It was a normal weekend playing Fortnite with my bros. My friends were saying Sus things about me as usual. Things like, "OMG! Alan, you cute jew boy you have such a voluptuous dumpy wumpy!"

This was usual among my friend group as they seemed to pride themselves over who could say the gayest thing possible to me to make me uncomfortable. Somehow I was able to focus on the game enough to just barely get the dub over this sweaty try hard.

I was feeling thirsty so I told my friends I was going to get some water. Of course, one of them immediately commented, "Dam he thirsty, thirsty for this Dick!" *sigh*

While I was heading downstairs to get some water I thought to myself 'God I wish sometimes they'd give my ass a break'… 'God dam it'. "Oh shit!" I wasn't paying attention and ended up falling down the stairs headfirst. Surely this can't be how I die!