"Hey, Miss Homugi, you've fought with Meioshi, right?" Hasumi asked, hopping on one foot.
"Yes," the inu warrior replied, following behind the miko with some suspicion. "Twice, actually."
They were walking through a small bit of woods just outside of the village. It wasn't far but it seemed strange for a little girl to have to traverse through them on her own. If the doctor knew of her family, shouldn't Hasumi be living with them in the safety of the village? Maybe it wasn't safe for her to live in the village. Those priests from before seemed oddly unkind to a child.
The trees of the woods were mostly oaks with a banyan tree here or there. Lifted and contorted, spiraling roots made up the path to the little miko's supposed home. As a play space, this path seemed ideal for a child. You could hide behind any trunk or root or mossy stone for hide-and-seek, or you could even hide things for scavenger hunts. That's what she liked to do. Ever since her beloved senpai told her the story about the inu princess and the wall of fog, she developed a love for treasure hunting. She wanted her childhood wish to come true and hoped that the inu princess would bless her path to finding her bride and groom. She clung onto that hope until the day she was assaulted. Homugi then began to think about Takamuku and his love of climbing or scaling taller things when they were children. She had started living with him in a secluded mountain cabin for protection after being thrown out by her parents, and the two found comfort in being around each other until he drifted away himself. Soon, the "safe house" as she often called it grew lonelier and emptier. Takamuku hadn't been himself until she learned the truth. They both had lost Sesshomaru as their friend and had been disgraced. Though they were reunited with him at different times, he seemed fine not even being able to recognize them or work together with them. Like his father, he preferred the company of others.
Not wanting to remember anything else relating to Sesshomaru, she was actually a bit more at ease when talking about Meioshi. Though they only met in recent days, Homugi appreciated her kindness and support. The doctor was a great friend to have, and Homugi even found that Yuko was a great friend as well. Yuko would probably be the one to teach her about relationships and such since she was married to a disgraced demon prince. While Homugi wasn't interested in courtship with a human in the slightest, she seemed to not mind dating outside of her race in the demon world as much. Demons helped the doctor and Yuko as though they were brethren, even going so far as to teach the children certain things. Homugi wanted to hear more about Yuko and Yamashi's story before they left, but Meioshi's injuries took precedence. Homugi wasn't sure if the doctor would have relationship advice since that man, Hidorobo, seemed to be her tainted lover in the past. Why on Earth was he trying so hard to get rid of her? It made no sense. She would have to ask about that in the future.
As a teacher, however, Homugi found that Meioshi was quite knowledgeable about certain aspects of life. While she didn't understand why picking lavender flowers was important just yet, the task was calming, and she liked simply sitting or taking a nap in the fields. Homugi wanted to learn more about Meioshi's calligraphy practices, but the doctor said she wasn't ready for those lessons and left to go take care of something. When she returned, all continued smoothly. Instead of calligraphy, she was taught how to dry the lavender flowers to make oils, perfumes, and decorations, and she was taught how to make medicine with herbs that the doctor grew in the area. Supposedly, they paired well with lavender and made excellent teas. She did receive other instruction, though. It was probably the hardest lesson to learn and to agree with: accepting the past. She didn't want to accept the pain of ridicule or loneliness. She didn't want to remember the pain of abandonment or emotional detachment either. She wanted to forget it. Meioshi, however, was adamant about this one lesson.
... ...||
"How can you expect me to forgive people who fully intended to hurt me?" she demanded, sitting in front of the doctor. "Don't you get tired of it? Every time something goes wrong in life, you're the first one to be analyzed, criticized, or blamed. Abandonment isn't victimless! Why does the victim have to forgive their attackers when they go free? They don't have to live with the aftermath of anything that they did! They get to move onto a better life while you're stuck trying to answer questions you never posed. I never asked myself why I was left behind. I just... accepted that. You're telling me you forgave that man even though he tried to kill you?"
"Yes," Meioshi answered calmly, silencing Homugi. "If killing me was the only thing I had to forgive, I wouldn't be sitting here in front of you. I know the truth about him now. Most people... don't get the same opportunity to see it the way I did. I'm not telling you to forgive your transgressors as a way of oppression or submission. I'm telling you to forgive them so that you can forgive yourself."
"Myself? If you think I need forgiveness for anything they've done, then I was a fool for believing you'd help me!"
"It seems you are not ready to be free then," Meioshi said, rising to stand. "I was under the impression that you were ready to move on with your life. I owe Lord Sesshomaru an apology. I fought him for no reason."
"What do you mean you fought him? He was... here? I didn't catch his scent or feel your powers clashing," Homugi said, looking into Meioshi's eyes. They were turning that bright orange again, but her beast form wasn't returning.
"He was here to see you," Meioshi responded, lids lowering to a soft facial expression. "I've been keeping him away from you because I thought you were ready for healing. Since you're using me to get his attention, I have no reason to teach you further. You may return to his side. I will simply escort you off my property and ensure you never return to it. These are sacred grounds. I will not have them desecrated by emotionally starved children. You are permitted to visit Heiwa, otherwise. Your friendships will remain intact."
"I'm not looking for his attention! I was - !" Homugi tried, hurt that Meioshi was essentially putting her in exile.
"Wasting my time?" Meioshi questioned, raising an eyebrow. "No, let me correct myself. Demons are heralded a little higher than humans. We wouldn't understand the kind of lives you live. It's impossible for me to find two or three other human and/or demon women who have gone through what you have gone through. Offering advice to a demon is especially insulting. Why would a supposed noblewoman like you seek anything from a fool like me?"
"That's not what I said! I - !" Homugi tried again, gripping her shirt out of fear.
"Was going to say that I was too submissive for the likes of an independent woman like - ?"
"Stop it!" Homugi shouted, tears flowing out of her eyes. "You're not less than because you're a human! Stop putting words in my mouth! I grew up thinking humans were worthless, yes, but you're not like the others. I don't get you... is what I was trying to say. I don't understand why you're protecting me, but... I'm grateful that you are. I don't get why I need forgiveness, Meioshi. Why did you forgive that man when he's physically hurting you? That doesn't feel like you're giving up or accepting the abuse done to you by forgiving him?"
"I did not forgive him as a method of rolling over and playing dead," Meioshi replied, fighting the urge to wipe Homugi's tears. She had to be the teacher here. "I forgave him so that I could see the truth for myself. Focusing on the pain that others have caused you inevitably puts you at risk of never seeing the good in life and always criticizing your faults when none of what happened had anything to do with you. Something as simple as dropping a spoon will leave you spiraling into the madness of self-destruction. You ignore gentleness, turn away from kindness, denounce wisdom and grace when it is presented to you in its purest form. Pretend for a moment that the four positive qualities I named were the walls of a room. Nothing is in the room besides you, a mirror covered by a sheet of linen, and a window. Forgiveness is the hand removing the sheet of turmoil, doubt, and self-loathing from the mirror. Acceptance is seeing the truth within the mirror and allowing yourself to reflect on that learned truth with those same four virtues surrounding you, protecting you, and guiding you. But, the thing that you need most of all - that you are struggling with now - is self-acceptance. Self-acceptance is where we are different in strength. I have moved on from looking into the mirror and seeing the truth. I have taken that truth and have walked over to the window of the world. The light that has graced my skin is the power of understanding and progression. The questions that you're asking me, even the lashing out you're showing me, is proof that you're not standing in front of the sheet waiting for the hand to remove it. You're afraid of the hand itself. When I told you Sesshomaru was here for you a moment ago, you didn't run to me or him. You sank back and got real quiet. You did the exact same thing when Sesshomaru snapped at you."
"What he said hurt," Homugi said, throat tightening and burning at the memory.
"I would be impressed if it didn't," Meioshi said, making Homugi look at her through tears. "But what he said to you was a vital clue as to why he's been hanging around my sensei or wanting to fight him versus kill him. He specifically demanded I hand him over when the killings in the woodlands had just begun. He never really wanted to mortally wound him. Sensei has rightfully earned the respect of many, but the way Sesshomaru has regarded him has been different. When he snapped at you, he wasn't really speaking to you solely when he said those words. He was speaking to a group of people within your age range that have either torn him down or fed him those words that he threw at you. He said, 'You, brats, are all the same.' He didn't say you're just like every other woman. Brats refer to children or a younger group of people. Annoyed adults usually say that. Part of what he said probably does hold a bigger truth surrounding him, and I hope he takes this time away from you to get a good look at himself. But, you have to stop being afraid of the truth if you want to be free. He's already made the move - subconsciously or not - to tell you the truth. You have to be ready to forgive him in order to see it for yourself."
"Tikun..." Homugi whispered, looking down at her feet. "What did they do to you, Tikun?"
Meioshi narrowed her eyes at the nickname. She decided to leave out what Sesshomaru said about their betrothal. She was partially correct in her assumptions. The leaders of the House of Inu traumatized Sesshomaru and Homugi severely enough as children to lead them into this jaded adulthood. Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, the doctor then said, "This lesson is easily the hardest one to master, even when it was me who had to learn it, but had I not completed this, I wouldn't have seen all of what I needed to see. I want you to see the truth for yourself, my Homugi. You deserve that much. Seeing you smile is easily one of the most beautiful things your world can offer. I want you to smile more. I want you to continue learning, but you have to give yourself a chance. I can't do all of the work for you."
"What I need to see... for myself?" Homugi muttered, chest tightening and warming up.
Meioshi nodded and continued, "You have a right to know what happened. Just as I, and others, did. I wouldn't have been able to remove elements out of my life that were causing the real abuse if I didn't see things for what they really were. Hidorobo has hurt me, yes, but... he's not my enemy. Forgiving him allowed him to be a slave to someone else's ambitions with content. Stopping him was the source of my abuse. I was trying to help someone that even the gods didn't want to help. That was the most painful of the truths I had to learn. So, I don't stop him or try to change his mind anymore. Because I didn't know the truth myself at the time, I kept hurting myself. I kept asking what I did wrong when I didn't do anything wrong. I kept believing that I was prepared for my situation. That I had a solution to every part of the problem, but the truth was there was no way for me to know what was going on with him. What happened to me, unfortunately, could happen to anyone. Same with you. You're not the first young girl I've had to coach out of this predicament, and, unfortunately, you're not going to be the last or the only one. That hurts me more. Calling me a fool downplays all of the efforts I've made helping other girls just like you. Sesshomaru's words cut me just as deep as they did for you. My response to him was probably uncalled for, but I took more of an offense for everyone else he was pinpointing. We don't deserve to be behind anyone who continues to do us wrong. Believing that you do is true submission. I would never teach you or anyone else to be content with that belief."
... ...||
"She helped me fight against some powerful enemies," Homugi replied, balling her hands into fists. Her resolve much stronger than before. If Meioshi wanted her to protect this kid, then she'll find joy in protecting the kid. She had to in order to get the truth out of everyone. She then said, "Ones that weren't affected by my techniques. I had to use hers. Right now, I'm facing an undefeatable enemy... but... not alone. She's by my side, shield and sword at the ready. I can't afford to let her down. Not when... she's done so much to protect and to help me."
"How strong is she really?" Hasumi asked, leaping over a lifted tree root. She looked at the inu beauty with curiosity in her eyes and resting her chin on her arms. "She held back just because I'm a kid. I know she did... but... the way she smiled... was like she was excited to see me. Like she was... cheering for me. Even when she looked at you, it was like she was saying not to worry. She negated my strongest capture spell all by herself! She has to be a real fighter. She's not afraid."
"I don't know terribly many humans that can fight the way she can. Most of the ones I've come across aren't worth the time," Homugi replied, scanning her surroundings. "But she is stronger than she lets on. She knows the weaknesses of certain demons. Knows how to get rid of 'em. The only person she's afraid of from what I can see is herself. Or, at the very least, some version of herself that she felt she let down at some point. If you're into rare demons, though, I think she has a museum full of information about them. She teaches children like you about them in detail."
"I don't like kids," Hasumi remarked with a straight face. "They're mean and have slime coming out of their noses. They even steal my hair bows!"
"Probably because they make you look cute," Homugi joked, smirking. "The one on your head has all those frills."
"My frills give me a personality, I'll have you know," Hasumi argued, puffing her cheeks out. "If they want to look cute, they can start by cleaning their noses. Or putting a bag over their heads. Either way works. I'll add that their breath stinks, too. Chew some mint!"
Homugi chuckled a bit then said, "I guess you're not really like that girl he protected, after all. You're a little spunkier. I like that."
"I'm uniquely me. Thank you!" Hasumi argued, sitting up and putting her hands on her hips. "If the girl you're referring to is another one of those snotty-nosed ingrates, I'll pass on the reference. I'll be dirty and stinky everywhere else but my gorgeous bows. I work hard on them. I'm screwed if I have to make a waterproof bow, though. I don't have a material that works against water."
"Aren't you supposed to ask your parents if it's okay for you to go with strangers somewhere?" Homugi questioned, lifting a hand then dropping onto her thigh.
"The doctor's pure of heart. My parents won't mind," Hasumi replied. She then made a serious face and said darkly, "She'll find out anyway."
"Find out what?" Homugi asked, tilting her head.
"Before I answer that, the doctor said something about a rare demon type like you named Sesshomaru. You just said I wasn't like a girl he protected. Elaborate," Hasumi demanded, standing in place like she was about to attack Homugi or defend herself. "We're almost home."
Homugi was fully suspicious now and was about to summon her morning star mace, but Hasumi shook her head and clutched at her sunflower staff. Something was approaching them. She would have to play along for a while until the enemy revealed themselves. The air was growing colder. She then said, "'Bout a hundred and fifty-four of your human years ago, a demon king we called the Great Dog General was expecting a halfling child named Inuyasha. Sesshomaru, the firstborn son of our king, had confronted his father just before Inuyasha's birth. He wanted the swords his father carried in order to become the new king and symbol of power of the House of Inu. Unfortunately, his father and the Court of Elders denied him such a title, and he had to undergo many trials just to prove his worth. Because he was often compared to his father, Sesshomaru went on a search for his own empire without his father's influence having something to do with his reign. I'm saying all of this boring info because Sesshomaru couldn't find anything worth ruling, and that's how long it took for him to realize that his father's reign was too far-reaching. Our king was too revered and loved as a leader for Sesshomaru to just erase his iconic standing from his life. He fought hard in his youth to prove he was capable of leadership like his father, but, when his own father denied him and the rest of the court criticized him, it became too much so he started his journey alone. He did manage to find one servant who was quite loyal to him, but a nation of servants eager to serve him just because he is the son of the king does that one servant no justice. It was simply unfair to him. Just to add salt in the wound, the general of our army tasked Sesshomaru with assassination work. Sesshomaru doesn't know this, but our general expressed that he didn't believe Sesshomaru could handle larger missions because of his participation in the war against the Panther tribe. Sesshomaru invests a lot of his time in power strikes versus tactical warfare. His reign would be short-lived. Four years ago, however, he finally came face-to-face with his halfling brother for the right to one of his father's swords. The confrontation was a failure, but he stumbled upon a young girl about your age in an impoverished village. I'm not sure what happened between them, but she was part of his entourage, and both his servant and the girl gave him a reason to fight for his own empire again. That is... until the girl had perished in hell. Out of grief, he brought the girl home to his mother, and she was resurrected with his mother's help."
"That's real cute and all, but what does any of that have to do with you?" Hasumi asked, twirling her staff around to straighten it up and stand tall. The threat was slow to attack. It seemed to be listening to them.
"I was... a candidate for marriage to him when we were kids," Homugi admitted. "Before Inuyasha was even born, Sesshomaru and I were friends. He always wanted to be a good leader, but he didn't like some of the rules we had. He wanted to change them and had proof ready for any questioning on the benefits of those changes. Some of his ideas were really good. I don't remember much, but I know his parents were slowly slipping from his grasp. Me and Muku-senpai tried to cheer him up and be there for him, but it meant nothing when he had to go back home to them. That night when our parents were discussing the arrangements was when he finally snapped. I was told to leave and never go back. Afterwards, we were forced apart. My parents blamed me for what happened, and my people were worse. I had to live with being the rejected bride of the crowned prince. No matter how perfect my domestic skill, it wasn't enough. I tried to be independent instead and just focus on my work as a soldier, but even that wasn't enough. What I hated more and what hurt me more was when they started comparing me to that little girl. Our backgrounds were so far apart, it didn't make sense to even have a comparison between us. I wasn't poor or orphaned or disadvantaged in any way when I was her age. I met Sesshomaru at school in the elite fighters' program. I wasn't mute or weak. I was being trained to fight in combat! Before the betrothal, I was by his side as his comrade, not someone who had to be taken care of. In spite of all of that, I was beneath her. They found every little thing they could to make me into nothing. I was uglier than her, weaker than her, dumber than her, less caring than her. There had to be a reason why he rejected me but kept her at his side. Whatever they could find, they hung that over my head until I started believing it myself. Even when I babysat the kid for a day, she was so hellbent on being with Sesshomaru, it actually made me sick. It was always 'where's Lord Sesshomaru', 'is Lord Sesshomaru okay', 'I know Lord Sesshomaru will come for me.' Shut the hell up, everyone! The world doesn't revolve around this one man or his decisions! Obviously, it didn't before! All of sudden everyone cares about him just because he has two servants versus the actual thousands that Lord Toga had? Get the hell out of my face with that!"
"Did the kid have bad breath?" Hasumi asked, tilting her head. Odd as it was, she kind of understood where Homugi was coming from.
"What she didn't have was a good first impression," Homugi replied. "I don't know if that's because I was pissed off at the time, or if I genuinely just didn't give a damn anymore and wanted the day to be over. Either way, whatever accomplishment Sesshomaru was supposed to have or lesson Sesshomaru was supposed to learn is a pile of shit when I'm one of the people who knew him before all of this. The House of Inu lost one of their greatest leaders just because they didn't want to upset our dead king's memory. Let the man die!"
"My sentiments exactly..." a voice finally sounded.
Both girls armed themselves and went on the defense in front of several demons that smelled of the Netherworld. From the circle of goblins came a presence that Homugi probably hated more than Sesshomaru himself. Teinosuke...