It took me moments to realize that I didn't want to go home. I didn't want to make myself a nuisance to the driver, more than I already was, so I asked him to drop me at home in anyway. I paid him extra and once he drove away, I didn't go inside the house. I walked down the street and ended up standing infront of the door of a place I never thought I'd find myself standing anytime.
I was at Matias's home and before I could rethink coming here, I had already rang the doorbell. Moments later the door opened and Mrs Pasley, Matias's mom, was standing there.
"Bonnie?" She sounded surprised to see me, but very much so happy as a smile formed on her face. "You had just missed him. He left, said that he had to meet with a friend!"
"Oh...Uhm..." She was probably referring to Matias. I didn't even know I was there, but at the moment I didn't wnat to go home. If went home, then I'd be alone and when I'm alone I will start crying. I didn't want to cry, not anymore and especially not for anyone. "I just wanted to come over and visit and see how you guys are doing." I half lied.
"Oh Dearie, come on inside!" The woman pulled me into a hug and then she let me in. "How many times do I have to tell you, that this will always be your home. Never stand by that door waiting for an invitation again!"
I smiled warmly at her. Her presence alone felt distracting enough. I had always envied Matias because of how loving and caring his mother stayed even after he lost his dad too. Mine on the other hand...There wasn't much I could really say about her. She had made her terrible choices and I learnt to not care what she does with her life anymore. She no longer was a part of mine.
"I was just busy preparing dinner. You should join us, I missed you and even wondered why you stopped coming over. Are you mad at us for some reason?"
"No..." I shook my head, a bit nervously. The reason I didn't come cover was because I broke her son's heart and couldn't stare them in the eye after what I've done. Matias and I did eventually get over that, but at the time I was too busy getting fucked by my professor to even care to visit one person that really cared about me.
Now I felt guilty and wished I had come here more often. Maybe then I wouldn't have felt alone as I did after my family fell apart.
"Make yourself home!" She gently patted my shoulder. "I'll go make us some coffee. I'm sure Matias will be home soon!"
She then left me inside the living room and headed to the kitchen. I remained standing in the living room, looking around. Nothing about this place had really changed since I last was here. That one spot behind the couch, where Matias and I used to play, was still there.
My parents often found it strange that I preferred being friends with one single boy more than with girls, like most girls usually did my age. I wasn't like other girls and being the only daughter in my family, did cause a lot of friction between me and my mother.
I obviously didn't want to wait in the living room for Mrs Pasley and spend the time thinking about my family that went history, less did I even want to think about Tobit. Moreover that, I wanted to see if something did change in the house and there was only one place that normally changed in this house. Matias's room.
I headed up the stairs, staring at old photos of was passing by. As soon as I reached his small bedroom, I waited for a moment before I walked in. It was oddly dark in his room and it looked like curtains were all closed, so I turned on the lights. What was I even doing in his room?
Out of curiosity I stepped through the door and what I found there, was not what expected. His bed standing in one corner of the room. His desk, surprisingly neatly tidied up and even a calculator was standing there, something the old Matias I once knew, never would've touched the first time he'd have the chance. Matias has grown a lot without me present in his life.
I sat down on his bed and rested both my hands on top of the sheets. I used to come over to his house and sneak into his room through his window. And whenever his mother suspected that I was here, I'd hide inside his closet. I even wondered if that tree was still there.
I looked at the window and all I saw was nothing. No sign of the tree, which meant that they probably cut it off. I then thought maybe my hiding spot inside the closer was still there.
So I walked to the closet and I gently pulled the door open and then as soon as the door opened, I saw it. There weren't any clothes hanging down the rail, there wasn't even a rail in there. All I saw was dozens of pictures.
They all look like drawings or types of art of demonic like creatures, there were even scripts and loose articles pinned to the interior of the closet. But what was hard to miss, was one picture of Tobit. Every drawing, article, map and even strangely shaped objects, all had red strings connecting to his photo. I saw the words "Incubus", "sex slave" and even "imposter" near his picture and it was all a lot to take in. So much that it nearly had my head spinning.
But at same time, I knew that there was only one thing I could make out of this. Maybe I looked at this wrongly or maybe I was seeing things. Matias had some obsession with Tobit and I honestly didn't know what it was.
And of course, I spotted one thing that could give me the answer, I saw his journal. I reached for it, yet before I could even touch it I heard his voice coming from behind me.
"Are you lost, Bonnie?"