That night, Shu Hua broke up with me over WeChat.
He said that after thinking about it, students should prioritize their studies and he hoped we could talk about other things after the college entrance exams.
I didn't harbor any resentment towards him.
After all, he had such good grades and had always aimed to go to Tsinghua University, so I could understand why he didn't want to waste time on anything else.
However, I didn't expect that a few days later, Shu Hua would announce his relationship with Ting Qiu.
On my social media feed, I saw a picture of the two of them holding hands in the library with the caption, "Being with the right person makes you better and better."
There were a lot of blessings from friends like,
"The top student with the second to last student, I'm envious!"
"This child must be very intelligent, with an IQ of 180?"
...
The picture is taken very well, a beam of sunlight is just coming in through the window and falling on a pair of intertwined hands.
The girl's hands are white and elegant, the kind that Jiang Shu Hua likes.
He has said many times that the manicures I do are too flashy and not good looking.
Yes, he has always liked people like Qiu Ting.
She is good looking, with long, straight black hair, and is so pure and always gets top grades, she is just like the female lead in a youth movie.
As for me, I am just someone he was forced to be with after getting tired of chasing after others.
I held my phone with trembling hands, belatedly understanding Jiang Shu Hua's meaning.
So-called focusing on studying is just an excuse to break up with me.
However, he didn't even want to put in the effort to make this excuse and broke up with me just a few days later, completely unconcerned about how I would feel.
Yes, love between top students is so beautiful.
They will go to Tsinghua University together and have a bright future.
As for me, I am just a flawed product in this love affair that everyone else thinks doesn't fit in!
I picked up my phone to call Jiang Shu Hua.
After a long time, he finally answered the call.
I wanted to curse him out, but as soon as I opened my mouth, my throat tightened.
"Jiang Shu Hua, what do you mean by this? Don't you want to study hard?" I choked out.
Jiang Shu Hua was silent for a moment before quietly saying:
"I'm sorry Qiao Ru, I can't control things like feelings.
"We were never meant to be together in the first place. Ting Ting is different from you, being with her won't affect my studies."
"What about me?!" I cried out in despair, "What am I supposed to do?! Am I not good enough for you?"
"I'm sorry," Jiang Shu Hua's voice was slow and determined, "You may be pitiful, but I can't do anything about it."
A faint female voice could be heard in the microphone, it was Qiu Ting's voice.
"Shu Hua, I found a book..."
Jiang Shu Hua's voice was somewhat panicked: "I don't want to talk about it, please don't contact me in the future."
With that, he hung up the phone.
My vision gradually became blurry and the tears uncontrollably flowed down my cheeks.
At this moment, I felt like my feelings were not the only thing being trampled on, but also my dignity.
I was a loser who was ruthlessly kicked aside because I had no value.
And all of this was because I didn't do well in my studies.
Being with me would affect his studies, but being with Qiu Ting wouldn't.
They are golden boys and jade girls, what am I? I am a non-mainstream good-for-nothing.
I cried all night and the next morning, my eyes were almost swollen shut.
My temples were throbbing and I have never felt so miserable in my life.
However, a spark fell into my heart, starting a raging fire.
I will study hard!
I will make those who looked down on me regret it, I will prove myself to myself!