"No way, Raphael. A guy like you can't possibly have a hard time confessing your feelings." Leah tried to convince Raphael, at those words Raphael laughed lightly.
"Hm, really? Do you think I can easily confess? Without feeling anxious?"
Leah nodded, she gave Raphael a strange look, a Raphael Winchens— hesitating to confess his love? How could that be! a man with ugly face could confidently flirt with a woman without any nervousness, so why would someone named Raphael Winchens who was gifted with a face as if sculpted by an angel, be nervous about expressing his love? Every woman he flirted with would scream 'Yes!' if Raphael walked up to them and said 'Come on a date with me.'— Not to mention the wealth of the Winchens family was an infinite point for a man to choose any woman he wanted.
At Leah's reaction which made Raphael laugh, Raphael shrugged his shoulders "I'm a human too, of course I can be nervous."
"I didn't mean that way— I mean you know, you're very handsome, okay? I speak very honestly."
"Am I really handsome?" Raphael smiled, Leah's face immediately turned red, the woman opened her mouth but closed it again, as if she was not ready to answer, she decided to be silent and looked away.
"Ezra, am I handsome?"
Why is he suddenly asking me?
Groaning inwardly, Ezra turned to the man who smiled sweetly then winked at him, Ezra's forehead wrinkled, he certainly still had eyes that function properly. But to admit it openly, somehow felt embarrassing, so Ezra shook his head, causing the smile that was etched on Raphael's lips to turn into a pout.
"Come on Ezra, you know that Raphael won the most handsome man in this campus," Leah added, trying to make Raphael feel better but even though he didn't say anything the man must have known that he was handsome, he had a mirror at home.
Ezra certainly knew that Raphael won the most handsome man in every semester with the number of voters far more than the second place winner, it didn't even look like a competition anymore, because the result was clear; Raphael would win. So there was no point in doing such stupid vote.
Clack.
The sound of the front door opening suddenly made the whole class quiet, a middle-aged man— the first hour lecturer, entered their class. Martin, shortly thereafter, was shouting excitedly about the literature quotes assignment as the other students groaned in annoyance, seemed that there were many students who didn't bring any quotes.
"Can I sit next to you?"
Suddenly Raphael's voice stopped his reverie, Ezra looked up, since when was that man standing here? and wasn't the seat beside him already occupied by a person? where did that man go?
Ezra looked doubtful, much had changed from his previous life, and he felt more and more afraid. He looked back at Raphael who had a hopeful face, Ezra snorted, he eventually nodded.
Again, Raphael's face made it hard for him to say no.
*
After tidying up some books and stuffing them all into his bag, Ezra stretched, feeling his joints ache from sitting for too long in class, today's lesson went on as usual. Ezra was simply not in the mood to go back to college, he had already graduated in his previous life. He also already had a job and spent time working and then going home, but now he had returned to college again, so it was a bit boring for him.
He stood but feeling the gaze from someone staring intently at him, Raphael didn't stop stealing glances, he seemed to be thinking about something and Ezra was not too curious to ask. He walked nonchalantly to the exit with Raphael following behind.
This was nothing new, as they lived in the same apartment building, sometimes they also went home together. They rarely talk while walking, Ezra didn't even know what to talk about, besides that they were also used to being like this because he sometimes didn't have any desire to interact, ignoring Raphael who tried to start a conversation.
There were many things in his previous life that Ezra himself did not know why he was acting like that, maybe because the fear and trauma that suddenly appeared often made Ezra reluctant to be near anyone, even now his head throbbed sharply, he really wanted to take the medicine he kept in his bag and eat some, the voices in the head kept on ringing but this time the voice was very low and Ezra did not even know what they were saying, all he knew was his ears hurt and his head hurt, he wanted to hurry back to his room.
Speeding up his steps, the man behind him also walked faster, now they were walking side by side, Raphael wearing a worried face when he saw Ezra's pale face. It was always been like this, Raphael could always see through him and react quickly.
Embarrassing, he always looked weak in front of this man.
"Are you okay?" he asked, Ezra snorted at the man for a moment then looked straight back to the front.
No, he was not okay, his head hurts, and the voices in his head were getting louder and louder.
Seeing Ezra who didn't answer, Raphael stopped asking, walked quietly beside him, until they passed the basketball court, the place where Ezra fainted a few days ago after being hit by a basketball.
Ezra glanced at the place, which was filled with many men playing, his gaze fell on Raphael. It was a rare moment for Ezra to struck up a conversation as the two of them were walking home together.
"You're not going to play with them?"
Raphael's head quickly turned to him, staring at Ezra's face with narrowed eyes before finally answering, "I'm not in the mood."
Silence returned to the two of them, only the faint whispers of people sitting and watching basketball entered his ears, it seemed they too were talking about the two days ago incident as their eyes occasionally fell on Raphael and Ezra.
Ah, the incident when he was hit on the head by a basketball— that was also a bit embarrassing. Of the many people who walked past this place, for some reason the ball hit him.
'Damn I should have killed that guy, tsk.'
'Does your head still hurt? don't worry I'll beat that guy up again.'
"....."
Recalling their conversation at the hospital, Raphael said it in a cold tone, as if he was really serious about wanting to kill that man. Ezra tried to remember what happened to the man who accidentally threw the ball and hit his head, but he had no idea, at that time Ezra never asked, he did not even know who the culprit was. More like he did not give a damn and went about his day back to normal activities.
However the Ezra, who was alive again this year somehow, was curious. He glanced at Raphael's face who was looking straight ahead then turned his eyes again to the road, glanced again and averted his eyes again, Ezra still hesitated to ask.
He tried taking a glance again, but then Ezra almost gasped because their eyes met, Raphael raised an eyebrow as if confused by his behavior, and Ezra looked back at the road. He opened his mouth slowly while squeezing the strap of his bag.
"Do you know that person ... the one who accidentally hit my head with the ball, I don't know who did that ..."
"Are you worried about that person? how unusual, it's not like you Ezra."
There was a hint of annoyance in his words and either he heard it that way or maybe he heard it wrong. Raphael then clicked his tongue. "Aaron, he's in the hospital, you don't need to worry in three months, his hand will be fine."
"Huh?"
"I said you don't have to worry ... you don't usually ask about other people."
Ezra blinked his eyes for a moment, his steps abruptly halted, he didn't know this information at all in his previous life, also— Aaron was a good boy, he always greeted him after that incident with a smile without any anger towards Ezra, if he was in the hospital with his hand broken, then wasn't that really bad?
Aaron— he quite remembered a guy named Aaron, their classes were next door so they met up often, Aaron was an extrovert so he greeted almost everyone on campus, and because of that trait, it was quite easy for people to get to know him.
Ezra instantly remembered when Aaron had not been seen for several months and discovered that he had taken time off.
Was it because of this? Because of Raphael?
Raphael had a confused face seeing Ezra who suddenly stopped walking, he looked at every inch of his face as if looking for reasons why Ezra suddenly looked annoyed.
"Raphael did you do that to him?"
"You are mad about that .... He deserved it."
"Raphael, you ... what if you get suspended from school?! Are you crazy?! Not only that, what if Aaron's family sues you?!"
Crazy man! Ezra groaned, this made him think back to their highschool days where Ezra fought with some school gangs over trivial matters, something that should have been resolved peacefully if he reported them to the teacher or security guard. Raphael who saw Ezra who was surrounded by the group, lost control and they got into a fight. The students were seriously injured so that they were put in the hospital while Raphael-- the man ended up with only a dirty uniform, a clean body without injuries, no— he had a few scratches on his fingers because he had hit them too hard.
Ezra, put on a face of disbelief at what he had done to a nice man named Aaron, but Raphael instead, had a sweet smile on his lips, his face was very bright, the wrinkles on his forehead disappeared replaced with a facial expression as if he was in a very good mood, like a child who was given a gift of a favorite toy from his mother.
"Crazy, you're out of your mind Raphael ... why are you even smiling?!"
Raphael slowly got closer, he smiled. One hand was a bit hesitant but he finally raised the hand, putting that hand on Ezra's cheek which made Ezra flinch a little and put on a sullen face.
"It's because of your eyes, the eyes of someone I know."
Ezra was even more confused, what was that supposed to mean. However he discouraged himself from asking, Ezra brushed the hand off his cheek, snorted and walked past Raphael. He quickly caught up to Ezra, his smile gone, replaced by Raphael's usual expression.
"Don't worry, Aaron also feels guilty so he won't sue me, calm down Ezzie, don't worry about me."
Sighing, that name— he had not heard it in a long time. 'Ezzie'. As a child Raphael called him by that name because he had difficulty pronouncing the letter R. Ezra turned his head to the side, at Raphael who was still looking at him now, Ezra's face flushed, that name sounded very childish and embarrassing.
"D-don't call me that, you've grown up, and you've been able to say the letter R for a long time so don't call me that."
Raphael laughed, his laugh was very fresh, laughing loudly as if he didn't care if people looked at him strangely, but of course no one giving Raphael a strange look, even though his laugh was very loud and weird, the laugh added to the man's handsome impression.
Several people stared at him with amazement as they saw Raphael laughing, in contrast to Ezra who lowered his head because he didn't like the attention.
"I haven't called you that in a long time huh, when was the last time? I don't even remember."
"Stop calling me that."
His voice was soft, not so serious as to forbid, he hastened up his pace, Ezra could not wait to get into his apartment, his chest was hot and he wanted to take medicine immediately to relieve the pain in both of his head and chest.