"Everyone, I'd like you to give a warm welcome to the newest member of our cult—Impy!" Tommy set the chubby imp on the ground, stifling a laugh as it tumbled onto its back.
"It's so cute," squealed Alice, rushing over to pet the little demon.
"Hey, let me touch it," demanded another girl, tugging on Alice's blonde hair.
"Ladies, ladies—there's enough of Impy to go around," said the sleazy imp, garnering giggles from the female cultists.
"My lord, might I ask why you've accepted such a weak demon as your familiar?" asked Isaac, clearly perplexed by his choice.
"Who're you calling weak, you old—"
"Oh, quiet down, you red purse poodle," Tommy demanded, his tone playful and without edge. "Isaac—Impy is now a member of our team, so please show it some respect."
"Of course, my Lord Bones. Please forgive me," Isaac apologized with a low bow, drawing a snicker from Impy.
"That goes for your too, Impy. Isaac has proven himself to be the most valuable member of this cult, so I would ask that you give him the respect he's entitled to."
Impy shot a finger gun at him. "You got it, boss. And stop calling me an it, okay? I'm a he—a proud he!"
For a hellspawn, the little guy was surprisingly hip. I mean, who would've guessed that a demon knew how to shoot a finger gun?
"And you're just the cutest he to ever walk Pelindor," cooed Alice, tickling his tummy.
Tommy looked at the rising sun. Last night had been a semi-productive one, what with Impy's summoning and their discussion about economics. It turned out the little guy had no sense whatsoever when it came to money. He was even worse than Isaac!
"It's time to move, everyone. Pack your things up and let's go," Tommy ordered.
The cultists whined but shifted into gear, rolling up their furs and sliding their bulky knapsacks on. In stark contrast, the bone knights were silent, already prepared to march.
Tommy figured today would be a good day to get to know his cultists, talk with some of them, learn their names and all that jazz. They had two days of walking left, after all; there wouldn't be a better opportunity.
His eyes settled upon a tan-skinned girl with brown waterfall curls.
Could you tell me a little about yourself?" he asked.
Her face adopted a faint blush. "I'm Star, my lord," she muttered.
"What a lovely name. Where are you from, Star?"
The other cultists looked on in envy at the attention she was receiving. Little did they know, Mister Bones would be annoying all of them today.
"I'm from Edonia, but I was raised here in Alyria."
"So you know the land well, then. Could you tell me a little about it?"
"Certainly, my lord. What would you like to know?"
Boring, boring, boring. He asked a dozen questions for which she had a dozen answers. When you cast a fireball—a literal fireball made of fire and even more fire—your view on life changes quite a bit. Long discussions about things that don't involve magic or conquering the world grow old fast. Very fast.
After talking with boring old Star, he jumped to a man named Pluto. The guy was from the kingdom of Azantia, the son of some nobody blacksmith and some nobody seamstress—
Was he being rude? His blatant disregard for other peoples' lives was beginning to feel rude.
Whatever. That hardly mattered.
He talked to Jacob, Sarah, Nathan, Davy, Elliott, Nigel, and Walt—the last seven he hadn't yet been introduced to. Their stories? Each was more boring than the last.
Alice shot him a smile when he approached, parrying the sun's glare with her pearly white teeth. "My lord, I was hoping you'd come to speak with me."
"I thought it wise to get to know my disciples a little better. So, please, tell me about yourself."
"Sure," she squeaked. "I'm the youngest daughter of Lord Lawe of the great and noble house of Versil—Alice Marylew Versil."
Now things were getting spicy. It only made sense that this world had noble houses, he supposed. From what Isaac had told him, its society was similar to that of Europe during the Late Middle Ages.
"Did you run away to join the Black Tongue?"
She nodded. "The cult was once massive—thousands of magic casters searching for your tomb across the world. By the time I found Isaac, its numbers had been reduced to less than a dozen. Still, I joined in hopes of finding you, my lord. And we succeeded."
"So, what do you think? Are you disappointed in what you found?"
A look of horror crept onto her face. "No, my lord! If I have done something to make you believe that, please forgive me," she yelled, throwing herself to the ground.
Oh, great—this again. These guys really needed to chill.
Tommy bent down and took her hand. "Up, up. No need for any of that."
She stood, face red, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, my lord."
"Let's just forget that happened, alright? Tell me more about your family. Will they be a problem in the future?"
Alice wiped the tears from her eyes. "A problem?" she asked.
"As in, will they be coming after you?" Tommy clarified.
"My father has all but given up the search. It's been years since I've seen him—just over a decade now."
"Do you miss him?"
She shook her head. "He was a pragmatic man who cared very little for me. His only desire was that I be wed to another noble house to secure an alliance."
That made sense. Maybe when he was done taking over the world, all that noble house stuff could be abolished—thrown away like the garbage it was. Capitalism was the curvy lover of anti-royalism, waiting to be undressed and revealed to the world. And if anyone was going to strip it, it would be Tommy.
"Say, Alice, you probably know a lot about noble houses and all that junk, right?" he asked.
"Yes, my lord. I've been schooled quite extensively on such matters."
"Then tell me something—how do lords afford to build their castles and feed their soldiers?"
She answered immediately: "For both talons and food, lords rely upon the peasants of the villages they rule over."
"What if the peasants don't have enough talons or food to give?"
"A debt is always collected. If they lack talons or food, they will be forced to perform unpaid labor or join the lord's army until the value of the missing goods is repaid."
A flawed system if there ever was one. No wonder it went out of style on Earth.
"And what if the lords don't have enough talons at the end of it all? They're stuck with unpaid laborers and untrained soldiers?"
"Well, yes, I suppose so," she stuttered.
"Could a lord take a loan from a bank if he is short on talons?"
"I'm sorry, my lord, but I'm not familiar with that word. What is a bank?"
Yes! This was amazing news. It seemed medieval Italy's trashy banking system didn't stretch into Pelindor. These people were so primitive it was almost laughable.
"A bank is a place where people can get loans. Do lords ever get loans?"
"They can request money from their king or fellow lords, but it's far from a formal process. In fact, it's seen as shameful to do so. I have only ever read of such a thing happening."
"Good. That's very good. Thank you, Alice—you've helped me more than you realize."
A smile took over her face. "I'm glad I could be of help, Lord Bones!"
The cogs were turning in Tommy's head. Starting a bank would be plausible with the daily income they were about to attain, and it would be an excellent step in taking over the world. If he could get lords to depend on him for money, he'd quickly grow in power. There was just one problem, though.
Tommy left the girl alone, moving to speak with Isaac. "You've read about me in books, haven't you?"
Isaac nodded. "Yes, my lord. I've read every biography on you that there is to read."
"Did any of them mention an item or a spell that I used to disguise myself as a human, height and all?
He thought for a few seconds, then issued a reply: "Yes, I believe so. A snippet from Daleson's biography mentions your use of a ring to mimic the appearance of a human. It is said you made frequent use of it to trick the commanders of the Holy Army."
"I see. Thank you, Isaac."
"Of course, my lord. I am always eager to serve."
If he could find the ring, he could enter a human city without risk. And that would open the way to many profitable ventures. Problem was—only one creature knew where the ring was.
It seemed it was time for Impy to fulfill his part of the deal.