's workshop that can produce liquid fire?!".That caught my interest"Really?Has this traveler seen all this with his own eyes?" I said still sceptical "Yes he swore by our ancestors's name that everything he said is true"."And you believed him" I asked in disbelief"If I was suddenly gone for several years and came back to say that this world is actually a large round land would you believe me? I asked sarcastically.Nicholas after a moment of silence said"Well you are smart and honest,so if you swore by our ancestors's spirit then of course I would believe you!""You are unbelievably gullible" I said to him and started to walk faster.He laughed like I said something funny and continued to follow me.I am sometimes jealous of him.Nicholas is a very carefree person outside of his job.
Opening the doors that led straight into the garden I was met with blinding beams of the Sun.It was refreshing to be outside after being stuck inside my office for a long time.I smiled and felt like all of the unsettling emotions inside me were replaced by excitement.
"Thaddeus come"said mother smiling warmly at me.I guess she decided if was better not to argue with me at a time like this.I walked over to where they stood waiting for me to join them."Mother you must have realized the reason I came here is-" she cut me off "Listen to me first Thaddeus.The Sun always will look after us doesn't it?" she started looking solemn"Um... Mother?"I was certain she was against this whole new plan, but what does Sun have anything to do with the whole situation.She continued without paying me any attention "It has been everyone's only source of light and life for many years before candles were invented.People don't be upset if the Sun sets because they know that it will rise again the next day.But what if the Sun decides to never rise again? What will happen to the living things that depends on it to grow and live.You are like the Sun to Azariah.We can't definitely lose you.So what your old mother asks from you is to come with us, please,you don't have to die!". Her pleading eyes met mine.I quickly averted my eyes and said as calmly as possible "But Mother the soldiers that will stay here needs a cause to fight.What are they supposed to protect the castle from if the said castle is empty?They are normal people too,even if they are soldiers in battlefield they're someone's son, someone's brother someone's father or even someone's partner at their house.They are going to fight so the people of Azariah can get to safety.They all have people waiting for their return and what will I tell them?That they are defending this plants?I already informed the commanders about Frederick.If he is ever found I ask you to educate him.If you already know what I have decided then I think you also know that there is no way I will change my mind.So let's enjoy our evening while it lasts". Little Caerlion who has been talking to Nicholas while tending to father smiled at that.
"Healer Indalvur said that dad was getting better, he might even start moving in around three months"said Caerlion happily.Healer Indalvur Hendrix is very talented.If he says father will wake up again after some time then it must be true.It is quite depressing to think I might not be around that time.So I should spend some quality time with my family.I smiled at her "Then when he wakes up make sure to introduce him to all the horses we named together alright?"She smiled sadly and replied "Of course but I would prefer that you were there too so I won't have to be scolded for the silly names you came up with".I looked up at the clouds so she wouldn't see my teary eyes."Don't worry Caerlion I will always be near all of you and happy late birthday."