"What in the heck is wrong with you, you crimson weasel?" Tommy yelled, shooting spittle onto Impy's scrunched face. "If you think I'm killing someone, you're out of your mind."
"Well, therein lies the problem. See, I already told him where you'd be. In fact, his summoner might already be on his way here," Impy confessed.
Tommy threw his arms in the air. "You're nuts, cuckoo, absolutely deranged!"
"All you have to do is cast one fireball and he's done for. Just a little flame-on-skin action for your new pal Impy. What do you say?"
"I'm going to incapacitate him—that's what's going to happen. You and this Dumbo—"
"Dino," Impy interjected.
"Dino. You and this Dino will keep your magic, and this summoner guy and I will keep our lives. Sound fair to you?"
Impy raised a finger. "Now wait just one second. I think I might have something that will change your mind."
Tommy scoffed. "Nothing could possibly change my mind, you overgrown strawberry."
"Spells."
"What about them?"
"I can get you spells—powerful spells lost to time," Impy claimed. "You didn't think the old lich was the only powerful magic caster in the underworld, did you? Agree to kill the guy, and I'll change the terms of our contract. I'll get you all the info you want and more."
That offer was actually pretty tempting. It begged the question—what was a single life worth in the grand scheme of things? If it furthered his plans, maybe it was a meaningful sacrifice.
"I'll make a decision when I meet the guy," Tommy settled. "For now, I'm only focused on getting my disciples and bone knights to the mine."
Impy heaved a sigh. "That's fair, I suppose."
Tommy left the floating imp to join his disciples. They had finished packing their things and were patiently awaiting his go-ahead.
"Alright, guys, let's hurry. The sooner we're there, the sooner you can all get a good night's rest."
They walked for a full ten hours, taking several breaks to ease their sore feet. When they finally arrived at a meadow near the mine, the sun was beginning to set and the cultists were close to collapsing.
"We're here," Alice exclaimed, flopping onto the flowers.
"About time," muttered Finn, already pitching his tent.
Tommy smiled. It was nice to see them all excited. In a way, he was responsible for them. They might not have meant to summon him, but he was still their leader. Sort of.
"Isaac—tomorrow morning, you and I will bring the bone knights to the mine. The morning after that; we'll use the money they earned us to buy some food from that inn we passed."
"The Slippery Slipper?" Isaac asked.
"Yes, that one."
"Very good, my lord."
"For now, you should get some shuteye. That goes for all of you."
"Yes, Lord Bones," they said, rushing to set up camp.
While his disciples slept, Tommy flipped through Isaac's spellbook, perusing the conjuration spells.
"Summon caterpillar, summon mouse, summon armadillo, summon—" He stopped himself, bringing his eyehole closer to the bold lettering. "What the heck is a gobbler?" He rose to his feet and aimed his palm at the ground. "Summon gobbler!"
And there it was, in all the glory an animal could possess, encapsulated by yellow light—a six-foot-tall turkey. It pecked the ground, fluttered its brown feathers, and gobbled, just as any turkey would.
"That's cute. They call turkeys gobblers in this world."
"Hey, big guy!" yelled Impy, flying towards him at the speed of a salted slug.
"Lower your voice," Tommy whispered.
"Sorry, but we've got a problem. You know how I said that guy would be here in a few days?"
"Considering we just had that conversation this morning—yes, I do remember."
Impy crossed his arms and frowned. "Well, I don't know how, but he's almost here. I can smell Dino's stench getting closer. I'd say you've got about twenty minutes to prepare."
Tommy heaved a sigh. "I suppose if I have to do this, it's best to get it over with now." He banished the gobbler back to whatever godforsaken place it came from.
Impy's frown reversed into a smile. "There you go—that's the spirit!"
The dumb little imp deserved to be punted into a river without a canoe. If he weren't the only one who could talk to the lich, Tommy would have sent him back to the underworld. Permanently,
Tommy made his way to the road. It was more likely that Dino's summoner was following paths rather than traipsing through meadows or forests, so it seemed like a fair idea. The walk only took ten minutes, and his leisurely pace did much to put Impy on edge.
"You know you're about to engage in a duel to the death, right?"
"Yes. Do you remember our deal?"
Impy perked up. "So that means you're going to do it? You'll kill him?"
"Like I said—I need to meet the guy. But if I do kill him, you'll satisfy your end of the deal?"
"Of course, I will. Demons can't go back on their word."
Tommy nodded and moved to the center of the dirt road. "Greater magic shield, greater enhance strength, greater enhance speed," he spoke, setting himself alight with a multitude of colors.
"This guy's done for," Impy declared, failing to restrain a wicked laugh.
They stood for ten minutes before they saw a man racing down the road on a black horse. He wore a set of plate armor and a white cape that shone under the wan moon, giving him the appearance of a heroic knight. On his hip rested two golden sheaths, one long and one short—a sword and a dagger. The man was clearly wealthy, though how he acquired that wealth was of some concern to Tommy.
To the knight's side hovered a fat imp of similar shape to Impy. On his blue, furry head were big, bulging eyes and a confident smile. The little demon clearly had faith in his summoner.
The man lifted his visor to reveal a handsome, stubbled face. "Is that your friend, Dino?" he asked.
So, the guy was a grownup. That's good news. Roasting a child with a fireball wasn't a very appealing idea.
"That's him," growled the floating munchkin, sharp eyes glaring at Impy's smug face.
The knight dismounted and walked forward a dozen paces. "I am Sir Colby of the great and noble house of Goodmere. Who am I to face today?"
Credit where credit is due—the guy wasn't afraid of fighting a nine-foot-tall man in a business suit. If the tables were turned, Tommy would be shaking in his metaphorical boots.
"I am Mister Bones," Tommy boomed, hoping to intimidate the man.
"Has your imp properly explained the stakes of our duel?" asked Colby, voice colder than a freezer in Antarctica.
Tommy nodded. "He has, but I'm not quite sure if I'm comfortable with killing another human."
Colby furrowed his brow and drew his longsword from its sheath. His gauntlets wrapped around its leather hilt, pinkie lingering just centimeters above its serpent-head pommel, thumb resting below its bronze cross-guard. The steel blade basked in the moonlight, uttering beautiful reflections from its surface like a clear brook. It was a sword above swords—a masterwork of weaponsmithing.
Tommy had to admit—he wanted that sword pretty badly.
"I care little for your comfortability. Draw your weapon or die where you stand."
"You would kill an unarmed man who is refusing to fight?"
"Without hesitation," Colby replied. He lowered his visor and inched forward.
Well, this guy wasn't really giving him a choice here, was he? Fine, then—it was settled. Sir Colby of the noble house of whatever was going to the underworld!
"Raise bone knight," Tommy yelled.
A bone knight appeared from a spiraling mess of purple light, garbed in its signature rusted getup. It charged at Colby absent hesitation, rusted greatsword at the ready.
"What?" screeched Dino.
"Told you he was something else," Impy hollered, cupping his hands around his mouth.
Colby twisted his blade, parrying a slash aimed at his gut, then stepped back some paces, clearly wary of his new foe. "Imbue weapon," he muttered, setting his sword alight with red flames.
"Very impressive, Sir Colby," Tommy commended.
The bone knight lunged forward, making a quick jab at Colby's visor then a swing at his groin. Colby blocked the strikes with grace and delivered a hard thrust through its helmeted skull, piercing through it and setting it aflame. He ducked a wild backhand and stepped back a few feet, watching as the undead crumbled apart, fire consuming it.
"You're out of mana," Colby claimed. "Draw your blade and let's end this."
"I'm out of mana? How did you reach such a conclusion?" Tommy asked.
Colby raised his visor and sneered. "Even the archmages of the Blue Hand would be drained after casting a spell like that."
Tommy cast a smile at him. "Raise bone knight."
A fresh bone knight arrived in a vortex of purple light, carving disbelief onto Colby's face.
"I believe one proves too easy for you to handle. Shall we make it two?"
"You're bluffing," Colby yelled. "Nobody in Pelindor has that much mana!"
"Raise bone knight."
Another bone knight appeared before them.
Colby growled and readied himself for battle.
"You truly are courageous, Sir Colby. Bone knights—kill him."
The two knights came at Colby with vigor, trying strikes in every direction, aiming for the gaps in his armor. He moved like the wind, pulling back and bounding forward, making quick jabs at their heads with his fiery blade. The clanging of metal, steel on steel, sang across the night sky as their swords met in quick clashes. The blades met a dozen times before a thrust from Colby made its way through one of their eyes, killing it with a burst of fire. Its twin responded poorly, kicking him into the dirt absent his now-flameless sword.
"Telekinesis," Tommy whispered, pulling the sheening weapon into his hand. "It's a work of art. Truly."
Colby rose to his feet, panting, tired from the rapid exchange of blows. "Imbue weapon," he spoke, nearly collapsing as his dagger was consumed by fire. "That is the heirloom blade of House Goodmere, you insolent dog! I will soon see it returned to its sheath."
"Yeah, right. You're finished, pal!" Impy yelled, a shark-like grin on his face.
The bone knight pressed forward with a mighty swing at Colby's head but met air as the man turned viper, snaking around it and returning with a slash across its skull. Before the fire could eat it wholly, it threw its palm against the side of his head, sending his helmet flying away.
Colby fell to the ground, nursing the deep cut on his cheek. He glared at Tommy, hate and fear swirling in his eyes. "I will kill you," he declared.
"Oh, please. You're on your last leg over there. And now that I've tested the abilities of a bone knight, I'm afraid you're no longer of any use to me."
"Wait," screamed Dino, flying over to his summoner. "You don't have to kill him. Please, spare his life!"
"I stand to gain nothing except an enemy should I spare him. If I kill him, however, I will have a stronger familiar, a shiny new set of armor, and another bone knight to add to my army. Do try to convince me, though. I'm eager to hear your argument."
"He's a knight of a noble house; he can offer you great wealth!"
"What a weak sales pitch. Sorry, Sir Colby—it's time for you to die."
With all the speed of a newborn giraffe, Colby rose to his feet and charged, letting out a weak battle cry that shook with every step.
"Godless flames," Tommy spoke, his voice like a thunderclap in the silent night. His palm vomited purple flames that stretched their way through Colby's visor, bringing him to his knees screaming. The fair-skinned knight was roasted alive from head to foot, reduced to a few pounds of ash in precious seconds.
"Yes," Impy cried, staring at Dino like a hawk would a mouse. "Your power is mine, you condescending furball!"
Dino clutched his stomach and reeled backward, letting out a horrible shriek. His body was changing, shrinking like a deflating balloon. He was less than a foot tall now and had no wings or horns. If one were to claim he was a blue rat, they would convince a great deal of people.
Impy's laughter only grew louder as his own body began to twist into something new. He grew larger, standing nearly two feet tall with an even chubbier face and gut, and had longer, curved horns. "Oh, look at poor little Dino. You're just a limp now, aren't you?"
Tommy cocked his head. "A limp?"
"A lesser imp. We call 'em limps for short," Impy explained. "I, myself, am now a gimp thanks to you, my giant friend. A greater imp."
Tommy chuckled. "Good for you, buddy. Glad you're a gimp."
"Just you wait, Impy—I'll make you pay for this," Dino squeaked. He conjured a portal to the underworld and hopped through it as quickly as his tiny body could manage.
"Well, now that I've killed a man and turned his pet demon into a hamster, I think it's time we go back to camp."
"You got it, boss."