Most would agree with this statement: life at the institution was pure torture. But not for Nellie. For her, it was bliss.
She called the three stories manor her home because it's the only place she ever knew. She grew up between those walls and was raised by the different nurses, doctors and security guards that came and went by with time. The manor was her only parent, her protector: she loved it.
She never could understand why her brothers and sisters were so eager to leave, why they'd fight with the nurses to not receive their feel-good pills, or why they'd sometimes try to jump out of the windows. Hadn't the institution given them enough? Why would they want to return in the cold, harsh world when they were safer here?
Nellie couldn't understand and honestly, she wasn't trying too hard. She was lost in her own little world where everything was pink and perfect. As long as she was okay and still living at the institution, it didn't matter to her if the world burnt to the ground.
She stuck her pink tongue out and shivered when tiny snowdrops flopped into her mouth. A little giggle came out of the depth of her throat. If she concentrated hard enough, the snow would start to taste like her favorite ice cream flavor: Buttered pecan. Yum!
She squatted by the bushes and grabbed a handful of snow with her bare, freezing hands. Without an ounce of hesitation, she decided to shove the entire thing in her mouth, loving the sensation of melting eyes on her tongue. She hummed and smiled, licking her lips greedily.
"What the fuck, Nellie?"
Nellie could recognize that slurry, deep voice from just anywhere. She turned to watch Martim taking slow steps toward her, a cigarette stuck in the corner of his mouth.
"That got to be the most disgusting thing I've seen you do, so far. And believe me, you've done plenty of wild shit."
Martim was just a year older than her. He'd joined the institution seven months ago. Nellie didn't know what was wrong with him. Heck, she didn't know any of her brothers' and sisters' illnesses. All that mattered was that you had to be pretty damaged in your head to wind up in a home like this.
Some people like Martim didn't appear to be sick at all. He was no different from the security guards, nurses and doctors...Until he'd lose his shit and bite someone's ear off.
It happened before.
He'd been in countless fights with other patients but everyone knew he had a soft spot for Nellie Wright.
"It's only water, Tim." She said, standing tall on her feet. "What's disgusting about a little bit of water?"
Martim chuckled, closing the distance between Nellie and him. She could smell his cigarette and quickly started fanning the air with a little scrunch of her nose. Martim dropped his cigarette in the snow and it sizzled off. He ran his fingers through his light brown curls.
"Snow is full of bacteria, Nellie."
She rolled her eyes, not really buying it. Something as white and pure as snow couldn't be dirty. Martim was just stupid if he thought so. She tried to walk past him but he stopped her with an arm wrapped around her waist.
"Wait, I came to give you something."
"What?"
"Here."
He fished something out of his coat. Nellie gasped at the sight of a large cookie, still in its plastic wrapper.
"Where did you get it?"
She tried taking the snack but Martim raised his arm far above his head. Nellie was a little woman, barely five foot one. Her face turned a deep shade of red as she jumped once and failed to reach Martim's hand. He laughed at her, increasing her embarrassment. The color on her face contrasted beautifully with her already pale skin.
She had no idea of this but Martim believed that Nellie was the most beautiful woman in the world. She had the kind of beauty that would haunt you...The kind you could never forget.
She jumped again, her long, raven hair dancing around and Martim's smile widened. She took it as another mockery when in fact, he was just appreciating how pretty she was.
"Keep it, then!" She huffed before walking away.
"No, Nellie wait...You know I love to tease you. I'm sorry, okay?"
"I don't think you're very funny, Tim."
"I know, I'm sorry...Here, you can have it now."
The temptation to bite into that cookie was stronger than her pride. Nellie stopped abruptly and snatched it away from Martim's hand. She ripped the package open and took her first bite. She almost melted right then and there.
A guard was patrolling not too far from their position. Martim dragged her by the hand so they could hide behind a tree. Nellie didn't even seem to notice or to mind the presence of the guard.
"You can't be seen eating this." Martim told her. "You know it's not allowed to eat anything that's not coming from the cafeteria."
"...Where did you get it?" Nellie asked again with her mouth full, completely ignoring Martim's warning.
"Just a deal between me and...It doesn't matter. I did it for you."
Slowly, Nellie's lips stretch into a smile. She looks at Martim through her lashes and sees him leaning down closer to her. She stuck the cookie between his parted lips without warning. The boy coughed a little as she broke into laughter.
"Hey, what was that for?" Martim complained, brushing away the cookie crumbles still attached to his lips.
"I told you, you can't kiss me." Nellie responded. "I have a boyfriend."
Martim sniggered:
"You mean the pretty boy who only exists in Nurse Sheridan's computer screen?"
"He's real and he's waiting for me."
"Oh, Nellie...Why don't you just pay attention to the boys here, Mmh? Those who are right in front of you?"
Saying those words, Martim closed the distance between them again. He took Nellie's hand and put it over his chest, where she could feel his heartbeat. Nellie froze for a second, staring between her hand and Martim's enticing brown eyes.
"I'm right here." He whispered.
She tilted her head to the side. Those wide, dark eyes of hers were deeper than the universe and impossible to escape from...Until she spat out her harsh words:
"Yeah, but you're not Troy."
Martim's bubble burst just like that. Nellie had said those last words with a coldness that showed she had no idea how hurtful they were to him. She blinked with oblivion and took another bite of her cookie. After a short moment of shock, Martim snapped back to reality and tucked a hair strand behind her ear.
"Damn right, I'm not..." He whispered.
Martim ignored the clenching of his lovesick heart. After all, it was his fault for falling in love with an insane girl who was obsessed with some random pop singer...